Problems With Sex Scenes

[John988]

this problem should subside as you mature past junior high.

You may go on now with head held high, knowing that you rose to the occasion, when no one else would, to smite down the wicked complainant for honestly voicing a frustration, with lackluster wit, failing grammar, and one of the Internet's most popular insults, right behind "fag" and "retard". You, sir, are to be commended, especially considering that you did all of this in complete anonymity. That takes true grit, Mr. Keyboard Warrior.

 

[VenusButterflies]

You may go on now with head held high, knowing that you rose to the occasion, when no one else would, to smite down the wicked complainant for honestly voicing a frustration, with lackluster wit, failing grammar, and one of the Internet's most popular insults, right behind "fag" and "retard". You, sir, are to be commended, especially considering that you did all of this in complete anonymity. That takes true grit, Mr. Keyboard Warrior.

Love it.

 

[lovecraft68]

You may go on now with head held high, knowing that you rose to the occasion, when no one else would, to smite down the wicked complainant for honestly voicing a frustration, with lackluster wit, failing grammar, and one of the Internet's most popular insults, right behind "fag" and "retard". You, sir, are to be commended, especially considering that you did all of this in complete anonymity. That takes true grit, Mr. Keyboard Warrior.

Awesome response!

Okay I heard that last part in the voice from all those old Budweiser commercials. "Here's to you Mr. Keyboard Warrior!"

 

[49greg]

I'm a new author here (I posted my first story a few weeks ago), and I've been having a lot of trouble keeping my head in the game, so to speak, when writing sex scenes. I get caught up visualizing them, and, before I know it, I'm halfway to an orgasm. I've tried masturbating first, then writing, but I still get horny, which turns into frustrated because I can't do anything about it (I'm a guy, so, you know, refractory period and all). It severely impacted the first story I finished (the sex scene is the last scene, and I was so frustrated with not being able to think while writing it that I published with a bare bones scene), and it's really slowing down the process of writing my current story.

Does anyone else have this problem? If so, how have you dealt with it?

Doubt if I can help, but it helps me if I don't masturbate. When I do that, or have sex with my wife before I write, I seem to lack the inspiration to do a decent sex scene. No that I do a good one otherwise, but I do a worse one if I've done it. So I write better if I'm horny.

That might be the reason I take so long to finish a story.

 

[PennLady]

This is just not an issue for me and I'm not sure what that says about me or my stories... guess I just separate things out when I write.

 

[SecondCircle]

This is just not an issue for me and I'm not sure what that says about me or my stories... guess I just separate things out when I write.

That scotch will change that.

 

[lovecraft68]

This is just not an issue for me and I'm not sure what that says about me or my stories... guess I just separate things out when I write.

Probably just means that you are a methodical writer and are capable of seeing it as just another part of the story that has to be done.

I've found at times that I have more fun writing the story than the sex.

What does that say about me? Other than I am becoming a "porn snob"

 

[John988]

So, it's taken a bit of time, but the scene I'm working on is coming out quite well. I discovered that half of my problem was that I didn't actually know a lot of the details that I wanted and allowing myself to naturally work through the fantasy really helped with that. There is much more earnest passion, as well, because I let myself pour my own energy into it, as so many of you suggested. I greatly appreciate all of your input.

If you happen to be browsing the Toys & Masturbation section in a few weeks and see my username, I hope you'll stop and check out my story.

 

[lovecraft68]

So, it's taken a bit of time, but the scene I'm working on is coming out quite well. I discovered that half of my problem was that I didn't actually know a lot of the details that I wanted and allowing myself to naturally work through the fantasy really helped with that. There is much more earnest passion, as well, because I let myself pour my own energy into it, as so many of you suggested. I greatly appreciate all of your input.

If you happen to be browsing the Toys & Masturbation section in a few weeks and see my username, I hope you'll stop and check out my story.

Put it up in the story feedback forum and people will give it a read and post what they think

 

[Hypoxia]

Probably just means that you are a methodical writer and are capable of seeing it as just another part of the story that has to be done.

I've found at times that I have more fun writing the story than the sex.

What does that say about me? Other than I am becoming a "porn snob"

How I triage literature:

Non-Erotic: Sex is incidental to the story.
Erotic: Sex is integral to the story.
Pr0n: Sex IS the story.

Writing sex scenes can too easily become mechanical or daunting. How to break from patterns? I know I recycle descriptions. I know I repeat positions and sequences. (At least my male narrators don't say "Dear God!" whenever they're seduced.) If I write a scene that's so good that I want to rub one out right then, well, that's just another bit I can self-plagiarize for the next tale(s).

Like LC, I'm story-centric. A guideline: Would the story exist without the sex? With THAT'S MY GIRL, yes. With the BLACK & WHITE stories, just barely. With my satires like RANDY RANDY (THE PORNOMANCER) or (RIGHT) UNDER HIS EYES, or A SPOT OF MUSIC, no. Sometimes, sex IS the story. Can't help it.

 

[Hypoxia]

So, it's taken a bit of time, but the scene I'm working on is coming out quite well. I discovered that half of my problem was that I didn't actually know a lot of the details that I wanted and allowing myself to naturally work through the fantasy really helped with that. There is much more earnest passion, as well, because I let myself pour my own energy into it, as so many of you suggested.

I visualize a few approaches to storytelling.

* Sculpture. I build an armature or framework (characters, environment, plot points) and slap clay (words) onto it, then shave away or slap more on, as needed.

* Cine: I 'see' the story as a screenplay. I let it play out before my eyes, then transcribe and edit it.

* Painting: I try to paint pictures for readers to see and immerse themselves. I write a scene, then go back and look for holes, empty spaces, details lost in shadows, etc.

That last approach may work best. See the scene in your mind. Look for details that are either superfluous or missing. Erase or add, until the picture comes alive in your mind.

 

[mikoli5763]

I believe

I have seen a similar thread here in the past.
I don't have this problem when I write so I don't have a solution. I have a difficult time with getting aroused trying to edit after I'm done writing.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Jacking off to your sex scenes is absurd as shooting up the neighborhood for your dueling scene or grilling for your food article.

 

[lovecraft68]

Jacking off to your sex scenes is absurd as shooting up the neighborhood for your dueling scene or grilling for your food article.

True

I learned this when I choreographed my last major fight scene in a ring with a couple of other guys and got stupid and went for a move my character could pull off, but I.....ended up with a sprained knee and had to use crutches for a week and wear a brace for a month.

Do not try this at home

 

[VenusButterflies]

Jacking off to your sex scenes is absurd as shooting up the neighborhood for your dueling scene or grilling for your food article.

A lot of my sex scenes are scenes I've already jacked off to at one point or another. (Yes I said jacked, even though I'm a girl. I hate using the term "jilled.") It's like product testing.

I just don't touch myself at all while I'm writing. I'm already mentally masturbating.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

A lot of my sex scenes are scenes I've already jacked off to at one point or another. (Yes I said jacked, even though I'm a girl. I hate using the term "jilled.") It's like product testing.

I just don't touch myself at all while I'm writing. I'm already mentally masturbating.

I'm as dissociated as a surgeon reconstructing a babys face. (Its so cool to watch. The surgeon removes the face, cuts away all the bone, and pieces it back together right, then makes the skin fit the new form).

 

[49greg]

A lot of my sex scenes are scenes I've already jacked off to at one point or another. (Yes I said jacked, even though I'm a girl. I hate using the term "jilled.") It's like product testing.

I just don't touch myself at all while I'm writing. I'm already mentally masturbating.

That's similar much my system. I'll mull over a scene, if I get turned on I'll start putting it on paper. If I actually turn into a J/O session I'll try to remember and write it later.

Since much of the time I get ideas for scenes and plots while I'm out walking, it's not often convenient to jack off. Occasionally I'll just be bored at home and start a masturbation session. If my imagination creates a scenario that will fit into a story I'll try to remember it later when things cool down. I don't Jack off when I'm writing. I have to be horny rather than sated to not only think of sex scenes, but write them down with the proper ... passion.

On a slightly different subject, I also get into the thinking mode and come up with plots both with and without sex while I'm watching, or more accurately while I'm being bored with the TV on. It's been embarrassing a few times when, later in the evening I'm wearing light sweats or just boxers, my imagination causes arousal. My much better half has noticed this condition and wondered what in that true crime type show has got me in that state.

I'm in a lucky home situation as far as writing. My wife is younger than I am. So while I'm retired, she is still working, giving me lots of time at home alone. I'd have less time If I was as good a house-husband as I should be.

 

[VenusButterflies]

I'm as dissociated as a surgeon reconstructing a babys face. (Its so cool to watch. The surgeon removes the face, cuts away all the bone, and pieces it back together right, then makes the skin fit the new form).

Eek! As amazing as that is, I'm too squeamish. It's really hard for me to watch that kinda stuff.

 

[49greg]

Eek! As amazing as that is, I'm too squeamish. It's really hard for me to watch that kinda stuff.

When I got back to work after my bypass surgery eighteen years ago, a buddy at work told me about a bypass operation he had seen on tv. He described it to me in detail. Having just been on the other side of things I was interested in what happened while I was out. Now that I may be looking at a re-do of the thing ... I'm not so interested.