The North (Closed)

[heartofcourage]

"Why do you think you're a coward?" Shani asked him as he took her hand again. "I don't think you're a coward."

When he wrapped her in his arms, she knew that he was fighting against things that he wasn't ready to tell her about. He'd always been a scrappy fighter, too angry for his own good, but with maturity had come the knowledge that there was a greater role ahead of him. When he buried his face against her shoulder, she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

"Even if this isn't the world for you, no one will think you're a coward. Life threw something at you that you didn't expect and now that you've decided to learn how to be a king, I can't imagine the way that world has been tipped on its head." Shani murmured. "I don't envy you at all, Bo."

 

[KieranSoares]

His embrace tightened slightly at her words. After a long moment, he finally pulled back just enough to meet her gaze. "Is it too late to kiss you back?" He asked softly, trying to give her one of his usual lopsided, charming grins. The energy wasn't all there, but his adoration for her was stronger than ever. "'Cause I wanted to as soon as you were back safe with us, but we were all too focused on your Da and I never found a good moment." He lifted a hand to brush a lock of dark hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing over her cheek.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't." Shani admitted as Brogan tried to shake off whatever he was feeling in that moment, his hand tracing over her cheek.

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan's smile warmed at her admission. Despite everything he was nervous about, he had a little more confidence leaning in to press his lips to hers. His hand cupped her cheek and his free arm draped around her, a little less tense now. Bo wasn't one to admit it often, but Shani's presence helped center him. It was part of why he'd stuck so close to her side since she'd escaped the manor. As he kissed her, his shoulders began to relax and he let his eyes close, focusing in on the simple, lovely sensation. If he was honest with himself, he'd wanted to kiss her for a long, long time. He wasn't about to rush this chance.

 

[heartofcourage]

Shani sighed as Brogan made good on his question and returned her kiss, his hand cupping her cheek and his arm holding her close. She closed her eyes and let the moment settle, nothing like the rush of the first time she had kissed him. Her fingers curled against his dark vest, holding him tightly for a moment before she settled. When the kiss ended, she stood in the darkness for a long moment, staring up into his greenish amber gaze.

"You are the bravest soul I know." She said softly.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I'll take your word for it," he chuckled softly in return, hoping Shani couldn't feel the way his heart was absolutely racing despite how much better he felt being close to her. "I promise I'll try to live up to your confidence. And our parents'. Now that we're here and I understand how important all of this is... I'm gonna try to be worthy of the legacy my Ma wants to give me, and I'm gonna make you proud." Stealing another slow kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "I love you, Shani. Always have."

 

[heartofcourage]

There had been moments when Brogan had been so reckless that she feared he might die. Rissa and Qira had been angry with the boy that they had helped to raise, mostly because it hurt Kate to no end. Qira had warned Shani against foolish pride many times, but none of them had given up on Brogan. Kate especially had begged them all to help see him through the rebellions that he had wanted to undertake when he was younger and while Qira had never wanted his daughter to be influenced, he had never come between their friendship.

"Does this mean you'll finally listen when I'm angry?" Shani asked with a smile as he pressed his forehead against her own and professed his love to her. "And you'll stop doing foolish things for the sake of doing them?"

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan chuckled lightly, nuzzling against her. "Maybe occasionally," he offered with a grin. "It depends on the day." That was all Kate's influence, being contrary and stubborn for fun just to tease his partner. "But I'll try to be a little less stupid, just for you."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I've never seen you this head over heels." Shani murmured as he nuzzled against her, treating her like a proper mate and not like the little sister or friend that she had always been. "You really, truly mean that you want to make this relationship work."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I do," he confirmed softly. "I told you: I've had a crush on you since forever. And now that we're older... well, it's not just a crush anymore. When this war is over and you and I transition to our proper positions, I intend to walk hand-in-hand with you into Edinburgh, as proper partners. And we're gonna be a team helping our parents put things back together. You'll be my too-serious guardian, and I'll be the new hotheaded upstart." He grinned at that, drawing from their parents' history in Edinburgh. "But I promise I'll try to be a little less reckless than my Ma."

 

[heartofcourage]

Shani gave him her familiar little smile and kissed him again, basking in the knowledge that he loved her so deeply.

They walked for a while longer hand in hand before Shani wanted to return to Qira’s side. Until he was back to his normal duties, she would worry. As they drew closer to the room, Rissa stepped out, exhaustion in her face from her own constant vigil. She paused when she saw her daughter and Brogan hand in hand, but said nothing for the moment.

“He just fell asleep, love.” Rissa said softly as Shani nodded and pulled her hand from Brogan’s, slipping into the room as quietly as possible.

Rissa’s gaze turned towards the young Prince, her arms folding over her chest as she looked him up and down for a moment.

“Well?” She asked him.

 

[KieranSoares]

When Rissa faced Brogan, he was still watching after Shani til the door closed. The lean, tall young Wolf's shoulders were relaxed for the first time since his mission and he had a quietly-lovestruck look about him, similar to what Rissa often saw of Kell when he and Kate parted ways to work or travel. It wasn't the silly little grin and swooning of a boy newly in love. It was the calm surety of a man who was certain of his partner and his place beside her.

His green-dappled golden eyes turned to Rissa, and it was like looking at a young Kell again as he murmured softly with absolute certainty, "I love her. And I'm gonna become worthy of your trust with her. I know I probably have a lot of work to do." All four of the adults had known Brogan had a crush on Shani for years, but he'd always denied it around them. Since he'd admitted his feelings to his mother in particular, he'd been especially respectful to Rissa and Qira, trying to prove he wasn't just a wayward, temperamental cub anymore.

 

[heartofcourage]

"She's my only child, Brogan, and between Qira and I, she is the only family that we have bound to us by blood. It goes much farther than simply gaining our trust. She is everything to us." Rissa said as Brogan seemed so self-confident about his future with Shani. "Are you telling me that you feel like Shani is your mate?"

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan knew well that Rissa was a direct woman and she expected confident answers, not hesitation or second-guessing. But he also wanted to be honest with her and fair to Shani. "I want to hope so. But that's up to her. We decided to take things slow and make sure this is right for both of us, especially with all these extra stressors coming in." He offered a small shrug. "Maybe it's a little reckless to say, but... Honestly, Rissa, I could see myself still by her side ten, twenty, fifty years from now. Now that I've got a little more perspective, I don't want to play around and be flippant about something this important. I'm just going at her pace."

Considering the woman that was like his second mother, Brogan's head tilted slightly. "Are you okay with me even giving this a shot? I know I didn't exactly give you a whole lot of reasons to trust I'd be good for her before this past year. I talked to Da a little about this before the invasion, and even he wasn't quite sure if you and Qira would give me a chance just yet."

 

[heartofcourage]

Rissa watched him silently, listening to what he had to say. She had perhaps the most experience with the young prince out of anyone in the entire world. She had helped to raise him, protected him, acted as his mother when Kate couldn't be around. She had seen the hurt and disappointment that he had put his parents through with his antics, but he seemed sincere in that moment. Kell had been wise to tell the young cub that she and Qira would be weary of him and Shani.

"I know you, Bo. I know your heart and soul. I know that at the end of the day that I can trust you because you are just like your mother. However, I will not tolerate anyone breaking my daughter's heart." Rissa said softly. "And you've been very good at that. I know you're trying to get your life together and be the man that your mother needs you to be. Just...don't take on more than you can handle."

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan's gaze cast down to the floor as she reminded him to manage his limitations carefully. There had been brief moments in the last year that he'd pushed himself far too hard and echoes of his childhood sickness had left him unable to eat, or even swallow food for a day or two. There had been some nasty cuts and bruises and a couple broken fingers. But worst of all was the mental stress he'd inflicted on himself trying to measure up to Kate. Even if he'd been a handful as a child and then they'd really been at odds between the ages of twelve and twenty, she was still his hero and the person he judged himself against.

He could live with not matching up to Kell, knowing his father came from a background that Brogan couldn't imagine. But Kate was of the Ghis, a clan of heroes and titans. She had been awarded knighthood as a teenager, given a crown because her predecessor trusted that she was the right choice, and she'd held the High Throne and united her lords in time to put up a massive resistance against an entire Empire. Sure, she'd lost in the end. But she, alongside her siblings, had crippled the Empire, saw the Emperor killed, and managed to save thousands upon thousands of people from imperial punishment by organizing a mass exodus of the isles. And after all of that, she'd remained a Queen in action even if she had lost all her titles, caring for her people from afar with the Triad's help for twenty years all while being an attentive mother and member of Arslan Khan's clan.

Rissa could practically see him mulling through memories and doubts and worries in that ten or so seconds of silence. Finally, he lifted his gaze and looked at her with brows slightly furrowed in worry. "I don't know if I can promise that last bit, Rissa. I'm not sure I could ever be what Ma needs in a Prince without pushing my limits. If that hurts Shani... she doesn't have to stick with me. I would never ask her to do that." It hurt to say, but Brogan felt that failing his mother wasn't an option, and he cared too much about Shani to make her suffer beside him.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Bo, you will never be your mother." Rissa said softly, knowing that the young man had constantly tried to measure up to the powerhouse that was Katherine Ghis.

She stepped forward and took his face in her hands, making him look her in the eyes as she had when he was a cub and had tried to hide from her. "And she doesn't wish for you to be her. She wishes for you to be yourself and to make your own decisions. She has had the support of a family behind her and you will have the same. You are not the screw up that you see yourself as. You are a young man who is struggling to find his place in the world."

"Shani is my daughter and I simply don't want to see her get hurt if you decide to be rash and stubborn as you have in the past. I also know that she is a young woman who is old enough to make her own choices in this world and if she has chosen you...then I know you will take care of her. I expect you to be honest and respectful, loving and kind. All of the things that I know you can be."

 

[KieranSoares]

Brogan didn't pull away or try to make any excuses as Rissa told him straight how she saw his situation. Finally, he stepped in closer and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face to her shoulder like he'd done as a child when seeking comfort. Even if he were stubborn like his mother and would bull through some situations with a straight face, he'd also learned a certain level of vulnerability and trust, and he had a big heart like Qira, even if he tried not to show it.

"I love her," Brogan murmured. "And I love you and this whole weird little branch of the family. So I'm gonna try as hard as I can to be what you all need without burning myself out... I just might need some help sometimes." Pulling back, he kissed Rissa's cheek and met her gaze briefly before his pointed ears flicked and he turned to glance down the hall just as Kell rounded the corner. Brogan had been working hard on honing his senses, so it was quite a feat that he could hear his silent father coming.

"Bo," Kell greeted, glancing between his son and Rissa as he recognized he'd caught the tail end of a serious conversation. He pressed a kiss to Rissa's cheek before looking his son up and down. "Everything okay?"

"Getting better," Brogan nodded with a shrug. "Just... trying to figure stuff out, you know?"

"I know all too well."

Brogan nodded again, recognizing that his father, for all Kell's stoicism, also had such moments. "I'm gonna head to bed. Now that Qira's in the clear, I should probably get back to work tomorrow."

"Sleep well, cub," Kell murmured, hugging him close and kissing his forehead before sending him off. He watched Brogan disappear around a corner, and waited a moment more before looking down at Rissa. His hand found hers, interlocking their fingers in a simple show of affection. "I saw him and Shani out wandering around and I figured it wouldn't be long before you talked to him. I was going to, but... well, I could see on his face that he didn't need it. He's already got enough to think over. In the meantime... how's our unbearably stubborn Panther?"

 

[heartofcourage]

"He has his unbearably stubborn daughter with him at the moment." Rissa said as Brogan left them both for a good night's sleep. "And I'm sure tomorrow he'll be up and around. He's worry about the talk that you want to have with Shanni over what happened. More so than she is."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I think they worry too much," Kell murmured. "Mistakes were made, more training is needed, but Shani and Brogan did much better than I expected. I didn't think they'd fail, but I certainly didn't think they'd get that lord out without having to cause a lot more damage to him or the manor."

Looking down at Rissa once more, Kell offered a small smile. "What about you? Are you proud of the cubs, or still angry that we let them do all of this?"

 

[heartofcourage]

"I'm not mad at either of them. I'm mad at you and Qira for putting the ideas in their heads in the first place." Rissa groused as Kell tried to soothe her with that charming smile of his. "But I guess I've always known it was coming. Qira has been quietly teaching her since the moment she came into this world, always sneaking off with her when she was an infant or showing her how to do something that no one but a spy should know."

 

[KieranSoares]

"And of course Brogan was always trying to emulate Kate and I, and he taught Shani everything he learned." Kell chuckled softly. "If anything, I'm glad Qira decided to make sure they learned correctly. Even if we don't want them in this fight... They know it's their fight too. And as much as Brogan resisted the idea before, and even though Shani was born far from here, they know this is home."

Lifting her hand, Kell pressed a kiss to the back of her knuckles. "There are a handful of people I'm desperate to see walk back through the doors of their proper homes. Kate in Edinburgh, Sam and Fiona in Inverness along with his parents, and I want to see you walk back into your estate. You devoted yourself to this family without question or doubt and did more than anyone could've ever asked or hoped for. And then when we lost everything, you helped keep Kate afloat and you looked after my boy like he was your own when we couldn't."

Kell was certainly a bit more expressive and vocal than Qira, but he rarely spoke this way to anyone but his partners. "I hope you know how grateful we are for you, Rissa. Our little branch of this family would've fallen apart without you. And I don't know if my love and stubbornness would've been enough to get Kate through without you and Qira."

 

[heartofcourage]

Rissa reached up and took his chin in her hand, squeezing it as she gave him a smile. "It's just land, Kell. Land my father gave me, but land none the less. I've lived without my title for so long that if I never get it back, I will survive. It's a noble gesture, my handsome wolf."

She had been one of Kate's few ladies who had title outright. Rissa had no family, her mother gone at her birth and her father before she was grown. It had left her with a freedom that few Scottish ladies had: the freedom to make her own fortune. She ran her estate wisely and it had always taken care of her. It was her first home with Qira, the manor providing them the backdrop to start a domestic life away from court. She had raised Brogan there off and on during the early days of the war. While it held good memories, she meant what she said about it just being land.

"You just focus on escorting our kitty cat through the gates of Edinburgh and Qira and I will be happy." Rissa said as she pressed a kiss to Kell's lips.

 

[KieranSoares]

Kell couldn't help a little smile, leaning into her kiss and lifting a hand to cup her cheek. As their lips parted, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close for a long moment. "I'll get you home," he promised despite her insistence that it was just land. "At this point, you and Qira deserve far more than I could ever provide. And I love you both more than I ever imagined back when we were young and adventurous fools trying to run an entire kingdom." He chuckled softly, stealing one more kiss.

"Now... before I get sidetracked too much more, I have a young master strategist to report to and an entire regiment of agents to coordinate." He gave her one more tired smile, knowing she'd understand better than anyone how much work he had on his shoulders with Qira out of commission. Once Qira was able to at least help with managing, messaging, and paperwork again, it'd get easier and Kell would have time to sleep. Leaving Rissa with a touch to her cheek, he silently swept off down the hall to find Soma before the young man turned in for the evening.

The next morning, as promised, Kell gathered up the cubs and Qira to talk over the events of Darkwood's recapture. With the grievous wound to his thigh, Qira required the temporary aid of a crutch and Kell didn't let him go much further than the interior of the manor without a wheelchair. The great Panther was visibly annoyed by being so limited and unable to move quickly or silently, but to his credit, he didn't let his bad moon make him too morose. He was simply even quieter than usual.

The four gathered in Soma's temporary office and war room, the young tactician off speaking with officers and coordinating different regiments under different banners of the Triad, Empire, and any allies who'd joined in. Kell sat behind the desk with his hands folded neatly before him, Qira to one side, and young Brogan and Shani across from them. A number of drawings of the manor's floorplan lay before Kell with Shani and Brogan's path drawn out based on their reports, including markers of where they'd run into people, where Brogan had killed a guard and hid him, and where they'd caught the lord and split up.

There was an entire separate drawing of Shani's path across the roof and Qira's approach and their separate escapes. It was only because of the drawing that Shani could finally see what happened to her father after he got her off the solarium. He'd purposely split them up against her wishes, then went back inside to seek an exit out the way Brogan and Shani had entered: through the kitchen and cellars. It would've worked out well if not for several guards having gone to secure the cellar entrance. Qira caught them off-guard and killed them all, but not before one was able to throw a bottle at his face, using the distraction to get in one hit with a poisoned blade. Once his enemies were down and he realized he was getting hazy, Qira hid by the cellar entrance to await rescue knowing that trying to flee would lead to him bleeding to death.

Kell sorted through the papers showing Brogan and Shani's route, having had them walk him through it all several times. Taking out a page that showed where Brogan killed the guard, Kell looked between them. "Your entry was just about perfect, all things considered. Sparing the servants and knocking the two in the cellar out was the right course. But this guard's patrol wasn't known to you, so when he got between you... Bo, you had no choice. If you'd hesitated, he would've sounded the alarm early. I only have one piece of advice for this." He then looked to Shani. "If you saw the guard going down the stairs and intercepting Bo's path, the ideal outcome would've been for you to down the guard first while his back was turned to you and before he saw Bo. That way neither of you would've had a chance to be compromised. But that said... there have been times where Qira has let someone go by him so he could keep looking forward, knowing I or his partner could handle someone between us. It depends on the situation."

Looking back to Brogan, Kell set the paper aside. "However, the issue of you freezing up..."

"I'm sorry," Brogan murmured, casting his eyes down. "I panicked for a second... I just didn't expect it to be so... visceral. Or so easy."

"Pick your head up, cub," Kell demanded calmly, nodding when Brogan immediately straightened. "You know you stumbled, you've met with the regret of needing Shani to pull you back to the present, and now we move forward. No agent of mine is going to wallow in his mistakes. You acknowledge it, you improve, and you move on."

"Yes, sir," Brogan spoke with a little more confidence than he felt.

"But I appreciate that you understand the gravity of death and killing, and you see why we've trained you to know when to stay your blade. Even if it hurts to take a life, it is far worse to feel nothing."

Brogan nodded, trying to keep his posture, but visibly pulling back a little to think. With a nod, Kell turned to Shani. "As for you, cub... Your decision to send Bo with the lord was ideal. But your exit strategy... well, you didn't have one, from what I could see, save for drawing attention away from Bo. That's a good thing, but you went about it in a way that would've gotten you killed. Among my agents, I have three rules: stay alive, watch your comrades' backs, and leave no trace when possible. These all take priority over completing the mission. Obviously in your case, it wasn't possible to leave without a trace, and you did make sure Bo got out. But you put your life at extreme risk in a situation where that wasn't necessary. Now, I'm not trying to talk down or lecture you like a child- you're too smart for that- but I do want to impress upon you that your life is far more meaningful to us than your death."

"So... Take a look at this." Kell slid a new paper over to Shani, showing her an alternate route out of the manor after she split from Brogan. "Your path took you outside, back in, and out again when you were cornered. This alternative path would've taken you the opposite way around to a slope of the roof that you could've climbed or slid down to get to the ground with partial cover and minimal risk of injury, then you could've exited the opposite way from Bo to make sure you didn't lead anyone his way. In the future when you're running missions like this, you want to make sure you're scouting at least three exits and considering angles that would block you from sight or allow you to duck into cover regularly if you're spotted. And if all else fails, surrender is sometimes an option."

Qira took over then. "You two have been raised on stories of heroes and those who died fighting, never surrendering and never giving an inch. But as agents, we have to weigh our situations carefully. Do we fight to the death, surrender and risk torture, or do we resort to drastic measures to keep secrets?" Brogan and Shani knew that some agents- only the elite senior agents specially designated and fully willing- kept cyanide pills on them to eat in the event of capture with no hope of escape in the near future.

Qira continued, "In some situations where we know help is coming soon, we can safely surrender. Other times, when we know our enemies will kill us the moment they get the chance, we have no choice but to fight. In this situation, Shani, you might've avoided your close call by bargaining, promising them information and buying time, lying where possible to slow them down. Our enemies here in England are weaker and less ruthless than those we've faced in the past. You have to judge each officer you deal with to see who is willing to parley, of course, but it's always an option unless you're carrying information that you absolutely have to keep hidden no matter what. I trust you considered everything carefully- I know you studied the manor and the patrol patterns as much as possible- but your lack of experience nearly got you killed. And for that, I apologize."

Kell nodded in agreement as Qira went on, "We wanted to give you two a chance to show what you're made of, but I think we let you fly too close to the sun. One of us should've been with you from the start. We didn't lose any confidence in you two, let me make that very clear. But we realize we overestimated your experience."

"And Qira's correct when he says 'we.' We were both too eager to see you two take flight as proper agents. As such, after we run through some retraining, brush up on basics, and run the scenarios a few times, we're going to get you two right back to work. You need experience, you need chances to see senior agents work, and you need to build confidence and more high-stress deduction skills. You'll be working with our best senior agents while Qira heals. Then once he's on his feet, Shani, you'll be accompanying him on most if not all his missions and shadowing him in all of his work. And I do mean all. You two have been junior agents for a while now, not privy to secrets, identities, or sensitive information. But now that I've seen you two are really serious and capable, it's time you join the proper ranks. I don't think I need to impress upon you how important secrecy is. Even speaking to other agents is dangerous if you aren't in a secure location. You will learn some dark things over time, and you will learn secrets about people that will make you want to tell them that we know, but you can't do that. If you're still confident in your ability to adapt and thrive in this profession despite the dark side and despite any setbacks... well, little cubs, I'm confident in you. Are you ready to continue?"

 

[heartofcourage]

Shani stood there straight and tall. Unlike Brogan, she never bowed her head or shied away as Kell corrected her for her mistakes made during the taking of Darkwood. In the rare times that she had gotten into serious trouble when she was small, Qira had taught her to stand tall and never look away. The worst punishment she had ever received had been when Brogan had pulled her along on a wild adventure and the Khan himself had seen it fit to take over for both sets of parents. Shani had been sent off to work a field for a month and Brogan off to tend horses in a remote area. It had been one of the hardest months of her life.

She listened as Kell asked if they were ready to become senior spies, members of his inner circle. She wouldn't be working with Brogan anymore, but her father when he healed. She knew it was the next step she would have to take if she was to become a protector of Scotland. It was the next step if she even wanted to be next to Brogan when he became king. Shani glanced over at him and then at her father, gauging them for the moment before she looked back at Kell. Bo was a million miles away and her father was a guarded as always.

"Before I say yes, I do have to disagree." Shani said in her soft voice, one that she rarely used outside of family settings. "With all due respect, sir, I did weigh my options when it came to escape. They were armed all around and intent on killing myself and Brogan. Even if they took me alive...we know what they would have done. Your senior female agents have warned me what they would do with someone like me. So, I took some chances. I know I'm still learning, and I accept the criticism, but I can never apologize for survival."

The room was quiet when she stopped speaking. She had never spoken back to an elder in her life.