The "Things you've done" thread

[CandiCame]

Didn't think to mention, but I did the shelves/curio behind it to. Used to be an outside window, but when I enclosed the former porch and made in into a room, I had the empty window frames to deal with. Instead of boarding them over, I added some oak trim, glass shelves and doors and LED lighting.

The bottles are all miniature replicas found in various liquor stores and collected over many years. Probably around 100 of them now.

I did a lot of carpentry but like... not anything that I would be willing to share because it is all the worst. Like the absolute worst. The whole house is gonna fall in on us.

Like...

Ya ever play Fallout?

I literally built my house out of stuff I found/stole like some kind of apocalypse goblin. Like for real like store pallets and stolen windows. There's stuff in this house in real weird-ass places because I never even considered anyone but me would ever live here so the deep freeze, like you would expect to find in my kitchen, is in my bedroom closet. And it's never coming out because it was in there before the door was.

I made a bunch of really shitty choices under the impression that I was going to be a crazy guy in a shack. Like there's also a clothes rack in the shower in the master bath because I barely ever take a shower- when I clean myself it is an ordeal, this is my me time for my bath salts and jacking off and taking long soaks like a proper twink- thank god the gf is a munchkin but my bf like... literally can't take showers.

I don't think things through, and it's kinda great because for some reason everyone else on this site is rich like, "I live in a mansion" but I'm over here keeping it real. I live in a cobbled-together lean-to in the middle of the woods that looks exactly like what it is. I have brunch with the goat man. You fuckin hear the banjos when you look at it like a Pavlovian response.

Also I half-ass everything, like in general, as part of my overall shittiness at life so there's massive shit that needs to be done that I'm just not gonna do. Like I didn't put half the flooring in that same closet, the sink I got I broke pretty quick and I got a new sink but I've had it sitting there next to the broken one for like... almost a year?

I don't have my shit together, is the bullet point. Like I build stuff but not well.

 

[jaF0]

Mine is more like Jenga.

Pull the wrong piece and .....

It's why I'll probably never sell this house and leave orders in my will to have it burned.

 

[IG_88]

Carpentry requires patience. If you don't have that you won't ever be good at it.

 

[HisArpy]

Mine is more like Jenga.

Pull the wrong piece and .....

It's why I'll probably never sell this house and leave orders in my will to have it burned.

You just need practice.

 

[CandiCame]

See, Harpy that's why I need a man around the house.

I love the different heights and that leveled effect.

 

[HisArpy]

See, Harpy that's why I need a man around the house.

I love the different heights and that leveled effect.

When I first started messing around with wood, I didn't know squat. I joined a woodworking forum, read tons of magazines and started making things. Eventually I got good enough people asked me to make things for them.

I've made all kinds of things. Chests, furniture, kitchen cabinets, jewelry boxes, a very funky western sink cabinet, and so on.

Here's a close up of the drawer detail in the office image above:

 

[HisArpy]

STILL waiting on other to post things they've done. I don't care what, just POST SOMETHING.

You know, like taters growing in a bucket...

 

[MelissaBaby]

I sew a lot but that’s not so interesting to post images of.

Sure it is.

 

[HisArpy]

Sure it is.

This post gets the approval of the OP.

 

[CandiCame]

Here's a glitchy horrible animation that I made, according to when I uploaded it to tumblr, about 3 years ago. It's me!

I can draw so much better than this now but all my new shit is signed. Give me something to draw anon and I'll upload it. I want you guys to know that I draw better than this now.

 

[Comshaw]

Something I made for the wife many years ago. Made from a white agate. It took me a while because when I started I had no idea how to grind and shape stone.

Another thing I made, my Troll bridge. I've been meaning to build a troll door into the bank under it, but haven't found the time yet. When I do I want to put a motion sensor on it attached to a speaker underneath that let's out with a few growls and bellows when someone crosses.

Comshaw

 

[CandiCame]

Dude that bridge is so cool! I'm jealous!

 

[butters]

the bridge is cool, but i love the stone heart!

 

[HisArpy]

Most of my sewing is for my kids, but I used to have market stall some years ago too. I made/sewed this hobby horse some years ago, and then friends started wanting to buy them. They ended up being a popular item at the craft markets but a pain in the arse to sew and craft.

Apologies for huge images.

That stuffed pony is waaaaay cute. Seriously. It's no wonder why they sold so well. Hundreds of "I want one!" PM's inbound in 3, 2, 1...

HAY! No apologies needed. The pics were perfect.

WHO'S NEXT?

 

[Comshaw]

Most of my sewing is for my kids, but I used to have market stall some years ago too. I made/sewed this hobby horse some years ago, and then friends started wanting to buy them. They ended up being a popular item at the craft markets but a pain in the arse to sew and craft.

Here is a snap of my old market stall. I would typically sell most of the stock on display over two weekends/markets. I tried boys clothes too but people just didn't buy for their boys for some reason.

Most other stuff I've sewn has mine or people's children modelling it so not appropriate to post here really.

Also, I restored an old school desk a year or so ago that I got on eBay for $10. It had dicks drawn inside it, and all sorts of rust and paint and texta and shit all over it It was a bit of nightmare overall, but my kids love to use it and someone recently asked to buy it for $250. My daughter, though, didn't want to part with it just yet.

Apologies for huge images.

That is cool! So perhaps I could talk you into come help me with a project I want to do? I have a pile of old jeans and I want to make a quilt for my grandson using the rear pockets as the blocks. I was also thinking about putting two front pockets blocks in the center of the quilt. A friend who is a quilter suggested I sew an inch of the edges on the outside and let them fray to outline the blocks. When i'm done i want to put something in each pocket before I give it to him so he has things to find as well as a MAN *grunt grunt* quilt. What do you think? Doable for someone that has only basic sewing skills?



Comshaw


Comshaw

 

[CandiCame]

Rainshine, your capsleeves are amazing, straight up. All even and shit.

What fabric are you using? You said it was machine and I just can't do that, my back won't take it. But I was wondering if this is some handwash shit or if I could conceivably throw that in a machine.

Also do you write your own patterns? Like how do you do the sizing? I've never tried to make anything for anyone I couldn't measure and the prospect fills me with fear. To make on mass like that is amazing. You're a one-person sweatshop.

 

[CandiCame]

 

[CandiCame]

Here's a fun story.

So my whole life, my dad has been an asshole about everything, as is his want, but in particular about my "girly" interests like making my own "fagtastic" clothes, a word I don't think he expected me to embrace with such enthusiasm.

Then his ass stopped working. His whole intestines actually quit working and he had to have a series of surgeries over about 2 years, and wound up with a colostony bag. Well you can get protective insulated covers for them, but apparently they're very expensive. So this motherfucker comes to me hat in hand like, "Hey I know that you're really good at sewing, can you make these for me."

I had a prime opportunity to tell him to fuck right off like someone really ought to in that situation. But do you know what my punk ass did because I just couldn't stand to see a sick old man in need?

This:

 

[adrina]

Here's a fun story.

So my whole life, my dad has been an asshole about everything, as is his want, but in particular about my "girly" interests like making my own "fagtastic" clothes, a word I don't think he expected me to embrace with such enthusiasm.

Then his ass stopped working. His whole intestines actually quit working and he had to have a series of surgeries over about 2 years, and wound up with a colostony bag. Well you can get protective insulated covers for them, but apparently they're very expensive. So this motherfucker comes to me hat in hand like, "Hey I know that you're really good at sewing, can you make these for me."

I had a prime opportunity to tell him to fuck right off like someone really ought to in that situation. But do you know what my punk ass did because I just couldn't stand to see a sick old man in need?

This:

My father had a colostomy - for decades.

You done good.

 

[CandiCame]

My father had a colostomy - for decades.

You done good.

Please don't plant the seed that I might have to deal with this fucker for decades. I'm working under the assumption he finally has one foot in the grave. My gf hates him too, like every so often she'll just be like, "So why isn't your dad dead yet?"

And I have to be like, "Bitch, IDK, spite?"

 

[adrina]

Please don't plant the seed that I might have to deal with this fucker for decades. I'm working under the assumption he finally has one foot in the grave. My gf hates him too, like every so often she'll just be like, "So why isn't your dad dead yet?"

And I have to be like, "Bitch, IDK, spite?"

Ha. It's funny... I had a vague feeling that decades thing would resonate.

I don't know if Dad was an unusual case but he had a crazy strong immune system and the constitution of an ox. The most sickly he looked was after chemo. After he recovered he tried to get it reversed. Didn't work. Eventually the treatment that saved him in his 50s killed him in his 70s.

 

[jaF0]

If somebody cut my guts out and made me shit in a bag to carry around, I guaron-damn-tee I wouldn't be long for this world.

 

[CandiCame]

If somebody cut my guts out and made me shit in a bag to carry around, I guaron-damn-tee I wouldn't be long for this world.

Right?

Also, it's not as awful as my brothers and I wanted it to be. We thought it would be like a fanny pack, and we were all primed to make fun of him, had a bunch of shit prepped- then he walked in with that and we were like, "Wait, that's it? That's not actually bad at all WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Because we wanted it to be awful as a kind of karmic retribution. But it was nothing.

The only funny thing about it is that he got this... I can't remember, either before Bitesize was born or when she was too little to actually know anything, and I found out recently that she just thought he didn't have an asshole. Like she just thought that some people didn't have assholes.

We were watching youtube and there was this ad where they were trying to sell those squatty potties and the ad said something like, "If you have a butthole, buy this product" and she was like, "Papaw doesn't have a butthole." And I was like, "Wait was that a particularly good burn or is that something you think is a true fact? Because he does actually have an asshole he just doesn't use it."

Like she didn't know he had surgery or anything? She just thought some people didn't have assholes so they shit in bags protruding from their stomachs and that's just how the world was, and it had never come up so no one thought to correct her. What a world to live in.

 

[CandiCame]

I was in the process of moving when I took this picture but here I made a 20ft long Minecraft pickaxe because that was one of my brothers' favorite game at the time and I wanted to make something personal but also fucking horrible that he would have to pretend to like.

Joke's on me. He actually did like it and wrapped it around himself in loo of a blanket and bragged about it to all his friends and I got commissions from it. Which was great for a joke gift.

Here's a comparison like I did with Sabby.

Edit: Typo

 

[MelissaBaby]

Well, this thread took a turn.