Khadaji2002
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 11, 2005
- Posts
- 794
I feel both sides of this. Neither of my siblings are really talking to my dad these days. And he's disinherited both. I'm the oldest, the blackest of the sheep, and the one my dad learned how to be a parent on. So there are scars from the past that are part of who I am. There's also the knowledge that in many ways he did his best with the tools he had. And the knowledge that he's not going to change at this point. So...I can choose to cut off my past and go forward without him, or I can acknowledge that he is who he is and respect the journey he's on.There was a large separation in ages between me and my siblings. They didn't see the polished father he was to me. They experienced the steel sharpening steel side of him while he was learning to be a dad. When he died, I never cried so much as when they were reliving and disparaging him after the funeral.
I felt sorry for what they went thru. I felt guilty for what I received from him. I felt hatred toward their betrayal. I felt their relief of his death. So, damn, I felt like a stranger towards them. I still do.

