Thinking about transitioning...

[Stella_Omega]

That's actually a good point I think a lot of the trans community misses. Even if someone transitions into another gender they don't have to fit into the far end of the spectrum of their chosen gender. It's perfectly acceptable to transition into a different gender and still be somewhere on the middle.

yep-- although the first flush of transition can make a person want to exhibit the most girlyish of girlness, or the most macho of manhood, before they settle in... it's just that my male role models are David Bowie not Tom Jones, or Johnny Depp not Sylvester Stallone.

Whoah, show my age, why don't I!

 

[HarlotMinx]

yep-- although the first flush of transition can make a person want to exhibit the most girlyish of girlness, or the most macho of manhood, before they settle in... it's just that my male role models are David Bowie not Tom Jones, or Johnny Depp not Sylvester Stallone.

Whoah, show my age, why don't I!

So what.... you'll be pissing your name in the snow and scratching your crotch in public?

God I have a image of you walking around dressed as rambo.... amusing to say the least

 

[Stella_Omega]

So what.... you'll be pissing your name in the snow and scratching your crotch in public?

God I have a image of you walking around dressed as rambo.... amusing to say the least

I scratch in public anyway...

And I'm wearing camo fatigues as I sit here typing! What can I say? They're comfy!

 

[tccapt]

Wow! wonderful thoughts!

I scratch in public anyway...

And I'm wearing camo fatigues as I sit here typing! What can I say? They're comfy!

Hi Stella. I am new to here and just found the threads tonight. your's caught my eye. I feel for your sence of loss at not having had what you have felt for so long should have been a part of your body and your life. And the advice and encouragement you got here all sounds very good to me. I am not in your shoes, but have at times had similar thoughts, but from the "other" side.

I have wondered off and on if I should have been a woman. Having been married for almost 35 years now, I do not think I will be exploring any changes soon. That said, I still wonder how many things in my life might have been different and how much I have missed because I am a man rather than a woman.

Anyhow, rather than turning this into a long book, I just had 2 things I really wanted to write to you. First, I laughed at your comment about the camo fatigues... mostly because I so love to get to wear stockings, garters, panties and angthing with a silky feel to it! Like I said, my comments are "from the other side." The second thing I wanted to say is to think about what you need in your life and do what you have to to get there, or at least head in that direction. Do not let what others think sway you from doing what you need to do for you! No one can make you happy and fulfilled unless you can feel that way yourself about yourself.

My best wishes for you. I hope that whatever you decide you find inner peace and happyness with it... and if someday you wake up with that "wood" in the morning that you had always felt was missing, for goodness sake ENJOY IT!!!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Someone in AH keeps calling me "lady" --totally in old-fashioned knee-jerk respect, of course-- so I changed my av. First thing I got from him was "That av doesn't suit you, buddy." But he isn't calling me "lady" any longer!

tccapt, thanks

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Someone in AH keeps calling me "lady" --totally in old-fashioned knee-jerk respect, of course-- so I changed my av. First thing I got from him was "That av doesn't suit you, buddy." But he isn't calling me "lady" any longer!

tccapt, thanks

Yessir! I don't know much about F2M or the reverse, but seems the challenges are much more difficult for a female because of what the doctor's have to work with to create a penis. A friend told me there is about 10% compared to a male. Anyway Stella, I hope you find what you are looking for, because you are one fine fella, and a quite proper pain in the bottom (I like pain and bottoms BTW)--uhm,oh shit, should I say lady?--damn, it is confusing to get the born physical and mental traits clear, and know how to refer to one such as you. How about I just say you are coolio?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Dude, I'm a dude.

And female, but I am not now nor never have been, a motherfucking lady!

Joking aside, trans ettiquette says that the minute someone announces their trans status, they become their preferred pronoun. it's a little strange at first, to look at some delicate-faced, 34-24-34 bodied person and think of him as a man-- but we get used to it.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Dude, I'm a dude.

And female, but I am not now nor never have been, a motherfucking lady!

Joking aside, trans ettiquette says that the minute someone announces their trans status, they become their preferred pronoun. it's a little strange at first, to look at some delicate-faced, 34-24-34 bodied person and think of him as a man-- but we get used to it.

Gawd, your gonna kick my ass, dude. But I would probably like that

And, joking aside, now I know so no excuses--kick away.:caning:

 

[Stella_Omega]

Gawd, your gonna kick my ass, dude. But I would probably like that

And, joking aside, now I know so no excuses--kick away.:caning:

I can think of a hundred things I'd like to do to you-- kicking is about number 99 on that list.


Well... maybe 98.

 

[Etoile]

Joking aside, trans ettiquette says that the minute someone announces their trans status, they become their preferred pronoun. it's a little strange at first, to look at some delicate-faced, 34-24-34 bodied person and think of him as a man-- but we get used to it.

Unless that person is Mike Penner/Christine Daniels, and then everybody gets all uppity. "He went back to being a man!" "She was always a woman and was forced back to manhood!" "Why doesn't anybody know about gender-neutral pronouns?!" Argh.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

Unless that person is Mike Penner/Christine Daniels, and then everybody gets all uppity. "He went back to being a man!" "She was always a woman and was forced back to manhood!" "Why doesn't anybody know about gender-neutral pronouns?!" Argh.

It's new conceptually for me. I have just wrapped my brain around the fact that FTM is a male in gender, in the psyche, in the brain. And this thread and a couple of friends explained it to me. It's not disrespect at least with me. It's ignorance, so I seek to understand.

I'm a lesbian, 100%. I was born this way by the combination of genetic mix that created me. I didn't ask for it, or the Doctor didn't give it to me. It just is. It is much the same I would think with you, except my outside was born with the equipment that matched the psyche. That is about as far as I can understand it, because, truly you can't know unless it is you.

and I hope this isn't too stupid. Well, screw it if it is and offer suggestions. I'm open to learn.

And Stella, what's #1?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Unless that person is Mike Penner/Christine Daniels, and then everybody gets all uppity. "He went back to being a man!" "She was always a woman and was forced back to manhood!" "Why doesn't anybody know about gender-neutral pronouns?!" Argh.

Who gets uppity? people who don't matter, that's who.

It simply stinks that there are so few of us that every one of us must be diplomat for all the rest-- sort of like women who talk about feminism, where we STILL judge feminist thought by the things Andrea Dworkin said fifty years ago.

It's new conceptually for me. I have just wrapped my brain around the fact that FTM is a male in gender, in the psyche, in the brain. And this thread and a couple of friends explained it to me. It's not disrespect at least with me. It's ignorance, so I seek to understand.

I'm a lesbian, 100%. I was born this way by the combination of genetic mix that created me. I didn't ask for it, or the Doctor didn't give it to me. It just is. It is much the same I would think with you, except my outside was born with the equipment that matched the psyche. That is about as far as I can understand it, because, truly you can't know unless it is you.

and I hope this isn't too stupid. Well, screw it if it is and offer suggestions. I'm open to learn.

Nope, not too stupid at all! In fact, its just about perfect.

And Stella, what's #1?

meeting for coffee would be a good way to get started, IMO...

 

[playwithlezli]

Unless that person is Mike Penner/Christine Daniels, and then everybody gets all uppity. "He went back to being a man!" "She was always a woman and was forced back to manhood!" "Why doesn't anybody know about gender-neutral pronouns?!" Argh.

I ,for one, would love to see gender neutral pronouns in common usage. Etoile, didn't you used to have a link in your sig line?


Stella, just to be clear, so I don't put my foot in it, which is a common occurence for me anyways, have you made your announcement? I am thinking of this thread as a query, but maybe I misread it. So, would you prefer masc or fem nomenclature?

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

meeting for coffee would be a good way to get started, IMO...

a true gentleman

 

[Stella_Omega]

I ,for one, would love to see gender neutral pronouns in common usage. Etoile, didn't you used to have a link in your sig line?


Stella, just to be clear, so I don't put my foot in it, which is a common occurence for me anyways, have you made your announcement? I am thinking of this thread as a query, but maybe I misread it. So, would you prefer masc or fem nomenclature?

Both? Either? Neither?

I used to say that I was Shanglan's polar opposite because Shanglan claims neither sex, while I claim all of them. Turns out to be true in some other ways, too.

a true gentleman

You would not believe how long it took me to learn that one!

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

You would not believe how long it took me to learn that one!

and it took me awhile justa say i was a lez--used to say bi. But it was a lie.

I'm a Queer? The Doctor Forgot to Tell Me

I've often been told that I am a queer,
miscreant evil born to be feared.

Go hide your daughters from my perversion,
sickened in mind is my lusty excursion.

Let's witness my timely execution,
and laugh at my fucking goddam confusion.

God? Not hardly.

This is the way sperm and egg made me,
and fuck you if you don't agree with the effort.
There's nothing I can do that will change it,
save love a woman the way nature intended

for me to love a woman.

 

[AoNoDoY]

Stella, I've always admired your forthrightness, intelligence, and compassion on the board. I offer you encouragement and hope on your journey.

I'm glad you started the thread. Among other things, I was inspired to call my friend who is transgendered F>M as well. He reports he has found a psychologist a couple hours away who will see him a couple times, then likely write letters to a psychiatrist and endocrinologist? to start hormones. He's not quite sure WHEN he will start, but he is hopeful that the treatment will bring him an improved sense of rightness in his own skin as you described.

It sounds like you are doing the right things in building a support network.

I guess we're slowly getting to a place where we have the language to talk about the feelings and energies of life, though not fast enough for me. Sometimes it seems the human tendency to arbitrarily organize and categorize is directly at odds with our ability to feel and freakin' live. That's why I say long live art and Mystery!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Wow.

Thank you for your kind words, Andy.

Sooo.

Today, I'm not feeling the strain of being trans, as much as I am feeling completely intimidated by this awesome woman who is butcher than me, a better blogger than me, and I bet she's getting laid more than me, too

I read a review of the "share" dildo, from a transman who said that he can jack off with it! jacking the shaft, transmits the sensations to his g-spot. AAAAHHHH!

I ordered one, and fucking CAME as I hit "complete payment." Just thinking about it. If it works...

I do know that I need T though.

 

[Etoile]

SugarButch's blog is what I wanted Cyber Dyke Blog to be...I don't even have control of it anymore, I didn't have time for it.

The Share, eh? I've heard only good things, but I've pretty much only used the Nexus. I think the Share is probably a little better targeted for the G-spot though.

 

[Stella_Omega]

it looks like the best bet for me-- big enough to make some real impression on my gspot. Even so, I have a feeling I'll be redesigning the insertable dildo by the end of this year... because I'm picky that way. Why cant the Share have a pair of free-swinging balls, huh?

 

[Etoile]

That's an excellent point, I don't think I've ever seen a double with balls...

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's an excellent point, I don't think I've ever seen a double with balls...

see, I'm thinking dildoes like these aren't quite the same as doubles, they are more like a huge step forward for strapons-- I want it to be an extension of myself. A pair of ballocks would feel so good!

 

[HarlotMinx]

Heh, I'm glad you liked that blog, and yes sugarbutch is a awesome blog. Yesterday I performed at suspend DC, the local suspension event..... sigh I saw this one butch who went up who made me weak in the knees. Half considered poisoning her girlfriend's drink.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Heh, I'm glad you liked that blog, and yes sugarbutch is a awesome blog. Yesterday I performed at suspend DC, the local suspension event..... sigh I saw this one butch who went up who made me weak in the knees. Half considered poisoning her girlfriend's drink.

you performed? Tell us! Start a new thread!

 

[infinity706]

SO TROOOO!

And I do keep waffling back and forth. Someone just this morning told me about a real live face-to-face support group for androgynes, and offered to go with me-- s/he's in much the same position as myself.

So I am going to explore that.

Hee, I like stud!

When you google testosterone for women, everyone parrots the same damn things; "unwanted side effects can include hirsuitness, a deeper voice, less body fat, an enlarged clitoris."

I keep saying; "How is a larger clit a bad thing?"

My mother... i dunno. My parents were part of the Hollywood swinging crowd, back in the day. And it's amazing to realise that they lived such an open life, and so little slipped in. And my mother has shed interests as she's gotten older.

Enlarged clits are neat, but it's relative. Even if you took the steroids, you'd probably get, at most half an inch. I don't think you'll be any better off than you would be with a "normal" sized clit. Now, the hormones will give you more of a masculine appearance, but you're still going to have to fuck any partner you have with a dildo. You can, however, get a blowjob with your new half inch dick.

As for why large clits are a bad thing, though, it's because a lot of professionals don't want to admit that males and females develop from exactly the same set of parts. Just about everything can be attributed to the effects of testosterone/estrogen levels. It's no different than why a lot of women get some facial hair after menopause and men put on weight as they age, since their hormone levels balance out. It's a huge threat to homophobia, though, to admit that the sex of an embryo could be altered simply by a mother being on hormone therapy. If an XX embryo got exposed to testosterone from a mother's low sex drive treatment, you'd end up with a male appearing child. If an XY embryo got flooded with estrogen because a mother didn't realize she was pregnant and kept taking birth control, she could have a female appearing child since the estrogen would drive down testosterone production. Of course, if such a thing happened, it could easily be corrected during puberty with a little hormone therapy.