Really Bad Pop Songs

[Artina Heartflash]

Re: BloodRock

One really awful, morbid song that my brother and I loved as kids was by a group called Bloodrock. They had one song about an airplane crash and the guy is recounting what happened during the accident and how everybody died. I guess that could be nominated because it was so gross.
"I remember, we were flying along and hit something in the air..." Really stupid but creepy to any eight-year-old.

That was called D. O. A. The subject is terrible, but the heavy, dark plodding music can still rock me. Can't recall if there was a jetscream in there, but it would have been effective to bring one out. NOT like "Afternoon Delight"'s diving skyrocket.

What about "Alone Again...Naturally"?

Or that Canine Christmas tune that has the dogs barking "jingle bells"?

 

[waverlysgirl]

Re: Re: BloodRock

That was called D. O. A. The subject is terrible, but the heavy, dark plodding music can still rock me. Can't recall if there was a jetscream in there, but it would have been effective to bring one out. NOT like "Afternoon Delight"'s diving skyrocket.

What about "Alone Again...Naturally"?

Or that Canine Christmas tune that has the dogs barking "jingle bells"?

Thanks, I was going to drive to my parents house and find the album Yes, Alone Again...Naturally is really a stupid song. I don't mind the jingle bells song because you only have to hear it once per year and even then, I'm lucky if I hear it once.

Has anyone mentioned "Feelings"? or that "Pina Colada" song? How about "Undercover Angel"?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Let me step in here with a reference to "They're Coming To Take Me Away" by Napoleon III. I wouldn't allow this nomination because the song was especially intended to be bad and irritating. It's the only song I know of that many radio stations refused to play because so many listeners complaine about it.

For those of you who didn't have the pleasure: It is a narration in doggerel verse set to a dull, insistent beat of why he's going insane, and all the while the tape of the narration is speeding up so his voice is getting higher and faster. It's not funny, it's just irritating as hell. (On the flip side was the same exact song recorded in reverse.)

So I would refuse to consider that song.

Same with the barking dog Xmas song or any of the Chipmunk's musical efforts.

As for "D.O.A.", I am sorry I missed that, but it reminds me of the slew of morbid teenage death songs that came out in the late 50's early 60's: Teen Angel, Tell Laura I Love Her, Last Kiss, Patches, Endless Sleep, and probably the best known, Leader of the Pack. There was also some weirdy about a guy who had "a pain in his brain" from a hurricane that killed his baby Jane, and a truly awful song where the singer's baby gets eaten by a shark. ("And the sea was re-e--ed!")

I gotta say though, in terms of total bombs, or piss-poor artistic judgment in selecting material, it is hard to beat "Muscrat Love". Now I don't care for them, but Captain & Tenille had a mega-killer hit with "Love will keep us together" & were sitting on the absolute top of the entire pop world, and what do they pick to do as an encore? "Muscrat Love"! Crash-Roll-Burn-&-Die! Instant career immolation!

What the hell were they thinking?!


---dr.M.

 

[alwaysawake]

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the 'song' (term used VERY loosely) that drives me absolutely batshit...

Y.M.C.A. by Village (of the Damned) People. ACKKKKK!

 

[tonitits]

Any song by Weird Al Yankovich

 

[dr.bong]

Who Let the Dogs Out!!!!

(JUst typing it induces convulsions)

 

[alwaysawake]

Spiders and Snakes--Jim Stafford
Dead Skunk--Loudon Wainwright III

 

[cookiejar]

I recently heard this on an oldies station...omg is it bad




I've Never Been To Me
( Charlene )

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Neice and the isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children that might have made me complete)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me

 

[dr.bong]

the Macarena

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Gee Cookie, thanks for those lyrics. Not too smarmy are they? Quick, someone the insulin!

I rmember the song slightly. I have vague memories of retching into the car's ashtray as it played.

Now weird Al and Louden Wainwright III don't count, because those songs were meant to be weird. Al's are of course parodies, and we want to stick to songs that were made in some kind of earnestness, that someone actually thought were good enough to release.

Like the Amboy Dukes' endearing psychedelic brain-melter, "Journey To The Center of YOUR MIND"

---dr.M.

 

[dr.bong]

virtually anything recorded in the last 10 years

 

[jubileeslave]

*Weeps*

some of those are really good songs when you need somethin to laugh at

But Fucking Jerks has my vote

 

[Angeline]

For Your Consideration

I Am, I Said by Neil Diamond

Consider:

I am, I said
to no one there
and no one answered me
not even the chair.

Now *there's* a lyric.

And

Baby, Im-a-Want You

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy

oh and then there's

Such are the Dreams of the Everyday Housewife

Let it Please Be Him

and

anything

I mean anything

by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap

oh and Ben--it's a love song about a rat, for god's sake

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Neil Diamond, yes! It's hard to think of anyone who had a more distorted picture of his own importance in pop music than the fatuous, self-impressed Mr Hairplug himself.

But you know who else had some truly awful lyrics? Jim Morrison of the Doors. Now, I love the Lizard King as much as the next druggie, but what do you do with,
"Hello, I love you won't you tell me your name?
Hello, I love you won't you jump in my game?"

All the LSD in the world doesn't make that anything more than sheer doggerel.

And yeah, Everyday Houewife was a puker for sure.

And what about "Stand By Your Man" just being voted C&W's best song ever?

---dr.M.

 

[Angeline]

But you know who else had some truly awful lyrics? Jim Morrison of the Doors. Now, I love the Lizard King as much as the next druggie, but what do you do with,
"Hello, I love you won't you tell me your name?
Hello, I love you won't you jump in my game?"

All the LSD in the world doesn't make that anything more than sheer doggerel.

Thank you, Dr. M! I always felt like the kid at the parade in The Emporer's New Clothes, where he was concerned. Everyone would say he's a great poet and I'd think--huh?

And Stand by Your Man, ugh yes.

 

[dr.bong]

anything by Springsteen or Bon Jovi belongs on the list

The last good singer to come out of Jersy wasSinatra

 

[jubileeslave]

Now on the country level

I hate that song about the color of a dress

please if the man does's like it .. he wouldn't get touchy on the fabric.

the color "I'm looking for something in Red"

 

[dr.bong]

I'm not a country fan

but I have heard that one a few times, and yup it does suck

 

[jubileeslave]

oh wait I have the top oh god what were they thinking song......

Have I told You Lately I love You....

* pukes*

 

[dr.bong]

Actually I used to like that one

It was one of two "Our Songs" with my ex-wife...so I no longer like it...btw the toher one was"Faithfully" by Journey

 

[jubileeslave]

used too.... Ahhhhh I see

of course Disco Duck boggles my mind and Toya loves it...go figure

 

[dr.bong]

and here i thought the only person who liked disco duck was rick dees

 

[cookiejar]

Anything by Bob Dylan...mainly because by the time he finishes a song I'm ready to tear every hair out in my head.

 

[dr.bong]

i mostly agree with you

but i do like rainy day woman

"Everybody must get stoned"

 

[cookiejar]

Re: i mostly agree with you

but i do like rainy day woman

"Everybody must get stoned"

Sorry but that song is what drove me over the edge...lol