Telling my wife...

[michael40]

I have a very interesting situation. My wife is an ultra conservative woman when it comes to the bedroom scene. Very vanilla sex life to say the least. She is taking online classes and has a cohort of classmates she talks to on a regular basis. Anyway, she has recently mentioned one particular guy quite a bit over the past month. He lives about 30 minutes away from us and wanted to know if my wife wanted to get together to study. My wife is 36 and he is
24. I had the opportunity to meet the guy last week as we are both coaches and our teams met in a tournament. I told him I had no problem with the two meeting for dinner or studying together as I have done the same thing with classmates in my masters classes. The thought of her going out with a younger guy (even though its for studying purposes) is a turn on for me. I have always wanted my wife to explore that part of her sexualty. How can I tell her that this is a turn on for me and if the opportunity arises for her, to take advantage of the situation? Thanks for any advice.

 

[INeedLove]

I have a very interesting situation. My wife is an ultra conservative woman when it comes to the bedroom scene. Very vanilla sex life to say the least. She is taking online classes and has a cohort of classmates she talks to on a regular basis. Anyway, she has recently mentioned one particular guy quite a bit over the past month. He lives about 30 minutes away from us and wanted to know if my wife wanted to get together to study. My wife is 36 and he is
24. I had the opportunity to meet the guy last week as we are both coaches and our teams met in a tournament. I told him I had no problem with the two meeting for dinner or studying together as I have done the same thing with classmates in my masters classes. The thought of her going out with a younger guy (even though its for studying purposes) is a turn on for me. I have always wanted my wife to explore that part of her sexualty. How can I tell her that this is a turn on for me and if the opportunity arises for her, to take advantage of the situation? Thanks for any advice.

If she is as conservative as you say, this idea would likely make her uncomfortable. It might be better left as fantasy for wanking. Sorry. Just my thoughts, but heck, what do I know? Good luck and best wishes!

 

[DarkRefuge]

Yes I also think you should let things follow their own course. If it does not go the way you want, then it was not meant to be.
But if you see some progress in that direction, then you can give some nudges to speed it up. Until then, waiting should be a better strategy.
Just my opinion, though.

 

[michael40]

Yeah, I think both of you make good points.

 

[Trent_68]

How sure are you that he might be interested in proceeding further? He might have taken your chat as a "warning". Who knows. I'd start by making sure he knows it's ok, and give him some background on your wife... ?

 

[RAddams]

Tell her that you want to hear about all the juicy details if they have sex. Say it in a casual way and wait for her reaction. If her reaction is negative, tell her you were just joking. If she laughs, tell her you are serious and it would be a turn on. If she says nothing, my guess would be that she has already considered doing him and that means you are half way there.

You first need to know if she is into the guy that way. If she is, you can then work on getting her to be open with you about it.

 

[tonyp]

tell the guy

I think you should tell the guy

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think you should tell the guy

I don't think you should "tell the guy." What a stupid idea.

this is not about him, but about her, and about your marriage.

 

[twister947]

Why tell anybody anything at all? Let things develop at their own pace.

 

[LaChica]

IMO, theres nothing to do. When the right moment arises, you would know

 

[SweetErika]

Why tell anybody anything at all? Let things develop at their own pace.

I'm guessing the OP might want to talk to his wife about it so she doesn't feel guilty if she IS attracted to her classmate and/or guilt and her marriage vows don't prevent her from taking steps the OP actually wants her to take.

Anyway, Michael, you might want to mention your fantasy for your wife to explore with other people in a general context. You might introduce it gently by saying you read/heard a lot of men fantasize about their significant others exploring sexually with other people, and then see what she says verbally and body language-wise. If she asks if you've thought about it, you could tell her the truth with a focus on her comfort.

But do realize that while it might be an amazing fantasy for you, any action in reality could be hard on one or both of you and there are a lot of things that need to be considered (safer sex, pregnancy, STIs, guilt, harming your relationship, etc.).

 

[twister947]

I'm guessing the OP might want to talk to his wife about it so she doesn't feel guilty if she IS attracted to her classmate and/or guilt and her marriage vows don't prevent her from taking steps the OP actually wants her to .

You're right. I over reacted. There's a line between sharing a fantasy with a partner, and pressuring or manipulating someone to do something they would not otherwise consider, and that very well may discomfit them.

 

[LordMhoram]

I don't think you should "tell the guy." What a stupid idea.

this is not about him, but about her, and about your marriage.

+1 to all of it.

 

[Reba67]

Also, if they are taking a course together, it might actually be a genuine study group. I've had study groups with guys in them and I wasn't remotely interested in sex with them.

 

[fgarvb1]

I think you should consider the possibilities that could and may already be occurring.

Fantasy is good but you are not driving this bus.

 

[nakdsub]

Sorry but...

If my wife told me she wanted me to date other women I would immediately figure she no longer loved me. I think it's just a natural assumption.
And I sure would lose all respect for her. But that's just me.

 

[more_snow_plz]

If my wife told me she wanted me to date other women I would immediately figure she no longer loved me. I think it's just a natural assumption.
And I sure would lose all respect for her. But that's just me.

No doubt. Michael, hopefully you have flushed this idea down the toilet by now. This idea can only end badly.

 

[PhoebeP]

Playing with fire.

 

[Leon_k]

man what if she ends up liking his dick more than yours?
and then she dumps you?? then gets pregnant by him- just like it happens in most literotica stories ??

Then you wouldn't even the get that rare vanilla sex you get at the moment.
Really you should leave the fantasy to just fantasy.

 

[thirty]

man what if she ends up liking his dick more than yours?
and then she dumps you?? then gets pregnant by him- just like it happens in most literotica stories ??

Then you wouldn't even the get that rare vanilla sex you get at the moment.
Really you should leave the fantasy to just fantasy.

Good questions!

 

[NikkiBastion]

I got one more for you, now that you're all good and paranoid

Telling your wife and then the content that you roll it out there she's all conservative in the bedroom, and then suddenly there's the study partner and you fall right into that and look like an oblivious chump. How sure are you her lack of imagination in *your* bedroom isn't just due to her being bored with you or finding sex with you unimaginative, boring or unappealing...and she's hot little nympho slut in *his* bedroom...and here you are thinking this is all about you and your fantasies and how much it turns you on.

Careful what you wish for, you just might get it

I've seen a LOT of females walk right off into this trap, thinking that other chick is a buddy, loves her like a sister, even encourages them to hang out and the entire time, her b/f or hubby is boning the other girl up one side and down the other while g/f-wife is as clueless as they come.

Not to say that is your case but before I got all turned on about some other guy coming out of the woodwork to "study" and all (see: come see my etchings), I'd make sure that her bringing him up a lot and this invite to get together isn't just them making me (i.e. you) look like a dumbass. I'd spend less time thinking you might get your fantasy fulfilled if you talk her into it and more time paying close attention.

Here's the thing about secrets...we can't keep them...we are compelled to find some way to express it, get it out of us, especially when we're all excited by it, or turned on (see your own post). She starts bringing up this guy more often, and then is receptive to them getting together...could be her way of getting to express it without the drama, just because it feels good to get it out of her.

Heads up

 

[Leon_k]

Envy can be a great aphrodisiac
If I was in your position, I would eat, lick and fuck my wife even more frequently and pay more attention to her, buy her pretty pearls and take her on vacation and dinner out, to make sure she's really satisfied me and don't seek any outlet outside our relationship.

Anyway, she has recently mentioned one particular guy quite a bit over the past month. He lives about 30 minutes away from us and wanted to know if my wife wanted to get together to study.

Now I think your wife instinctively doing that to make you jealous so you do what I would do in above stated paragraph. But you're taking the her hint in totally reverse way.

I don't get it, why so many American men get turned on by the idea of cuckolding, why don't you feel possessive and passionate about your wives?
Even on the biggest free adult-pix site (damn autospam rule prevents me from naming it)
on that site, It's soo hard to find captioned pix that don't have either incest or cuckold or both as its theme.

Sex will last for two minutes (or twenty minutes if you're on viagra) but a day got 24 hours and a year got 365 days. You should take the cognizance of all that guilt and side-issues that will come along while your not fucking.

 

[overthetop27]

I must say that after reading all these responses I am quite surprised at the conservative views on this topic, considering the overall concept of the site. You talk about guilt, why? What crime or terrible wrong doing would be happening? Personally I believe that love is love and sex is sex. I choose to love my wife and thats what I do, I don't associate that with sex since the two to me are not always related. I would still choose to love her if i lost my dick in an unfortunate smelting accident tomorrow, lol.

Oh and leon, twenty minutes on Viagra? wtf, learn to breathe man! I can go for hours ever since I learned how to breathe.

 

[Primalex]

I must say that after reading all these responses I am quite surprised at the conservative views on this topic, considering the overall concept of the site.

I think you don't get the "concept of the site".

Personally I believe that love is love and sex is sex. I choose to love my wife

If you choose to love your wife, I doubt that it is love you are talking about. Maybe you mean "staying together".

 

[OrelP]

You complain about "vanilla" sex? Shit.. I'm still a virgin!