The Pillow Pit. (Semi-OOC flirt thread.)

[cats]

What juvenile sexual harrassment link? The nuts in your mouth rant by the squirrel? I just posted that today, and it was for you!

Cats thought about something? *Gasps* "So Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?"

Same thing we do every night, talk in pillow pit.


I'm trying to work "You can't have harassment with out her ass." Into a small dialog I could place in my signature.

 

[Shotokan07]

What's there in the pillow pit Brain? Cotton seeds? Oooo Brain, I love cotton seeds! NARF!

 

[TumbleUpStairs]

*pets cats for the hey of it*

my guess would be that sharks with lazer beams on their heads are under the pillows somewhere...deep, deep, deep under it, but still under it.

 

[Vixandra]

I'm back in Cali! SOOO nice to be home, surrounded by familiar mountains and people and such.

*tosses Hy a do-it-yourself blood transfusion kit.*

 

[cats]

Southern California or is the air were you are invisible?

Yeah IK know all the air there isn't polluted, but Las Vegas never has smogy day, every once in a while some one complains about air polution but really there is none compared to my home town.

 

[Vixandra]

Southern California or is the air were you are invisible?

Yeah IK know all the air there isn't polluted, but Las Vegas never has smogy day, every once in a while some one complains about air polution but really there is none compared to my home town.

Aye, So Cal, my home.

And LA gets bad air but out here in the inland desert its not that bad. Quite nice.
*happy sigh*

 

[cats]

I lived close enough to LA that every once in a while the smog would come in force. Still I miss mourning fog, that I use to get in the winter. Also I miss earth quakes, those were some what exciteing, but people I tell that to tend to think I'm nuts. I used to live on a hill, and I supose what I miss most of all is the night time veiw, it's quite a site to be able to see lights of homes and buildings for miles and miles. I had quite a veiw of several highways, which were twin lines of lights one that was red and the other yellow. Quite a sight to see. Vegas also looks fairly nice if you get a good veiw, but it's very difrent you have casinos in the middle of it and the highways are hard to pick out.

As for being outside vegas tends to be nice like where you are, the only time it was really bad outside was the one or two days we had smoke from the fires last year. It's amazing that those fires had ash falling all the way down here. Any how besides those days it's always pretty nice outside, no polution really. The trouble is you really don't go outside much because it's 110 degrees or 60 degrees. except during the two days of spring and fall.

 

[TumbleUpStairs]

...

The trouble is you really don't go outside much because it's 110 degrees or 60 degrees. except during the two days of spring and fall.

we've already had our alloted spring.

 

[TumbleUpStairs]

okay, so. I've submtted two poems, but how do I actually LOOK at them now? I can't find any link to them or anything, though I do have 2 comments already....

 

[Shotokan07]

Attention

TumbleUpStairs has posted new poems. (Click)

 

[Vixandra]

I like the "Do not Disturb" one. Edgy and dark.

And Cats- I won't complain about LA smog for at least a couple of years. Japan is HORRID between the smog, dirt, and dead body ash in the air.

 

[cats]

You raise an interesting point. Also I supose my previous statment shows I am very much human since those who complain here have no worse example and I complain about LA for having no worse example. Or is it a beter example?

You know I would read tumbles poems but they aren't really my thing. Still she has fun toying with her classmates.

 

[Shotokan07]

Yea, that was pretty interesting.

In other part of the world ME: ...I think something tragic happened to me today in my life... somehow it hasn't hit me yet. Is this denial?

 

[Vixandra]

Could be a delayed reaction. I get those sometimes when I can't react to a situation because if I do nothing will get done.
*hugs*

 

[cats]

A few years back a friend of mine was ran over by a moter boat, I found out a few days later. After finding out I retreated to my room and didn't cry for about ten minutes, then I started crying and wasn't sure if I was crying that he died, or if it was because I wasn't crying and I thought I really should of been crying. I think my guess here is that if this something tragic is close to you it takes alot of time to settle in and even then it's hard to understand whats really going on.

Any how what happened.

 

[TumbleUpStairs]

Yea, that was pretty interesting.

In other part of the world ME: ...I think something tragic happened to me today in my life... somehow it hasn't hit me yet. Is this denial?

*gives shoto a hug, encouragement and a week off from minion duties*

luv for shoto!

 

[Shotokan07]

Awe thanks Vix & Tumb. (especially the time off from the classes; are you sure the other minions will like this?) *Hugz back*

Cats, I know what you mean. I've had that a numerous amount of time. First I end up staying numb, then I think about what had happened and also why aren't I doing the normal reaction to it and then I take action upon that.

I don't know if its a big of a deal, but I think in the part of my life at this moment, it is. I start getting uncomfortable and miss my best friend when I tend not to see her for a long periods of time. She likes to travel ALOT, so there are time when I don't see her for weeks to months. Recently, we haven't seen each other since before Christmas, we've talked over the phone once every other week which got me botheredsome. Also, there's this other dude who's been hanging with her ALOT, I didn't really mind that but how they acted with each other. They'd fool around, bite each other, get drunk then go skinny dippin, ...get high (tho this was influenced by her b/f), along with the normal stuff like having breakfast/lunch/dinner. I know her pretty well, and know how her character is. And I have a feeling all this isn't coming from her. So I let her know that I didn't like to hang out with him when them two did this, especially when she have a boyfriend. Now the boyfriend is another story, he's the rich boy with a family and personality/looks to go all the way. So basically, I'm thinking that these two (my friend and her boyfriend) are good as set. Yes, he's not the type to go out going wild or be too playful, but he's good. Nonetheless, I don't like him that much either. lolz But he's on my good side than this dude that's being hanging around. She thinks he's just friend, maybe he is... but he's 31 and we're 21. Why is he hanging out with us?

After the talk, things got apart from her and I. I don't see her much, but hear that she's hanging out with the dude. She invites me, but I politely dismiss the offer. Her mom calls me all the time, calling me that I'm a total stranger now forget about her (mom)... what am I supposed to say? I don't feel comfortable going into her house, just to see her mother...

Anyways, to connect the point.

The story between her and I is this. I'm a total wreck. Through out high school years I was unstable. Other than good grades and athletics, I was a total outcast. I had no social attractability, everyone just rejected me and did their own click, girls didn't give me a chance (which is a big deal for someone growing up at this age), etc. Adding to that, my house is a total wreck. My parents always breathing over my neck with pressuring me to get good grades and become a doctor, and also start becoming the man in the house (under my father ofcourse) and take care of them. Self-esteem and pressure just made me go insane. <<What's that movie with Christian Slater and Nora something from the 80's? Think of me as him in high school>> I didn't let anyone see what's wrong with me, but I started drinking... suicidal... kiling machine. This is why I don't blame the suspects of the Colombine incident of how they reacted as a total craziness. I have a feeling of where they came from. A good movie to watch, kind a bad production... but very good storyline. It's called "Elefant"

I came to college, still the same... hating everything. However, this is where I met this girl... through another childhood friend. I will admit that I was right away attracted to her, but then again I am attracted to any pretty girl. But she was different and I caught on to this. I surpassed just having feelings for her to liking her more to be my friend. Hanging out with her, accompanying her personality... I changed drastically. I got more self-confidence of myself to do things, and didn't care what others thought anymore ( I think), only to know that there's someone that can always know who I am.

-------
Now back to present (nearly 2 years later), I get a call from her last Saturday with a "what's up? and how's life" our usual thing we've asking each other but not really anything much coming out. However, she lets me know that she had broken up with her boyfriend (again? they've been doing this for a long time) however this time she tells me its been 4 weeks now. Not to say I was surprised but felt odd because they used to make it up within days. So thinking she'll be free more often than I can grab her, I asked her if she's free the next day (Sunday), no she's not. The 30 year old dude turned 31 that day, so she's going out with him for dinner and something else perhaps. (CAN ANYONE GET WHERE THIS IS GETTING AT?) Figured as much, I ended with "Oh, hope you guys enjoy the night out and let him know I wished him his birthday" (Some Good friend I can end up being...) Monday comes... I finally got a car to drive in and also completely healed up, so I head over to her house to surprise her around 8ish. On Sat, she told me that she'll be home all day and she'll be studying. To my amazement, I see this dude's car outside parked (not irrelevant, where I used to park my car)... I didn't stop but just keep driving away. I had a surprised feeling, but didn't know how to react to it. I went to my dojo to train and got out a little after midnight. I didn't know why but I wanted to pass by her house before going home.

...His car was still parked there. Before, not knowing how to react I was trying to come with some excuse like maybe he's helping her study (he's a TA) perhaps she's using him, something... But now, its way past 12... and she's the type who will go to sleep at 10. I stayed in the middle of the street, paused can't think of what to think... or feel. Ever since, this is bother me. I don't think I'm in love with her... but then what am I in?

 

[Shotokan07]

I know that I have nothing to say in this. Its none of my business, but I have a feeling that I should. Why?

I know I have a lot of shits to take care of in my life, but I don't want to lose her from my life. She's family to me, it'll be a home wreck for me to lose her...

 

[TumbleUpStairs]

hm. *hugs shoto again*

*ahems timidly*
my best thought on that, after a long moment of ponderage, is that you've expressed your opinion honestly, and that's all you can do but be there for her just like you have been. It's a not-especially-hopeful, and certainly non-ideal kind of position to find yourself in, I know, but (quothe my father's side of the family: ) "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still" (though in this case i suppose it would be 'woman' and not 'man').

If it'd give you any kind of miniscule chance at possibly feeling better, ask her a bit, maybe, how she feels about him, what they see when they go somewhere...nothing too far below the surface of things easy to talk about unless she's willing to tell you. Maybe he's changed a bit, and isn't so bad for her now, or maybe he is, but the only way to know is to ask. Just be willing to accept that she may not give you answers.

At least, that kind of thing is what I've found helps when I'm gentile with my friends, which I have to be reasonably often. Never force, never assume, support and love as unconditionally as you can. Especially if they don't get much other emotional support.

And yes, it's your business. She's your friend.

as to his age...that one can be tricky. Judging by my own experiances (not quite as numerous as the rest of everyone, but still more than I'd prefer to have) not ALL older people are just hanging out with you (collectivly) to take some kind of advantage of you at some point. Sometimes they do, but not every single one. I've personally found it's the ones the same age as you who would grind your fingers with their feet if you were dangling off a cliff.

I will leave the love bit alone and to other people. I'm still too new to it to have an especially valid or cohesive idea to share.

This all reminds me of the...crap...that went on last year in my school in a kind of way, so you have my sympathy and empathy *pets the Shoto*

 

[Arc da Rat]

*sigh*

Okies this is a tricky thing to answer ...

Well 1st thing is you should tell her how ya feel ... ex: You would like to spend time w/ her but just the 2 of ya, w/o this guy cos you don't feel comfortable around him (or something like that) ...

2nd ... It is yer business ... She is your best friend & best friends should look out for each other ...

Now how yer coming off to me is that you love her in a brotherly fashion ... Dunno if it goes ay deeper than that ... But that is the way I am reading it ...

As for the hanging out thing ... I can tell ya from personal experince that older people do hang & go out w/ younger ones ... Most of my non high school friends are any where from 5 to 10 years younger than I am ... & they are usually the ones that get me to go from the straight & narrow ... LOL

Even at work (B&N) most of the workers (75%) are younger than I am ... So am always surrounded by them ... *shrugs*

 

[TumbleUpStairs]

*sigh*

Okies this is a tricky thing to answer ...

...

Now how yer coming off to me is that you love her in a brotherly fashion ... Dunno if it goes ay deeper than that ... But that is the way I am reading it ...

...

that's the way I was getting it too.

 

[Shotokan07]

Tumb, that was thoroughly well explained. BRAVO!

Now for the brotherly relationship... I don't think it is. I do care about alot, but I don't have any sexual attraction to her, just a companion I guess.

Arc, I have already told her that. I let her know that altho he is a cool dude, I don't feel comfortable hanging out with him. Prior to this, things changed. One day I accidently ran into her in campus, usually she'd jump onto me (glomp), give me a hug and a kiss. But this time around, she didn't even keep an eye contact while talking... and this I know for sure that she always keep a good eye contact.

Regardless, yes... She is my close friend, even if she doesn't see me that way. I will try to keep in touch tonight before karate or perhaps tomorrow. I just have this bad gut feeling inside me, usually my gut is right.

Also... my other gut feeling says to...

Glomp you both! *Tackles Arc and Tumb* Thanks ~

 

[Arc da Rat]

*Squeals*

Group hug ...

*Then bops Shoto on the head*

Why do ya think I said brotherly ... Because ya care for her in a non sexual way ...

 

[Shotokan07]

*Rubs my lump* Yea I know, but I wouldn't mind keeping a window open for other things in the future. I care for her alot and I would love to see something happen between us, but if it doesn't; that's still alright. *pause* you know what I mean? Right?!

 

[Arc da Rat]

*Heavy Sigh*

Yes I know what ya mean ...