Searching for Gold (closed)

Her heard her ask what next, but he was not convinced that there wasn't still a hint of sarcasm in her voice. He let it slide, because he wanted to build some trust and always being negative wasn't the way to go.

"Ok, how about we do this. We will give Kristen an opportunity to go home and figure out a PT program. I will talk with her later and determine the appropriate dry land program to begin with. Why don't you go into the locker room and get your suit on."

Tyler watched Jennifer go into the locker room to change. He thought about what type of workout he should give her today. Should he challenge her? Should he take it easy on her? Should he let her determine what she should do and at what pace?

A few minutes later Jennifer came out of the locker room. Tyler walked over to her. "You can start out by doing three 400IMs in reverse order for your warm up. Do not be overly concerned with pace right now, but don't give that lazy effort that I witnessed the other day. Give me some swimming proof that you really are committed to your comeback."
 
Jen was surprised at the middle ground that they had suddenly found. It had been a long time since she had found a coach that she had actually respected, but Tyler was quickly growing in her good graces. He wasn’t going to give up and he wasn’t going to take her shit.

She went into the locker room when he told her to get her suit on. She slid into the stretchy material, setting the straps until she was comfortable. Standing in front of the mirror, she pulled on one cap, stuffing her hair beneath the material and smoothing out the bumps. Then she put on her goggles and then a second cap, making herself more arrow dynamic. It felt good to be doing something so familiar, something she’d done a million times before.

A towel around her shoulders and she was ready to enter back into the pool. Tyler walked over to her, laying out her task for the warm up. Don’t be concerned with pace, give a good effort. She wanted to go at the blistering pace she once had, but she knew it would take a long while to build up.

400 IM was one of her favorite events. Butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, freestyle. The order never changed and over that length absolutely anything could happen. Jen stretched out her shoulders, shaking out her muscles before she moved to the block and set her body into position. Tyler was watching her intently, she knew. He wouldn’t comment about form or starts or speed, at least not today. He would comment on whether she gave him the effort he sought. She would make sure that he had no complaints.

Reverse order, she told herself, mentally preparing herself for the task that she had at hand. Free to start, her strongest stroke. With a deep breath to center herself, she started off the block and slid beneath the water.
 
Tyler watched Jen walk toward the pool and get ready for her warm-up. The effort she showed him would tell him a lot about what he could expect from her going forward.

He had a reason for having her do the IM in reverse order. It would not be automatic... she would have to think. Swimmers could do the IM in their sleep... they didn't have to think about the order... it just happened. This way she would have to think about what she was doing, and still give a good effort.

Tyler hoped that she would put out the effort that he expected. He didn't expect world record effort... not yet, but he expected to see Jennifer push herself hard and expend a lot of energy. She better.
 
Jen always felt free under the water, the way that she was weightless as she kicked effortlessly. Then there was the violent moment that she surfaced, her arms stretching before her as she went into the freestyle. Her life was a world of stroke, stroke, breathe, her eyes focusing on the black line beneath her on the bottom of the pool.

Then came the wall, a simple touch with her fingers before she flipped and pushed off. Her muscles felt delicious as they were stretched and her body recognize that it had missed for so many years. All the aches and pains she felt were disappearing as she focused on her form and the perfect breath.

Then came the breaststroke, a focus on the power of her legs which had been diminished over the years. She was still physically strong, her mind knowing just what to do as she focused on the ultimate goal. Her form was sloppy, she knew, that it was something that could be worked on. It was all about the correct order of kicking and stroking and the rest would come naturally.

Then the backstroke, the view of the ceiling above her different from calming blue of the bottom of the pool. She could hear the water rushing past her ears, her arms moving in a familiar rhythm as she pulled herself through the water, mentally counting how long she had before she flipped and turned.

The fly felt amazing, her body gliding over the water as she stayed high on the surface, her shoulders feeling the burn as she pushed her body to limits that she hadn’t been to in a while. As soon as she finished the first rotation, she started again, not taking a break. She wanted to prove to Tyler that she was trying and that she wasn’t a complete waste of time.

When she was done, she clung to the side of the pool, heaving air into her lungs as she looked up towards her coach. Perhaps she was looking for approval, not that she really needed it, but she honestly respected what he would say to her.
 
"You call that proof that you are committed to a comeback. I have seen better efforts out of age group swimmers who had no aspirations of greatness. I told you not to be concerned with pace, but I wanted you to convince me of your convictions. That effort was awful and was not worthy of my time."

Tyler stared down at Jennifer. He was standing right next to the starting block and right above where she was holding onto the wall. He could see something in her eyes.

He wasn't sure if it was frustration, anger, something else, or some combination of emotions, but he was certain that Jennifer did not get the reaction from him that she had expected.

"Jennifer, if you want me to work with you, and that effort you just showed makes me think that you do not, but, if you do, I expect exceptional effort each and every time. No matter what it is I tell you to do, I expect that you are going to do it without question and with the greatest possible effort."

Tyler continued to stare down at her. He knew that Jennifer was not accustomed to being treated this way, and he was not certain that his methods wouldn't backfire on him and she would just quit, but that was a chance he was willing to take. It was going to be his way or no way.
 
Jen stared up at Tyler as he told her that her effort was horrible and not worth his time. She gritted her teeth, a red flush settling across her skin as she felt embarrassed and angry. What did he mean it wasn’t worth his time? She had done her best! She could feel tears welling in her eyes but she refused to cry. She wasn’t some junior who would buckle under the pressure of a coach that wouldn’t be satisfied.

“Again.” She said, pulling her goggles back down over her eyes as she kicked off the wall, wanting to show him that she was wrong.

She ran the exercise again, her muscles screaming at the work as she used her anger to fuel her. Her strokes were working themselves closer to her best, her body moving in a rhythm that it hadn’t in such a long time. She was pissed off and it showed. How dare some little piddly swimmer who couldn’t even make the National Team tell her that she wasn’t good enough!

By the end of another rotation, she really was crying, her face red as tears of anger and frustration filled her goggles. Her form was better but the speed wasn’t there. Maybe he was right. Maybe she didn’t have it in her anymore. She was so confused and it didn’t help anything that he was there to see every step of her humiliation.
 
Tyler watched as Jennifer pushed off the wall and repeated the warmup. He was not going to give up on her, but he wasn't going to tell her that. With swimming, if you didn't give maximum effort, you were not going to get the best possible results. He was going to do whatever he could to get the maximum effort from Jennifer.

Tyler liked the effort that Jennifer was giving on the second-go-round. While she was finishing it up, Tyler found a small white board. He wrote the workout that he wanted Jennifer to do on it, and sit it up against the starting block at the end of the lane that Jennifer was swimming in. Then Tyler went into the office.

He found a vantage point from which he could watch Jennifer without her seeing him. He knew she would be pissed at him when she finished and he wasn't there, but he wasn't worried about that. He wanted to see how she reacted to continual frustration, because before there was going to be a great deal of success there was going to be a great deal of frustration.
 
Jen clung to the wall at the end of her second rotation, her breath coming in a harsh gasping breath as she looked at the white board that Tyler had left with instructions. Had he left the building while she was swimming? Surely not.

It was added insult to injury, the frustration of his words mixed with the disappointment she’d heard in his voice making Jen incredibly angry. She wanted to rage, to yell and scream, to have a drink above all things, but she knew that he was right. He was right to push her and to demand things of her that she never thought possible before.

With a sigh, she read the instructions he’d left and committed it to memory. She would work on the freestyle stroke, get it back to perfection and have her muscles remember what they use to be so good at. She finished catching her breath and then set out at a fast pace, her form sloppy at first before she got into a familiar rhythm.

Every stroke she took four kicks, her head turning to the side with a simply flick of her neck. She had no clue how fast she was going nor did she really care. She was mentally keeping track of her form, the kicking of her legs, the reach of her arms. It felt surprisingly good even if she was still pissed off at Tyler.
 
Tyler watched Jennifer through the office window. He focused on her form and was totally unconcerned with her pacing. Her stroke was sloppy at first, but then improved a little.

He was paying close attention to her form... trying to determine where she needed to work to improve her stroke. He would have her study video of herself swimming in the Olympics to have her figure out for herself what she needed to do.

Tyler would also study the video. It was important for him to see what was different in her stroke from then until now. It would be vital in getting her back to where she was before.

As she neared the end of the workout Tyler walked out of the office and over to the edge of the pool. He was standing at the end of the lane when Jennifer finished. He looked down at her.

"You stroke was sloppy as hell to start out, but it improved as you went along. It is not where it needs to be, and I am sure that you know it. If you are going to go back to the Olympics you are going to have to get your stroke back to where it was at the last Olympics."

He watched Jennifer for a reaction. "I have a video with all of your swims from the Olympic year. I want you to study it. I want you to think about it while you are working out. I want your stroke back where it was. Ok, that is enough for today. Same time tomorrow.... expect a harder workout."
 
Jen was exhausted by the end of her workout and she should have been prepared when she pulled herself to the edge of the pool and Tyler had suddenly reappeared. She clung to the edge of the pool, listening to him tell he that she was sloppy still and needed to improve. It wasn’t anything that she didn’t already know.

She simply looked at him, her features schooled as she took his criticism and listened to him say that he wanted her to watch her swims from three years ago. She simply nodded, telling him that she would see him tomorrow. She watched as he left the pool before she kicked back off the wall and did another three rotations before she finally got out of the water around the same time that the other swimmers were arriving.

Going to the weight room, she got on the stationary bike and rode for a while, watching the news and working up an appetite. On the way home, she’d get the foods outline on Tyler’s diet, cook at home and get some rest. She felt good, her body loose and humming with the adrenaline she’d thought she’d lost so long ago.

With a full belly, she curled up on the sofa in her living room, watching the tape that he’d left and paying special attention to her form along the World Record run. It seemed that the person she was then and the one she was now were two completely different people. It would be a complete struggle to return to form, but she finally had hope after so long.

The next morning, she was at the pool early, already beginning on her stretches as she waited for Tyler to arrive.
 
Tyler went into work and immersed himself in business. He was not going to have as much time outside of work now that he was working with Jennifer, so, he had to be even more productive during his time in the office than he had been before. He was not concerned about that, because he knew that whatever he set his mind to he would succeed at.

He stayed in the office two hours after the last person had left. There was a reason that he was the most successful associate in the office; he outworked everyone else. When he was finished with his last call of the day, he packed his stuff and headed out the door. He had a big night planned..... watching more tape of Jennifer in the past.

He walked into the pool to see Jennifer on the deck stretching. He was impressed that she was there early, but he was not about to let her know. He was not going to give her any reason to feel comfortable. He was going to keep Jennifer on her toes. He did not say hello to her. He simply got right down to business.

"Okay. Today's warmup is going to be a 400 free followed by a 400 back, and then another 400 free. On the frees I want decent pace but focus on your stroke. On the back I want you to bust it. I want a fast pace."
 
“Hello to you too, Coach.” She said as she stretched out her muscles, touching the tips of her toes and loosening up. Her voice still had a slight sarcasm but mostly humor tinted her tone. She was amused that Tyler was trying so hard to not let her get comfortable. He was all business and she appreciated that. Though, she still found herself with the strange idea of getting to know him a little bit better.

When she was stretched, she stood up and stripped from her sweats, taking care to don her caps and goggles before she got set on the blocks. “What time should I beat with the back before you buy me breakfast?”

She turned her head and looked at him with a grin before she pushed off and started her first 400 free. She kept to a decent pace, her form much improved as she focused on the black line on the bottom of the pool. She kicked when she needed to, her arms stretching ahead of her beautifully, and her head kicking to the side in a rhythm as she took a breath.

She felt good about herself as she finished and started on the backstroke. She pushed herself into a punishing pace, her arms stretching and legs kicking towards the goal that she wanted to complete. She had a number in her head that she was searching for, perhaps a bit faster then what Tyler expected, but she wouldn’t accept anything less for herself. She felt good as she completed the final few strokes, taking a moment to gain her breath before she stared on the second 400 free.

By the end of the warm up, she clung to the edge of the pool, looking up at Tyler for confirmation that he was pleased. She knew she felt great, but everything now rested in the hands of her very hard to please coach.
 
"I will tell you what. You break 5 minutes in th e400 back and I will buy you breakfast. However, I get to choose where we go for breakfast." He watched her face to see her reaction... of which she had none.

Tyler liked what he saw of Jennifer's first 400 free. Her form was better than the day before and her pace was actually quicker. He was not sure if Jennifer had picked up the pace on purpose or if it was just a result of the improvement in her form.

When she switched to backstroke she went out like a bat out of hell. He was amazed at how fast she was going, but he did not think that she would be able to maintain it on the back end. Her form was bad, but he wasn't worried about that.... she was following directions.

When she slipped back to the free, Jennifer eased right back into the work at hand. Her focus on form was obvious and Tyler smiled... to himself. He could not take the chance that she would have any way of knowing he was pleased... not yet.

When Jennifer finished she looked to him for confirmation of a job well-done. "You look like you are breathing a little heavy. I guess we should start working on building your lung capacity and get you into shape. I want you to do a 1000 pace followed by a 500 race and then another 1000 pace... no stopping. Just do it."

Then, just before she pushed off the wall Tyler said to Jennifer, "Then we can go out to breakfast."
 
Jen shot Tyler a cocky grin as she pushed off the wall and went through her paces. She was on her game, everything clicking and moving with a simple grace that she’d had since she was in the junior leagues. She was a natural in the water and after the rust had been knocked off, it showed through in stunning color.

She faltered slightly towards the end of the cycle but she kept going, determined to show Tyler that she was in this for the long haul. At the end, she was panting heavily, her muscles presently tingling as she pulled herself from the pool.

“I expect somewhere with egg and bacon.” She told Tyler with a smile as she walked past him to the locker room to get changed.

It was a few moments later when she was sitting in the front seat of Tyler’s car, dressed in her jeans and a sweatshirt as she watched him guide the car through the predawn streets on the way to their breakfast destination. She wondered what was open this early in the morning.

“So, um, why did you quit swimming?” She asked him, breaking the silence in the car to try and make simple conversation.
 
Tyler watched as Jennifer finished her workout. She looked good, but he was not going to allow her to get cocky. It was way too early for her to be overconfident. If that was allowed to happen the training results could be negatively impacted in a severe way.

He watched Jennifer go past him and into the locker room. He noticed that she seemed to be moving better on her leg. Tyler wondered if she had been using the knee as a crutch... an excuse not to give 100 % in training. He would have to address that with PT.

As they got in the car Tyler turned to her. "You want bacon and eggs? I know just the spot." He pulled the car out of the lot.

"I never truly quit swimming. I just gravitated from actually competing to coaching. My Olympic trials experience had a big impact on me mentally. Fortunately, I was able to overcome that, and it has helped my coaching. I am able to help my swimmers address the mental issues that go along with that high level of competition."

He pulled the car into the parking lot of his condo. "You won the challenge, and since I don't know of any good places for breakfast I thought I would make it for you myself. That is, if it is okay with you."
 
Jen listened in silence as Tyler explained how he’d changed from swimming to coaching. She had to admit that the failure he’d experienced certainly gave him a drive that she’d never seen in other coaches. He understood what it felt like to fail and he would do anything to protect his athletes from those same feelings.

Jen looked across the car at him, a sudden emotion rising in her chest. It was strange to feel something like that after so long of numbing her senses with alcohol. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to reassure him that she wasn’t the lame horse that everyone else thought she was. She kept her hand in her lap though, knowing that Tyler would probably much rather see the results in her swimming and not in her words.

When they pulled up outside of a condo, she was surprised. She had expected a restaurant, perhaps a greasy diner, but certainly not his home. Jen looked at him once more and grinned.

“It’s more than okay, Coach.” She said as she unbuckled her seat belt and stepped into her driveway. Her knee was throbbing, but it was a dull ache compared to other days. She could take this kind of pain, she thought as she followed him to the front door and stepped inside as he held it open for her. “Just as long as you don’t try to feed me health food, we’ll be alright.”

His house was warm and clean, certainly welcoming and Jen found herself itching to explore this mysterious man’s space. She wanted to learn more about him and what made him tick.
 
Tyler held the door open for Jennifer, and then followed inside his home. This was not something he would normally do with a swimmer that he was coaching, but he had a method to his madness. He had to earn her trust and he had to keep her off-balance.... all at the same time.

He dropped his keys on a table just inside the door and headed toward the kitchen. "Make yourself at home. I am going to whip something up for you. It won't be health food. You asked for bacon and eggs, so, that is what you get."

He went to the refrigerator and pulled out egg beaters and turkey bacon and went to work preparing breakfast for Jennifer. He looked up periodically to see what she was up to. He was in unfamiliar territory here. He had committed himself so much to his work that he rarely had time to entertain.

When he finished cooking he brought her plate to the table and sat it down. He poured a glass of orange juice for Jennifer and then sat across from her with a cup of coffee. "Enjoy. This is your reward for your best workout so far. Hopefully, it is a sign of things to come."
 
Jen looked around his living room as she heard Tyler cooking in the kitchen. She saw a college degree framed on a wall, photographs of his family and his swimming career. She didn’t see a wife or a girlfriend in any of them, which she found oddly comforting. His book selection made her smile. It was all the old classics and it seemed that his DVDs were much the same. She liked a guy who could appreciate a good old movie.

She came to the to the table when he called her, looking at the eggs and bacon with a grin. “Turkey bacon?” She laughed softly as she dug in. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a big old slab of pork. I think I’ve forgotten what it tastes like.”

She looked at him as he said that this was her reward for a good workout. Well, this was certainly a reward she could get use to. She smiled as he drank his coffee, watching her with that appraising expression that she’d come to appreciate from him. He accepted her as she was and pushed her to be better. It was a welcome change.

“Well, I have to say that you’ve certainly convinced me to try harder. I haven’t had anyone do that since…” She trailed off then, not wanting to say Eric’s name and bring up bad memories. “Well, for a long time.”

She absently rubbed her knee, the joint starting to ache more now that she was sitting down. “Could I get a bag of ice? It’s starting to ache.”
 
Tyler watched Jennifer eat and listened to her talk as he sipped his coffee. He was surprised at how much he enjoyed having her here. It was nice to have an attractive, physically fit woman sitting across the table from him.

"I am glad that I have convinced you to try harder. Hopefully, that will continue into the future as we move forward in an attempt to get you back where you belong. It isn't going to be easy, because all of those crutches that you have picked up are still there. They might be just out of your reach right now, but they are still there."

Tyler watched her face for a reaction. He could tell from her expression that she knew exactly what he was talking about. "If I even think you are considering putting any chemical substances in your body, I am out. I am not going to waste my time on someone who wants to take shortcuts and wants to poison there body. You have a lot of talent in that body, so, if you want to damage it, you will do it on somebody else's watch."

He got up from the table and went to the cabinet and got a large zip-lock bag. Tyler then walked over to the freezer and grabbed ice out of the tray and filled the bag. After closing the freezer he walked over to Jennifer and placed the bag on her knee. "I guess we will have to make an appointment for Kristyn to start working on your knee."
 
As she finished eating, she sat back at the table, watching Tyler as he walked around the kitchen to gather things for an ice pack. When he placed it on her knee, she sighed as she icy cold seeped into her knee. She considered what he said, thinking it over for a moment before she decided that she could confide in him.

“Yeah, you know what it’s like. All that pressure on your shoulders to succeed and some people just buckle under it. People expected nothing less than greatness from me since my parents were medalists.” She watched his face as she began to talk, wondering what he would think of her afterwards.

“I always hated track. I never enjoyed running and I just felt right in the water. I’ve spent my entire career trying to make my father proud but it means nothing to him because it’s not in ‘his’ sport.” She looked down at the table then, a deep sigh issuing from her chest. “I wanted to numb the pain. I wanted to forget. Drugs made me paranoid and jumpy. I high as a kite during Nationals when I false started off the blocks during the 400 IM. People thought it was just my nerves, but I didn’t have the heart to tell anyone that I was on speed.”

“That’s when I started drinking. It made me calm and it evened me out. You know, everything just seemed brighter.” She was quiet for a moment as she thought over the decisions she’d made in her life. “Never during the big competitions though. I needed the edge so I never drank before big races.”

“When I won the first gold medal, my father wasn’t even there. He wasn’t coming to the games until the track events were being run. He would have rather watched my brother come in dead last then watch me achieve my dreams.” There was an intense bitterness in her voice as the words just tumbled out in quick succession. She couldn’t have stopped them if she wanted. “By the time the other two came around, he was there only because the cameras were rolling. It made a good story and good publicity for him.”

“The only one that was there for me was Eric. He understood what it was like. He was a lot like you.” She could still remember that car crash like it was yesterday. They had been drinking, celebrating their engagement when he had taken a turn too fast and his sports car had flipped. She remembered the shocked look on his face when it over turned and then nothing until she woke up weeks later to find him dead. “Hell, I even managed to ruin that.”
 
Tyler listened to Jennifer's story as he sat back across the table from her. He was trying to figure her out. Was she telling him all of this to evoke some sympathy in him? was she telling him this to justify her use of drugs? Was she saying it in an effort to purge and move forward?

"Jennifer, if this is an attempt to get sympathy from me or to rationalize your use of drugs you are miscalculating. You will not get my sympathy... that is what shrinks are for. You will not be able to justify it with me because there is no excuse that is worthy."

He watched her face to see her reaction. He hadn't planned this but it worked out perfectly. Another way to keep her off balance and guessing about what he would do next..... no way for her to get comfortable.

"You have made some small strides here, but we are just getting started. Using drugs are a sign of weakness. You need to be able to overcome weakness with hard work and mental toughness. I know the situation with your fiancee was hard. How could it not be? Because of your injuries you will think about that every day for the rest of your life. Instead of drugs, use that memory as motivation to do something in his honor.... something positive to remember him."
 
“It’s not for sympathy.” She said, her eyes looking towards his as she tried to figure him out. He had moments where he seemed to truly care and then there were times that he was cold as ice. “I’ve never wanted sympathy. I know I fucked myself up and I’ve had to deal with that my entire career.”

She was growing angry, her cheeks growing red as she forced herself to try and calm down. It wouldn’t benefit anyone to become angry now. She looked away from Tyler then, calm and deep breaths slowly making her less and less angry.

“I don’t understand people like you. You want to help people but then you spend most of the time making them feel like shit. Then you have flashes where I can see that you’re not a complete asshole and then you cover it all over again to make me feel like shit again. You’re not this tough, stern guy. You don’t have it in you. So, what are you playing at?”
 
Tyler sat and watched Jennifer as she went on her tirade. He smiled at her as she went off on him. He was getting under her skin and he was taking the focus away from everything else, and focusing Jennifer's anger and emotions on him.

"You don't know anything about me. Don't even think about trying to get in my head. I am so deep in your head that it is driving you crazy. You hate that you have no control. You know that without me you have no chance... zero.... of getting back to where you need to be to make the Olympics. So, don't you dare try to turn this around at me."

Tyler watched Jennifer's response.... or lack thereof. "If you don't like what I am doing, quit. It won't be anything new to you. You need me to get back where you were. You know it. I know it."

Tyler got up from the table, put his coffee cup in the sink and turned and faced Jennifer. "Come on. I will take you back to the pool or home, or wherever else you want to go." With that, Tyler walked out the door and toward his car.
 
Jen stared at Tyler for a long moment, watching the smug smile on his face grow. He knew how to get under her skin but she was not going to let that bother her. If he wanted to make her miserable, she would do her best to do the same for him!

She crossed her arms and watched him as he talked about quitting if she didn’t like what he was doing. She gave him no emotion, her features schooled as he continued to talk about how she needed him to get back to where she was.

“Yeah, you’re right. I do need you to get back to where I was. My car’s still at the gym.” A sarcastic grin crossed her lips as she took the ice pack off her knee and slapped it on the surface of the table. Standing up, she stretched out her sore muscles and looked at Tyler as he walked out of the door and to his car. She followed after him, getting back in the passenger side.

“You can drop the tough guy act, Tyler.” She said as she buckled herself into her seat. “I’m going to train any less because you were nice to me.”
 
Tyler drove back to the pool to drop Jennifer at her car. She was trying hard to pretend like he wasn't having an impact on her, but he knew it wasn't true. He knew that he was getting under her skin and she was trying to push back.

"Jennifer, you are going to train hard because of me. Whether you want to believe it or not.... whether you want to acknowledge it or not..... your attitude has changed because of me."

He pulled up to the front entrance to the pool... not asking Jennifer where her car was. He stopped near the door. He did not put the car into park. He waited for Jennifer to open the door.

"Have a great day. Same time tomorrow. We will add some Physical Therapy into the routine tomorrow. So, be prepared to be sore tomorrow. It will test your ability to stay away from drugs."

Tyler waited until Jennifer was out of the car and just about to close the door, and said, "And, by the way... this is no act. This is me. If you don't like it... tough shit."
 
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