Romance vs. Raunch

I am glad I remembered this thread. Using it for some research for a story now. and to post some new discussions?
 
Just saw your most recent post, and looked around a bit. Okay not too much, y'all did a lot of talking back then lol. I wonder if you found the answer to the original question, and what research you are doing now. If I can help in any way I will try. Going to subscribe either way. At least if I don't post I can lurk and enjoy your conversations lol.

Wild
 
Just saw your most recent post, and looked around a bit. Okay not too much, y'all did a lot of talking back then lol. I wonder if you found the answer to the original question, and what research you are doing now. If I can help in any way I will try. Going to subscribe either way. At least if I don't post I can lurk and enjoy your conversations lol.

Wild

Lurking isn't allowed, darlin'. one must participate! we also carried some of the concepts to my newbie thread.
 
Lurking isn't allowed, darlin'. one must participate! we also carried some of the concepts to my newbie thread.

Okay I won't lurk, but there is no way I can catch up on your new thread tonight. I need forever to read all of that. Hopefully tomorrow after work ;)
 
Shall we

Shall we revive this discussion? Has opinion changed? Or perhaps new members care to weigh in?
 
Shall we revive this discussion? Has opinion changed? Or perhaps new members care to weigh in?

Wow.. necroing this thread.

I don’t see why not. Personally, the discussion is a little too binary. The two are not mutually exclusive. What seems to be the issue, as I see it, to which degree of either is desired.

Perhaps a tad controversial, I don’t think someone who leans more one way or the other can be taught to be the other. It won’t be natural, and therefore won’t be as enjoyable.

What I have noticed in myself, is while I was always the gentleman and taught to be, the raunch was in there, it was just dormant. Unfortunately as I wrote in a personal ad, I am now married to someone who only wants the gentleman. And while that was fulfilling for most of the marriage, there is now a side which has been awakened and goes unfulfilled.
 
Wow.. necroing this thread.

I don’t see why not. Personally, the discussion is a little too binary. The two are not mutually exclusive. What seems to be the issue, as I see it, to which degree of either is desired.

Perhaps a tad controversial, I don’t think someone who leans more one way or the other can be taught to be the other. It won’t be natural, and therefore won’t be as enjoyable.

What I have noticed in myself, is while I was always the gentleman and taught to be, the raunch was in there, it was just dormant. Unfortunately as I wrote in a personal ad, I am now married to someone who only wants the gentleman. And while that was fulfilling for most of the marriage, there is now a side which has been awakened and goes unfulfilled.

Good point. And she doesn't have an underlying desire for the raunch?
 
Not that has been expressed. And pretty much said as much when approached with my awakening desires/abilities.

That's a shame but seems to be a very common theme. In my case, all raunchy went away after we married. No more lingerie, no more blindfolding or tying her up, no more sending me nude (or even just sexy) texts, no more toys, no more anal, no more oral. No more sensual play. Now she won't even reply to a flirty text. And she doesn't even shower or shave for days when it's just the two of us. I miss the flirting, feeling desired, and the intimacy.
 
2 cents

Like so many things in the world, basically most things, it's more a spectrum than a black and white thing. You can be raunchy and romantic at the same time. You can absolutely lovingly fuck the hell out of someone.

One can build and lead to the other, a hard, fast encounter that winds down into kissing, cuddling and aftercare. Or you can put out rose petals on the bed and give a full body massage before slapping on the leather shackles and bruising hips with tight grips.

The idea that we have strictly one inclination or the other strikes me as odd. Odd and limiting.

But that's just me.
 
Like so many things in the world, basically most things, it's more a spectrum than a black and white thing. You can be raunchy and romantic at the same time. You can absolutely lovingly fuck the hell out of someone.

One can build and lead to the other, a hard, fast encounter that winds down into kissing, cuddling and aftercare. Or you can put out rose petals on the bed and give a full body massage before slapping on the leather shackles and bruising hips with tight grips.

The idea that we have strictly one inclination or the other strikes me as odd. Odd and limiting.

But that's just me.


Howdy darlin. I agree. I don't understand how someone professes to want both...then decides later (after getting both) that they don't. Or are they lying just to get the guy?
 
Howdy darlin. I agree. I don't understand how someone professes to want both...then decides later (after getting both) that they don't. Or are they lying just to get the guy?

Heya.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, I know that in an LTR some things did shift and change over time. The bloom off the rose so to speak, and that can lead to other issues. By and large I wonder if communication isn't once again at the heart of things. Can we, do we, and do we correctly communicate what we like vs what we want, vs what we need?

We all need something and what the needs can't line up that's the problem. Wants and likes are secondary and usually things we can learn to accommodate but needs are very different.

I need to feel a certain way and need to have it understood that there are things that fullfill me and others that don't. If the things that fullfill me aren't on the table then things will inevitably wither for me on anything else. If my partner needs something I can't provide them and we communicate it we can save each other a lot of time and investment and later resentment or guilt.
 
And it goes both ways. I love the thought of taking a lady out to an elegant event. She in a gown or a black dress. Shortly into the evening, she comes up behind me (or while we are dancing) and whispers in my ear "I'm not wearing any undies".
 
Reading back thru this thread (and wow, forgot how deep we all got) it occurred to me that with all the changes in society now, have things changed?
 
And it goes both ways. I love the thought of taking a lady out to an elegant event. She in a gown or a black dress. Shortly into the evening, she comes up behind me (or while we are dancing) and whispers in my ear "I'm not wearing any undies".
It was a nice dance. we shall do it again
 
Is it possible for a man to be both a gentleman and the "bad boy" that women want him to be? Can there coexist romance and ruanch?
Yes, but it comes with consequences, so be careful what you ask for.

That kind of man are highly sought out by many women, so you have to deal with a high possibility of infidelity. He has options, so he won't accept behavoirs you typically pull, with men less sought out. Also, there is a possibility of violence, if someone disrespects his woman or if his woman disrespects him.
 
Yes, but it comes with consequences, so be careful what you ask for.

That kind of man are highly sought out by many women, so you have to deal with a high possibility of infidelity. He has options, so he won't accept behavoirs you typically pull, with men less sought out. Also, there is a possibility of violence, if someone disrespects his woman or if his woman disrespects him.
Interesting thought @Donotrustanybody . Haven't thought about that much. Not sure about the "highly sought after" part. I certainly agree if someone disrespects my woman, it might get violent. I highly disagree about doing violence to my woman tho. I would just leave if she doesn't respect me.

But then, this is just me. I can't speak for anyone else.
 
Women have never really changed; they just have more opportunities to be heard now! Men who really want to explore with a woman take the time to hear their wants and desires too! I appreciate the men who are not only gentlemen, but are authentically inquisitive and passionate about their partners as well.
 
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