The North (Closed)

[heartofcourage]

"I adore you." She murmured softly as he wrapped her in the tightest hug and told her that he loved her. "And I'm sorry for this morning."

"I don't want you to fly with Dzana tomorrow. I would do anything to keep you on the ground. It's going to be incredibly dangerous." Fiona whispered, putting her fear into words.

 

[KieranSoares]

"Don't worry about this morning," he assured her gently. But when she asked him to stay on the ground, he lifted his head to look down at her. "It'll be dangerous no matter where I am, love. Dzana will keep me moving til it's time to go in close with you. On the ground... I won't be able to get out of the way quickly if I have to. But if you're on the ground... I'll be there with you."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Sam, the reality is, no one will come in close with me. There will be distractions, but we all know that it will come down to me and him in the end." Fiona said, leaning her head back to look up into his eyes. "It's what he wants and it is what he'll fight so hard to get."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I don't care what that monster wants, only that as many of us as possible make it out the other side. I know our plans can only go so far... each of us will have t'strike whenever we can. But I'm not goin' far from you. I took on this gift from Dzana t'help you. I'll do whatever I can t'give you tha' opening." His fingers brushed a few strands of hair back and trailed down her cheek. "An' I have t'be there t'step in if... if you can't finish it." He hated saying those words, but it was precisely that possibility he'd made multiple blades for, and made sure each bearer of those scale blades knew what the plan was. If Fiona fell, her husband or her children would finish the job.

 

[heartofcourage]

"mmm..." Fiona murmured as he traced his hand over her cheek and brushed her hair aside. "Another trauma to have to bear because of me." She didn't like the way that anything he said sounded, but she knew that the Ghis family was tight-knit and would fight at her side until the final outcome.

 

[KieranSoares]

"You didn't ask for this fight. You didn't ask for any of this. So I won't have you actin' like it was your doing. You're not the problem, Fiona." Sam knew she had a habit of blaming herself for everything outside her control, and he hated it. But he'd done the same many times, he knew. "You were never the problem. Not when you were little, not when you fought to protect our home, an' not now that you're fightin' to get it back," he insisted quietly, knowing their mutual feeling of shame was rooted deep for different reasons in their youth. "And it won't be your fault whether we win or lose or die."

Sam hugged her tighter and buried his face against her white blonde hair. "I wish you could see all the good you've done an' enjoy it, instead of feelin' terrible for things you could never control."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I'm always the problem, love." Fiona murmured as Sam held her tightly and buried his face against her hair. "Always a problem for someone."

The night would be the worst of Fiona's life. The waiting and the worry, the stress of the situation. Even if there had been sleep that was easily had, she didn't think she would be able to fall asleep. Instead, she retreated to her tent shortly after the feast, not wanting to talk to anyone. Instead, she sat and meticulously went through her armor and her weapons. It was the only thing that made her feel better.

Riley came to her father's side after her mother left, offering him a mug of ale and the comfort of a companion. "She seems distant."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam sat alone after Fiona left, silently dealing with his own worries but not wanting to crowd his wife when he knew he couldn't do anything for her. When Riley approached, he glanced up with a nod of thanks and took the mug. He was slow to drink, but after he finally took a sip, he sighed heavily.

"Your mother has dealt with a lot of demons in her life," he told Riley quietly. "And all of them tear away at her self-worth. An' when life hands her more monsters to deal with, they all overwhelm her makin' her think she's the cause of everyone's strife somehow." Sam stared into the distance, his gaze dark and growing angry for the first time since he'd taken on his new gift. Riley could feel the inferno, but it was kept at bay. Sam couldn't protect Fiona from her own mind and he hated it sometimes.

"She's a fucking hero t'this family, this entire alliance, an' she can't accept it," he growled. "She doesn't deserve t'feel this way."

 

[heartofcourage]

"She's been used as the scapegoat of many things. She's being used by a dragon with a death wish at the moment. Of course, she feels terrible." Riley said. "And tomorrow, we will stand with her and show her that she has the might of an army behind her. She'll truly see what a rider queen is."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Riley..." Sam sighed quietly, but paused for a long moment before murmuring, "Tomorrow, we're going to lose people. Some will die. Some will never be the same. And some will have trauma that will make them wish they were dead some days. Hell, some already do from battles past."

Looking up to meet her gaze, Sam added, "No matter what state your mother is in after the fight, I'll take care of her to the end of my days. There's no question in my mind about that. But... I'm scared that she'll be too damaged to want to go on. We've both pulled the other out of some horrible depressive slumps, but I'm terrified this'll be the one I can't save her from."

Sam would never have shared that worry with his own child in any other circumstance. He tried to keep other worries off his children so they didn't have distractions from their own. But this was one he knew he couldn't keep hidden.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I think the same with Andre all the time." Riley confessed, looking down at her mug of ale. "When will it all end and when will he catch a break? He's not the same man that I met with Ma that day. He's changed and he will never be the same again. Soma and I know what all of this means, Da. The only person that you have to think about hiding from is Tati. The both of us can be your rock if you need."

"Ma will shut off all the doubt and the fear tomorrow. She'll prove herself in battle and then we will be the ones that pick up the pieces. We are resigned to that." She murmured.

 

[KieranSoares]

"I have no doubt tha' your Ma will give Hesperus hell. It's the aftermath I'm afraid of... Tha' she'll never get to enjoy life again."

Sam pulled Riley against his side and laid his head atop hers, nuzzling into her fur. "An' tomorrow I'll see the full extent of what Dzana's given me... I just hope it's enough." He'd mentioned the gift to Riley and Soma but hadn't really told them much about what it was. All they knew was that Sam was the first person in centuries to be given a Caller gift instead of being born into it, and Dzana hadn't had a Caller at all for a long time.

 

[heartofcourage]

Just before midnight, after the feast had wound down and those looking for something more had taken off for the woods, Fiona sat in front of her satchel and withdrew a wooden box that Sam had made for her years ago. It was a sort of jewelry box, one that held things that were the most dear to her. It was light and she could carry it in her saddle bag. Opening the top, she saw her crown nestled inside. She gently ran her fingers over the silver before she pulled out another box from inside and opened it. She quietly removed her wedding bands and her grandmother's ring and placed them inside. With a finality, she took off her necklace and placed it inside as well, carefully closing the lid with a long sigh. If she fell, at least those things would be kept safe for her children.

 

[KieranSoares]

As Fiona sat alone, she could feel Hesperus begin to stir, growing restless after a long slumber near Edinburgh. He began to rise and move about, and she knew the moment he began walking westward. He would arrive after dawn unless he flew. But at the same time, Sam finally returned to the tent and stepped in quietly to lay aside what little gear he'd carried on him that day.

Seeing Fiona with her jewelery box out and her rings missing, Sam took a moment to lean down and press a kiss to her temple as he went, but he didn't want to bother her otherwise unless bidden. He smelled slightly of ale and cider after a few drinks with Riley and his father and uncles, but he'd avoided drinking too much. He made his way to where their armor sat on the wooden stands and he took a moment to inspect it all one last time. He didn't touch hardly any of hers, noticing how she'd laid it out and rearranged it to her own liking. But he did take a moment to check her new sword and repaired scale shield. He couldn't help the years-old habit of inspecting his work over and over.

 

[heartofcourage]

"He's awake and moving." Fiona said softly as she carefully packed her jewelry box away before she turned to watch Sam. "I expect he'll be here just after dawn."

"I'm so tired of the tension and the awkwardness." Fiona murmured. "I want to be free of all of this, Sam."

 

[KieranSoares]

"So do I," Sam murmured. "It's just... hard to know what to do or say. It's awful to face the reality of the situation, but it's horrible in another way t'try to avoid acknowledging it." He took a seat on the edge of their cot and rubbed his hands roughly over his face. "I'm sorry. I know I haven't made it any better."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Nothing will make this better. He has an illness and he's made his choices." Fiona said softly. "He just happens to be a titanic beast and not a squealing despot. This isn't a human we can simply face down and come out on the other side. This is a creature that is connected to me in mind and soul."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I know there's nothin' to be done but lay him to rest," Sam said with a small nod before he turned his gaze to her. He simply looked at his wife for a long moment before coming to her side and kissing her. "I'll try not to hover so much next time we risk our lives," he promised with a weak smile. "Sometimes I forget just how much alike you and Riley are. Stubborn, never want help, always headstrong to a fault, but you always know what you're about." His hand rose to her cheek and his thumb traced her cheekbone. "I love you. If you want me to leave you be, I will. Just... remember I love you no matter what." With that he stepped back to give her space once more while he readied for bed.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I don't want you to leave me be." Fiona said softly, looking up at Sam as he moved to ready himself for bed. "I want to make love to you until I can't think about anything any longer. I want to chase you through the woods like we used to. I want all of that, Sam. I want it all and I'm terrified that I will crumble if I let you be the strong one."

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam paused as she spoke, meeting her pale blue eyes. "... There's still time," he offered softly with a slight motion toward the entrance of the tent. "We won't be able to sleep anyway."

He left aside his task to return to her side. Taking her hand in both of his, he encouraged her to follow. "We have the night to be just Fiona an' Sam, nothin' more. Let the woods take us wherever."

 

[heartofcourage]

Looking at his hands, she let out a long sigh. "I don't know if I know what it feels like to just be Fiona." She said softly as she kissed his cheek and then stepped out of their tent, looking off towards the forest.

 

[KieranSoares]

Sam joined her side, guiding her to the nearest stretch of treeline. "All those times we handed th'kids off t'my parents an' ran off with just the drakes," he murmured to her, "all the nights we spent at your cabin in Inverness before we married. Every time I talked you into dancin' an' we both forgot the rest of the world. That's when we were just Sam an' Fiona."

When they reached the first trees, Sam laid his hand on one as his new gift gave him an insight to the peaceful giants around them. "Every time we just sat alone together with the world shut out for a while... Those are the moments I go back to when I feel like I'll lose myself. Or when we first let Riley help in the forge. Helpin' Soma learn to read. Watchin' Tati explore with the confidence we worked so hard to build. Those memories remind me of who I am outside all the titles an' politics. I'm just Sam... Da. Uncle. Son. But most of all, husband."

Sam turned his gaze back to Fiona, squeezing her hand gently. "I can't just make the bad things go away... But no matter what, I'm here. An' I'll be here long after you find your footing again, love. I know your journey's different from mine an' what helps me may not help you. But we'll get there together all the same."

 

[heartofcourage]

"You think I'll come back to you damaged." Fiona murmured, squeezing his hand back in return. "I know your fears. You also refuse to acknowledge a life beyond me. You are far more were than anyone else in this family. You mated for life."

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile. "And lucky me I'm the one that you chose."

 

[KieranSoares]

"I know we'll all come back damaged. It's just a question of how badly."

Sam looked over when Fiona called him more were than anyone. He offered a smile in return and leaned down to press his forehead to hers for a moment. "I guess the whole 'Bear of Inverness' thing grew on me, hm?"

He stole a kiss and added softly, "Y'want a head start, darlin'? Or should we wander?"

 

[heartofcourage]

"Wander." Fiona said as she looped her arm through Sam's and let him lead the way for once. "I could do with some wandering."

Fiona leaned her head against Sam's shoulder as they simply walked. The longer she was with him in the woods, the more she felt like she could breathe. She didn't know if it was part of Sam's new gift, but she could feel a warmth coming from him that hadn't been there before.

"You know, you've never once said how it feels to be married to a living legend." Fiona murmured, trying to keep the conversation quiet and light.