THe view form the other side

[Salvor-Hardon]

Women are curious creatures. You keep the mystery and stay elusive, always just out of reach, even as you snuggle in our arms.

Funny, we say the same about you men.

Oh yes! Wouldn't that be great fun? I smell a good thread Mr. Sal *staring at you*

SO those are the ideas that started this thread. How do you view the opposite sex? Are all men players and "only interested in one thing"? Are all women teases and flirts? Is there a spectrum of archetypes you can explain and illustrate? What separates bad boys from nice guys, why does the girl next always seem to have a wild side, but it only comes out when you least expect it?

Have a question for the other side?

Share your thoughts, opinions, and feel free to interject.

P.S. Ok so my typing sucks and I mangled the title.. Men are lousy typists.

 

[taborgirl]

SO those are the ideas that started this thread. How do you view the opposite sex? Are all men players and "only interested in one thing"? Are all women teases and flirts? Is there a spectrum of archetypes you can explain and illustrate? What separates bad boys from nice guys, why does the girl next always seem to have a wild side, but it only comes out when you least expect it?

Have a question for the other side?

Share your thoughts, opinions, and feel free to interject.

P.S. Ok so my typing sucks and I mangled the title.. Men are lousy typists.

I just wanted to be number one. Hi, Sal!

I hope that I don't judge men as "only interested in one thing;" because you know what, I'm "interested in only one thing." Nothing seperates bad and good guys. Unless of course he's a psychopath. Personally, I like the bad boy who looks fantastic in a suit. A good suit hides a multitude of sins and make a man so much fun to unwrap. Oh, my. I'm getting all hot and bothered thinking about a man in a good suit with cufflinks.

What were the rest of the questions?

 

[newbiebabe]

Evening Sal! Interesting thoughts for a thread.

Isn't that the typical thought .. girls are just teases? Just wanting to give a man a hard time but never coming through for them in the end?

But really isn't that what you men enjoy... a girl who can flirt and tease, draw you in and then toss you back out only to reel you in again? Isn't that the joy of the game? If she is too easy, do you really want her? Don't most men enjoy the sparring of the sexes?

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I just wanted to be number one. Hi, Sal!

I hope that I don't judge men as "only interested in one thing;" because you know what, I'm "interested in only one thing." Nothing seperates bad and good guys. Unless of course he's a psychopath. Personally, I like the bad boy who looks fantastic in a suit. A good suit hides a multitude of sins and make a man so much fun to unwrap. Oh, my. I'm getting all hot and bothered thinking about a man in a good suit with cufflinks.

What were the rest of the questions?

Note to self... get suit pressed and buy new cufflinks

 

[taborgirl]

Note to self... get suit pressed and buy new cufflinks

You know the sexiest spot on a guy: When you loosen his tie and unbutton the top button, there's that little patch of skin that's perfectly framed and perfect for kissing, licking, sucking, nibbling...You get the idea.

 

[Wings27]

I wish I could put this in to better words. I don't view the opposite sex as elusive, and I certainly don't view them as only out for one thing. I've had such great pleasure in not only meeting and conversing but occasionally loving some fantastic guys.

To paint them all with the same brush would be a crime. Everyone is different, sure men tend to think about sex more than women but most men I know, KNOW this is true and try to compensate for their natural instincts.

To be fair I spend 70% of my life with men and men only so I may have a very skewed perspective.

However if you want my opinion on women, well that will come out differently.

 

[2wild2care]

Evening Sal! Interesting thoughts for a thread.

Isn't that the typical thought .. girls are just teases? Just wanting to give a man a hard time but never coming through for them in the end?

But really isn't that what you men enjoy... a girl who can flirt and tease, draw you in and then toss you back out only to reel you in again? Isn't that the joy of the game? If she is too easy, do you really want her? Don't most men enjoy the sparring of the sexes?

Newbiebabe, you got it right there. It's the teasing and the waiting... the wondering... the not knowing... that's the game..!!!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Evening Sal! Interesting thoughts for a thread.

Isn't that the typical thought .. girls are just teases? Just wanting to give a man a hard time but never coming through for them in the end?

But really isn't that what you men enjoy... a girl who can flirt and tease, draw you in and then toss you back out only to reel you in again? Isn't that the joy of the game? If she is too easy, do you really want her? Don't most men enjoy the sparring of the sexes?

Evening Newbie..... and for me the answer is "well yes and no". Just like a man to answer a question with a non-answer

The yes is there because there is a primal side of masculinity. There is a hunger and instinct to hunt, to see the tease and dance and back and forth, and keep coming back for more, only find even less than before.

The no is there for the moments when we are less predator and more relational. And yes we do have a relational side. We need to know we are connecting even as we are chasing. There should be that noticeable slow down so that while you may not le us catch you, you are telling us that you are enjoying being chased as much as we like chasing.

Ah the depths of yin and yang.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I wish I could put this in to better words. I don't view the opposite sex as elusive, and I certainly don't view them as only out for one thing. I've had such great pleasure in not only meeting and conversing but occasionally loving some fantastic guys.

To paint them all with the same brush would be a crime. Everyone is different, sure men tend to think about sex more than women but most men I know, KNOW this is true and try to compensate for their natural instincts.

To be fair I spend 70% of my life with men and men only so I may have a very skewed perspective.

However if you want my opinion on women, well that will come out differently.

Actually a woman's view of women would be wonderfully insightful as well. I may even open a bottle and let slip my opinion of men.

 

[Mrs.H]

How do you view the opposite sex?
It really depends on the situation. If it is just a social gathering or as friends, I really see them as on the same level.

If I have a feeling that it is going to progress into something further? I tend to be intimidated.

Are all men players and "only interested in one thing"?
No absolutely not. I think the man will let you know EXACTLY what he's interested in, within the first week of knowing him, if you listen.

Are all women teases and flirts?
We all have it in us yes. But does that mean we use it all the time? Hardly!

What separates bad boys from nice guys?
The games that are played and the maturity level.

Why does the girl next always seem to have a wild side, but it only comes out when you least expect it?
That's not true. We all have wild sides. I think it really depends on our willingness to open up to you. If I don't see a future with someone, I'm not investing the energy or the time. Least expect it? Who knows, it might be the thrill of it all.

 

[Mrs.H]

I am SO thrilled you did a thread on this Sal!! This is just fantastic!!

 

[ZipBlockBloodie]

Women or the women have talked to to seem to like the mystery thing and a guy who is hard to figure out and a man who has big bucks.

Me I like women who are self confident and women who not afraid to express there sexuality, a tease is fine but after a while I do want to move past the tease stage. Also I hate whiners and nip pickers if you want perfect guy might as well leave cause I am not perfect at all.

 

[godofdun]

Evening Sal! Interesting thoughts for a thread.

Isn't that the typical thought .. girls are just teases? Just wanting to give a man a hard time but never coming through for them in the end?

But really isn't that what you men enjoy... a girl who can flirt and tease, draw you in and then toss you back out only to reel you in again? Isn't that the joy of the game? If she is too easy, do you really want her? Don't most men enjoy the sparring of the sexes?

Not all men, I prefer it more simple, you either want me or don't, I long tired of the games .

 

[Pinktacokitty]

How do you view the opposite sex?

As a challenge.....

Are all men players and "only interested in one thing"?

No. There are some really nice guys, and some really bad guys.

Are all women teases and flirts?

I do not think so, some girls just do not have it in them to "play the game".

What separates bad boys from nice guys?

Their skill level.

Why does the girl next always seem to have a wild side, but it only comes out when you least expect it.

That is not the case with me, my wild side/mischievous side it a definite part of my personality that is always on display.

I also think our outlook on guys will change as we age, I hope so........

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

ok I am definitely opening the bottle of bourbon, and giving this some serious cognition. So many great ideas and answers, so much to chew on. Love it!

Thank you all.

 

[Mrtenant]

Everyone has their different experiences which also color their perspectives.


I think far too many people aren't real sure of what they want or even believe of themselves.

How many people swear they are in love with a person, only to find out they were really in love with being in love?

How many men figure themselves as players only to realize that they really are not, and some not even realizing that much, maybe just feeling somewhat unfulfilled?

How many women take the high road, when they realize all they want is to just get it good and hard, sometimes, a zipless fuck.

Are there men or women that love wholeheartedly yet still have the need or want to 'play'.

Finally, how many of us come here to play it safe? Teasing and manipulating and never really going anywhere with it? And not wanting to go beyond these boundaries, no matter what they say to the contrary? What's up with that? As long as you are somewhere far away and I don't have to really committ, there's no harm done right? I get warm fuzzies, you might get some too, and oh, so sorry, that's all there is? Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Endless combinations of similar themes, name any it all fits. Its all very tragic in some ways, when we really think on it. And, even worse sometimes, when we don't. We are a very complicated species. Just when you think things are going right, there's a new twist you weren't expecting. All very valid, from a certain point of view.

Throw out the rulebook. Its a case by case basis, and even then its a gamble.

 

[Georgia Girl]

How do you view the opposite sex?

As infinitely different. All men are not alike, that is part of their allure. Each has their own individual characteristics to form the whole. Nature and nurture play integral parts in that as well as life experiences.

Are all men players and "only interested in one thing"?

We all have our moments but its not fair to lump all men together with that broad a stroke. Granted yes, there are players out there and there are the ones who seem to have one track minds but that is not all and even for those its not all the time quite often. Men can be moody just like women can.

Are all women teases and flirts?

The same with the players comment above, most women have the capability to flirt and tease but that doesn't mean that is all that they are capable of, once again its too broad a stroke to paint everyone with. For me, flirting is like breathing. I don't even realize it quite often but I'm southern. Calling people hon, sugar, darling and so forth when talking to them is just natural. I don't think about it, it just happens. I have to think to NOT do it.

What separates bad boys from nice guys?

What is in their soul, in the heart and in their mind. The nicest of guys can be a malicious ass, the worst of bad boys can be an absolute sweetheart. Circumstance will often dictate those things. Between the bad boy and the nice guy there is a whole spectrum of other men.

Why does the girl next always seem to have a wild side, but it only comes out when you least expect it?

Because we will only show you those pieces of ourselves when there is trust and respect. Everyone is guilty of being on their best behavior when everything is new but as it ages and progresses you get more comfortable and let guards down. Its actually a compliment when we let you see our more vulnerable places.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

While reading the responses, I'm thinking I may have done better with the first post. Everyone is an individual, we are all unique, and there is always the spectrum, not just the extremes. Thinking of only stereotypes is what cause the separation that keeps us from truly understanding each other.

And yet stereotypes persist because there is a element of truth to them. Not that we can paint in broad strokes, but we do recognize "when you hear hoof beats, think horses not zebras."

Georgia Girl, I am really digging your last two lines:

What separates bad boys from nice guys?

What is in their soul, in the heart and in their mind. The nicest of guys can be a malicious ass, the worst of bad boys can be an absolute sweetheart. Circumstance will often dictate those things. Between the bad boy and the nice guy there is a whole spectrum of other men.

we all have those elements in us, its a sense of what comes out when. I'm wondering if there is a way to find balance, to be a nice guy with bad boy moments, that are shown and given to the people we trust.

Why does the girl next always seem to have a wild side, but it only comes out when you least expect it?

Because we will only show you those pieces of ourselves when there is trust and respect. Everyone is guilty of being on their best behavior when everything is new but as it ages and progresses you get more comfortable and let guards down. Its actually a compliment when we let you see our more vulnerable places.

I still don't know what to make of that. In my personal experience (and I understand this is MY experience and that it is purely MY interpretation of it all too) the wild side moments are more of a "wanting to explore an idea" or a tease that should come with a warning label. I've never thought about it as a matter of trust.

Ok so whats next?

Who else has questions for the opposite sex?