Some advice please

[Evilkitten]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .

 

[Queersetti]

.........

 

[October46]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .

Do yourself a favor, get together with your wife and be honest with her! Tell her how you feel and what your needs are; most importantly don't hold anything back!

 

[parodyluvr75]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .

Tell her how you feel, if she cares she'll meet you halfway. If she doesn't, you've got bigger problems than no sex.

 

[girlsmiley]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .

How does your wife feel about all of this?

 

[Noor]

Stress and exhaustion can kill sexual intimacy.

A short tempered remote stressed out spouse is not usually the ideal person to have sex with, add in a 5 yr old child and maybe a job, money issues...

Part of sex is biological and if things are not good for procreation, it can shut right down.

 

[Skiddles2014]

Do yourself a favor, get together with your wife and be honest with her! Tell her how you feel and what your needs are; most importantly don't hold anything back!

Tell him to jerk off in his daughter's panties like you did.

 

[Noor]

Hi,

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .

Two questions:
1) How does your past incestual relationship colour your opinion?
2) Why is it proving to be more of a challenge? Have you already lined up your next lover?

Some would say now is the time to see if that moral compass really works.

You can't fling a cat around here without hit someone who thought sex was the most important part of a relationship and once they were out of it found themselves sexless and alone.

I am an introvert, I understand shutting down and becoming remote. It takes a huge effort not to be that at times, but it only makes things worse, and it is not good for your child.

I would talk to a counselor of some sort about this, you have complex issues which are internal that is probably affecting your relationship.

 

[pointless]

i love the freudian slip about challenging probing at the end. it really makes it all worth it.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

A spectacular bug might be worth something.

 

[bronzeage]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .

I think the real problem here is that 2 years before your daughter was born, you came to Lit and chose the user name, Evilkitten."

What the fuck were you thinking? That's the name someone chooses when they want to chat with college freshmen who will do anything if they think they are talking to a girl.

Figure that one out before you try to fix this problem with your wife.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I think the real problem here is that 2 years before your daughter was born, you came to Lit and chose the user name, Evilkitten."

What the fuck were you thinking? That's the name someone chooses when they want to chat with college freshmen who will do anything if they think they are talking to a girl.

Figure that one out before you try to fix this problem with your wife.

I agree. I expected this to be a gal. Not saying a guy can't have a name like "Evilkitten" if he wanna, but…umm…it ain't exactly conjuring up a hard-hitting, virile image.

In light of the circumstances, a more macho, more forward, more confident moniker would've gone a longer way. Even if it's something cheesy and cornball, like "StarLord69."

That said, I think a change in diet might help, too. Eat some more spicy, hearty, yang-type foods that'll stimulate ya and make you horny like a mad rabbit. That usually works.

 

[eyer]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .

Are you anywhere close to a mental breakdown?

Perhaps you and wanker queen can start a LITGB support group and entertain the rest of us in real time as your weak psyches inevitably make their ways down the drain...

 

[Mockingjay]

http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/119/c/1/computer_reaction_face_at_night_by_enophano-d4xzuu9.png

 

[Eastcoast1956]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .[/ I am in a situation where I cheated for many years and was caught. I loved to have sex with my husband but his social compass became very scewed. Even before he came home from the military with a diagnosis of exhaustive paranoia, they call it PTSD now.
He started not to compromise any position just out of the goodness of his heart. His father felt if there was something he wanted at home then he would use the senority rights he built up between military leave and the time he had before the military to just take shifts, jobs, refuse overtime and holidays. just to be able to have a llife at home that did not involve working around the house or sleeping. He did not have children yet. and there were people his father and others felt needed to be home with their kids instead of working second shift 12 hours a day. His mother and father when I asked when I was going to have a chance at children always said there is always tomorrow. That day never came for me and me husband and it became a habit to refuse sex to keep him from interfering in other peoples life. I started cheating because he was never home at night. when he retired his timekeeping department said minus his military leave my husband had less than a day off every 4 years. He never had a christmas or thanksgiving off I remember his father taking me to the gate at work to give him a couple off sandwiches and he would take them and just trudge back to his job. his average day worked out as just over 13 hours over the time he was employed.
Yet still his father yells he is an irresponsible man. Last year my husband decided I owed him 31 years of back sex when I was to go out to a political fund raiser with a friend of his father. I did not get to go I was forced into having sex. my husband was slapped by his father and earned a backhand in response. My husbands moral compass is way off to. if someone hurts or attacks him even in jest or to humiliate my husband retaliates with any force he can muster. He has hurt several people very bad and got off using the Castle doctrine.
I am sorry to unload but I sit here scared that another man might try and get over on my husband.
He is very ill but will never submit again, MRSA in his spine has killed his imune system, he has showed just how strong willed he is, A man that was never supposed to get out of a wheel chair again. is now walking without much assistance even from a cane. he still has no feeling from his hips down except pins and needles. He has wanted to die for the last six months. there is never a time without pain, He won't use painkillers because he says coming off of them is worse than the pain they stop.
Just remember if someone says there is always tomorrow there might not be, not that you will die but things that are worse than dying. Watching other people have and participate in life and you can't is one.
He is very sick now

 

[Eastcoast1956]

Hi,
I am sure some of you are in the same or a similar position.

We have been together 20 years in Oct. Our sex life was never spectacular bug now it is non existent. We have a 5 yr old daughter.

I love my wife but the lack of intimacy is becoming a big deal.

Work is hard (but not in the "good" hard way). I find that I am working long hours, trying to meditate - without the success I had previously. I am becoming more,short tempered but what is probably worse is that I realise this so try to internalise it and therefore become more remote.

So basically I become even more introverted and do not see a way out right now. To compound matters I was subject to an incestual relationship as a child which no doubt colours my own opinions , although I no longer blame the person at the time.

I have a much greater sex drive than my wife but my moral compass keeps me from straying. However, it is probing to be more of a challenge .[/ I am in a situation where I cheated for many years and was caught. I loved to have sex with my husband but his social compass became very scewed. Even before he came home from the military with a diagnosis of exhaustive paranoia, they call it PTSD now.
He started not to compromise any position just out of the goodness of his heart. His father felt if there was something he wanted at home then he would use the senority rights he built up between military leave and the time he had before the military to just take shifts, jobs, refuse overtime and holidays. just to be able to have a llife at home that did not involve working around the house or sleeping. He did not have children yet. and there were people his father and others felt needed to be home with their kids instead of working second shift 12 hours a day. His mother and father when I asked when I was going to have a chance at children always said there is always tomorrow. That day never came for me and me husband and it became a habit to refuse sex to keep him from interfering in other peoples life. I started cheating because he was never home at night. when he retired his timekeeping department said minus his military leave my husband had less than a day off every 4 years. He never had a christmas or thanksgiving off I remember his father taking me to the gate at work to give him a couple off sandwiches and he would take them and just trudge back to his job. his average day worked out as just over 13 hours over the time he was employed.
Yet still his father yells he is an irresponsible man. Last year my husband decided I owed him 31 years of back sex when I was to go out to a political fund raiser with a friend of his father. I did not get to go I was forced into having sex. my husband was slapped by his father and earned a backhand in response. My husbands moral compass is way off to. if someone hurts or attacks him even in jest or to humiliate my husband retaliates with any force he can muster. He has hurt several people very bad and got off using the Castle doctrine.
I am sorry to unload but I sit here scared that another man might try and get over on my husband.
He is very ill but will never submit again, MRSA in his spine has killed his imune system, he has showed just how strong willed he is, A man that was never supposed to get out of a wheel chair again. is now walking without much assistance even from a cane. he still has no feeling from his hips down except pins and needles. He has wanted to die for the last six months. there is never a time without pain, He won't use painkillers because he says coming off of them is worse than the pain they stop.
Just remember if someone says there is always tomorrow there might not be, not that you will die but things that are worse than dying. Watching other people have and participate in life and you can't is one.
He is very sick now the MRSA morphed into Leukimia He had a bone marrow transplant five weeks ago. Hi weight has gone back up from 95 lbs to 110 there might be hope for him, I just don't think he cares any longer. He has only known pain denial, work, betrayal and always being told he did not matter, in the world. He actually believes this now. I guess if you are force feed this idea long enough you lose interest in living when others get to.

 

[pointless]

we get it. you're stupid and annoying. fuck off and die already.

 

[girlsmiley]

I am in a situation where I cheated for many years and was caught. I loved to have sex with my husband but his social compass became very scewed. Even before he came home from the military with a diagnosis of exhaustive paranoia, they call it PTSD now.
He started not to compromise any position just out of the goodness of his heart. His father felt if there was something he wanted at home then he would use the senority rights he built up between military leave and the time he had before the military to just take shifts, jobs, refuse overtime and holidays. just to be able to have a llife at home that did not involve working around the house or sleeping. He did not have children yet. and there were people his father and others felt needed to be home with their kids instead of working second shift 12 hours a day. His mother and father when I asked when I was going to have a chance at children always said there is always tomorrow. That day never came for me and me husband and it became a habit to refuse sex to keep him from interfering in other peoples life. I started cheating because he was never home at night. when he retired his timekeeping department said minus his military leave my husband had less than a day off every 4 years. He never had a christmas or thanksgiving off I remember his father taking me to the gate at work to give him a couple off sandwiches and he would take them and just trudge back to his job. his average day worked out as just over 13 hours over the time he was employed.
Yet still his father yells he is an irresponsible man. Last year my husband decided I owed him 31 years of back sex when I was to go out to a political fund raiser with a friend of his father. I did not get to go I was forced into having sex. my husband was slapped by his father and earned a backhand in response. My husbands moral compass is way off to. if someone hurts or attacks him even in jest or to humiliate my husband retaliates with any force he can muster. He has hurt several people very bad and got off using the Castle doctrine.
I am sorry to unload but I sit here scared that another man might try and get over on my husband.
He is very ill but will never submit again, MRSA in his spine has killed his imune system, he has showed just how strong willed he is, A man that was never supposed to get out of a wheel chair again. is now walking without much assistance even from a cane. he still has no feeling from his hips down except pins and needles. He has wanted to die for the last six months. there is never a time without pain, He won't use painkillers because he says coming off of them is worse than the pain they stop.
Just remember if someone says there is always tomorrow there might not be, not that you will die but things that are worse than dying. Watching other people have and participate in life and you can't is one.
He is very sick now the MRSA morphed into Leukimia He had a bone marrow transplant five weeks ago. Hi weight has gone back up from 95 lbs to 110 there might be hope for him, I just don't think he cares any longer. He has only known pain denial, work, betrayal and always being told he did not matter, in the world. He actually believes this now. I guess if you are force feed this idea long enough you lose interest in living when others get to.

We didn't fall for this last time, remember?

I'm going to bookmark this thread. That way the next time you show up pretending to be your (probably now ex) wife I can post it again.

Thanks for stopping by.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Find someone that will put up with your shit and then chain them to the bed.