Sadism and Submission?

[catalina_francisco]

I have welcomed the recent openness of some of our Dominant posters in admitting their maschistic desires, or at least a possible curiousity to consider the notion the two can co-exist without meaning they are switch. Soaking in the tub and thinking about a variety of topics relevant to this household at the moment it came to mind that possibly there are submissives/slaves who have sadistic desires or a curiousity about them. I know since his insistence I venture into experimenting with topping and sadism under his guidance, I have begun to realise I do have at least some sadistic tendencies which have been awakened, but which are not related to being switch or a Top/Dominant who misguidedly thought they were a slave.http://www.smilies4you.de/content/liebe/a27.gif

http://www.smilies4you.de/content/boese/b45.gifThe desires fluctuate, and are not fully realised or formed as yet...nor do they come with a desire to dominate as they do with the Domly One. Perhaps it is a morbid curiousity as I am often guilty of having to dissect and analyse everything, though I suspect it is a little more and feeds a part of me that has remained dormant until now.http://www.smilies4you.de/content/boese/b56.gif LOL, I admit I do look at butts now and feel the desire to spank some of them. So has anyone else had similar experiences or feelings while still being submissive? How have you dealt with them? Does it screw with your head at times? Anyone?

Catalinahttp://www.smilies4you.de/content/liebe/b18.gif

 

[kerker_miester]

looking at butts

I have welcomed the recent openness of some of our Dominant posters in admitting their maschistic desires, or at least a possible curiousity to consider the notion the two can co-exist without meaning they are switch. Soaking in the tub and thinking about a variety of topics relevant to this household at the moment it came to mind that possibly there are submissives/slaves who have sadistic desires or a curiousity about them. I know since his insistence I venture into experimenting with topping and sadism under his guidance, I have begun to realise I do have at least some sadistic tendencies which have been awakened, but which are not related to being switch or a Top/Dominant who misguidedly thought they were a slave.http://www.smilies4you.de/content/liebe/a27.gif

http://www.smilies4you.de/content/boese/b45.gifThe desires fluctuate, and are not fully realised or formed as yet...nor do they come with a desire to dominate as they do with the Domly One. Perhaps it is a morbid curiousity as I am often guilty of having to dissect and analyse everything, though I suspect it is a little more and feeds a part of me that has remained dormant until now.http://www.smilies4you.de/content/boese/b56.gif LOL, I admit I do look at butts now and feel the desire to spank some of them. So has anyone else had similar experiences or feelings while still being submissive? How have you dealt with them? Does it screw with your head at times? Anyone?

Catalinahttp://www.smilies4you.de/content/liebe/b18.gif

Though I have never had a desire to submit to anyone the desire to whip butts is still fairly new to me. I have only found my dominant self in the last four years. The first time I spanked her I was terrified that I had hurt her too much. The thing that scared me the most though was how much I enjoyed it. four years ago when I looked at a beautiful woman I thought about how they looked undressed and how they may be in bed. Now I see a beutiful woman and I think she would look good in a collar with nice red marks on her butt *oh thats sooooo sexy and stimulating*

 

[Netzach]

Well, I've found that the best play partners when I want to bottom have been submissive sadists. They tend to be extremely attuned to limits and likes, a great part of the gratification they get from the scene is in pleasing me via hurting me how I want to get hurt, in addition they *tend* not to take everything so damn seriously, so that I have more *fun* bottoming to them.

 

[pandoravampire]

As a fellow over analyser, i think things through far too much really also. Sometimes to my detrement.

Im now a sub, at the beginning, i had to adapt from top to bottom, and that took time. Im seriously happy with being a sub, and get more enjoyment out of this, than i ever have, topping.

But his arse! It really does need to be spanked. It walks around in front of me, and its the one left over 'top' desire i have. I went away with a girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, and we popped into Horse World. (for any ppl in australia, this shop is a must, and you dont pay the bdsm $ for everything either). I saw a whip, beautifully made single tail, all black leather and chrome insertable knob handle. It was sooooo hot, i had to have it. I bought this, in top space. And now what do i do with it? If he were into pain, i know id be allowed to use it, but he's not.

So waste not want not, i get to have it used on me
My desire to whip him, or another, is not sufficiently strong to seek this elsewhere, its just a left over kink from top days.

Some forms of play, where i am the one dishing it out, could be viewed as switching, but its him who has the control, he is the one telling me to do it, and so its still subbing for me.
Because of this, the power exchange does not take place. I simply get no 'top' space going on at all. Were i to be allowed free reign, then id go to bloody town! But would i stop at the end, and submit again. That could be tricky i think.
Being in top space, is my normal day to day way of thinking when apart from him. If its been a tough day, then when i return home, im less than fluid at going into subspace for him. Were i to allow myself to enter this space, whilst doing 'toppy' things to him, i would be concerned it may alter our dynamic of D/s?

I do have a sadistic streak, and just love those little diamonds of criss crossed whip marks on a buttock that 'I' have put there. But would hate to risk what i have to introduce that. As he gets no pleasure from pain, it would seem unlikely that i will ever find out the answer to this. Which is fine. Like i say, its a want, not a need, thus, not that important to have in this relationship.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Though I have never had a desire to submit to anyone the desire to whip butts is still fairly new to me. I have only found my dominant self in the last four years. The first time I spanked her I was terrified that I had hurt her too much. The thing that scared me the most though was how much I enjoyed it. four years ago when I looked at a beautiful woman I thought about how they looked undressed and how they may be in bed. Now I see a beutiful woman and I think she would look good in a collar with nice red marks on her butt *oh thats sooooo sexy and stimulating*

I can identify with the beauty factor of such a vision, though mostly from a slave POV. I am overjoyed when I can be marked beautifully, but unfortunately it takes a lot to get any lasting marks these days..have done well recently though.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well, I've found that the best play partners when I want to bottom have been submissive sadists. They tend to be extremely attuned to limits and likes, a great part of the gratification they get from the scene is in pleasing me via hurting me how I want to get hurt, in addition they *tend* not to take everything so damn seriously, so that I have more *fun* bottoming to them.

LOL, as I recall there was a fair amount of humour in my delivery which I think may have surprised F....he even captured some of it in pics when I was being evil and loving it. He was also impressed with how I tapped into how much was too much and giving support/encouragement throughout. I think it helped to approach it psychologically from a sub/masochist POV initially to gauge what would be required and how best to do it for the enjoyment of all involved, so perhaps it is that sub quality which makes a difference....it certainly helps me keep in the mindset that the other person wants and enjoys this. Either way, it has brought out something I didn't know was there but which he suspected needed utilising....now to see where it leads!

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

As a fellow over analyser, i think things through far too much really also. Sometimes to my detrement.

Im now a sub, at the beginning, i had to adapt from top to bottom, and that took time. Im seriously happy with being a sub, and get more enjoyment out of this, than i ever have, topping.

But his arse! It really does need to be spanked. It walks around in front of me, and its the one left over 'top' desire i have. I went away with a girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, and we popped into Horse World. (for any ppl in australia, this shop is a must, and you dont pay the bdsm $ for everything either). I saw a whip, beautifully made single tail, all black leather and chrome insertable knob handle. It was sooooo hot, i had to have it. I bought this, in top space. And now what do i do with it? If he were into pain, i know id be allowed to use it, but he's not.

So waste not want not, i get to have it used on me
My desire to whip him, or another, is not sufficiently strong to seek this elsewhere, its just a left over kink from top days.

Some forms of play, where i am the one dishing it out, could be viewed as switching, but its him who has the control, he is the one telling me to do it, and so its still subbing for me.
Because of this, the power exchange does not take place. I simply get no 'top' space going on at all. Were i to be allowed free reign, then id go to bloody town! But would i stop at the end, and submit again. That could be tricky i think.
Being in top space, is my normal day to day way of thinking when apart from him. If its been a tough day, then when i return home, im less than fluid at going into subspace for him. Were i to allow myself to enter this space, whilst doing 'toppy' things to him, i would be concerned it may alter our dynamic of D/s?

I do have a sadistic streak, and just love those little diamonds of criss crossed whip marks on a buttock that 'I' have put there. But would hate to risk what i have to introduce that. As he gets no pleasure from pain, it would seem unlikely that i will ever find out the answer to this. Which is fine. Like i say, its a want, not a need, thus, not that important to have in this relationship.

Ah, I remember those stores well and have a nice crop from one of them....need more though!! Not sure I have the desire to dominate or top as purely that, but am developing the sadistic desire quite well. So what made you feel a change was right for you?

Catalina

 

[YinandYang]

Catalina I read this thread with interest, because there is a sadistic streak in me. Mostly it comes out in the way I like to be hurt, kind of sadistic to myself lol. But there are also times when L will ask me to rake my nails down his back. I love to look up at him, and see the pain flash across his eyes. I suppose it may be the fact that my reaction to this, the feelings I get are totally unknown to him. Like a little part that he can't touch. Its like I can think 'ha I have a sadistic streak and you don't know about it'. But most likely he probably does lol.

It reminds me of something funny that happened a few weeks ago, and this would be my sadistic side coming out lol. L was sat astride my thighs, I was on my front and he was using the crop. We had been participating for a while, and I was really getting into it when by accident he whacked himself on his leg really hard. He yelped and immediately climbed off and said 'ok I think you have had enough now' I was trying so hard not to laugh, as I lay there thinking what a wus he was! As he sat there looking at the nice pink stripe on his leg, I was thinking that I would have to initiate the aftercare lol. I kind of enjoyed that feeling

 

[Leolover711]

Well, I've found that the best play partners when I want to bottom have been submissive sadists. They tend to be extremely attuned to limits and likes, a great part of the gratification they get from the scene is in pleasing me via hurting me how I want to get hurt, in addition they *tend* not to take everything so damn seriously, so that I have more *fun* bottoming to them.

Neztach I think you hit the nail on the head when you say "not to take everything so seriously" to Me that is the key for all sex play. Its about having pleasure and fun. Too often people get wrapped up in the drama of labels and expectations. I think it si better to remember to let loose and go with the flow. I'll always remeber a dear friend, long departed, for this exquisite quote, "Too much fun is never enough"

 

[pandoravampire]

Ah, I remember those stores well and have a nice crop from one of them....need more though!! Not sure I have the desire to dominate or top as purely that, but am developing the sadistic desire quite well. So what made you feel a change was right for you?

Catalina

The change for me occured, when i left my last relationship that was a LTR where i was switching a little, but mainly Domme. It was a very painful split, with my daughter abducted to a different state bla bla, messy in other words, but eventually sorted. Once i was back on track, and mentally strong again, i began my search.
Then went through that awful lonely stage where you look, and find empty vacuous ego's with the title of D.
It was actually your response to my thread of how the hell do we wait for 'the one' to come along. Your response was to be honest with what it was i sought, set my sites high and stick to them. I did.
Its easy to find a partner who can dominate your body, but your mind also is what i needed and 6 months later, i found him.
6 months on, and weve moved in together. Now, i am happier and more 'me' than ive ever been before.
Im too old, and jaded to believe these things are forever, but for as long as this lasts, im here to stay. I do believe that the level of communication required for this D/s relationship will help overcome difficulties every relationship faces from time to time.

 

[Her sissy slave]

spanking butts

i know, even though, i am, a submissive male, there are many times i see a well rounded female butt i wish i could get my hands on and spank her..

mmmmmmm

 

[AppleBiter]

I know I have a sadistic streak . . . always have. But, I don't want the control.

 

[LunarKitten]

CP will be the first to tell you I have a huge sadistic streak. I tend to blame it on my mother, who gave me a very dry, sadistic sense of humour - which I seem to have passed onto my own "lil domme".

However, since becoming collared and married to Master, I find it sometimes gets me in hot water, without the slightest trying on my part. Luckily, he is very forgiving and has a dry sense of humour himself, so I don't usually get in trouble. Unfortunately, most people would consider my sadistic streak to be more than a little SAMmy or even topping from the bottom, even if I don't mean it to be. (sometimes I just can keep myself from slapping his ass when he walks by, or tickling him when I think he's getting too serious about something I'm joking with him about.)

 

[catalina_francisco]

However, since becoming collared and married to Master, I find it sometimes gets me in hot water, without the slightest trying on my part. Luckily, he is very forgiving and has a dry sense of humour himself, so I don't usually get in trouble. Unfortunately, most people would consider my sadistic streak to be more than a little SAMmy or even topping from the bottom, even if I don't mean it to be. (sometimes I just can keep myself from slapping his ass when he walks by, or tickling him when I think he's getting too serious about something I'm joking with him about.)

LOL, well was one of the reasons he says he decided to introduce male subs into our play and ordered me to deliver the pain.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Timely bump?