BobYesTheBob
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2024
- Posts
- 38
I heard a rumor that the U.S. Gubment - my gubment, your gubment (I just like saying "gubment") is cracking down on Poppers, those little fragrance-enhancing inhalants famous for enhancing butt-sex. I don't get it - why would the government do ANYTHING to make butt sex less fun? The government LIVES by fucking it's people in the ass. Poppers make that easier, so...it does NOT MAKE SENSE. Do you realize I just gave you the answer? It...does not make sense. Naturally, that is bullseye territory for government policy! The main arena of effectiveness for the government has been in the area of Nonsensical Policy Formulation. The NPF is a long-held agency with funding up the ying-yang (technical government speak). The U.S. is hardly the first. We patterned that agency off the U.K.'s Ministry of Silly Walks made famous by the fine historians at Monty Python's Flying Circus. Those guys fucking know history and make it come alive, do they not? From the Knights of the Round Table to the life and times of Jesus' bestest frenemy Brian, you can count on the good people of MPFC to provide accurate, thoroughly researched glimpses into the history of...some planet I'm totally blanking on the name. Fuck...I hate that. Dammit. Anyway...
You might be saying, Bob? You are obviously very learned. How one man could be so smart AND good looking with an amazing portfolio and an enormous cock? And ok, you're not wrong, ok? You're not wrong - "guilty as charged" Still, that cannot explain everything, why the govt interference? Safety? Safety. God bless you for thinking that, you beautiful retards. Well, maybe only in the sense that "safety" is a govt code for "control via overreach the type of overreach expressly forbidden by the Constitution but who the fuck reads that?". The U.S. govt has zero concerns for it's citizen's safety, that is not even subject for debate. I mean, most of the world bans our food because it's not, technically in the sense of naming things for what they are truly are in reality...food. It is consumable....but it is not food.
I mean, look at Skittles. Did you know they originally wanted to use the slogan "Skittles - Taste the Cancer!" before opting for the slogan "Taste the Rainbow"? True story. I know - I'm an industry expert who goes by the name Slogan Guy. That's actually my real name (I'm...French). I've got decades of industry experience. I used to work at a very well known greeting card company, my contract does not allow me to name names but let's just say this company name rhymes with, oh, I don't know....Rallmark? (that oughtta keep them guessing, damn I'm clever!). I'm the one who came up with the infamous card in our category we call "Dearly Departed". Remember that card reading "Who Died And Left You Boss?" I'm still proud of that one.
There is a term for the U.S. diet - SAD (Standard I'm-blanking-on-the-country-it-starts-with-"A" Diet). Standard Something-something Diet. No, don't tell me I'll get it. Africa? Is that a country? Dammit no, that's a state. Anyway, we blend food...and Chemistry! So no, this new zeal with busting the popper industry's balls (figuratively...possibly literally) has NOTHING to do with safety in the sense making people less exposed to danger. We are America. We LOVE danger! We fucking eat, breathe and sleep...Danger! Are...you ladies getting moist yet? Oh, you will....just wait.
Then what is the issue? Simple. We in the U.S. Government do not give a single fuck, nor a single shit, nor even a damn (we used to say "goddamn" but we are weeding god out of it, so...20th century) about our people's safety. What we DO require is that we get a little somethin-somethin in the process of killing our populace! I mean, the hand that holds the baby, is the cradle which...I think I fucked that one up. Look, we don't mind upstanding companies like RJ Reynolds poisoning our people. I mean, We The Poison People, amirite? But they know how to play the game - ya gotta let the gubment take a bite! And these popper people do not know how to play Da Game. So artificially boosting the nicotine content of otherwise barely addictive cigarette because nicotine is about 1,000x more powerful than heroin? Totally fucking in. Poppers? Not so in.
But there is hope. There is a way get your precious poppers back on store shelves. hell, there's a way to get it on Walmart's stores shelves, don't cha know. It's called Grift a.k.a. "The American Way".
I mean, let's face it, In God We Trust...well, ok, but God ain't voting and even if he is there's what...at best 3 votes? And I'm not altogether really counting on that 3rd part of the godhead, that spirit thing definitely gives me "Ghost of Xmas Future" vibes - kind of creepy. Jesus? That vote is locked in, that dude knows how to fuckin' party I mean right out of the chute, so to speak, what does he do for his "debut miracle"? Booze. That is OUR kind of voter! The dad? IDK...he's a bit...judgmental? And kind of crabby - definitely Boomer and we know as people age and gain intelligence and become more world and street smart they run to the conservative party, the thinking man's party.
But do NOT give up on the other party! The Dems are going through, oh, growing pains? I mean, growing old and losing one's fucking mind is a pain, agreed? But still, we have the female vote LOCKED. It's very simple - women...are insane. That is NOT an insult! They even have a term - DeLulu! I shit you negatory, that is a term invented by women FOR women and far from being an insult, DeLulu is the stunning and brave empowerment women celebrate! You know, empowerment - like feminism! That is the ideology that "empowered" women to say "fuck you" to men who were willing to sacrifice their time, money…lives, just for the privilege of taking care of these wailing banshees “slash” 403’s and opt for the "power" of working for faceless corporations who would fire them the same way they fire men - meaning, without cause OR the cause being the CEO fucked up, shareholder value is projected to dip 1 penny so MASSIVE LAYOFF. I mean, c'mon...1 penny! Projected! Our hands are tied and NOT in the fun way! Let's all welcome the ladies! Who needs a home when you can have a cubicle! Eh? Ehhh?
So here's the thing. Get these feckin' popper people to play feckin' ball...not play WITH their balls, play ball...and we (Da Gubment) will disappear like U.S. tax revenue...and who the fuck knows where that money goes? You don't, haha! Well, you don't unless you did the really hard math (we teach math all wrong for good reason!) of determining how a govt employee making well under $200k yearly which is not...bad pay but not Scrooge McDuck duckets either...how ALL of them have like, 24 houses? Even that fucking pseudo-socialist Bernie Sanders! Redistribute wealth my fucking arse, who are you fooling, Bernie? Well...democrat voters is who and as I just went over, Democrat voter = Delulu women. No man has voted Democrat since 1932. That is a documented fact. Well, males have...young men that are pre-26 years of age therefore do not have the privilege of a fully developed brain. After that? They either go tranny...or conservative. We Can't Keep Em! That’s the whole reason behind the “gender affirming care” which again…who the fuck with a brain would believe making these boys drink chemical castration juice or lopping off their Johnson McWeiner affirms anything?! It affirms they are, to use the technical term, Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs (Cocoa Puffs is the name of the black “exotic dancer”. I love naming things for the gubment…exotic IT’S A STRIPPER.)
Well we kept a few of them, the ones easily guilted and not very "critical" in their pseudo-thinking. They are easy prey, er...good citizens who react to name-calling, if-they-see-it-on-TV-or-internet-it-must-be-true, that kind of stuff. Propaganda, or what I like to call Proper-ganda. Huh...I wonder if this is – quick question, is Popper-ganda useful anywhere? Just spit-balling. These liberal "men", oh man, they crack me up. You would not BELIEVE how successful we have been in making (you won't believe this) white men...feel bad about being white! Is that not crazy?! Holy cow when Gary started pushing for that we thought, no fucking way can we get American men, I mean white American men, the ones who do ALL the work (skilled work) the ones who freed the slaves - to hate themselves but dammit, I hate to say Gary was correct but...what the fuck, eh? My theory? The banshee’s they married (making whip sound) have worn their ability to resist anything, to nothing. These are not men they are man-shells. Translation? Welcome to the Democrat party. The party you want to join when you quit living and start existing, when you quit that annoying “thinking” and just start feeling. Because as we know, logic, rational thinking, reason? Fuckin’…boomer shit. Feelings? Last forever.
So if y’all just get these popper companies to play fucking ball not WITH their balls, then fucking hell, we will MAIL you poppers for free! We'll call them, let's see. Ah. Stimulus Poppers! For free! I mean, taxpayer subsidized, duh. What do you think, we're just going to use our own money, the same money we tirelessly work for? You think coming up with new and more intractable tax code is easy? It ain't. And as you know, money does NOT grow on trees! Hell, if it did there would be a LOT less of it! No, it doesn't, rather it is printed, non-stop, 24/7. Trees....you know how long a tree takes to mature?
The End.
You might be saying, Bob? You are obviously very learned. How one man could be so smart AND good looking with an amazing portfolio and an enormous cock? And ok, you're not wrong, ok? You're not wrong - "guilty as charged" Still, that cannot explain everything, why the govt interference? Safety? Safety. God bless you for thinking that, you beautiful retards. Well, maybe only in the sense that "safety" is a govt code for "control via overreach the type of overreach expressly forbidden by the Constitution but who the fuck reads that?". The U.S. govt has zero concerns for it's citizen's safety, that is not even subject for debate. I mean, most of the world bans our food because it's not, technically in the sense of naming things for what they are truly are in reality...food. It is consumable....but it is not food.
I mean, look at Skittles. Did you know they originally wanted to use the slogan "Skittles - Taste the Cancer!" before opting for the slogan "Taste the Rainbow"? True story. I know - I'm an industry expert who goes by the name Slogan Guy. That's actually my real name (I'm...French). I've got decades of industry experience. I used to work at a very well known greeting card company, my contract does not allow me to name names but let's just say this company name rhymes with, oh, I don't know....Rallmark? (that oughtta keep them guessing, damn I'm clever!). I'm the one who came up with the infamous card in our category we call "Dearly Departed". Remember that card reading "Who Died And Left You Boss?" I'm still proud of that one.
There is a term for the U.S. diet - SAD (Standard I'm-blanking-on-the-country-it-starts-with-"A" Diet). Standard Something-something Diet. No, don't tell me I'll get it. Africa? Is that a country? Dammit no, that's a state. Anyway, we blend food...and Chemistry! So no, this new zeal with busting the popper industry's balls (figuratively...possibly literally) has NOTHING to do with safety in the sense making people less exposed to danger. We are America. We LOVE danger! We fucking eat, breathe and sleep...Danger! Are...you ladies getting moist yet? Oh, you will....just wait.
Then what is the issue? Simple. We in the U.S. Government do not give a single fuck, nor a single shit, nor even a damn (we used to say "goddamn" but we are weeding god out of it, so...20th century) about our people's safety. What we DO require is that we get a little somethin-somethin in the process of killing our populace! I mean, the hand that holds the baby, is the cradle which...I think I fucked that one up. Look, we don't mind upstanding companies like RJ Reynolds poisoning our people. I mean, We The Poison People, amirite? But they know how to play the game - ya gotta let the gubment take a bite! And these popper people do not know how to play Da Game. So artificially boosting the nicotine content of otherwise barely addictive cigarette because nicotine is about 1,000x more powerful than heroin? Totally fucking in. Poppers? Not so in.
But there is hope. There is a way get your precious poppers back on store shelves. hell, there's a way to get it on Walmart's stores shelves, don't cha know. It's called Grift a.k.a. "The American Way".
I mean, let's face it, In God We Trust...well, ok, but God ain't voting and even if he is there's what...at best 3 votes? And I'm not altogether really counting on that 3rd part of the godhead, that spirit thing definitely gives me "Ghost of Xmas Future" vibes - kind of creepy. Jesus? That vote is locked in, that dude knows how to fuckin' party I mean right out of the chute, so to speak, what does he do for his "debut miracle"? Booze. That is OUR kind of voter! The dad? IDK...he's a bit...judgmental? And kind of crabby - definitely Boomer and we know as people age and gain intelligence and become more world and street smart they run to the conservative party, the thinking man's party.
But do NOT give up on the other party! The Dems are going through, oh, growing pains? I mean, growing old and losing one's fucking mind is a pain, agreed? But still, we have the female vote LOCKED. It's very simple - women...are insane. That is NOT an insult! They even have a term - DeLulu! I shit you negatory, that is a term invented by women FOR women and far from being an insult, DeLulu is the stunning and brave empowerment women celebrate! You know, empowerment - like feminism! That is the ideology that "empowered" women to say "fuck you" to men who were willing to sacrifice their time, money…lives, just for the privilege of taking care of these wailing banshees “slash” 403’s and opt for the "power" of working for faceless corporations who would fire them the same way they fire men - meaning, without cause OR the cause being the CEO fucked up, shareholder value is projected to dip 1 penny so MASSIVE LAYOFF. I mean, c'mon...1 penny! Projected! Our hands are tied and NOT in the fun way! Let's all welcome the ladies! Who needs a home when you can have a cubicle! Eh? Ehhh?
So here's the thing. Get these feckin' popper people to play feckin' ball...not play WITH their balls, play ball...and we (Da Gubment) will disappear like U.S. tax revenue...and who the fuck knows where that money goes? You don't, haha! Well, you don't unless you did the really hard math (we teach math all wrong for good reason!) of determining how a govt employee making well under $200k yearly which is not...bad pay but not Scrooge McDuck duckets either...how ALL of them have like, 24 houses? Even that fucking pseudo-socialist Bernie Sanders! Redistribute wealth my fucking arse, who are you fooling, Bernie? Well...democrat voters is who and as I just went over, Democrat voter = Delulu women. No man has voted Democrat since 1932. That is a documented fact. Well, males have...young men that are pre-26 years of age therefore do not have the privilege of a fully developed brain. After that? They either go tranny...or conservative. We Can't Keep Em! That’s the whole reason behind the “gender affirming care” which again…who the fuck with a brain would believe making these boys drink chemical castration juice or lopping off their Johnson McWeiner affirms anything?! It affirms they are, to use the technical term, Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs (Cocoa Puffs is the name of the black “exotic dancer”. I love naming things for the gubment…exotic IT’S A STRIPPER.)
Well we kept a few of them, the ones easily guilted and not very "critical" in their pseudo-thinking. They are easy prey, er...good citizens who react to name-calling, if-they-see-it-on-TV-or-internet-it-must-be-true, that kind of stuff. Propaganda, or what I like to call Proper-ganda. Huh...I wonder if this is – quick question, is Popper-ganda useful anywhere? Just spit-balling. These liberal "men", oh man, they crack me up. You would not BELIEVE how successful we have been in making (you won't believe this) white men...feel bad about being white! Is that not crazy?! Holy cow when Gary started pushing for that we thought, no fucking way can we get American men, I mean white American men, the ones who do ALL the work (skilled work) the ones who freed the slaves - to hate themselves but dammit, I hate to say Gary was correct but...what the fuck, eh? My theory? The banshee’s they married (making whip sound) have worn their ability to resist anything, to nothing. These are not men they are man-shells. Translation? Welcome to the Democrat party. The party you want to join when you quit living and start existing, when you quit that annoying “thinking” and just start feeling. Because as we know, logic, rational thinking, reason? Fuckin’…boomer shit. Feelings? Last forever.
So if y’all just get these popper companies to play fucking ball not WITH their balls, then fucking hell, we will MAIL you poppers for free! We'll call them, let's see. Ah. Stimulus Poppers! For free! I mean, taxpayer subsidized, duh. What do you think, we're just going to use our own money, the same money we tirelessly work for? You think coming up with new and more intractable tax code is easy? It ain't. And as you know, money does NOT grow on trees! Hell, if it did there would be a LOT less of it! No, it doesn't, rather it is printed, non-stop, 24/7. Trees....you know how long a tree takes to mature?
The End.
