Theater of Flesh-1936: Freaks and Fetishes (closed for haremfaery)

[haremfaery]

"A leash around your neck?" Perizada's grew louder to match his own. "I am the one imprisoned in the vessel. I am the one who must follow my master's wishes, indulge his every whim. But you, you are strong. You have what you want, do as you please. You would ask little of me. You could be my perfect master. How could it be a trap? You saw how beautiful we are together." She had never experienced love before, but what she felt for D had to be something close to it. Even before this encounter, she had always felt drawn to him. Perhaps that was why Orsino had been so jealous and adamant that she stay away from D.

D's growing anger frightened her more than any of Orsino's moods ever had. She put out a hand to sooth him. "D, tell me what is wrong."

 

[Zagreus_D]

Everything in Perizada's demeanor indicated that she was sincere in both her confusion and her affection. Under normal circumstances that would be enough to convince D that she was innocent of any ulterior motives. D had an almost impeccable ability to discern truth from lies, but these were not normal circumstances and nothing was adding up properly.

However frustrated he felt however, D was not one to jump to conclusion when simple communication might provide him with missing information. He did his best to master his frantic emotions and speak calmly and rationally. "Something has been planted in my mind, Perizada, something like a hypnotic suggestion, or a magical parasite. I feel relatively certain that it came from you. It didn't start to have an effect on me until I entered your vardo tonight, and it seems to be quite adamant that I take possession of you."

 

[haremfaery]

Perizada frowned and thought back. Her eyes shifted up and to her left but were not focused on anything. "When I fIrst saw you, when Orsino brought me here . . . I felt an immediate attraction. I wanted to be with you. I have always thought that was because you were kind to me and so unlike Orsino. I knew you had real magic, like me, but until tonight, I never knew you had such power."

She looked into his eyes again. "It arouses me. You arouse me. As no other ever has. It feels true to me. How can this be something else, something outside of us?" It couldn't be true. She didn't want it to be true. D cared for her, she knew it. He was kind and gentle and would be a perfect master for her while they tried to break her free.

 

[Zagreus_D]

“That power isn't me Perizada, not anymore. I'm old beyond reckoning, but the time of my true power is long gone. It's no wonder that we are drawn together, two ancient beings out of our proper time and place, but that isn't love, and the consequence of our prolonged association could be disastrous, not just to me personally but to humanity.”

D reached out to stroke Perizada's cheek, to lessen the blow of his words. “You said that you wanted your freedom. Take it. Find out what sort of fate you can make for yourself. You are welcome to stay with the carnival if you like, and if it suites you to remain my lover, then you will be welcome in my bed, but first I have to root out the interloper in my mind. If you say you know nothing of it, I will trust your word, but I must guard myself closely in your company until I know that it's been neutralized. The combination to my safe is 72-69-05, will you remember?”

 

[haremfaery]

“That power isn't me Perizada, not anymore. I'm old beyond reckoning, but the time of my true power is long gone. It's no wonder that we are drawn together, two ancient beings out of our proper time and place, but that isn't love, and the consequence of our prolonged association could be disastrous, not just to me personally but to humanity.

"Why do you care so much for humanity? What has humanity done for you?" She leaned closer again. "You have seen what humanity has done to me and my kind. Our kind. Djinn are lower than slaves. You are long forgotten. Besides, humans have ruined themselves. Look what they have done to their world. "She took his hands. "D, I could love you as you've never been loved before. Adore you. Worship you."

D reached out to stroke Perizada's cheek, to lessen the blow of his words. “You said that you wanted your freedom. Take it. Find out what sort of fate you can make for yourself. You are welcome to stay with the carnival if you like, and if it suites you to remain my lover, then you will be welcome in my bed, but first I have to root out the interloper in my mind. If you say you know nothing of it, I will trust your word, but I must guard myself closely in your company until I know that it's been neutralized. The combination to my safe is 72-69-05, will you remember?”

"Freedom frightens me after eons without it. I do not even know if having the vessel in my possession will truly make me free. At the least, it should keep any others from becoming my master, so I expect there is a freedom in that."

She sighed. "I would like to stay. Where else would I go? And I know nothing of what you say has invaded your mind. But I will stay away from you until you tell me it is all right. 72-69-05. I will remember."

"I suppose, I should go get my vessel now." She was not nearly as excited by the idea of having it and her freedom as she had been. Right now, she wanted D more than freedom.

 

[Zagreus_D]

"Why do you care so much for humanity? What has humanity done for you?"

D smiled at her question, a wistful far away look came into his eyes.

"You have seen what humanity has done to me and my kind. Our kind. Djinn are lower than slaves. You are long forgotten. Besides, humans have ruined themselves. Look what they have done to their world. " She took his hands. "D, I could love you as you've never been loved before. Adore you. Worship you."

"How can I explain my relationship to humanity?" D paused and gave the question great thought before responding.

"You look at humanity as destructive and cruel, and you aren't wrong to see those aspects, but that isn't their entirety. I belong to the outcasts, Perizada, the freaks and the whores. I can't look on them with contempt, or blame them for their suffering. They are beautiful to me. They crave recognition, freedom, power, purity. All of the wrongs that they do are in pursuit of some sublime experience... Yes, this generation of man has cast me as the villain, they have consigned me to become a vagabond, offering succor among the dregs of society, but where else could I belong? Where else could I find such purpose? I have been adored and worshipped. I've had power. Not long ago, I set myself at the center of my own little empire, and I lived in hedonistic bliss without a care in the world, but I was less happy then."

D squeezed her hands tightly, and brought them to his lips. He kissed one hand and then the other. "You offered me something amazing tonight, parts of myself that I had nearly forgotten came back to me because of you. It's wonderful to have such an experience with such a woman, but I can't trade what I am now for something that I was long ago. I'm too old to risk losing myself in dreams of the past. I have to look forward, to allow myself to change, as humanity needs me to change, it's the only thing that makes all of this time bearable."

"Freedom frightens me after eons without it. I do not even know if having the vessel in my possession will truly make me free. At the least, it should keep any others from becoming my master, so I expect there is a freedom in that."

"The freedom to choose our own master is the only freedom that is real. We are all slaves to something. If you can understand that, you may find more freedom than some people ever do, even with the constraints placed upon you by your vessel."

She sighed. "I would like to stay. Where else would I go? And I know nothing of what you say has invaded your mind. But I will stay away from you until you tell me it is all right. 72-69-05. I will remember."

"I suppose, I should go get my vessel now."

D nodded. "I'll go, so that you can do what you need to do. I'll see you tomorrow?" D looked around and realized that his clothes were completely gone. Only his hat which had fallen to the floor remained. He picked it up, and placed it on his head with a shrug. "Good night, Perizada." He tipped his hat to her, and left the vardo, disappearing naked into the night.

 

[Zagreus_D]

Patrick crouched in the darkness under the wagon watching Perizada's trailer. Mr. D had gone in a long time ago, and Patrick's agitation and despair grew worse and worse with each passing moment. He needed to see her, to talk to her, to tell her what he had done and why. Everything was for her, she was the only thing that mattered to him and Mr. D was ruining everything.

Perizada had become the shining center of his universe ever since he joined Orsino's side-show when he was a young boy. He lived for a momentary smile from her, or a kind word. She had always been kind to him.

He was one of the only males that Orsino allowed in Perizada's company without supervision. Orsino had even told him why. Patrick was so horrifically ugly and beneath any woman's notice, that he had no fear that Perizada might be unfaithful. Not with Patrick.

He was billed as "Rat-boy, Pat the Rat, The Human Rodent." He was thin and frail, even now at eighteen, his body was like a child's body. His overlarge teeth jutted forward at an unnatural angle from his face, and his upper jaw was malformed giving him the appearance of having a rodent like snout. In the show he was made to wear whiskers and false ears to create the full effect, but even without them he looked more like an oversized rat than a man. Orsino was right, a woman like Perizada would never take notice of him, or feel anything other than disgust when looking at him.

But he loved her, and obsessed over her all the same. He watched her whenever he could, from far away or hiding in the shadows. That was how he found out about her magic. Perizada could do things, amazing things, that no one else could ever do. He began to dream that she might even have the power to make him beautiful, and if she could do that, then there was nothing that could keep them apart... except for Orsino.

Patrick was genuinely afraid of Orsino. Over the years his anger toward the man grew more and more bitter. It began to fester into a deep and abiding hatred. He fantasized about killing Orsino, almost as frequently as he fantasized about bedding Perizada, until his fantasy slowly began to turn into a plan. Getting a gun was the hard part. He didn't like or trust anyone in the theater aside from Perizada, and he knew that he couldn't have her involved in his plan. Orsino watched her too closely, and she always did everything he told her to do, even when Patrick could tell that she didn't want to.

Eventually though, he got up the courage to approach one of the rousties for help, someone that was new and didn't have a lot of friends with the show. Once he had the gun, he didn't do anything with it. The roustie that helped him, knew about the gun, and Patrick was afraid that if he killed Orsino he would surely get caught. He lost the courage to act.

He kept the gun under his pillow at night, and touched it while he fondled himself, and thought of Perizada, and how happy they were going to be, once Orsino was gone. Then the roustie that helped him, quit the show, and he might have done it then, but he felt certain that the man must have told someone about the gun, and that he was still in danger, but in truth he was beginning to believe that he would never find the nerve to actually kill someone.

But this night, Orsino had caught Patrick masturbating while watching Perizada undress after her performance. Had Orsino beat him or berated him, things might have happened differently, but Orsino just laughed. He took one look at Patrick's small cock, still in his hand, and nearly doubled over laughing.

Something snapped in Patrick. He jumped on Orsino, thrashing at him with all of his might, but Orsino threw him off like he was nothing. To Orsino, Patrick was nothing. Orsino might have killed Patrick then. There was a murderous look in the man's eyes. So Patrick ran, and Orsino chased him, right off the carnival grounds and into the woods.

The gun was in Patrick's coat pocket the entire time. It wasn't loaded, but he had the bullets with him too. He liked to have the gun and the bullets with him when he watched Perizada. It made his fantasies feel like they might become real. He had gone so far as getting the gun after all. Someday he might get Perizada too.

Patrick hid in a bush and watched Orsino looking for him. His night vision had always been good. No one had seen his fight with Orsino, Perizada might have heard something, but she didn't come out. It was the perfect time and the perfect place.

Patrick loaded the gun quietly in the dark, and then he stood up and shot Orsino again and again. Then he ran away.

It took him a while to get up the courage to go back to the carnival, but he wanted to see Perizada right away. He should not have waited so long, because he watched Mr. D go into her trailer just ahead of him. So he hid and waited.

When Mr. D came out of her place, he was naked and smiling. Patrick didn't have to guess why. He had gotten very good at spying on Perizada over the years. He watched them together for a few moments, until the jealousy and rage became more than he could bare, so he moved away and cried under his wagon, until it was over.

It wasn't fair! He was the one who had risked everything to get rid of Orsino. He was the one who ought to be in there with her!

Once he felt sure that D was safely away, he came out from under the wagon and approached Perizada's vardo.

 

[haremfaery]

Once D left her, Perizada began dressing and remembered that she had magicked away D's clothes, not that he seemed to care. but she sent them to his wagon neatly folded for his to discover whenever he returned. She put on a caftan and real shoes instead of slippers, they were better for walking around the grounds.

She felt anxious at the prospect of actually being in possession of her vessel. She would hide it and no one would be able to be her master. She would be able to test her limits at her leisure.

She stepped out of the vardo and stopped as she saw the poor misshapen boy. "Patrick, is something the matter?" He must have heard of Orsino's death--word traveled fast in the carnival. Perhaps he had come to let her know. Perhaps he just wanted to see her. Had he seen D leave the vardo? She hoped not. She would never knowingly hurt the boy. Life was far to cruel already. She would never add to anyone's pain. Not on her own.

She knew he liked being around her, the others didn't tease him when she was hearing distance. She surmised that he was in love with her. Puppy love, she had heard it called when one so young experienced first love. Was that how D saw her love for him? Thinking of her relationship with Patrick allowed her to trade places with D and see things through his eyes. Her feelings for D, he really was her first love. D must look at her the way she looked at Patrick. Although D was more than willing to sleep with her. She felt no attraction whatsoever that way about Patrick.

Orsino would occasionally tease (threaten?) her that he would order her suck Patrick's cock while he watched. She could never be sure if he was serious or not. He relished humiliating her, embarrassing her, frequently in private, but sometimes in public as well. Along with his physical abuses, Perizada thought his emotional manipulations were far worse. Her physical scars healed far rapidly than if she were human, but the mental scars, those lingered. She still carried many with her, even after his death.

 

[Zagreus_D]

Mr. D POV

D returned to his own living space. He preferred to have a tent setup rather than living out of a vardo or trailer. He noticed his clothing folded neatly on the table beside his simple cot, and gave a smile at Perizada's thoughtfulness.

He laid down on his bed, but he felt too restless to sleep. He didn't feel right with how he left things with Perizada, and he felt like he ought to go back an apologize for the brusque way that he left. No. Perizada was fine. He would talk to her about it tomorrow. He rolled over and tried to close his eyes. He felt bothered that he didn't know for sure if her vessel was even in the safe or not. He needed to go check. No. If the vessel was not there then they could solve that problem in the morning. He needed to let go and get some rest. Yes, but at the very least he should be there with Perizada while she got into the safe, if someone else saw her they might be suspicious about her activities and... No.

D tossed and turned, trying to dismiss each compulsive desire to see Perizada, to see her vessel, to hold the vessel, to own the vessel, to own Perizada, to hold Perizada. It was a hopeless losing battle within his own mind, and as soon as he made up his mind to go to her, he stopped himself and forced himself back into his own bed.

Patrick POV

Patrick threw his arms around Perizada in a desperate embrace, pressing his face into the waves of her dark, beautiful hair. In all his years of knowing her, he had never done anything so bold. He had always kept a respectful distance, but everything was different now, wasn't it?

When he released her from his embrace he turned his face away from her, so that she didn't have to look at him. "Please," he spoke quietly in his odd nasal voice, "There are things I have to tell you. Really important. Can we go in there?" He pointed to Perizada's vardo, where she had just come from, where she had just made love to Mr. D. He felt his face flush hot with jealousy but he would not show it, not to her, not ever.

 

[haremfaery]

For Patrick (Zagreus)

Perizada patted Patrick's head as she would a child when he hugged her. She nearly called him moosh which means mouse in Farsi and is a term of endearment used for children and sometimes lovers. But she stopped herself even if he wouldn't know what it meant. The poor boy was called Rat. Moosh was too close to an insult even if she didn't mean it to be.

"My poor lamb! What is wrong? I was just going to get something..." She had never seen Patrick like this before. Sad, defeated, angry, even sobbing on one occasion, but never like this. He seemed agitated or excited. She had no idea what it might mean. Did he know something about Orsino's death, or know who killed him? Not that she cared, she was happy to be rid of the man.

"I suppose ... But you must be quick because I too have something important to do." She turned and opened the vardo door. Once inside, she straightened the bedclothes a bit before sitting down leaving the chair for Patrick as she had done with D. The parallels of the meetings were not lost on her.

"I am sorry for the disarray. I was looking for something important to me. Now tell me, bahrreh ((little sheep)) what brings you to me?"

 

[Zagreus_D]

Patrick looked nervously around the vardo. He felt oddly out of place. Part of him kept expecting Orsino to barge in, snatch him up by the neck and toss him outside, even though he knew that was impossible.

He looked at Perizada with large grey eyes. They were the only feature of his face that were not distorted and unnatural looking. He meant to sit down in the chair, to speak to her rationally, but that action would require a calm assurance that Patrick did not possess. Instead, he fell to his knees as Perizada's feet, and clutched one of her graceful hands in both of his grimy ones.

“I killed him. I killed Orsino.” He should have paused here, allowed her to respond, but his excitement and anxiety were too much and words poured out of him in a torrent. “I love you, Perizada. I've always loved you, and I couldn't stand seeing him hurt you. I want to be with you, take care of you. You can use your magic to make me beautiful like you, and then nothing would stop you from loving me too. We can both be happy forever!”

A trembling silence came over Patrick once he had said everything he meant to say. He waited for Perizada's response, full of hope and longing.

 

[haremfaery]

Many emotions flitted across Perizada's face: disbelief, shock, concern, and finally bewilderment. She could not believe that Patrick had truly murdered Orsino. Patrick was a shy and gentle boy. She could not imagine him raising a hand to anyone no matter how poorly he was treated. She well knew just how poorly Orsino treated him. Orsino was cruel and had no problem kicking someone when he was down, literally and figuratively.

She schooled her face into something neutral as Patrick made his declaration of love. The parallels of her conversation with D was not lost on her. How foolish she must have seemed to D now that she could see the situation from the other side of things, although for far different reasons.

"Patrick, Patrick, did you really kill him?" She looked for blood on his hands. "You did not have to do this for me. But if this is true, I am sure that Mr. D will protect you. I am not sad that Orsino is dead and I doubt anyone else is. I am grateful but . . . there are many things you do not know."

There were many things that Perizada did not know now that she was partially "free."

Even when Orsino was her master she was able to do some small magic on her own. Personal magic. But big magic--she could only do that when her master commanded her to. Could she fix Patrick's face on her own? What if she made things worse? She wouldn't hurt him for the world.

"Patrick, I don't know that I can do that--make you beautiful. And if I can, it won't change you on the inside. You will still be the same person. And magic . . . Magic may seem like a solution, but there is always a price to pay." She paused to let that sink in. Although it would change people's first impression of him.

She kissed his grubby fingers. "Patrick, my lamb, you know I have a great affection for you. But . . . I do not know that I could love you the way you want me to."