The specialist (closed)

[intriguess]

It was her annual gynecological exam, and she felt like crap. Not as bad as after her husband died over a year ago, but worse than she had felt when she was on the pill. And after a lot of tests, nothing was certain. She wasn't anemic, her hormone levels were normal.

But she felt like a zombie, a high functioning zombie, but still a zombie. Work, well she was coasting by at work, she was being given 'easy' assignments, everyone felt for her after the death of her husband, she'd spent about three months feeling horrific, then she'd had six months of almost normal experience, but the last three months had been purgatory.

So she'd been referred to a "Specialist"

Here it was Friday afternoon, and Micah was waiting in a quiet little reception area. She was wearing dark gray slacks. Black boots, black tank top, a heavy gray sweater, her long dark hair swept up in a clip. She felt tired, she wasn't sleeping very well of late, and it showed. She always said her hair was her best feature, easy to take care of, long dark luscious, but her friends said it was her hazel eyes. Her husband had said it was her breasts, which she had always dressed down. She jokingly said Victoria didn't make secrets in her size, and he'd countered that he didn't mind shopping online.

She supposed that was one of the great things about him, he had accepted her dumpy exterior and molten interior. Sex, well she tried not to think of that, it only made her feel worse.

Thinking of him made her feel worse, she never thought she'd be a widow at 33, but here she was, she had gotten over his death, even tried dating, but feeling like crap made it hard to want to date.

 

[TirithIre]

Doctor Rammond Saran was one of the best psychologists within the country. Not simply a city, nor a state... but the entire country. His methods were sometimes questionable... what wasn't questionable though... were the results that he was able to achieve! He had received the referral letter from her gynecologist a week before her appointment.

Perfect physical health... obvious trauma from losing her husband... a newly widowed woman whom needed to move on. Her physical 'drive' seemed gone, which was understandable. Rammond though was certain he could 'get results'. When she had arrived she had seen the lovely receptionist perk right up, she smiling brightly. " Ahh, you must be Mrs Micah Masemann. If you will please sign in..." She remarked, going back to her own work.

As she sat and waited though, she could see the opposite door open, before another young woman walked out and turned to an older gentleman whom seemed to be around thirty nine, perhaps into his early forties. " Thank you doctor... you have been a great help!" Rammond smiled though and simply nodded. " Of course Brigette... don't you fear... soon we will have you back to being the confident woman you once were."

He smiled though as he saw the woman off, before he 'assessed' his newest patient. " You must be Micah. I am Doctor Saran... please, come in." He welcomed her into his office, she seeing that along one wall was an examination area, the far wall was a large open window letting in plenty of light, the curtains currently drawn as sessions were in order... and on the third wall was his desk, on the actual walls his certifications.

" Please... have a seat." He motioned to one of the large comfortable looking leather chairs, he smiling as he looked to the young woman whom was his new patient. " Tell me, what brings you here today?" He knew the base reason from the referral letter... but Rammond found that only by actually speaking with the patient, could one get a true understanding of the scope of the deeper issue.

http://www.featurepics.com/FI/Thumb300/20100803/Handsome-Male-Doctor-Working-Laptop-Office-1626270.jpg​

 

[intriguess]

She wasn't sure what she expected, a physical exam, a nurse taking her vitals, but after signing in she was just feeling more lonely in the small room alone. The patient waking out seemed so lively, and Micah suddenly realized that she was in a psychologists office.

Talking, ugh, she felt as if she was talked out, but her Dr. had referred her so he must be good. "I feel like crap, fatigue, lethargy, but not to point of over sleeping. I'm inattentive at times, and I'm not getting more than 4 hours of sleep at a time. Physically I'm fine, I just feel worse than when I was on the pill but not as bad as after my husband died."

Those three months, heck she couldn't remember much of them, couldn't remember the funeral at all, a therapist had said she must have been in a fugue state. Micah shrugged, "I'm barely doing my job, basically because they are giving me easy tasks, I'm not sure what I would do if I couldn't work."

She rubbed the back of her neck, crossing and recrossing her legs, she just didn't feel like herself.

 

[TirithIre]

What she didn't know was that Brigette had been coming to see Doctor Saran for over a year... she had been traumatized by a death in the family as well, and it had taken a long time for her to 'get to this point'. It wasn't an easy place to be mentally, nor was it all that healthy.

Even as she sat down he nodded as he took out a large pad, and writing down her symptoms, he looked to her as she explained herself. " When was the last time you completed a task or chore where you felt as though you had accomplished something?" He asked curiously, trying to get an understanding of her. She was a lovely woman... her gynecologist had forwarded her file so he knew the recent history... but even as he looked to her he smiled.

" Now then, let's have a basic look at you... if you will sit on the examination table..." He remarked as he got up, putting the stethescope around his neck he circled the desk after a moment... he looking to her. " You don't need to worry... i'll have you feeling better soon enough." He remarked as he motioned her to follow him over to the examination part of the room.

He was quite professional, his voice was filled with life, it was easy to listen to, just as it should be. His intentions were clear, to improve her overall 'living experience'!

 

[intriguess]

She went through the motions, doing as he requested, not putting much effort into it. Her movements were slow, as if she was moving through sand. "I love my job, and normally I love doing my job, I just don't see to want to follow through with things. It's like everything is gray," she shrugged again. Work was probably the main reason she was here, no one else had noticed her decline. Her family, well she was the strong one, and after the funeral there had been no one to turn to, it was no wonder she had spiralled into a depression.

"Work has been the one dim light in my otherwise grim existance." Heck she'd lost weight, as she barely ate anymore, the pleasure of many things had vanished. She had considered shopping for new clothes, but it just seemed like such a chore, and she'd just snag one of his belts and drown her body in shapeless sweaters.

 

[TirithIre]

He noticed that her movements were slow. " Why are you moving so slowly?" He asked as he went with her, he setting aside his pad as he took her heart rate, blood pressure, along with everything else that was 'normal'. Even as he checked her though he looked to her as she mentioned work. " What do you do for work?" He asked as he pronounced her healthy, he looking to her curiously.

" You are young, and have a life ahead of you." He remarked easily, though shrugged as though that didn't matter. " How many times a week do you orgasm on average? on average, how many times did you before you were alone?" He asked easily, he looking to her right in the eyes. He was thinking that might 'shock her' a bit out of her normal 'grey mode', but also that it might be both a psycological as well as a physical symptom.

He was serius about his question though... it was a valid question... she didn't seem to find motivation at all.. he wondered if that transcribed to her sex life as well!

 

[intriguess]

"I'm a writer for a magazine," she shrugged she wasn't sure why she was moving so slowly, movement just seemed unimportant, the old adage an object at rest tends to stay at rest she supposed.

She let out a breath that might have been a chuckle, "Orgasms?" she paused, "Not weekly," she thought back trying to figure out when the last time she had an orgasm was, probably over a year, she found masterbation pointless without a partner. "I haven't wanted to be sexual since my husband died, so over a year ago." She shrugged again, "During my marriage we were having sex minimum three times a week, a couple of orgasms for me each time so about ten a week I suppose," it seemed like a lot when she counted them, and she was probably underestimating her orgasms by half.

"Before him, maybe once a month, when I'm not in a relationship I go without."

 

[TirithIre]

He looked to her as she explained what she was, he nodding to her easily. " Have you completed any articles that bring you a sense of pride recently?" He asked, though when she said that she went without orgasms, he looked to her strangely, as though contemplating something.

He wasn't joking about her sexual state, though as she paused he nodded... she not knowing that there was a video recording device within the office, everything was of course strictly confidential... but Rammond found the ability to review a session quite helpful in formulating a 'plan' to get his patients back on the right 'road to recovery'.

" Sexual gratification is a task that is meant to be used, as well as included in a healthy persons lifestyle. I find the fact that you have not orgasmed in over a week slightly disturbing." He admitted, though as he looked to her he simply shrugged, he looking to her. " I will ask you to disrobe Micah... since your issues certainly aren't physical in a normal nature, I will be inspecting you to see just what kind of responses I receive from sexually stimulating you."

He was dead serious about it... he opened a drawer and took out a pair of gloves as he looked to her, silently motioning her to disrobe, though he also motioned to a screen, he taking out one of those paper gowns that one usually received when they were going to be receiving a physical. He'd be doing just that as well... though in a different way!

 

[intriguess]

Micah

"I've been doing a lot of fluff pieces, book reviews, things that don't take that much effort or research," she missed the rush of doing a challenging project well, but considering her focus was so scattered that kind of project was currently beyond her abilities. "I've done a lot of editing and proofreading as well. I'm a pretty good spell checker." She smiled briefly and listened as he talked about sex, she just hadn't felt the urge so she'd just let it slide so to speak.

She did feel a sudden nervousness when he asked her to disrobe, she had always had female doctors, and idea of a man she was not going to have sex with see her naked, made her feel extremely unsexual. Micah noticed the screen and went behind it, pealing off the layers, even her bra and panties were black today.

She slipped the paper robe on, and emerged, feeling odd being naked under the gown, her full breasts pressing against the gown, her nipples flat, wishing she had considered grooming her pussy before this, well she'd neatened up for her gyno, but her gyno wasn't a man intent on testing her sexual responses.

 

[TirithIre]

He nodded to her, he smiling slightly. " Within the next week, I want you to come up with a piece idea that will challenge you. It doesn't have to be for publishing purposes... merely for your own enjoyment." He remarked easily, though even as he handed her the gown, he smiled. " And don't worry, I am a professional."

He was re-assuring, but even as she came out, he nodded to her and taking her from the table, he guided her over to a psycologists couch, he looking to her. Sitting down though he watched her. " Please sit down. I know that you are nervous, but I am simply going to see if your body is incapable of feeling pleasure.. or not." He was hoping she hadn't de-sensitized from even a caress or a sexual touch... that would have made his 'job' much harder.

Even as he had her sit facing away from him into his lap though she saw him reach around and guiding her to splay her legs astride his own, he smiled. " Just relax... close your eyes and relax." His voice was soothing... so soothing, and even as he splayed her legs, she could feel his hands, glove covered sliding beneath the robe, first stroking her belly exploringly... testing her responses.

 

[intriguess]

She closed her eyes and for the first time in a long time thought of her husband, his touch, his easy laugh, the warmth of his smile. Her shoulders relaxed, tension falling from her body, trying to figure a way to incorporate the feel of latex gloves with the playful image of her husband.

He had always wanted to play doctor, and she felt a shiver go down her spine at the doctor's breath brushed the back of her neck.

 

[TirithIre]

He could feel how at first, she was so tense atop him, almost perched... and even as he listened to her little breaths, his hands moved over her belly, hip bones. He incorporated light and firmer touches... he even worked on scraping his gloved fingers over her flesh. Even as she relaxed into his firmer bodies hold though he had his eyes on the side of her face, he shifting slightly so that her head fell back against the back of the couch, he holding her, she supported easily.

Even as she shivered though he looked to her even as he moved his gloved hands up, he sliding them over her large breasts, his fingers scraping her nipples as he expected a gasp or a shudder... the lack of which would be disturbing to him, he was simply making sure she was physically able to feel pleasure after all... whether she did so or not... well that would be up to her.

Rammond then cupped her large mounds of flesh and squeezed, watching her reactions closely!

 

[intriguess]

She was quiet in the bedroom, even upto the glorious moment where she might gasp in delight. Micah being quiet was typical, and she kept her eyes closed, letting the relaxation melt all the way to her pussy. It was hard to feel sexual, and it seemed even more impossible because he wanted her to respond. She supposed she could have warned him that unless she was ovulating her nipples would remain flat unless sucked on. Telling him personal details about her sexual responses, seemed so personal.

She was struggling with making this work, but at same time it seemed so clinical, normally she'd have been kissing her lover for a long while before getting to this point. Yet at the same time her body seemed to leap at the chance, and she could smell her arousal by the time she had fully relxed.

 

[TirithIre]

She wasn't the only one whom could smell her arousal... and though it was 'clinical' in some ways... he didn't pressure her in others. Rather he felt how her round firm breasts responded, and even as he listened to her breathing shifts, those told him more then anything else. " You do not need to make this work... your body is already responding." He remarked to her, he soothing her worries.

He did not rush anything, his fingers stroked her breasts, squeezed them... working to bring her nipples to hardness he could not help but smile as he watched her, and even as he smelled her arousal he moved one hand over her belly, before he removed his hands. " One moment." He remarked, he having just about touched her core... he knew he would need to steralize his hands afterwards, but he stripped the gloves off, masculine fingers returning to her flesh, flesh to flesh.

His hand pressed against her pussy, fingers dragging through the folds of her womanhood as he sought to arouse her... though she already was, he seemed intent on seeing it stirred, her desires not let to simmer, but rather to fester and grow with each passing moment!

 

[intriguess]

She heard him remove his gloves, and almost opened her eyes, then he touched her again, and while her body screamed yes, her mind screamed no.

Her mind won and she attempted to close her legs, only suceeding in trapping his hand there. Her eyes flashed open feeling exposed, raw, vulnerable. "I think you've established that my body is responsive."

 

[TirithIre]

He could tell that this would be the moment that would decide whether she was still 'loyal' to the memory of her husband... perhaps too much so. It was not her fault truly... she had lost her husband... probably a good man well before his time.

Even as she attempted to close her legs though he looked to her. " I would have to argue that you have not shown that much at all." He remarked, he looking to her as she felt his fingers curl, striking her clit as he looked right back to her.

" You need this, more then you know. Open your legs, and allow me to continue." It wasn't a question... but he would not force her aquiesence... he would only do the light touches that had clearly but stoked the fires of her desire!

 

[intriguess]

She didn't know what to say or do, she wasn't the type to resist just because she could. Micah knew her husband would want her to move on and find love again. He would be so pissed off at her for not being the passionate sexy woman he loved. One tear rolled down her face, her eyes open now staring at the problem and the solution.

The problem and the solution, the problem and the solution, the phrase rolled around in her mind. Desire slipped away as she saw him as a proffessional, heck he'd said it himself, she was just another patient, the thought of him touching other women this way, she felt disgusted with herself.

She sat up running her hands up and down her arms, "I might need it, but I don't want it, not like this," she sighed and shrugged. "I'll adapt, learn to live without." Another tear rolled down her face, "It'll suck, but it's better than the alternative." Which she meant was death.

 

[TirithIre]

Rammond released her slightly as she looked to her. " You will be lying to yourself for the rest of your life by doing this. I of course as your doctor am prescribing you to make regular visits to my office. The result of which will be a greater sense of purpose, along with a sense of accomplishment."

He wasn't phased by her at all, he looked to her though as he shifted her so that she was sitting on the couch, as he raised himself, and moving he sat in the chair. " Your initial appointment time is almost up... but I am prescribing that you bring yourself to orgasm three times a week until our next meeting." He remarked, looking to her. " Of course, it is up to you whether you continue coming here, but know that this treatment has not been done with other women."

He left it at that, actually writing out a prescription for an anti depressent as he allowed her the time to get herself dressed and 'cleaned up' and ready to go.

 

[intriguess]

She wasn't sure what to say or do, as he clinically dismissed her. Micah was still in shock as she washed her hands and swiped her aroused pussy with a wet wipe. She was shaking as she got dressed, and took the prescription only relunctantly.

She didn't bother cancelling the next appointment on her way out. She felt wrung out, on some level it was reassuring to just Feel, on another she wasn't sure if this was better. Micah took a few deep breaths before starting her car and driving home.

She ignored the blinking light on her answering machine and started a shower. She stripped off the layers of gray and made a mental note to wear more color. She stepped under the water letting the heat scorch her until she stopped trembling.

She thought of how many times she had made love in this shower, with her husband, without him sex seemed so much less than. The water turned cold and she stepped out of the shower, looking at herself in the mirror, her full breasts and the curve of her hips. She looked better than she had ever in her life, and she felt about as sexual as a turnip.

She dried off, clipping her hair off her neck and went into her bedroom. She went around to his side, since that was where they kept the sex toys. She laid down on his side of the bed, closed her eyes and tried to imagine him here. Her pussy was still engorged from her Dr's treatment, and she methodically rubbed her body.

Her mind just wasn't in it, and she felt the warmth and the tingling, but it was like eating something hot when it was cold. Perhaps she was dead inside after all. She rolled onto her side and cried, cried until she couldn't cry anymore.

Micah didn't have strict work hours, so when she woke up she tried again, this time using one of her favorite toys. She was relieved to stop after one brief clittoral orgasm. She felt better somehow, less broken, and she hated that it had taken a strange man touching her to make her realize it.

She bit her lip, it had been a lot easier to get aroused under that strange touch, taking minutes to rev her up, instead of the near hour of caressing it took on her own. But would it be worth it to get off quick? Hell would he accept a quick orgasm as worth it.

Half a dozen times throughout the week she picked up the phone to call, and every night and every morning she made an attempt to sucessfully masturbate. Success being few and far between.

Then again she'd never been able to get off alone, at least not to any real sense of satisfaction. So while after her husbands death she'd been eking by at a 1 or 2 out of ten, and she had been at about a 3, four didn't feel all that much better.

Four was how she'd felt on birth control, which only reminded her why she had not been on birth control in several years. She was wearing black pants, a dark shirt and a bulky dark green sweater when she walked into his office again.

She wasn't sure why she was here, whether to tell him off, and she hadn't bothered with the anti-depressants, she hated taking pills.

 

[TirithIre]

He of course would not have released her from his office had she not taken the prescription... the anti depressant was one of the lesser one's... to help her stave off that lonely feeling she had. Nothing could really replace her husband, but she would need to learn to move on from that, if she ever wanted to have a regular life once again.

As she entered the office she was of course seated, her appointment was soon, scheduled for an hour, hour long sessions that would change her perception of reality... towards a positive outlook... or that was his goal of course.

Even as she waited she was finally admitted, she seeing her doctor was sitting by the psycologists couch in a comfortable chair... he looking to her with a smile. " Come in come in... welcome back. I am pleased that you did not cancel the meeting." He admitted easily, he motioning her to sit.

" I know that this has been a very challenging time for you, but I would like to know whether you followed my directions, or instead chose to disregard them." He was simply trying to gauge how he could help her... what the next step should be... so on and so forth!

 

[intriguess]

She sat down, crossing her legs, feeling exposed as if he was picturing her naked. "I made several attempts and suceeded a few times," she ran her fingers along her neck, capturing a loose strand of hair and idly twirling it about her finger. "It felt empty," she admitted. Did she dare admit the rush she was feeling at the thought of his skilled hands upon her body? That she had noticed he at least was unmarried, and the more she thought about this treatment being unique to her.

"I used to joke that my orgasms were physical, mental, and emotional." She bit her lower lip, talking about sex, with someone she had no intention of having sex with felt wrong. "The self inflicted physical ones were always empty, the mental ones were usually in my sleep," she paused her body was responding to her memories of her emotional orgasms. "Emotional ones were the kind that left me a warm puddle of bliss."

She brought her hands back into her lap, "I'm not used to talking about sex with strangers."

 

[TirithIre]

He looked to her as she explained that, he nodding to her. " I realize that you have been going through a very difficult time in your life, but I believe that I can help you. I assure you I do not touch every patient the way that I do you, but you should know that I believe that through stimulation, you can find a sense of yourself again." He was explaining it to her, re-enforcing that he didn't just touch women all the time out of habit.

He smiled slightly as she told him about her 'three stages' of orgasm, and simply nodded in response. " That is usually how most people are... though perhaps not on the same stage of divide as you are." He remarked easily, and even as he watched her pause, he could tell she was remembering. That was good... if she could remember, she could connect still.

" I will not be a stranger to you... today we will be talking about one another, creating a distinction between the two of us. I do not want there to be secrets... nor will I suffer there to be so." He remarked... though he smiled. " At the end of the session you will masturbate before me. I want to see just how you bring yourself pleasure." He remarked with a kind smile.

 

[intriguess]

She wasn't sure she felt about the whole process. She had been just there to tell him, she wasn't sure what, perhaps to tell him that she could live without sex, but faced with him, she was unable to articulate those thoughts.

Then he went all dark and commanding, and she squirmed she did not care for that at all. She hated being told what to do, and she crossed her legs. It was like being in the principal's office, if the principle could get away with groping you, and ordering you to basically go fuck herself.

The smile, seemed eerie in comparision, and she was feeling like a maladjusted teenager, instead of a 30 something widow. She missed her husband more than ever, if he were here, then none of this would be necessary, if he were here she would be getting off easily and regularly.

Perhaps she was going through withdrawal, after all she had gone from daily pleasures to nothing. It was no wonder her body and hormones were all over the place.

 

[TirithIre]

Rammond looked to her, he didn't go 'demanding'... rather he was simply informing her of how the appointment could go. She had chosen to come here, rather then cancel the appointment... so he was going to 'take advantage' of that.

Clearly she was going through withdrawl... and she could tell her doctor truly wished nothing more then to help her. He wasn't simply trying to take advantage of her or hurt her in any way... he was instead trying to help her see that there was indeed still quite the reason to keep going... if oly to enjoy life once again.

" Come now... tell me a little bit about yourself." He would spend a good half hour talking with her... but then she knew he WAS going to have her masturbate before him... those bright blue eyes would watch as she made herself cum... and if she didn't, she also knew he would 'help her' to!