Relationship Problems

[Phil333]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost six months and we knew very early on that we were going to have a serious, long term relationship and we do. I have some relationship issues that I need to work out and shes very good about helping but no matter what I try I can't fix my head.

Basically, she has a lot of friends and I don't have that many. I mean, I have friends but I only see a few of my close friends every so often. Hollie (my gf) thinks I haven't found the right group of friends yet, but that is up for debate.

I would have reason to complain if she saw her friends a lot and me barely. But that's the thing. I see her a lot. And I love seeing her. But when I don't get to see her, I just want to see her some more. I knew I wasn't going to see her today because she had a doctors appointment and then was going lingerie shopping with her friend for my birthday (I definitly wasn't complaining about that ). At around 6, she called saying that she was just seeing how I was that she was out to dinner with that friend, her other friend (a guy) and her ex bf because he's friends with the guy and that she would be home late tonight. I'm not jealous of the ex boyfriend at all, I know Hollie would never cheat on me, not in a million years. I'm overpossesive I guess. I never thought of myself as a jealous person but maybe I just never found anyone so great to be jealous of. This is not one of those relationships where I'm infatuated and she's casual. It's not like that at all. We care about each other equally. It's just I'm here bored at home while she is out having a great time. I'm jealous of that and I am jealous of the fun she has with her friends. See here is the deal. I KNOW I shouldn't have these feelings, and I just wan't the best for her. But I get them anyway, even though I try not to.

What to do. What to do.

-Phil

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Of course you wanna be with her.. she rocks your socks.

But it is heathy to have time apart at times in a realtionship I think.

One person from a couple may have a heap more friends than the other. Nothing wrong with that.

Maybe you should take up the Gym or a sport you can go do while she is busy?????

 

[Orwell84]

No offense, but if that is as bad as your problems are, they aren't that bad, trust me. Putting that aside, everyone is different, but I think it is good for people in a relationship to have friends and time outside of the relationship. I think it makes for people who are better rounded. If you are confident that you can trust your GF, then I would spend too much time worrying about it. Good luck.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Basically, I see it this way...if you truly do trust her, chances are your problem is, while she's out doing other things, you want her there mostly because you're not occupied enough. Maybe even bored, and she's important enough to occupy your attention even in her absence.
The thing to consider here is whether or not you have enough friends, not whether or not the're the right group. You can have friends that have nothing to do with your group...hell, all of my friends are outside fo a group. That's fuckin' variety...

 

[Nobody Special]

Don't worry about it phill..... make some time for you and her together some time, dinner and a movie and so on... just a simple date... take her to watch the sun set some night and so on.. and cherrish the time that you have with her... and do rememberable things and have fun

E

 

[Rubyfruit]

How come she didn't invite you to join them? It's one thing if she's out with girlfriends (you don't want to crash that) and another when there are other men there.

 

[sexy-girl]

here is a bit of advice though whatever you do dont let it eat you up inside ... dont let it get worse ... its fine to feel a bit possive but its also fine for her to see her friends now and then

go with her sometimes perhaps like ruby said ... if you do have arguments about it make sure its not when shes about to go out and see her friends ... it'll make you feel worse when shes out ... and her to and you dont want her complaining about it to her friends

anyway dont worry about it to much becauses its natural but try and not let it become a huge issue

 

[Phil333]

Ruby - I'm not exactly sure but I probably wouldn't of really had fun with them, knowing the type of people she was hanging out with.

I just want to get rid of these feelings of jealousy ... even when I've got things to do I feel this way. It's so weird because I couldn't ask for a better girl to communicate how much she cares about me, how good looking she thinks I am, how she loves being with me ... But I still get these stupid feelings.

Argh

 

[sexy-girl]

phil i get jealous too i know what you mean


my girlfriends family is in canada sometimes she needs to see them of course and sometimes i cant go with her ... she went on a camping trip with her sister one time and i felt pretty darn jealous ... so your not weird


i wish i could give you better advice on how to fix it ... just think of it this way the times when shes with her friends she wont be having as much fun as when shes with you next

 

[nasty1]

No offnse, but, do you have balls as small as Raisinets, or, a 4 in. penis? So, if you have a relationship, you CAN'T have sex? THAT'S a problem. As far as your problem, so what? Try to hang with her friends. I know that sounds like bad advice, because, you'll be the only male in an all female bunch. Actually...that doesn't sound THAT bad.

 

[Phil333]

It's not a quote on quote relationship problem .. It's a me problem.

 

[nasty1]

WEll, you gotta try and work that out, then.

 

[Jedi_Outcast]

I learned a long time ago that trying to control what your SO does isn't really worth the effort. She will do what she wants, with your permission, or resenting you the entire time because you don't want her to go. It's not worth it.

Besides she might bring home a new friend

 

[Phil333]

Jedi thats another thing. I don't want to control her. Just get rid of these damn thoughts

 

[Jedi_Outcast]

Doesn't get any easier, you always want to be with them. You want to be the center of thier world. But that isn't always going to be the case. The best you can do is suck it up, share the time you have together, find something else to do.

DON'T tell her about those feelings. It isnt going to get you anywhere, and will make her think about you in a bad light.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Doesn't get any easier, you always want to be with them. You want to be the center of thier world. But that isn't always going to be the case. The best you can do is suck it up, share the time you have together, find something else to do.

DON'T tell her about those feelings. It isnt going to get you anywhere, and will make her think about you in a bad light.

Here, Here!!

 

[fgarvb1]

If i have learned one thing in this life that would be make some freinds that are outside of your relationship with your SO.

Keep a part of your life seperate, for you. Not only is it good for you but a break up makes some people react very strange. Some might treat you like you have the plauge.

I would like to say that i have not been there and done that, but i have.
You need to expand and grow. Get up off of your ass go do something you like. I may not can explain it right but it's for your own good. good freinds are priceless.