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Guest
Guest
Since this board seems to be so open and honest when discussing topics of sexual nature, I feel I can pose this question here. Thank you in advance to any of you fine people who respond.
Suppose you were dating someone...a really attractive woman who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She's funny, intelligent, bubbly, compassionate, loving and quite possibly everything you've looked for in a mate (or at least seems that way so far). You want to take the relationship to the next level and become sexually involved with her, however, she has continuously backed away each and every time you've attempted.
One evening, while cuddling by the fireplace, you initiate a conversation about becoming intimate. At this point, she seems extremely uncomfortable, and despite reassuring her that you're not going to walk away if she wishes to not engage in a sexual relationship with you yet, she pulls away and has a disturbing look about her. At this point, she cautiously begins opening up to you about her past. You learn that 6 years ago, this woman was raped and that the encounter has left her with a sexually transmitted disease. While her disease is not life-threatening (herpes), it has scarred her emotionally, as well as physically, in a lot of ways.
At this point, you know very little about herpes, other than the fact that if you do become sexually involved with her, you risk infecting yourself with the disease. So my questions are:
1) Do you stop dating this woman in order to protect yourself?
2) If you did stop dating her, would you feel badly about judging her on something she had absolutely no control of?
3) If you wouldn't stop dating her, and used protection to prevent transmitting the disease, would it ever be possible for her to have children (something that's very important to you)?
4) Overall, how would you feel about being confronted with this information? Would you feel led on in any way due to the fact that this was not disclosed to you prior to becoming emotionally involved with your partner? (I believe this could be a situation where the roles were reversed and the guy could be the one disclosing this info to the woman)
I've done some research on the subject (online) but unfortunately, the information I've found doesn't deal with these particular issues. The sites only state the "facts" and don't allow for emotion to factor in on how to handle situations when confronted with them.
At this point, I feel a tad lost, and confused on how I feel about her. I appreciate her honesty, and more importantly, the fact that she did not become sexually involved with me without telling me about it, but a small part of me feels uncomfortable with the fact that I have become so emotionally involved with her, and led to believe that there could be a future here...and now I'm confronted with this information and don't know how to feel. I don't normally consider myself to be a judgemental person, but this is a fairly serious issue and I'm trying to figure out how to digest and deal with it all.
Suppose you were dating someone...a really attractive woman who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. She's funny, intelligent, bubbly, compassionate, loving and quite possibly everything you've looked for in a mate (or at least seems that way so far). You want to take the relationship to the next level and become sexually involved with her, however, she has continuously backed away each and every time you've attempted.
One evening, while cuddling by the fireplace, you initiate a conversation about becoming intimate. At this point, she seems extremely uncomfortable, and despite reassuring her that you're not going to walk away if she wishes to not engage in a sexual relationship with you yet, she pulls away and has a disturbing look about her. At this point, she cautiously begins opening up to you about her past. You learn that 6 years ago, this woman was raped and that the encounter has left her with a sexually transmitted disease. While her disease is not life-threatening (herpes), it has scarred her emotionally, as well as physically, in a lot of ways.
At this point, you know very little about herpes, other than the fact that if you do become sexually involved with her, you risk infecting yourself with the disease. So my questions are:
1) Do you stop dating this woman in order to protect yourself?
2) If you did stop dating her, would you feel badly about judging her on something she had absolutely no control of?
3) If you wouldn't stop dating her, and used protection to prevent transmitting the disease, would it ever be possible for her to have children (something that's very important to you)?
4) Overall, how would you feel about being confronted with this information? Would you feel led on in any way due to the fact that this was not disclosed to you prior to becoming emotionally involved with your partner? (I believe this could be a situation where the roles were reversed and the guy could be the one disclosing this info to the woman)
I've done some research on the subject (online) but unfortunately, the information I've found doesn't deal with these particular issues. The sites only state the "facts" and don't allow for emotion to factor in on how to handle situations when confronted with them.
At this point, I feel a tad lost, and confused on how I feel about her. I appreciate her honesty, and more importantly, the fact that she did not become sexually involved with me without telling me about it, but a small part of me feels uncomfortable with the fact that I have become so emotionally involved with her, and led to believe that there could be a future here...and now I'm confronted with this information and don't know how to feel. I don't normally consider myself to be a judgemental person, but this is a fairly serious issue and I'm trying to figure out how to digest and deal with it all.
