profile picture help
- Thread starter bobbybobs
- Start date
Aquagal
Literotica Guru
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- Apr 27, 2007
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- 31,672
Yes!!
warrior queen
early bird snack pack
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2003
- Posts
- 31,500
There're a few women and men here who'd appreciate a good cock pic.
But they don't want soft cock, all squirmy and squishy.
No, sir!
They want hard, full erect, substantial cock.
If you can fill the brief (heh, see what I did there?!!!) you're good.
Can you?
But they don't want soft cock, all squirmy and squishy.
No, sir!
They want hard, full erect, substantial cock.
If you can fill the brief (heh, see what I did there?!!!) you're good.
Can you?
lovetoread
hello daddy
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- Mar 16, 2001
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- 42,978
CandiCame
Rocket Grunt
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
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- 26,765
That picture reminds me of an unnecessarily long joke my mom once told me. It has the weirdest setting ever, so picture the Harry Potter universe, but in the states. One wherein there is magic, but it's not commonly known, but also, cars and modern medicine.
So there's this mage and he has to leave on a business trip, so he gives his wife an enchanted disembodied replica of his own cock. And he tells her that to activate it, she has to say, "Magic dick" and wherever she wants it. So she's like, "Cool. Magic dick." And he leaves.
So she's like, "Ima try this out. Magic dick, my pussy." And sure enough, it starts fucking her, just like her husband. So she's just riding it out, and cums and is like, "This is awesome. Magic dick, stop." But it doesn't. Now she's not a mage, so she's trying every ending charm she knows. "Stop" "End" "Enough", and nothing works. So she tries to call her man, and can't get ahold of him, so she's like, "Goddamn it I'm gonna have to go to the hospital."
So she gets in the car, and she's driving to the hospital. And by now it's been hours and hours so her pussy's all sore and painful and she's so fucking done so she's driving recklessly, just zooming past motherfuckers, trying to get to the hospital. So a cop pulls her over.
The cop comes up, and it's a guy, and he's like, "Mam, you were swearving and speeding, I need you to take a breathalizer."
And she's like, "No, seriously. I'm not drunk. My husband is a mage and he enchanted a magic disembodied dick and I'm fucking dying here and I need to get to the hospital."
And the cop replies, "Mam. That's complete bullshit and you know it," Getting pissed off that she's just lying to his face.
So she's getting pissed too, and she's in pain so she's all, "Seriously! Magic dick!"
And the cop, equally mad, is like, "Magic Dick my ass..."
...and that's the joke.
jewelscumberland
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2015
- Posts
- 18
Really?
100 posts are you for real?
100 posts are you for real?
Last edited:
jewelscumberland
Virgin
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- Jan 11, 2015
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- 18
Funny Joke BTW
Great joke BTW!
Great joke BTW!
oggbashan
Dying Truth seeker
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- Jul 3, 2002
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- 56,017
You might be able to put in your profile by adding an url, or in your signature.
But you can't put it as an AV beside your posts
<--- Here
until you have 100 posts.
4est_4est_Gump
Run Forrest! RUN!
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2011
- Posts
- 89,007
Worst alt ever.
You call yourself RobertRobert and then say your name is Dick...
You call yourself RobertRobert and then say your name is Dick...
dolf
Ex porn
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2004
- Posts
- 78,964
i'm just going to pop you on ignore in advance. men (or indeed women) waggling their genitals in my face, unless they've been invited to, is just plain creepy.
women don't see a cock av and think, ''wow! he looks nice! I must talk to him!!''
on this, i'm not in the minority here.
women don't see a cock av and think, ''wow! he looks nice! I must talk to him!!''
on this, i'm not in the minority here.
4est_4est_Gump
Run Forrest! RUN!
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2011
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- 89,007
What I got you got to get it put it in you...
Gibbitaway, gibbitaway, gibbitaway NOW!
Gibbitaway, gibbitaway, gibbitaway NOW!
Tathagata
Lazarus Monkey
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- Feb 10, 2004
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Lord Pmann
Lord
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- Mar 12, 2012
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The cockatar is a great ice breaker. I mean, what other way are you going to get people to take notice? Some poor soul tried poetry here the other day and he was shot down like it was a game of Duck Hunt. I feel that if he only had his dick in his avatar, he would have succeeded.
While you do need 100 posts, that does not stop you from sending PMs to every single woman you see here, dick in PM. Some refer to that as a drive by dicking and women LOVE that. It also goes well if you use an opening story about how you're going to own her and make her "urrrrr beeeeotch".
This is solid advice, Sir Richard.
While you do need 100 posts, that does not stop you from sending PMs to every single woman you see here, dick in PM. Some refer to that as a drive by dicking and women LOVE that. It also goes well if you use an opening story about how you're going to own her and make her "urrrrr beeeeotch".
This is solid advice, Sir Richard.
Sinny
Gnome where you want to
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2010
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- 14,209
Quoted for truth.
neci
flagged
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2008
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- 38,120
user cp - click
edit profile picture - click
upload picture - you may have to resize if your cock is way huge.
a cock shot as the profile picture is actually a very tasteful way of sporting cock around these parts. most people, the ungifted and horribly rude, are offended by cock in the avatar. placing ones cock as the profile picture (what you go see when you click on the person to find more info about them) is a way to accommodate the masses and still show off the majesty of raw cock. personally, i enjoy cock in all of its states from flaccid to hard and everywhere in between. let your cock flag fly!
JohnnySavage
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 25, 2008
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The NCAA Tournament.
