Single parents chime in

[sgbtgb]

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[Size13]

Kudos to you sir... Not an easy task...

 

[sgbtgb]

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[call_me_Melody]

It isn't necessarily a matter of having the "guts" to do it. Life, circumstance, reality often create a world where you become the sole provider & caregiver for your children.
Responsible, caring, loving adults step in and do what needs to be done.

And I disagree with the "it's not as hard as people think it is" It can be brutal, it can awful and it can be heartbreaking.
But they are always worth it.

 

[cowslinger64]

I was a single dad for many years. I took custody of my son and daughter when I booted my wife out of the house. they're grown and gone now.

It was tough at times, dealing with the divorce while raising them really was difficult. But we made it. I had to learn to do many things I never had to before. I can cook, do my laundry correctly, and I am fanatical about a clean house. So, I had to learn, and did.


I hand it to anyone that can do what I had to do...

 

[Starr_girl]

It isn't necessarily a matter of having the "guts" to do it. Life, circumstance, reality often create a world where you become the sole provider & caregiver for your children.
Responsible, caring, loving adults step in and do what needs to be done.

And I disagree with the "it's not as hard as people think it is" It can be brutal, it can awful and it can be heartbreaking.
But they are always worth it.

Melody I couldn't agree with you more. Beautifully said. This isn't the way I planned things would look like with my children... But it's where we are. I can't change the the past or the choices of another person, however, I can only endeavor to be the best, albeit still imperfect, parent I can be. Yes sometimes it is easy, but the tough parts seem extra hard, as you said, they can be brutal. But every single moment is worth it. They are a blessing and a joy.

 

[call_me_Melody]

Melody I couldn't agree with you more. Beautifully said. This isn't the way I planned things would look like with my children... But it's where we are. I can't change the the past or the choices of another person, however, I can only endeavor to be the best, albeit still imperfect, parent I can be. Yes sometimes it is easy, but the tough parts seem extra hard, as you said, they can be brutal. But every single moment is worth it. They are a blessing and a joy.

Thanks. This was one of those weekends that they missed their dad. I can't fix that. Holidays suck... but we do ok.
That being said, they told me they had the best weekend they've had in a LONG time.

 

[cf23430]

Single Dad here. I really dont think about thigns too much. Too many things to do and take care of. If I give myself the moment to think about it then perhaps I would bemoan some of the stuff that you ladies have talked about. But we stay pretty busy. Both of my kids are very good athletes and they play lots of sports...I think that helps out a lot...as far as keeping there minds off the bad things.....

 

[Starr_girl]

Thanks. This was one of those weekends that they missed their dad. I can't fix that. Holidays suck... but we do ok.
That being said, they told me they had the best weekend they've had in a LONG time.

My kids are used to holidays without their dad. In fact, we get through the holidays without even a mention of him now. Its gotten easier... and its much easier on my youngest. My oldest says he doesn't care anymore. Deep down I know he does. And I leave the door open to talk about it, give a little knock on it now and then to let him talk as he needs, but we don't dwell on the negative.

Single Dad here. I really dont think about thigns too much. Too many things to do and take care of. If I give myself the moment to think about it then perhaps I would bemoan some of the stuff that you ladies have talked about. But we stay pretty busy. Both of my kids are very good athletes and they play lots of sports...I think that helps out a lot...as far as keeping there minds off the bad things.....

I know what you mean! We lead extremely busy lives. Although I let my children be children, we have had to learn to work as a team. I am lucky to have a good support system with other members of my family and my kids have plenty of love and stability in their lives. And most important, we don't dwell on the past. The past doesn't have to define us...I want my kids living today to the fullest and making their future what they want it to be. If you continually looking back at what you can't change, you miss what is right in front of you today.

 

[cf23430]

I know what you mean! We lead extremely busy lives. Although I let my children be children, we have had to learn to work as a team. I am lucky to have a good support system with other members of my family and my kids have plenty of love and stability in their lives. And most important, we don't dwell on the past. The past doesn't have to define us...I want my kids living today to the fullest and making their future what they want it to be. If you continually looking back at what you can't change, you miss what is right in front of you today. [/QUOTE]

Very well said......living in the moment and planning for the future takes up enough time and energy.....the past is just wasted motion and energy.....love yoru thinking....

 

[cowslinger64]

Thanks. This was one of those weekends that they missed their dad. I can't fix that. Holidays suck... but we do ok.
That being said, they told me they had the best weekend they've had in a LONG time.

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Thats awesome...keep plugging away. You can do it.

I watched my wife and her boyfriend drive away on Christmas day, with our kids, just a couple months after she left. I spent that day alone...I survived that...and you can handle yours too it just takes time.

Kudos to ya.

 

[sgbtgb]

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[Starr_girl]

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Thats awesome...keep plugging away. You can do it.

I watched my wife and her boyfriend drive away on Christmas day, with our kids, just a couple months after she left. I spent that day alone...I survived that...and you can handle yours too it just takes time.

Kudos to ya.

that would be crushing. I can't imagine spending a holiday or even the every days with out my children in the same house. I just pictured that scenario you described and it felt like punch in the gut.

Yes Melody, I agree... just take it one day at a time...and you're obviously a great mom. You're kids are lucky to have you.

 

[cf23430]

starr.....i am sure your great too.....

 

[Roxanne_Smith69]

It isn't necessarily a matter of having the "guts" to do it. Life, circumstance, reality often create a world where you become the sole provider & caregiver for your children.
Responsible, caring, loving adults step in and do what needs to be done.

And I disagree with the "it's not as hard as people think it is" It can be brutal, it can awful and it can be heartbreaking.
But they are always worth it.

Life, circumstances -- absolutely. I never planned on being a single mom but my husband died unexpectedly over 3 years ago. My daughter was only 7 when he died.

Thankfully she is a well-adjusted, *happy* child, for which I give thanks every day. But it is still hard ... I am everything for her and the responsibility is enormous. It's draining and often frustrating doing it alone.

But you are absolutely right -- she is always worth it.

Rox

 

[Starr_girl]

starr.....i am sure your great too.....

Thank you

 

[Starr_girl]

Life, circumstances -- absolutely. I never planned on being a single mom but my husband died unexpectedly over 3 years ago. My daughter was only 7 when he died.

Thankfully she is a well-adjusted, *happy* child, for which I give thanks every day. But it is still hard ... I am everything for her and the responsibility is enormous. It's draining and often frustrating doing it alone.

But you are absolutely right -- she is always worth it.

Rox

Yes sometimes, especially when things are so busy, or emotionally taxing... a person can feel....weary... under that load. Thats when it really helps me to have that support system... friends and family to encourage or say... "can i...?" "let me...". It helps to have someone come along side you and while they can't carry my responsibilities, giving me a little extra wind in my sails, a chance to recharge even if for an hour, is always a welcomed treat.

 

[cf23430]

Yes sometimes, especially when things are so busy, or emotionally taxing... a person can feel....weary... under that load. Thats when it really helps me to have that support system... friends and family to encourage or say... "can i...?" "let me...". It helps to have someone come along side you and while they can't carry my responsibilities, giving me a little extra wind in my sails, a chance to recharge even if for an hour, is always a welcomed treat.

I agree with the needed help every now and then recharging your sails. However that happens on rare occasion to me. I live a long way from my family, by choice, this is where the kids have called home for such a long time. They have friends, ball....its a comfort thing. So I do the best that I can, its all you can do.

 

[cowslinger64]

that would be crushing. I can't imagine spending a holiday or even the every days with out my children in the same house. I just pictured that scenario you described and it felt like punch in the gut.

Yes Melody, I agree... just take it one day at a time...and you're obviously a great mom. You're kids are lucky to have you.

===========================

It was tough...I thought I was a strong person at the time, but that broke me for a bit. Of course, having custody of the kids meant I wasn't allowed to fall apart, drink myself to death or do drugs...but I was emotional about it for a long time.

It's been 17 years, so I can laugh about it now, but it wasn't funny at all then, thats for sure.


I tell people now that I was married for 11 years, but she was only married for 6...I found out after that she'd been skanking on me for a long time while I worked 90 hour weeks..

Ah well, as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.


Time heals all wounds..