The Structure of a Limerick

[Winter_Fare]

There was a young woman from Wye
Who wished on a star in the sky
But as it shot down
She saw with a frown
It was birdshit

 

[AlinaX]

"Oh, look at the bluetits!" I cry
"Aye, it's cold out there," comes his reply
To ruin his fun, I say
"That's a terrible pun,"
And he opens the door and says, "Come inside and put some clothes on, you idiot."

 

[butters]

the liberties some poets take
when haiku or limericks make
would make me quite cross
if they were not so boss
and structure-ly chaotic cake

 

[Tzara]

Excerpt from a Therapy Session

John's Complaint

My lady, in love, is quite quiet,​

But why... I'm not sure. Maybe diet?​

I'd like her to scream—​

Maybe let off some steam.​

She'd love it if she would just try it.​

Jane's Explanation

I'm quiet because I'm not ready—​

John rips off my just-put-on teddy​

And plunges right in​

Like a race he must win,​

Leaving lingerie tattered and thready.​

​

I'd like just a smatter of foreplay.​

As it is, I feel more like a doorway.​

I am opened and through​

Like a short bout of flu​

Or a suddenly deflated soufflé.​

Dr. Ruth Makes a Comment

Well, John, perhaps you could linger​

And stroke her, caress her, and finger​

Her neck, arms, and thighs,​

And remember that guys​

Are often too ready to spring her.​

​

And, Jane, maybe give John some hints on​

Just what you would want fingerprints on.​

If you say, Touch me there,​

Then with practice and flair​

Your enjoyment won't be what he stints on.​

​

Both remember that love is the reason​

For sex, and it isn't high treason,​

That your needs should be met​

Be you stud or coquette.​

Just be generous—focus on pleasin'.​

 

[HawkerPenn]

Excerpt from a Therapy Session

John's Complaint

My lady, in love, is quite quiet,​

But why... I'm not sure. Maybe diet?​

I'd like her to scream—​

Maybe let off some steam.​

She'd love it if she would just try it.​

Jane's Explanation

I'm quiet because I'm not ready—​

John rips off my just-put-on teddy​

And plunges right in​

Like a race he must win,​

Leaving lingerie tattered and thready.​

​

I'd like just a smatter of foreplay.​

As it is, I feel more like a doorway.​

I am opened and through​

Like a short bout of flu​

Or a suddenly deflated soufflé.​

Dr. Ruth Makes a Comment

Well, John, perhaps you could linger​

And stroke her, caress her, and finger​

Her neck, arms, and thighs,​

And remember that guys​

Are often too ready to spring her.​

​

And, Jane, maybe give John some hints on​

Just what you would want fingerprints on.​

If you say, Touch me there,​

Then with practice and flair​

Your enjoyment won't be what he stints on.​

​

Both remember that love is the reason​

For sex, and it isn't high treason,​

That your needs should be met​

Be you stud or coquette.​

Just be generous—focus on pleasin'.​

Beautifully done!

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

Excerpt from a Therapy Session

John's Complaint

My lady, in love, is quite quiet,​

But why... I'm not sure. Maybe diet?​

I'd like her to scream—​

Maybe let off some steam.​

She'd love it if she would just try it.​

Jane's Explanation

I'm quiet because I'm not ready—​

John rips off my just-put-on teddy​

And plunges right in​

Like a race he must win,​

Leaving lingerie tattered and thready.​

​

I'd like just a smatter of foreplay.​

As it is, I feel more like a doorway.​

I am opened and through​

Like a short bout of flu​

Or a suddenly deflated soufflé.​

Dr. Ruth Makes a Comment

Well, John, perhaps you could linger​

And stroke her, caress her, and finger​

Her neck, arms, and thighs,​

And remember that guys​

Are often too ready to spring her.​

​

And, Jane, maybe give John some hints on​

Just what you would want fingerprints on.​

If you say, Touch me there,​

Then with practice and flair​

Your enjoyment won't be what he stints on.​

​

Both remember that love is the reason​

For sex, and it isn't high treason,​

That your needs should be met​

Be you stud or coquette.​

Just be generous—focus on pleasin'.​

Dr. Ruth always offers sage counsel
For girlfriends, boyfriends, or spousal
I’d like to know where
She acquired this flair
Could it be from her own arousal?

 

[Tzara]

Dr. Ruth always offers sage counsel
For girlfriends, boyfriends, or spousal
I’d like to know where
She acquired this flair
Could it be from her own arousal?

On the Reluctance to Seek Sexual Advice

Advice on one's sex life is daunting,
Admitting technique's somewhat wanting.
I study and strive
Her libido to drive
But my competence isn't worth flaunting.

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

On the Reluctance to Seek Sexual Advice

Advice on one's sex life is daunting,
Admitting technique's somewhat wanting.
I study and strive
Her libido to drive
But my competence isn't worth flaunting.

I admire your being honest
But I feel you’re being too modest
Your commendable credo
To stoke her libido
I’m sure will make her the hottest.

 

[Tzara]

A Government Worker Discusses
the Need to Pass a Continuing Resolution

Our Congress is peopled with winners,
And liars, and cheaters, and sinners.
They need to pass laws
Or our paychecks will pause,
And we all need food for our dinners.

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A Government Worker Discusses
the Need to Pass a Continuing Resolution

Our Congress is peopled with winners,
And liars, and cheaters, and sinners.
They need to pass laws
Or our paychecks will pause,
And we all need food for our dinners.

Depending on Congress for food
Will put you in a bad mood
For they buy your vote
With government bloat
And into your life they intrude.

 

[HottieOlwen]

The limerick is particularly well suited to erotica. Getting the accented syllables to work can be a bit tricky. This article may be of help to those who wish to write limericks:


https://whvvugt.home.xs4all.nl/Archives_TCCMB/Limericks/Structure.html#:~:text=THE STRUCTURE OF A LIMERICK Limericks are short,a greater degree) than the first two: da-da-DA.

My cuckold came to me one day,
And said "There's something that I need to say.
My cock is so small
It's no use to you at all
The time's come for you to play away."

To be a cuckold was his aim in life
I would then be his sexy Hot Wife
I made up my mind
A big cock I'd find
To stop any marital strife.

We've been Hot Wife and cuckold for years
We both love the lifestyle - no tears
Richard watches me fuck
And then my obedient cuck
Cleans up me and my lover - loud cheers.

 

[AlinaX]

My pussy is full of hot cum
But I'd rather be sipping warm rum
While watching my cuck
Drink it fresh from my buck
Till it pours from his lips... Oh yum!

 

[Blueskiessmiling]

A wife from the South told her man
”I have an excellent plan
You go out with the girls
Give them a necklace of pearls
Lillian, Marianne, and Diane.”

 

[Ashesh9]

CM Gurung from Darjeeling
Delivered fiery speeches with feeling:
Electorate showed him the Door
He lost the Vote on Assembly Floor!?
Lastly he resorted to groveling