The Sex Coach (Closed thread)

[Slut Pride]

The sign on the door read Eastbrook Intimacy Clinic,though very little about the small building looked like a clinic at all,in fact until last year it was an old fire station.
Dr. Sandra Jones bought the building and renovated it to turn it into a clinic for sexual intimacy counseling and instruction.

Starting at what once was the covered front porch of the fire house,there was a small lobby/waiting area and a reception desk,(though the receptionist who sat at that desk was only part time and wasn't there at the moment.) in what used to be the large bay where the fire trucks were once parked was the main "classroom" it had a large dry erase board with a pull down screen for power point presentations,an over stuffed chair, a small table and a twin sized futon in the front of the room and 12 futon love seats that folded down to twin beds with a small night stand on either side in blue or pink with matching pillows (blue on the left,pink on the right) the drawers of those night stands contained various items ranging from notebooks and mechanical pencils to condoms and massage oils.

Also on the ground floor was what used to be the first aid room that now served as a fully functional exam room, and three small rooms set up like a bedroom,a motel room,and part of a living room.
These had hidden cameras that could be viewed in the "Observation room" (formerly the hose storage room) where couples could simulate various scenarios and the doctor could watch and take notes on where they needed improvement.

Upstairs was her private apartment that included the kitchen,the remodeled communal bathroom and showers that now featured a bath tub big enough for three or more people if she felt so inclined,and a walk in closet you could park a truck in.
There was also a comfortably furnished room with a couch,kitchenette and pool table that she referred to as the "employee lounge" though it was just her and part time receptionist Rita right now until she hired a new assistant,so it mostly went unused.
And last but not least was the Station Chiefs office that was now hers,where she sat at her desk going over her notes for the new client she was going to be interviewing in about half an hour.

Normally she was used to teaching groups,older couples mostly,people who were raised in a different era and needed to be taught that sex was about more than just making babies,that it could and should also be fun. Or her bread and butter,couples that were having problems with intimacy and were making one last effort to save their relationship.

This client was a little different,his name was Kyle and he was in his early 20's,he had been raised in some kind of religious environment that was highly repressed sexually, and rather than try to stumble through the process of learning about sex and his own sexuality on his own using the old "trial and error" method,he was coming to see Sandra to learn in a more formal class study sort of fashion.

Today was just an initial interview,to see what exactly he wanted to learn and decide of the best way for her to teach him,she may need to find him a study partner.

Fortunately she had someone in mind, Brook was a young woman who also had very little experience with sex and started classes with her boyfriend Jeff,then it turned out he had only suggested the classes as a way to meet other women so he could try to talk her into a threesome,and when she found out he was cheating on her with another woman from class...they broke up.
She still wanted to learn but without a partner she couldn't be part of the regular group,perhaps she could be the new clients study partner for a while...also a possible choice for her new assistant?

Sandra stood up and checked herself in the full length mirror,she was wearing a very conservative pants suit in a sort of cranberry twill with her hair pulled back in a bun and her lab coat,with her reading glasses she looked every bit the scientist you might expect to see in a more traditional clinic,never guessing for a moment the underneath that lab coat and suit was a stunning 38 year old former high school cheerleader who stood 5'7" tall,had long blond hair and crystal blue eyes and measurements 34-26-34.

She went down stairs to the reception desk where she would wait for him and conduct her interview.

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b298/spazmodious/charaters on literocita/Jennifer-75.jpg
ooc:this picture is not ideal,but its the closest I could find.

 

[tyler556]

Introducing Kyle.

“Can I help you?” I ask the old lady in front of me as she awkwardly tries to make her way up the steps onto the bus with her bags of groceries. She turned and beams at me with twinkling eyes.

“Thank you” she says appreciatively. I take some of the bags, which eases her climb. We each pay and I follow her to the seat she chooses and sit down beside her. We put the bags of groceries on the floor in front of us. The bus pulls away from the curb, having given us only just enough time to get settled. The old lady turns and smiles at me again. “Thank you, young man. It’s so nice to know that there are still good-hearted young people about now days.” She pauses a moment as she stares into my eyes. “You know, you remind me of a great-grandson of mine. He’s a bit younger than you but not unlike you to look at. Wait a moment.”

The old lady begins burrowing through her bag looking for something. I glance across her and out the bus window, noticing a sign we pass on the roadside with scantily clad women on it—advertising something or other. Even though I left the cult a whole eighteen months ago it still seems peculiar to me how much sex is brandished everywhere in mainstream life. “It’s probably from being in the cult since I was a kid,” I reassure myself. Everyone else in the outside world seems to see it as normal. I know not everyone likes it—but no one else seems continually surprised by it like I am. The psychologist told me it was because I’d had an unconventional belief system instilled in me. But now it was time for me to establish my own belief system. To acknowledge this she has insisted I refer to the community now as ‘the cult’. I had to recognise it for what it really was if I was to integrate healthily into mainstream society and be free to find my own identity. It is true - there is a lot I want to put behind me. Not all of it though – after all there was a lot of good in the community too – and it had been my life for so long. But the psychologist was right that there was enough bad in it to make me want to name and shame those aspects in my mind. So I could move on from my hang-ups. Particularly the sexual ones. Yes, the sexual…

“Ah! Hear it is!” exclaims the old women, waking me from my self-indulgent introspection. I look over to see her fumbling through a small photograph album. She stops at a page, holds it up to me and stabs the image in the picture with her finger. “My great grandson. Seventeen years old. Like you.” I’m not seventeen— rather, almost twenty-two. But I have to admit the guy does resemble me – average build and height, black hair, blue eyes and complexion tending toward paleness. “He has a lovely smile,” says the women dotingly. I almost went to say “He takes after you,” for his smile is like the old woman’s. But something holds me back.

Sure I’m able to help people out – like helping the woman with her bags. ‘Do unto others…’ was instilled into me in the cult. But when it comes to sharing emotion or any kind of intimacy it’s like I freeze up. Emotion was frowned upon in the cult. Because of this philosophy there were strict rules about what kinds of relationships were and weren’t allowed and by whom and what behaviour was and wasn’t expectable within relationships. There were strict rules around sexual matters in every sense. For someone of my age and position, as a then teenager, the notion of romantic or sexual relationships was strictly forbidden. I accepted this. But like a lot of aspects of the cult, something innate in me knew it wasn’t really balanced or normal. Not to ignore feelings completely. (One thing I didn’t obey regarding the sex rules was the ‘no masturbation’ rule. I tried to keep the rule for a while, but gave in. I figured it wasn’t hurting anyone else, and I liked doing it. I had my own little secret hide away places to jack-off. Haha! I didn’t call it that back then though. I didn’t learn worldly slang till I was on the outside.) We were told the outside world was basically evil, and while again I did not actually believe this extreme view in my heart, I knew that facing the outside world would be difficult for someone like me who had grown up in the cult and that it would pose its own problems and challenges. I wanted to get my high school education out of the way – albeit a home schooled one, so to speak - before tacking the issue of the wider world. But I knew I did want to tackle it eventually. And here I am now doing that. When I’m not selfishly ruminating about my cares and anxieties that is!


I watch the woman put the album back in her bag. I look ahead – the bus rumbles on. Can’t be all that much further…

“What’s your name?” the old woman inquires.

“Kyle,” I reply.

“I’m Daphne. Do you have a girlfriend Kyle?” The woman asks.

“No, not at the moment” I answer. It is true. I’d had two girlfriends since coming out of the cult. But neither were exactly positive experiences, really. The first, Nadine, lost patience with my awkwardness about sex. And the second, Alicia, although sweet and patient, I chose to break off from. It didn’t seem fair to her – me freezing up any time either of us attempted to make any physical or intimate move. I was getting more phobic about sex and intimacy as the relationship went on, not less.

“You’ll find someone nice soon…a nice young man like you” I smile to show I appreciate the compliment. The bus turns a corner. “You going somewhere nice?” asks Daphne. The old lady’s nice, but at the same time I think she’s starting to get a bit nosey too.

“Um…an interview,” I say.

“Oh,” she says. I add nothing. I can hardly tell a stranger let alone an old lady that I’m going for an interview with a sex coach to help me get over my sex phobia. But the lady doesn’t ask any more, anyway.

The bus arrives in the location where the sex therapy clinic is supposed to be. I press the bell.

“Oh you get out here?” says Daphne. “I keep going.” Before the bus stops I ask the lady if she’ll be all right carrying her groceries and things. “Yes, I’ll be fine. I usually have to manage. But it was nice meeting you, Kyle. And good luck with your interview!” She gives me her sparkly-eyed smile again, and I smile back.

Once off the bus I watch as it pulls away from the curb. How ironic that the most stylish form of transport I can afford is a city bus. (The factory job only stretches to that.) Yet here I am also able to afford expensive private sex coach lessons with a renowned therapist. Just as well mega-rich black sheep of the family Uncle Max was: 1. eager about my sanity and development and 2. taking care of the bills.

The clinic is just a block’s walk away. It turns out to be quite a small building, but the sign on the door proves without a doubt it is the right place – “Eastbrook Intimacy Clinic.” There’s some other information on the sign including the name “Dr Sandra Jones.” That’s the woman I talked to on the phone and exchanged some emails with who is evidently going to be my therapist. Strangely, while I feel a bit apprehensive about things I don’t feel all that nervous. Not as nervous as I expected. After all, things couldn’t get a lot worse in the sex department. I wonder what Dr Jones will be like. Time to find out, I suppose. I take a deep breath and let out a sigh before I open the door and walk into the reception area.

 

[Slut Pride]

Sandra heard the bell on the door chime and looked up from the folder she was reading to see a young man with dark hair,clear blue eyes and a manor of confident resolve,come walking in.

She stood and extended her hand in greeting. "You must be Kyle,it's good to meet you,I'm Dr. Sandra Jones."

They shook hands and she indicated for him to have a seat and offered him something to drink. "I have coffee,iced tea or cold water if you would like one?"

Once they were both seated comfortably,she engaged him in a little small talk ease any nervousness and then began her interview.

So if I understand the situation correctly,you were raised in a highly repressed and restrictive community based on rigid religious doctrine,then left when to reached adulthood and now want to learn how to integrate basic human sexuality into your life,and choose to learn in a more structured way rather than random trial and error.
Is that right?"

 

[tyler556]

A sip of berry water...

A woman in a white lab coat rises from a chair and walks toward me. Probably Dr Jones? She extends her hand in greeting.

"You must be Kyle. It’s good to meet you. I'm Dr. Sandra Jones." We shake hands. Her hand is soft and warm. It’s hard to tell Dr Jones’s age. She’s older than me – how old do you have to be to be a doctor? Maybe she’s in her thirties. Her manor is professional, but warm. Her face is attractive.

The doctor offers me a seat and she brings me a glass of iced water. “It’s got a hint of berry in it. Is that okay, or would you rather have plain?”

“It’ll be fine.” I take it and sip. A pleasant taste. Dr Jones sits down opposite me armed with pen and clipboard. We talk a bit about my trip to the clinic and how long we’ve each lived in the district. Then the questions start get a bit more personal about my situation. And then she says:

“So if I understand the situation correctly, you were raised in a highly repressed and restrictive community based on rigid religious doctrine, then left when to reached adulthood and now want to learn how to integrate basic human sexuality into your life, and choose to learn in a more structured way rather than random trial and error.
Is that right?"

“Yeah. I’ve had a go at the trial and error thing but it only seemed to result in error and things seemed to get worse instead of better. I’m attracted to women but I find it hard to relax whenever I try to get intimate with them. I just sort of freeze up. I want to but it’s like something stops me. Probably a hang-up from the community – I mean the cult – I mean, ah – yeah. Then it becomes sort of a thing in itself – the anxiety I mean. Something in itself to be hung up on. I don’t want to inflict that on someone else, right.. Some girls could hack it but some wouldn’t want to. And I dunno if the process of trying to get over things and move forward is something fair to inflict on others. Well, that’s the way I see it. So my Uncle Max – he’s heard you’re good and you might be what I need right now to help me forward a bit. I figured it’s worth trying. And I’m keen to make progress. Does that make some sense?


Dr Jones has been listening and nodding.

 

[Slut Pride]

He spoke very clearly and honestly with a great deal of intelligence,and seemed a very good candidate for her help.

She assured him that what he said had mad a lot of sense and applauded the maturity in which he was approaching this difficult situation.

"I think I can help you if you are willing to follow my course of study,and I honestly believe that you will do well with it,you seem to be a very intelligent sincere young man."

She consulted her notes as she continued,"What I would like to do is see you once a week for a one hour private session to talk about the mental and emotion reasons for you intimacy issues and where you need improvement, and also once or twice a week for lessons,I have a group class but its mostly for couples,I do however have a woman close to you age who's partner dropped out of the class and she has nobody to study with,if you don't mind I would like to pair her with you..."

He looked a little nervous so she quickly reassured him,"don't worry it's just for work on things like how to talk or approach a woman,not actual sex...or anything hands on.though at some point we may have to address that,but its a ways off yet.

She is very nice and also inexperienced,though maybe a little more experienced than you,but I think you will benefit more from having a live partner to interact with rather than an imaginary one. That is if you agree."

 

[tyler556]

“She is very nice and also inexperienced,though maybe a little more experienced than you,but I think you will benefit more from having a live partner to interact with rather than an imaginary one. That is if you agree," said Dr Jones.

I’m thinking she’s nice – Dr Jones. She’s professional and attractive but also intelligent and she genuinely seems to care about helping me. Her program for me sounds like what I’m looking for and I feel already that I can trust her. This helps me relax and feel more at ease – both about the therapy – and oddly about sex in general.

Her complementing me also made me feel good and more confident. And I’m suddenly feeling more motivated to get started. I take another sip of my berry water that’s beside me. A sweet after taste. A bit like I feel after my first encounter with with Dr Jones.

 

[Slut Pride]

Sandra was pleased thar he was so receptive to treatment and liked her suggestion about Brook,she smiled warmly and stood up. "Exelent,why don't you let me show you around a little so you can get an idea of the sort of lessons you will be learning and how it works."

She lead him to the main classroom first,"I don't like desks,I feel that you retane information better when your more relaxed and the futons can pull down into a bed for classes in physical intimacy,the covers are changed and cleaned ater each class and most of your one on one lessons an lessons with Brook will take place here."

 

[tyler556]

The first thing that comes to mind when I enter the classroom is ‘communal living’. Multiple beds in one room – like we had at the community. However, this set up is more stylish and co-ordinated, and the pastel pink and blue colours are more soothing and relaxing. Apart from a white board and screen it doesn’t really resemble a classroom at all.

For a moment I imagine thirteen couples making love at the same time on the futon beds, but then quickly dismiss the though from my mind before my brain goes numb. I don’t want Sandra to think I can’t even handle a tour round the building.

Sandra smiles at me reassuringly. She has lovely full lips. She is wearing lipstick but it is not so obvious – a more natural colour. Blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She reminds me of Sabrina – a girl who was in the cult for a while when I was about fifteen. She was around my age and we got on well together. She was blonde, blue-eyed and had pretty lips too. She and her family left without warning. I wasn’t told why. Many things were hushed up in the cult – especially from us kids. Each age group had strict roles and responsibilities and nobody veered from the rules. Or if they did, they soon disappeared. I missed Sabrina when she went. When I masturbated in secret I used to think of her. I imagined I could caress that long blonde hair and kiss those lovely pink lips...

 

[Slut Pride]

Kyle looked around the classroom,and she gave him a minute to let it sink in before continuing the tour and showing him to the exam room.
"This is my exam room,it's mostly for couples or individuals who are having problems becoming physically aroused,you most likely wont need this room for that reason,but I also get at least one or two people a month who pull a muscle or trip on something,and I treat anxiety attacks here as well,so you see there is more here than just lessons being taught."

Next she showed him the roleplay rooms. "In the rooms we can simulate different environments that you might find yourself in on a date,and I can observe your body language and other factors that may have an effect on how you interact with women,they are currently set up as a typical bedroom,motel room and living room,but if need be they can also be set up to simulate a movie theater,restaurant,and a bus,using different props stored elsewhere.
This will also be part of your lessons,but not right away"

With that she led him back to where they started,and after they had sat back down she asked "Any questions?"

 

[tyler551]

(found it)

As Sandra shows me around the rest of the rooms on the ground level, I become increasingly impressed with her obvious efficiency and her well-organised set-up. As well as that she is clearly intelligent and sensitive. I feel I could relax under her guidance without worrying about making a fool of myself or about being guided in some foolish embarrassing direction. I am somewhat in awe of Dr Jones before we have even started any training.

 

[tyler551]

cont.

"Any questions?” she asks with a smile.

"I really like your set-up. And I really think you could help me. You've explained things well so I don't have any questions really." I think for a moment. "I was just wondering if you prefer me to call you Dr Jones or Sandra?" In my mind I add 'or Sandy', but of course I don't say it out loud. I’m not being disrespectful. It’s just that private jokes in my head are a bit of a habit of mine. And they usually come when I’m feeling more relaxed and in a more optimistic and playful mood. Dr Jones has helped me feel that way by giving me hope and a little confidence.

 

[Slut Pride]

"I try to maintain a professional feel to my classes,so Dr. Jones in the classroom please,but you may call me Sandra when we are in a less formal setting."
She gave him a warm smile to reassure him that she was not offended by the question.

"So if you heve no further questions,lets take a moment to go over what you already know about sex and intimacy,and some of the experiences you've had so far,so we have a good idea where to start with your lessons."

She took up her pad and pen to take some notes as she added,"And don't worry,anything you say here is held in the strictest confidence."

 

[tyler556]

(Odd. Autologged me in this time with my first username)

I pause to gather my thoughts. Doing the talking is a bit harder than doing the listening. But Dr Jones’s face looks calm and reassuring, which helps.

“Well…I know the biological facts about sex. Well, the main things anyway. I was a bit ignorant until I left the com- cult. But…um…I’ve learnt you can pretty much find out anything on the internet in the outside world if you can’t or don’t want to find it out some other way.

In the cult I grew up in there was as strict no sex before marriage rule. Cult members were only permitted to marry other cult members within the community or other associated communities. Most marriages were arranged by the leaders. For married couples sexual relations were restricted to once a season between husbands and wives. When I’ve told people on the outside that some laugh. But it is linked into the community’ beliefs about nature and the calendar. Sex was seen as not at all for pleasure but solely for producing children. Although I suspect there may have been another reason for this rule.

In the community males and females generally slept in separate quarters. Homosexuality was forbidden. Masturbation was forbidden.” I pause. “But I did it.” I avoided the doctor’s eyes. Not because I was ashamed of my past behaviour but because I suddenly had the strange feeling that I was looking down on my life and my past from above – like I was talking about a different me than I am now. Like my past life was something of a dream. I forced my mind back to the matter at hand. “Masturbated, I mean.” I look the good doctor in the eye. “I was beaten once when another kid guessed I’d been masturbating and they told on me. A few other times I was beaten just as a reminder not to do it – although no one court me wanking those times. It was just a reminder. The beatings weren’t major. Although they did hurt. My father didn’t do them. He died when I was six. That’s when Mum took me and my younger brother and sister to live in the community. They’re still there. Other men in the community dished out punishment. I think they really believed they were doing the right thing. I don’t hold a grudge. They didn’t mean anything, really. No, I don’t hold a grudge. I think some of the things they did to me were wrong. But they did good for me as well. It wasn’t like bad stuff wasn’t happening all the time.

I wasn’t sexually abused or anything. If you’re wondering. But I think the beatings might be part of why I find getting intimate with a girl hard now. That and maybe that I was taught for so long that intimacy was wrong. I don’t believe that now. In fact I never really did. I always new, even as a kid that some things in the cult were wrong. Not natural, like. False. Like everyone was hiding from something.

I got on okay with my Mum by the way and my brother and sister. But Mum’s always been a bit unstable. Perhaps it’s since Dad died. But I can’t remember before that so well. Only bits and pieces. In the community everyone was meant to be part of one big family, and our original families weren’t meant to matter so much. The lifestyle was regimented and predictable. Routine and ritual. To some extent that seemed to work and is what I think keeps the community going. However, part of the philosophy was to be wary of emotion. It was theorised that emotionalism had been the downfall of many a community and thus emotion in a general sense was seen as the enemy.”

I am suddenly aware of how much I've been talking. Am I rambling? I try to read Dr Jones’s face. She sounds interested, but maybe she’s just being patient. “Um...is this the kind of thing you want to hear?” I ask, feeling uncertain.

 

[Slut Pride]

She listened carefully making sure to let him talk about whatever he wanted to share without braking his train of thought and was rewarded by the open and honest nature of his response,it was truly refreshing and rare to find a many (especially one his age) that was so willing to recognize his hang ups,much less admit to them.

She could see that he was going to be easy to work with and she was looking forward to helping him learn the skills to lead a well rounded life.

Looking both amazed at this discovery and relieved that is was going to work out so well,she gave him a smile of encouragement before giving him her initial thoughts.
"Yes this is a very good start,I can see you will do very well with this process,I wish more of the men who find their way in here were as honest to themselves and willing to communicate their needs as you have just been."

She took off her glasses and set them and her notes down on the desk,sitting back in a more casual position. "You have given me some really good things to work with here,for example,, the fact that you lived in a setting without even casual intimacy,the basic human contact that is so vital to our well being as it allows us to connect to one another emotionally by making that person more real in our minds by adding the sensation of touch to our memories of them,basically lets our mind accept that the really exist because we can feel them as well as hear them."

She leaned forward and placed her hand gently on top of his,"See for most of us,something simple like this,a casual touch like this is mean to imply a sense of sympathy or reassurance and is so common we hardly ever give it a moments thought. But with your background,your first impulse might be to freeze up or pull away,because it was reinforced in your mind that such contact was wrong,and there would be some sort of reprimand or punishment from someone if you let it happen."

She removed her hand and sat back. "It a little bit like Pavlovian Response,train a mind to associate a physical action with a negative repercussion, that even years later the same stimulus can invoke the trained reaction. That's where Brook will be able to help, we can do practice exercises where she holds your hand for various reasons in different settings unit you are comfortable with that kind of simple touch,then move one to other non sexual forms of affection and ease you into the process of more sexual forms of intimacy,that way by the time we get to that part you will already have gotten to know her and are a little more comfortable around her,making the process less awkward."

 

[tyler556]

Dr Jones's Touch

"Yes this is a very good start,I can see you will do very well with this process,I wish more of the men who find their way in here were as honest to themselves and willing to communicate their needs as you have just been."

I wasn’t actually fishing for complements or anything. But once again Dr Jones’s comments have encouraged me and injected a bit more confidence in me.

Dr Jones removes her glasses and sets them and her notes down on the desk,sitting back in a more casual position. Without her glasses she looks more relaxed and also even more attractive. Her face looks softer and her expression warmer still. She goes on to explain how human emotional connection and physical touch are important for our well being.

Then she leans forward and places her hand on top of mine. My initial feeling is to pull away – although I didn’t. This feeling is replaced with inner tension. Dr Jone’s is talking, “…with your background,your first impulse might be to freeze up or pull away,because it was reinforced in your mind that such contact was wrong,and there would be some sort of reprimand or punishment from someone if you let it happen." Of course, she is right

I consciously choose to relax myself. Dr Jones’s touch grows soft and warm and feminine. For a moment rather than doctor and client we were simply two human beings with the same needs and vulnerabilities. It felt good.

Dr Jones removes her hand and sits back. She talks of Brook and how she will help me move forward in this area.

Feeling more trusting of the doctor and more motivated to work with her, I initiate: “Do you want me to tell you about my sexual and relationship experience since I left the cult?”

 

[Slut Pride]

Sandra nodded and took up her notebook again as she answered his question.
"Of course,anything you would like to share,the more I know about your experiences the better I can put together a program that fits your needs,I will take notes if you don't mind,but remember they are just for me and will be kept confidential."

 

[tyler556]

I begin: "Well, It's eighteen months since I left the cult. There was quite a bit culture shock as far as lots of things were concerened. I've talked a lot about that with the psychologist I saw...As far a sex in particular is concerned - yeah, that was a bit of a shock. Society being so sexually liberal and open I mean. I'd been sheltered from the real world for so long. Well, all my life, really. It's not that Iwas so much shocked by it, but felt alien within it. A bit like landing on another planet in another civilization or something. But I've got used to it now - well, sort of, yes and no. Actually probably not. What I mean I suppose is I've got more used to it.

I joined some clubs and made some friends. Got about with some people. Some from the factory I work at. Some of them were women. It has mostly been okay. I can do friends. There's a point though I find it hard to relate. Gettin closer I mean and allowing myself to be vulnerable. Perhaps afraid of losing control of my feelings. I dunno. I feel I can be more open with you Doctor because, well, I know your job is to hear people be open and to encourage them to be open. And you send the message that I cant trust you clearly. That message in everyday life isn't so obvious from people.

(to be continued)

 

[tyler556]

“Over the past year I’ve been out with girls – young women occasionally. Dates, I suppose. Mostly being cheered on by the guys at work. To begin with it was just one offs. People I’d been jacked up with. Sometimes they’d know about my background. Other times they didn’t. To begin with I just wanted to get a feel for going out with a woman. And so the guys would warn them that this was where I was at. Physically speaking there was never anything more than a goodnight kiss. Later I tried sustaining a relationship with a woman. For longer than one evening that is. I had two girlfriends. Not at the same time, mind. There was Nadine. Quite outspoken, knew my issues to a degree. She lost patience with my awkwardness about sex. She found another more willing and able guy. And the second, Alicia, although sweet and patient, I chose to break off from. It didn’t seem fair to her – me freezing up any time either of us attempted to make any physical or intimate move. I was getting more phobic about sex and intimacy as the relationship went on, not less. We were together for about five weeks. We did try, mind. Physically we got as far as some mutual masturbation. But my anxiety made it difficult. It sort of blocked any progress.

I’m not the kind of guy who wants to jump into bed with every girl. Maybe that’s part of my upbringing too. I want sex. I mean, I want to embrace sex as part of me – not to have it beat me. But I want it to mean something more than, than…more than just performing.

I’ve always masturbated – we’ll since I was a teenager. I like masturbating. I think I have a normal sex drive. As far as I can gather I’m straight. I’m attracted to women. I watch porn sometimes. When I masturbate. Um…Anything else you want to know?”

 

[Slut Pride]

As Kyle spoke of his experiences with sexuality Sandra thought to herself that she was going to have her work cut out for her,he was going to need a lot of help,but she was confident that it was nothing she couldn't handle.

"Now you mentioned mutual masturbation,lets talk about that for a minute,how did that come about,was it your idea or hers? Who initiated it,did either of you climax?"

She hoped that this line of questioning was not going to be too much for him,but if there was anything that she could learn from him today that might give her some insight as to how his libido worked it was likely to be found here,she picked up her pen to jot down notes,but also remembered to be sure to give him a reassuring smile to let him know that whatever he told her she was not here to judge,only to help.

 

[tyler551]

As Kyle spoke of his experiences with sexuality Sandra thought to herself that she was going to have her work cut out for her,he was going to need a lot of help,but she was confident that it was nothing she couldn't handle.

"Now you mentioned mutual masturbation,lets talk about that for a minute,how did that come about,was it your idea or hers? Who initiated it,did either of you climax?"

She hoped that this line of questioning was not going to be too much for him,but if there was anything that she could learn from him today that might give her some insight as to how his libido worked it was likely to be found here,she picked up her pen to jot down notes,but also remembered to be sure to give him a reassuring smile to let him know that whatever he told her she was not here to judge,only to help.

The mutal masturbation, I think. The part I almost edited out. Dr Jones knows how to get to the point when it suits. The mutual masturbation, I think to myself again - my euphemism for a failed attempt at getting a leg over? I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I tried again:

'Alicia was a pretty girl - well, woman I suppose. She works at the factory - where I work. A different shift but I was introduced to her by some of the others. We got on alright. She was your 'eager to please type', I suppose. Anything goes type. I don't really like puttin people in boxes, but she was so much like that I don't think it's an unfair thing to say. We went out a few times. Spent some time together at each others places. She was accepting of me. And I was accepting of her, really. But apart from that we had nothing in common.

I read Dr Jones's face. She nods calmly and looks understanding.

I go on: "You'd think that after dating a while you'd gradually find more things in common. But for us it seem to me we were finding less in common. We did some kissing, then as time went on some light petting. I found the experience okay, but a bit cardboard to be honest - a bit like most of my experiences on dates. It's like I feel a bit of a numbness and an awquardness when I'm doing it. Like something is trying to hold us apart - not physically but like in my head. I can't enjoy it like I feel I should and this makes me self-conscious i guess. Then I start to worry about my performance and I know that only makes me more anxious."

I feel a little anxious suddenly right now. My lips feel a bit dry. I turn my head away from Dr Jones and lick my lips a little. I turn back.

"Well, one night things were going better than usual. Alicia had come back to my place after we went to see a movie. I was feeling very attracted to her that night. She was wearing a really sexy outfit. We made out a bit on the couch. She removed her bra and encouraged me to fondle her breasts. Then lifted her dress and guided my hand to rub her...um...sorry I don't know the correct term but I guess i say vagina or pussy. I was strange. Strange doing that. I liked it but

(To cont.)

 

[tyler551]

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