Sex with a co-worker?

[Gendron]

I've never had a relationship at work. Early on in my career I saw several work relationships turn into soap opera horror shows that ruined the careers of any number of people. Bad idea.

 

[alwaysawake]

Going fishing in the office pond is nearly always a bad idea...no matter how tempting. Have been there and had it explode in my face...then you have to work with that person every day in the same office, which is difficult at best. Just my opinion...AA

 

[Guest]

About to jump into the fire

Well, despite what I said earlier, and everyone elses comments...My boss has been flirting with me for many months and we've talked openly about a fling. We've looked at all the risks in the office and at our homes and seem about ready to take the plunge. If it never happens, the rush has been the hights. We seem of one mind on virtually everything despite her being 10 years older. After a big meeting we were the last to leave the office a few nights ago. We hugged for the first time, kissed and just looked at each other like we were nuts. I can honestly say I've never been so wound up. Will fill all you in on the details if they happen. Cross all your fingers for me!

 

[tonitits]

good luck!

Good Luck! I hope everything works out for you. As I said earlier I am having sex with a co worker, and this is not the first. I have had nothing but good results. I think it all depends on if you are discreet and both on same wave length and know what to expect. But be careful as always.

 

[ozraven]

Interesting topic, lots of experts?

I have had 3 relationships with people at work, all worked out fine....... be adult is a good start.

Currently working with the loveliest woman I have ever met, physically and mentally, but even though I think the attraction is probably mutual I would never make a move and fuck her life up.

She is married, and has never expressed dissatifaction with that state, if she ever does I know I have found my soul mate, if she doesn't I still have a wonderful friend.....

I'm fairly sure that a jerk would have a different approach, probably not get anywhere except into a harrasment case, and fuck nothing but his career.....

I think that it's the difference in both approach, and the desired outcome that leads to the positive and negative results listed above.

Not trying to be sanctimonious here, I've just thought too often with the little head in settings outside work to have not learned from my mistake.

If you want a quick fuck, leave her be......or tell her thats all you want beforehand.

Have fun, I am off the soapbox now!

 

[aramera]

Do Your Own Thing

From what I have seen of work relationships, There always seems to be a looser.

Women Keep your legs XXXXXXed at work.

Men Keep your Fly ZIIIIIIIIIped up.

Both keep your HAAAAAAAAds to your-self.

See Ya.

 

[huskie]

Re: HEY - Can be very Erotic

My warnings (see reply supra.) are just that, warnings! Sex at work can be a real turn on. Who has experiances that they can share?

me. me. me. She want;s me and I want her....... thats something I lack totaly in my marraige. Shes so diffrent. It's not going to happen but GOD do we talk and OH MY GOD DO I FANTASIZES!!!!

She almost groke it off with me this morning... but I realed her back in. Shes all I think about.. I suck I know but god damn it!!! I'm tired of being married and sleeping alone and not being wanted the same way back.

Fuck her! Fuck my wife, damn it! the bitch. Hell any other guy would have left by now........ I think?

 

[Guest]

Ready, set, go!!

Met with my lover to be today after work. Planning every possible angle to get a day away. The eroticism is exquisite and both of us had to get away as hot to trot as ever before. What a thrill. Next week we'll be at it and see what happens from there. THe adrenalin makes sleeping at night impossible. Never been so aroused in all my life, just from the intimacy involved in the planning. Yet we are sooo very aware of the dangers for our marriages, our work situation and our friendship. Where did it change? Anyone have to look at that question? Where did the line get crossed, at the first touch, hug, kiss? Or some other moment when you knew?

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

Re: Ready, set, go!!

Met with my lover to be today after work. Planning every possible angle to get a day away. The eroticism is exquisite and both of us had to get away as hot to trot as ever before. What a thrill. Next week we'll be at it and see what happens from there. THe adrenalin makes sleeping at night impossible. Never been so aroused in all my life, just from the intimacy involved in the planning. Yet we are sooo very aware of the dangers for our marriages, our work situation and our friendship. Where did it change? Anyone have to look at that question? Where did the line get crossed, at the first touch, hug, kiss? Or some other moment when you knew?

Sounds like dangerous grounds to me... be very careful, one slip and you could totally fuck up!

 

[Guest]

SEX WITH CO-WORKER

I THINKING SEX WITH A CO-WORKER CAN WORK,PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IT IS GREAT

 

[Tibxo]

Can be very embarrassing.

I asked this girl out once who turned me down and for a week, it was pretty embarrassing for the both of us despite being friends beforehand (we were both very young at the time). The good news that we got over it and stayed friends until she left and got married (strangely enough to another guy that also worked with us).

As far as getting involved with someone now, there are only two women at the company I work at I find attractive but they are both married and one of them is the MD's wife.

 

[aramera]

Are these people living in a communal work place and not getting to see any others of the opposite sex.

"Caution ".

Affection is a noble quality ;
It leads to generosity and jollity,
But it also leads to breach of promise
If you go round lavishing it on red-hot momise. Ogden Nash.

Too many people poke the fire,
Too many have the desire.
Many of them start to roam,
The horny shits should stay at home !!. Me

See Ya

 

[ozraven]

*bump*

Let's hear some experiences, not sermons?

 

[paulo1556]

They're off and running

Well I've been occupied so its been hard to write LOL. Have had a number of encounters with my boss and all have been fantastic. She must be the horniest woman of my experiences. We've tried things I never thought I would do more than fantasize about and promises of much more to come. Our first "date" was a get away to a swanky hotel. After a couple of hours of hot screwing we had a luscious lunch then returned to the suite for some sweet times indeed. Another several hours and we were both raw. Having to go to our respective spouses, we had to leave the hotel for the night, but returned the next AM before noon checkout. Last week, during a conference break, we went for a ride and stopped at a local state park and had wonderful oral sex in the car.
We've been managing to keep it all under wraps at the office with no questions asked. As we have always been very intensely involved at work, it appears as, well, business as usual. More soon, I can only hope.
In addition to the intense physical sex, we've been able to share fantasies that neither of us would tell our spouses about as we know what the reactions would be. It is very freeing and lots of fun too. The best part though for each of us has been that this expression of another aspect of ourselves has led to greater involvement and appreciation of our marriages and home lives. Anyone else have this experience?

 

[ozraven]

Good on you Paulo, go for it my freind...... life is too short to be boring and safe........

Most of the posts on this topic seem to presume that sex can only be a lust thing, and that all lust at work is a bad thing, sure if you want to be an immature little fuck you can totally destroy careers freindships and sometimes even lives......... BUT

In what other sphere of life do you get to know a so much about a person before you even consider a relationship, then when you spend 8 to 10 hours a day with them?

I am 38 years old, I have more than a handful of relationships and lovers, today, I had the best day of my life......today I made love to my best friend, my PA. We didn't "fuck", it wasn't dirty or sordid, it was a truly mind blowing emotional and physical experience....... she sent me an e-mail a couple of hours ago saying basically the same thing..... we know how we feel about each other, we have spent 4 years getting to know each other... that couldn't have happened as easily anywhere but work.

Had we listened to some of the mongerers of doom that frequent this thread we would have both missed something truly extraordinary. Tomorow we will still work together like adults, we will still have a deep mutual respect for each other, in short, we will only be richer for the experience.

This woman is a living breathing angel, I have touched heaven, if I can't live there I will always be richer for knowing I have seen it and touche dit, why would you not take the chance?

Just gutless?

Let's show some cahones, and live life like it's there to be experienced and enjoyed, not simply a risk free boring series of safe zones....

Boy, I have raved on, sorry about that, but seriously, in life, isn't it better to go down in a blaze of glory, than just turn up be an oxygen thief?!

 

[Ladybird]

Ozraven that was a lovely post, thank you. You're obviously very touched by todays events, and you wrote of them beautifully.

This thread has focused on sex with a co-worker. You have shown us love and romance with a co-worker.. something very different.

 

[paulo1556]

The emotional intensity of working with someone and really being in touch psychologically makes a physical realtionship much more special. My new lover and I have had 2+ years of working on every aspect of our organization including many crisis. This knowing her before we became physical makes the sexual connection truely beautiful. We recognize the limits of what can be sexually and manage our work time together with remarkable stealth. I think the previous respect and experiences makes that almost inevitable. I agree about all the nay sayers. They are probably correct about the risks, but this has more to do with knowing yourself and the person you are getting involved with. Look carefully before you jump, but if it really seems safe, why not. Thank you both for story as well.

 

[ozraven]

Ozraven that was a lovely post, thank you. You're obviously very touched by todays events, and you wrote of them beautifully.

This thread has focused on sex with a co-worker. You have shown us love and romance with a co-worker.. something very different.

Thanks Ladybird, as my first official welcomer to this site a month or so ago, I appreciate your comment on this ..... It means a lot to me.

"Every man dies, but not every man truly lives" - Braveheart.

I know where I would rather fit in.........

I think sex with anyone is just that, Paolo you are so right, knowing someone intmately, before you know them intimately means you go in eyes wide open and without any rose coloured glasses.......

My lady has just read the post I made, although I was a little "pissy" at the time and forgot she would, today I though "fuck it: and directed her to it........She concurs with what I wrote.....What more needs to be said?

 

[paulo1556]

To follow upon my previous submissions (lol), the work affair is on-going and going well I might say. Time together has to be limited but a few minutes here and there are incredibly exciting. We're off to a 4 day conference soon and have been planning intensely. We are able to tell each other things that we have been unsuccessful talking to spouses about including sexual fantasies. We seem to have very similar fantasies and plan to play them out during our upcoming trip...hoping we dont' fall! Anyway, I'm more and more convinced that this can be done successfully if you are intellegent and sensitive to your environment at work and at home. Over time it gets easier, as long as you are careful not to get overconfident and therefore careless.

 

[Ladybird]

Paulo, all the best for your 'adventure'. I hope it goes well for you.

Do you think you can sustain this relationship without becoming too emotionally involved as well?

I'm not asking that in a judgemental way, but out of interest. I've never had a work based affair, but have been sorely tempted.

 

[porphry]

Porphry Prohibition #1:

Don't date your co-workers.

(works with 3 other women and a dog)

 

[paulo1556]

Ladybird.
I really don't know, but I think the answer is not simple. Yes, I think it can very intense emotionally and yet not compromise our respective marriages. We have both been very clear about our expectations and limits. We understand that our families are our real lives. That said, we were already very emotionally connected, read involved, before we started having sex together. Both being a bit older (40's) and having seen lots of what can go wrong in healthy and unhealthy marriages, I think our eyes are open. We'll see. Thanx for your question. It helps to think of all the issues and the more eyes and ears the better.
As for Porphry's prohibition, I would agree but obviously have chosen another route. There have been many nay-sayers out there, but many supporters. I guess everyone's reactions are valid for them. Time will ultimately determine the wisdom or foolishness of my actions. But again, I go into this with eyes open and therefore hope to mediate against the worst of possible outcomes.

 

[Ladybird]

Paulo I thank you for your frankness.

I'm in my 40's too.. the later half unfortunately! About three years ago my then hubby and I swapped partners with some very good friends of ours. We'd known them for about 10 yrs.

Our rules were very similar to yours. Our marriages were most important and had to remain so. The first hint that there was a problem and the 'arrangement' was off.

My partner and I had a great time. We were both in it for the fun and the sex, as it was intended to be. Over time though we could both see my hubby and his wife becoming close to one another. This was something that wasn't meant to happen.

I then called the whole thing off, but they continued to see each other on the quiet for some time. I caught them and their affair then ended.

The sad thing is that for three months of mostly exciting sex, we lost our friends. Our friendship suffered in a way that couldn't be repaired.

And we were all in our 40's Paulo.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound like the Grim Reaper. All I'm saying is that maturity plays no part when emotions such as these are being played.

 

[paulo1556]

Ladybird,
Your story is a sad one indeed, and I will take it to heart. I hope I do not sound full of hubris, as that is not at all where I am at. My lover is some years older than me and in an odd way, the sex is not the key. We have been psychologically bound for some time and sex was probably inevitable. We are acutely aware of the intimacy and its pull and necessity to keep our boundaries. Yet, we also are aware of the desires to be together and the need to regulate those urges. Working together interestingly has kept us apart. We must get the work done, and keep up appearances. Fun, challanging, risky...all of the above. I will try to remember your words and encourage you to send more of them. Help keep me honest with myself!

 

[Ladybird]

Paulo... you have shown yourself to be a wise and intelligent man.

I salute you, and send my support and best wishes.

I hope all goes well for you and your lady, and your relationship is a long and happy one.