The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

[Sir_Winston54]

Got a full scholarship to law school today.

It's been a good week.

Congratulations to you, and my most profound sympathies to the legal system...

Seriously, that's a great achievement!

...And we'll look forward to Chief Justice Marquis in a few years, straightening out all the kinks the last two generations of "legal eagles" have put in our Constitution.

 

[Lenora]

FURRY handcuffs make me laugh.

 

[Marquis]

Outstanding! Congrats. Party at Marquis's house!

You ain't lying baby.

Congratulation Marquis

Thank you dear. It's not exactly Harvard, but saving $80,000 makes the step-down from my undergrad school a LOT easier to swallow.

Congratulations to you, and my most profound sympathies to the legal system...

Seriously, that's a great achievement!

...And we'll look forward to Chief Justice Marquis in a few years, straightening out all the kinks the last two generations of "legal eagles" have put in our Constitution.

You can count on it.

 

[snowy ciara]

Oh to have a zillion dollars for plane tickets and nowheres I have to be tomorrow.

 

[graceanne]

Got a full scholarship to law school today.

It's been a good week.

Wow, that is so awesome. Congrats!

 

[Marquis]

Spank you, spank you very much.

 

[snowy ciara]

Well, okay, but go easy on me? Hey, thanks for fixing that thread.

 

[laurel-marie]

Something has got to be wrong with me....I am sitting here eating cookie dough and drinking a diet Dr. Pepper.

 

[graceanne]

Something has got to be wrong with me....I am sitting here eating cookie dough and drinking a diet Dr. Pepper.

LOL I'm glad I'm the only person who sees the irony in that. Another one that gets me is people eating greasy fries, a greasy hamburger, and diet pop. I mean if you're gonna eat something fattening, why not enjoy it all the way?

Oh, and by the way . . . does that cookie dough have chocolate in it?

 

[laurel-marie]

LOL I'm glad I'm the only person who sees the irony in that. Another one that gets me is people eating greasy fries, a greasy hamburger, and diet pop. I mean if you're gonna eat something fattening, why not enjoy it all the way?

Oh, and by the way . . . does that cookie dough have chocolate in it?

Yes it does. Some cute little girl came by the other day and was selling gourmet cookie dough. I bought chocolate chunk and white chocolate macadaminan(sp) cookie dough. This stuff is dangerous.

Want some?

 

[graceanne]

Yes it does. Some cute little girl came by the other day and was selling gourmet cookie dough. I bought chocolate chunk and white chocolate macadaminan(sp) cookie dough. This stuff is dangerous.

Want some?

OMG with macadmian nuts too?
*drools*

Of course I do.

 

[laurel-marie]

OMG with macadmian nuts too?
*drools*

Of course I do.

Every year I buy this stuff.
Every year I swear I will make the cookies.
Every year I never get cookies.

 

[graceanne]

Every year I buy this stuff.
Every year I swear I will make the cookies.
Every year I never get cookies.

I was a girlscout for 10 years. And every year I had to go door to door, and hang out at the grocery store, selling girlscout cookies. Consequently I'm a sucker for kids selling stuff, I feel so bad for them.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Something has got to be wrong with me....I am sitting here eating cookie dough and drinking a diet Dr. Pepper.

There's definitely something wrong with you... Diet Root Beer, Diet Coke, Diet Sunkist, Diet Rite (pick your flavor) and cookie dough, yes. But Diet Dr. Pepper? Ickkkkk!

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Of all the unmitigated gall ...

Until you earn it, you won't hear it trolling poser, and you have less than a snowball's chance in Hell.

By the way, i OWN Hell.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Until you earn it, you won't hear it trolling poser, and you have less than a snowball's chance in Hell.

By the way, i OWN Hell.

Irreverent thought: So snowy has what chance of getting unscathed through an encounter with you?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Irreverent thought: So snowy has what chance of getting unscathed through an encounter with you?

Reality Theatre: 100%. i'd say hello and walk away.

 

[esclave_PP]

And I thought you owned Hell. Damn, I was hoping to catch the Trolley and get a tour.

 

[Bandit58]

FURRY handcuffs make me laugh.

Purple furry ones, and leopard print ones........BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[AngelicAssassin]

And I thought you owned Hell. Damn, I was hoping to catch the Trolley and get a tour.

That's the nice thing about owning something. You decide for whom to open, or bar the door. Durante Alighieri had it all wrong. The sign actually says "Abandon all hope. You ain't getting in here."

And none shall pass ...

 

[laurel-marie]

That's the nice thing about owning something. You decide for whom to open, or bar the door. Durante Alighieri had it all wrong. The sign actually says "Abandon all hope. You ain't getting in here."

And none shall pass ...

Won't you get lonely?

 

[esclave_PP]

And none shall pass ...[/QUOTE]

Do I get to answer the question about the African Swallow and the coconut?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

And none shall pass ...

Do I get to answer the question about the African Swallow and the coconut?

Newp ...

Title: The Swallows
From: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Transcribed By: Malcolm Dickinson ( CLARINET@YALEVM.BITNET)


The film begins. Out of a dense fog trots Arthur, accompanied on two empty coconut halves by his trusty servant, Patsy. They approach a castle. Suddenly a guard appears atop a high rampart.

Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!
Guard: Who's the other one?
Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard: You've got two empty 'alves of coconuts and you're bangin' 'em together!
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. Through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: (somewhat taken aback) We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: This is a temperate zone!
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house maarten or the plummer may seek warmer climes in winter, but these are not strangers to our land!
Guard: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all! They could be carried.
Guard: (indcredulous) What, a swallow, carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It's not a question of where 'e grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could *not* carry a one-pound coconut!
Arthur: (exasperated)Well it doesn't matter! Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the court of Camelot is here!

(pause)

Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

Arthur: Please!
Guard: (patiently) Am I right.
Arthur: I'm not interested!

( A second guard appears on the rampart. )

G2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
G1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
G2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: (extremely exasperated) Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot!!

(pause)

G1: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
G2: Oh yeah...

(Arthur and Patsy give up and trot away)

G1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
G2: Wait a minute! Supposing *two* swallows carried it together!
G1: Nooo..... They'd have to have it on a line...
G2: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!
G1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
G2: Well, why not?


Works for me.

 

[esclave_PP]

Darn. But that works for me. Thank you!!!! Bows down and giggles. That was fabulous. As always, you made my day. *Smiles*

 

[laurel-marie]

What is a serving size of semen and how many calories does it contain?