Question for the ladies.

[KPaulNeilson]

Ladies, what do you want in a lover?
A friend is going through a divorce that has serious made him doubt himself in the bedroom. 15+ years with the same woman (last 5 sexless), and he's not confident in his skills, abilitirs, or even what to do in bed.

This got me thinking (and my paranoia pinging). I'm basically in the same boat and pretty much in a rut myself. However, I know enough to know that I know nothing (~So-Crates) so, ladies and guys who enjoy the company of other men, what do you want?

In the bedroom, what do you look for (beyond physical looks)? How does a guy know what you want them to do? How does he politely ask for what he wants? How does he politely ask for you to NOT do something without insult or ruining the mood?

 

[dolf]

I want a guy who doesn't assume I'll like something just because other women said that's what they like. If he can't pay enough attention to my reaction to tell if he's on the right track, there's really no point trying to explain to him. There's nothing wrong with bringing up fantasies when you're still at the making out stage, as long as it's not threesomes or adult diapers, etc.

 

[Sunflower1991]

First and foremost it should be fun. It doesn't have to be super serious or trying to remake some intense love scene from a movie somewhere. I feel both people should be able to smile and laugh and have open communication. Don't make it so tense that either of you get nervous and then confidence starts wavering. Have fun, talk and be open.

 

[Go_Fuck_Yourself]

I want a guy who doesn't assume I'll like something just because other women said that's what they like. If he can't pay enough attention to my reaction to tell if he's on the right track, there's really no point trying to explain to him. There's nothing wrong with bringing up fantasies when you're still at the making out stage, as long as it's not threesomes or adult diapers, etc.

I can clearly see that Dolf prefers ATM! Not!

 

[girlsmiley]

In the bedroom, what do you look for (beyond physical looks)? How does a guy know what you want them to do? How does he politely ask for what he wants? How does he politely ask for you to NOT do something without insult or ruining the mood?

I usually look for socks. Where's the other one? Is it under the bed? Where's my hair tie etc. Is that the dencorub? Can you pass my glasses?

And then of course what dolf said. You know, about women being different. From each other.

 

[Kantarii]

Let’s look at the core issue going on here rather than giving you a grocery list of things women look for.


Divorce shouldn’t be seen as always a bad thing. It’s a perfect time to reinvent yourself both in your eyes and to those around you. Getting caught up in the insecurity thing is a motherfucker. Lose it or you’re not going to get much further than the meet and greet type casual encounters that go nowhere. Last bit of advice: Try to smile more. Happy people aren’t insecure.

 

[silver gurl]

Let’s look at the core issue going on here rather than giving you a grocery list of things women look for.


Divorce shouldn’t be seen as always a bad thing. It’s a perfect time to reinvent yourself both in your eyes and to those around you. Getting caught up in the insecurity thing is a motherfucker. Lose it or you’re not going to get much further than the meet and greet type casual encounters that go nowhere. Last bit of advice: Try to smile more. Happy people aren’t insecure.

This is true.

 

[pointless]

well, if you want to be my lover you simply have to get with my friends.

 

[silver gurl]

Make it last forever, friendship never ends!

 

[rae121452]

a bank balance with a whole lot of zeros after the first five numbers can turn even the wartiest toad into a prince. separate bathrooms is nice, too.

 

[girlsmiley]

a bank balance with a whole lot of zeros after the first five numbers can turn even the wartiest toad into a prince. separate bathrooms is nice, too.

He's a warty toad?