{{{hugs}}}
hang in there. Only you can know if he's deserving of your love, affection, and submission. And if he is then you can work on your relationship together. Just try to stay realistic and safe. Listen to your instincts and if any red lights start flashing make sure to heed the warning. Just remember you deserve the best: to be loved and treasured by your partner. And if he turns out not to be your Mr. Right you still have the rest of your life to find him. Good luck to you. 
The parts I bolded stand out for me as not only classic lines used by those trying to undermine a submissives confidence to get you into bed, and are a tool used to make you feel insecure, foolish, intimidated, and like you might be missing a great opportunity if you let him slip away. IOW, he is not what I would class as a good PYL and yes, IMHO is just trying to get you to have sex. He says nothing to build you up, gain trust, or make you feel comfortable...any slight compliment he gives you is followed by a put down and questioning of your realism, or an ultimatum type statement. A week of communicating is certainly not usually enough to build that trust, especially when he has told you he has other partners...nor does it help you gauge if you are both looking for the same thing in a relationship. It is your decision, but I would give him a miss or at least tread very lightly and slowly which it sounds as if he is not going to give you the chance to do.
Catalina
I wish you the best of luck...
TMS, just a few thoughts...
Is submission something you are exploring for you or for your husband or both? if you could explore together it might be fun
It is actually something that I want to explore, which I think makes it the right reason to do it! Yeah for me! Unfortunately my husband is away for work at the moment & we have pretty bad access to communications (such as e-mail & phone).
Is this 'Master' actually a Dom? With experience? IMHO, from what you've said he doesn't seem to be a good one. A big part of D/s is trust. And communication. You guys aren't communicating and you don't seem to trust him to be there for you. Maybe you should work on those first if he responds to your message.
That's what is really wierd. I did trust him. Not because a sub must trust a master or anything an uniformed as that, but because when I had a bad week he was there for me, when he started to push too hard one night and I asked to stop the on-line scene he did, when I asked him questions about being a sub he answered honestly, now with what I necessarily wanted to hear. He validated my concerns, addressed them & gave me a chance to absorb them before he expected me to have "got over it".... then he was gone!?!
You're being really nice in your wording and you're also putting all the responsibility in his hands. Just be careful! and say what you want. '
I don't want to be the "bigger person"... it's not a case of one upmanship or having the last say. But I do want to be able to look back at my behaviour and know that I acted in a way I can be proud of myself.
Accepting' his decision, well, why is he the one deciding for you? Submission is a gift and you should trust someone completely before giving it. Do you trust him to make decisions for you? Don't be afraid to be assertive. Being submissive does not mean being a doormat or accepting that other people will direct our lives.
I am not going to always be accepting of a Masters decisions. I need to look after myself first. If I allow a Master to harm me, emotionally or physically, then what good am I to him as a sub, and what does that do to me? But in this case I have to accept it. He is not communicating with me, and apart form stalking him, or obsessing over it, the only hting for me to do is accept.
It sounds like it might be helpful to learn and explore submission. Have you had the chance to check out any books or read through the bdsm library here? You don't necessarily need a Dom along to learn and research what's involved and moving to RL should involve forethought and safety considerations
I have just received 3 (!) new books in the mail - SM101, Erotic Surrended & The New Bottoming Book.... and I am an information sponge, reading past threads & all sorts of other things.... I guess that I can get a bit immersed in something that has peaked my interest & want to learn as much as I can as quickly. I like the idea of my whole life being one big learning curve and collecting knowledge until the end of my days.
*HUG* perhaps a kind thought and an internet hug will help in repairing your glass. Seeking happiness in another is tricky. That's a lot of work for them. If you can be happy yourself first and then be incandescently happy with a partner then you'll both be giving and sharing, secure in your own ability and knowing that you are together because you really love/lust each other. Kind thoughts are headed your way right this second.
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Thanks for the Hug. I do agree, no-one can make me happy. I need to be happy in myself so that we can make each other happy. I just know that way I "work" and it's other people that make me really really happy... just the fact that I can help or serve them, or that they are in my life, knowing that I have freinds I can go to is what takes life form it's contentment to yelling "I LOVE MY LIFE" at the top of my lungs. - I'm not saying this right but I think you get the idea.
Now, my biggest issue will be to deal with the hurt & look at what I can learn from it about myself & others, then get over it (slowly). I have a tendency to turn my back on emotional pain & then when I get tired or lonely or hurt again it all comes creaping back out and I end up dealing with issues taht I should have resolved in myself at the time they arose.
THANKS TO EVERONE HERE FOR LISTENING
Yep. Ice cream.
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Thanks for the Hug. I do agree, no-one can make me happy. I need to be happy in myself so that we can make each other happy. I just know that way I "work" and it's other people that make me really really happy... just the fact that I can help or serve them, or that they are in my life, knowing that I have freinds I can go to is what takes life form it's contentment to yelling "I LOVE MY LIFE" at the top of my lungs. - I'm not saying this right but I think you get the idea.
Now, my biggest issue will be to deal with the hurt & look at what I can learn from it about myself & others, then get over it (slowly). I have a tendency to turn my back on emotional pain & then when I get tired or lonely or hurt again it all comes creaping back out and I end up dealing with issues taht I should have resolved in myself at the time they arose.
THANKS TO EVERONE HERE FOR LISTENING
I realized from what you wrote above that I probably came across as saying 'you should be this way' or in other words 'think the way I think' (oops) and I hate doing that (and try not to) because we're all different and have different needs, so if I seemed pushy *wince* I at least hope the questions helped. Friends are very important as are the people who love us. It hurts the worst when they are the ones who goof up or let us down. I'm thinking warm thoughts for you and hope that talking about and thinking it through will help you come to grips with what is happening as opposed to having it bounce back up later. I also agree with what others are saying. It might be good to resolve things with your husband before bringing someone else into the mix. I'm curious and if you don't mind my asking, was your husband the one who brought up submission in the first place or were you? Do either of you have experience with bdsm in the past or is it completely new? In any case I wish you the best of luck and will always have a hug on hand if you're feeling blue. Take care. *HUG* And have a wonderful Easter.
