The How To Contest Support Thread

[starrkers]

Yeah, mine went from awful to mediocre, so I'm out of the running too.

Score 4.65, votes 37, views 4988, comments 16.

 

[_Lynn_]

Yeah, mine went from awful to mediocre, so I'm out of the running too.

Score 4.65, votes 37, views 4988, comments 16.

Mine is right about there too with a 4.66 I believe.
Still better than I thought it would do though.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Quote:
Originally Posted by starrkers
Yeah, mine went from awful to mediocre, so I'm out of the running too.

Score 4.65, votes 37, views 4988, comments 16.

Mine is right about there too with a 4.66 I believe.
Still better than I thought it would do though.

You were both head and shoulders, and I don't mean shampoo, above me. My score was only 4.58, with just 19 votes and 9 PC from 6,161 views. Those low numbers were quite disappointing because my essay was one of the first six to be posted.

Early on, it was actually below 3.00, which made me think I had a shot at the last place (tm) prize, but I doubt if I have a shot at that either.

 

[l8bloom]

Congratulations, winners!
Well done!

Guess I should weigh in ...
4.64, 36 votes, 6476 views. Not bad. Still, I had ought to strive to improve, lest my H's wink on & off like xmas trees, thus drawing the criticism of a certain reviewer over the word 'brilliant.'

& you thought I was asleep

 

[MarshAlien]

Congratulations, winners!
Well done!

Guess I should weigh in ...
4.64, 36 votes, 6476 views. Not bad. Still, I had ought to strive to improve, lest my H's wink on & off like xmas trees, thus drawing the criticism of a certain reviewer over the word 'brilliant.'

& you thought I was asleep

My apologies, Ogg, if my comment on your story was offensive. I thought it was very well-done and quite worthy of the 5 that I gave it. I was actually just tired of writing the same old comments as everyone else.

I obviously have to work on curbing my arrogance and pettiness when I'm trying to be funny. Otherwise I end up with public feedback like this:

God it tries so hard! Okay if he wants to try a little cutesy humor, an in joke for his buddies, so what? But on every second line? Miss sarahhhh got banned for being funny, for writing a story that the censors felt was too humorous to be in this category. The author of this story started out to write a Humor Category story but even the censor didn’t find it funny. “Christ, put it in the bloody ‘How To’ contest,” Laurel finally ordered one of her minions.

The continuous asides to other ‘in groupers’, to his AH buddies, is almost pathetic, and the story may include some of the most ‘sucky up’ lines in Literotica contest history. A Julie Andrews moment? Little Miss DK is studying hard for her presentation? Sweetwitch and her newts? Yuck

You have to wonder what the ‘Average Joe’ reader opening this story randomly, thinking a contest story probably should be pretty good, would make of the whole thing. My guess is he’d be clicked out and long gone by the end of the second paragraph.

Which is of course the author’s greatest failing here. He doesn’t care about them. In fact he doesn’t want them to get to the end and vote. You can feel the utter disdain he shows for not only Literotica’s readers but also other authors he clearly feels superior to. He may speak for his “fellow [AH] Romance writers” but certainly not for the vast majority of us.

Surely sir, if you are going to write a story to be entered in a major Literotica competition its sole purpose shouldn’t be to mock the people that you rely on so much for to feed your ego. For yes, even though, like so many of your AH friends, you dismiss the majority of readers as simpletons and perverts, you still crave the rush that comes from having your stories ‘viewed’.

Quite frankly I hope you win the contest. Then this (expletive deleted) story will have to stay on the site forever, a testament to one authors arrogance and pettiness.

Anybody get any better feedback than that?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

My apologies, Ogg, if my comment on your story was offensive. I thought it was very well-done and quite worthy of the 5 that I gave it. I was actually just tired of writing the same old comments as everyone else.

I obviously have to work on curbing my arrogance and pettiness when I'm trying to be funny. Otherwise I end up with public feedback like this:



Anybody get any better feedback than that?

Imagine
05/16/07 By: Anonymous
...an all-girl classroom in a hellish future (or is that past?) vigorously jotting down notes. The place is decorated with seashells and flowers. The girls are pretty as kittens and twice as cuddly.

Their lesson today is "Be a Woman Worthy of a Man", and between the fits of giggles and girly banter, the class is keenly interested. Not only is this lesson a part of the most important (and one of the few) courses this year, but its value in real life cannot be repeated enough.

Some of the girls are so spellbound that the teacher has to remind them of sitting in their most seductive poses, a habit never to be neglected at any time, and some use the occasion to reapply their lip-gloss. Only a few misfits sit hunched in their seats way down in the back.

The teacher, unbothered by their behavior, gives teenaged Sue an encouraging smile and braces herself in a charmingly vulnerable way. "Brrr! It's quite fresh today, isn't it, girls?"

A chorus of voices responds excitedly, chiming like silver bells.

The teacher smiles and fixates Sue, suppresses an almost imperceptible twitch of impatience, and turns it into a sweet, apologetic grin. "I guess I should have dressed better, but my husband just likes this dress so much!"

Once again, the girls giggle and twitter in enthusiastic unison, and even Sue, who is sitting by the window, tries her best impersonation, desperate to please.

The look the teacher gives her now is almost hurt, her graceful shoulders bent, signaling how much she is suffering. A few girls turn in their seats and look at Sue with open scorn. Others soak up the teacher admiringly and even mimic the delicate shudder that passes through her body. Sue realizes it's somehow all her fault, but doesn't know what to do.

"She means close the window, dumbass," her neighbor finally murmurs.

Sue's face turns crimson. Of course.

She disentangles from her chair and rushes to obey. The window is only a step away, but she manages to trip. She can never do anything right. She doesn't feel attractive in the mandatory high heels and her thinking is too straightforward, so much that she sometimes says what she wants and doesn't understand others if they don't do it too. In the days of her grandma, the days of which she so often fantasizes, she could dress in any clothes she chose, even pants and flats, and speak her mind the way it naturally flows. Now, no man would put up with a girl who doesn't even know how to circumvent a topic.

"She's so linear she should be a man," someone chirps in the front, and the harmonious giggles fill the room like gurgling of a mountain spring on a sweet summer day.

Despite the fresh layer of color on Sue's face, the teacher is pleased. The demonstration succeeded in more ways than one.

She gives Sue a soothing smile and proceeds handing the papers. True, it would be more fortunate if Sue accepted her excessive masculinity and stopped insisting on being straight, but there was always a student or two like that in every generation. In time, she'll either give up the class and realize her anomalousness, or embrace the one correct way of being a genuine woman worthy of a man.

 

[oggbashan]

My apologies, Ogg, if my comment on your story was offensive. I thought it was very well-done and quite worthy of the 5 that I gave it. I was actually just tired of writing the same old comments as everyone else.

I obviously have to work on curbing my arrogance and pettiness when I'm trying to be funny...

I didn't find it offensive. I thought it was complimentary. But then I have read several of your posts here so I understand your style.

I would take Scouries' feedback with a pinch of salt. Scouries has an acid pen for criticism. Sometimes that is more valid than fulsome praise but one needs a sense of proportion because Scouries has definite views.

Og

 

[MarshAlien]

I didn't find it offensive. I thought it was complimentary. But then I have read several of your posts here so I understand your style.

I would take Scouries' feedback with a pinch of salt. Scouries has an acid pen for criticism. Sometimes that is more valid than fulsome praise but one needs a sense of proportion because Scouries has definite views.

Og

Oh, I already thanked him very much for his intelligent and understated criticism. This has been nothing but a tremendous learning experience for me. As for your feedback, Selena, wow! I concede the prize.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Oh, I already thanked him very much for his intelligent and understated criticism. This has been nothing but a tremendous learning experience for me. As for your feedback, Selena, wow! I concede the prize.

Did S. post his feedback on your how-to, Marshy, or just to the boards?

 

[MarshAlien]

Did S. post his feedback on your how-to, Marshy, or just to the boards?

Just the boards, in his discussion of the how-to contest. Unlike your correspondent, he wouldn't have wasted his time typing something like that for only a few people to read. Of course, I did post my own criticism of one of his works earlier in the thread. And as the saying goes, you reap what you sow . . .

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Just the boards, in his discussion of the how-to contest. Unlike your correspondent, he wouldn't have wasted his time typing something like that for only a few people to read.

*snerk*

Good point...

he's now claiming to have the "most commented on/viewed thread" on Lit....

 

[rachlou]

How To Pull on a Night Out
4.66 44 13380
Public Comments: 17

Mine was at 4.67 after the results, but it has had three more votes since then. Lucky me.

Average score I think. Certainly not a serious contender for last place (sadly).

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Just the boards, in his discussion of the how-to contest. Unlike your correspondent, he wouldn't have wasted his time typing something like that for only a few people to read. Of course, I did post my own criticism of one of his works earlier in the thread. And as the saying goes, you reap what you sow . . .

The great thing about "da scourge" is the way he never permits lack of knowledge or experience to restrain his urge to share his opinions.

For instance: There are no How-To submissions on his list. To be fair, that's not unexpected since his list of Literotica publications includes virtually no entries in any category other than Incest/Taboo.

Rumple Foreskin

ps: Last Place (tm) wise I'm out of the hunt. MarshAlien and I were in a neck-in-neck race for the big bucks until that last sweep did us both in, or out as the case may be. To be honest, I'm pleased with a 4.71 score and 17 PC's but disappointed that my "Happy Hooker" finished with only 31 votes. rf

 

[Boxlicker101]

ps: Last Place (tm) wise I'm out of the hunt. MarshAlien and I were in a neck-in-neck race for the big bucks until that last sweep did us both in, or out as the case may be. To be honest, I'm pleased with a 4.71 score and 17 PC's but disappointed that my "Happy Hooker" finished with only 31 votes. rf

Personally, I would have felt good with that many votes and PC and that score.

 

[starrkers]

Votes were certainly hard to come by in this contest.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Personally, I would have felt good with that many votes and PC and that score.

Box, the sad fate of your fine entry is a cautionary example for all future contestants.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[starrkers]

Quote:
Originally Posted by starrkers
Yeah, mine went from awful to mediocre, so I'm out of the running too.

Score 4.65, votes 37, views 4988, comments 16.




You were both head and shoulders, and I don't mean shampoo, above me. My score was only 4.58, with just 19 votes and 9 PC from 6,161 views. Those low numbers were quite disappointing because my essay was one of the first six to be posted.

Early on, it was actually below 3.00, which made me think I had a shot at the last place (tm) prize, but I doubt if I have a shot at that either.

You got more views than me and less votes - that's weird.
Using Ogg's formula you come out with a score of 3.48 - that's gotta be a contender!
(I still can't believe it got voted that low - I thought it was great)

 

[Boxlicker101]

You got more views than me and less votes - that's weird.
Using Ogg's formula you come out with a score of 3.48 - that's gotta be a contender!
(I still can't believe it got voted that low - I thought it was great)

My essay was one of the first ones posted. Just in the course of things, it would have picked up quite a few views.

 

[starrkers]

My essay was one of the first ones posted. Just in the course of things, it would have picked up quite a few views.

It was probably the Pavlovian response to the words "iambic" and "Pentameter" that did you in.

 

[Boxlicker101]

It was probably the Pavlovian response to the words "iambic" and "Pentameter" that did you in.

Could be. Actually, it was more likely "heptameter". I tried to avoid being too technical, but those words are used, and I felt I had to explain them. Have you ever before read a "How-to" that used words like that?

 

[starrkers]

Could be. Actually, it was more likely "heptameter". I tried to avoid being too technical, but those words are used, and I felt I had to explain them. Have you ever before read a "How-to" that used words like that?

Yes, but not on Lit, and yours was the first I fully understood.

 

[oggbashan]

... My score was only 4.58, with just 19 votes and 9 PC from 6,161 views. Those low numbers were quite disappointing because my essay was one of the first six to be posted.

Early on, it was actually below 3.00, which made me think I had a shot at the last place (tm) prize, but I doubt if I have a shot at that either.

It seems that Boxlicker101 is the leading contender for the Author's Hangout
Last Place (tm) Award for the 2007 How-To.

Unless another contender wishes to declare their low rating and low votes.

The declaration will be made in the next 24 hours.

Og

PS. My low ratings are ineligible.

 

[oggbashan]

And the Last Place (tm) Contest winner is...

Boxlicker101, the recent great-grandfather, with his useful How-To that currently has an H but a low number of votes:

Doggerell for Dummies

Congratulations.

Boxlicker101 can now add a suitably modest slogan to his signature to indicate that he is the winner of the Author's Hangout 2007 How-To Last Place (tm) Contest.

Og de judge

 

[glynndah]

A for the winner from the good little witch.

 

[_Lynn_]

to Boxlicker!!