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Quimpossibility said:
Another weird day on Lit :D

For about a month me and another user were co writing erotica together. Dirty stories to get off to, basically. We've been doing it daily and it's been a lot of fun. Unfortuantely that came to an end this morning. I don't really think they have been entirely fair with me, and it's been a rather one sided "please me" primialry affair, which I was largely ok with. But on two occasions they have used the N word. I wrote a black (i'm not) character for their 'bbc' fantasy. Now taht in and of itself may be racist, if so mea culpa. I let the first instance slide, but the second time I said "can we not". I think my partner got bent out of shape by it but refused to say so, saying "well black guys laugh about it/use it themselves" which is a pretty weak excuse IMO. Persaonlly i don't think there is any good context to use that word, especially between strangers.

i don't really think there's any coming back from this. They've kind of made their mind up evne though I don't think they are being entirely honest. In fact they said my reaction was, bascially, over sensitive. It's the most racist word in the English language, it only exists to hurt. I know PoC use it themselves, but many also don't like that. I think it's crazy to assume that anyone, a writing partner or whowever (we're both white) would or even should be ok using that word. I certainly wouldn't use it.
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They showed their true colors, and now you know to stay away.

Lit, “ relationships“ can sometimes be trickier to navigate an in person. But at least, now you know.

Sorry q.
 
Wonderer67 said:
They showed their true colors, and now you know to stay away.

Lit, “ relationships“ can sometimes be trickier to navigate an in person. But at least, now you know.

Sorry q.
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Nah it's ok..thanks. It certainl wasn't any real relationship; there was no expectation of anything actually happening, which was absolutely fine. But she wasn't really honest with me I think. Any kind of erotica writing relationship is fraught and if ppl can't be honest it's never going to work

Their response was weird and I can't help thinking that, had I not called out the word, this wouldn't have happened. I find it weird that, apparently, she uses it with her 'black friends' and they all joke about it. I cannot imagine ever using that word. I mean reality isn't the script of Pulp Fiction. It's an awful word to use
 
Wonderer67 said:
No, unfortunately. Lying down right now. Seems to be bad for my back. It hurts again this morning, but not as bad as the last few days.

Fingers crossed.
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I have had back issues over the years starting with and episode that had me on my back for two weeks. We have a SleepNumber bed and I hightly recommend it along with some exercises I learned along the way. I also got checked out by a Dr. at Penn. He examined me and I felt like a slab of meat! Then he told me my one leg was longer than the other! Who knew?
 
subdudeme13 said:
I have had back issues over the years starting with and episode that had me on my back for two weeks. We have a SleepNumber bed and I hightly recommend it along with some exercises I learned along the way. I also got checked out by a Dr. at Penn. He examined me and I felt like a slab of meat! Then he told me my one leg was longer than the other! Who knew?
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My chiropractor has helped me fix my hips, which were slightly tilted. This is definitely being caused by my spinal stenosis, though, which is arthritis of my spinal cord. It pinches the nerves inside.

Hopefully it will pass… stretching definitely helps.

My wife was born with one leg that was a little bit longer. 2 inches to be exact, she has to wear a lift on left shoe to correct it. (True)

Of course I call her Eileen! (Not true)
 
Lilianna23 said:
I agree with you, Quim. If POC want to use that word amongst themselves or in their music, I think they can. Some use it as a power word. But it is not a word for white people to use.

You are not being over-sensitive. They're being racist. You can find other writing partners with whom you click. 🫂
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I think it also comes down to respecting boundaries. Once you spoke up about that boundary, that should have been the end of it. The second time they crossed it, I could still see it as a slip or heat of the moment for them. But for them to get bent out of shape at you for your boundary is just childish.

It wasn't how they wanted to play and that's fair. They removed themselves from the scene. Civility dictates a conversation or polite discourse to extricate all parties and move on.

It seems that you were both at different ends of the compatibility spectrum with a common interest in roleplay. They missed out because they never stuck around to see what else you had in store for them.
 
Looks like a good sunny day today. My brother is stopping by today. The sibs are gonna iron out what our next steps are before Mom gets home.

I should get to work on the tractor today. Maybe this morning if I can get this caffeine to work faster.

Picnic at the reservoir needs to be worked in there somewhere too. I should have got bananas at the store yesterday. I would have made peanut butter and banana sandwiches for the picnic. Maybe next time.

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Quimpossibility said:
Nah it's ok..thanks. It certainl wasn't any real relationship; there was no expectation of anything actually happening, which was absolutely fine. But she wasn't really honest with me I think. Any kind of erotica writing relationship is fraught and if ppl can't be honest it's never going to work

Their response was weird and I can't help thinking that, had I not called out the word, this wouldn't have happened. I find it weird that, apparently, she uses it with her 'black friends' and they all joke about it. I cannot imagine ever using that word. I mean reality isn't the script of Pulp Fiction. It's an awful word to use
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Knowing what you aren't comfortable with, and standing your ground is fair. She should respect that. But she may actually use the word in company she knows, you don't know her dynamic with others. Even so, she should respect your opinion on the issue. To me that's the bigger problem, lack of respect. This is a big red flag.

Some things in life are transient (especially here!), they can't or won't last forever. It doesn't mean doing them was a waste of time. It just means their time has passed.
 
subdudeme13 said:
I have had back issues over the years starting with and episode that had me on my back for two weeks. We have a SleepNumber bed and I hightly recommend it along with some exercises I learned along the way. I also got checked out by a Dr. at Penn. He examined me and I felt like a slab of meat! Then he told me my one leg was longer than the other! Who knew?
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I have one arm that's a lot stronger than the other... :oops:

:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
dkak001 said:
Knowing what you aren't comfortable with, and standing your ground is fair. She should respect that. But she may actually use the word in company she knows, you don't know her dynamic with others. Even so, she should respect your opinion on the issue. To me that's the bigger problem, lack of respect. This is a big red flag.
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But that's the point; I err on the side of caution. She did not. It seems to me insensitive to just deploy it and then go "what?" when I point out that, after the second time of using it, I don't like it.

Even then, she had all day and this morning to respond. We usually caht in the morning. Today nothing. I had to coax it out of her. I think she pouted all yesterday and decided that she didn't like being called racist or something. Well if you don't like that, don't use racist language! Simples

I don't think she was fair or honest tbh. I mean, had i said nothing the story - which was going very well ui though - would have continued. Anyway, what's done is done. I have my integrity and principles. She can find smeone else and good luck to her
dkak001 said:
Some things in life are transient (especially here!), they can't or won't last forever. It doesn't mean doing them was a waste of time. It just means their time has passed.
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Very true
 
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Oldermom935 said:
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Wonderer67 said:
Unless you’re getting humped or giving a hunping to your partner.

Of if you are @HumpDayHoratio !
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Both of these messages are HumpDay approved! 🫡 No go forth and Hump all day!

My HumpDay just got a little better! The piece of equipment I was heading for today in GA is still in maintenance…so, I got an extra day at home unless I just jinxed myself and they send me out later 😱. Not a bad way to start a last work week before working into a vacation! If it holds…

Some Badlands National Park MZ

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