SleepingWarrior
Egocentric Sociopath
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2001
- Posts
- 20,753
The Top 16 Worst Breakup Excuses
16> "Ow... I banged my head! That really hurt!
Hey... who are YOU?"
15> "I'm sorry, but there just isn't room in my life right now
for both you and my vibrator."
14> "I've got this disease... it's called herpigonasyphalaids.
Very contagious."
13> "You're too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the
same age? Well, that doesn't work for me, either."
12> "We're just so different, you and I. You're an extrovert,
I'm an introvert. I like classical, you like heavy metal.
And of course *I'm* not a physically repulsive raving
psychopath."
11> "You've gone from 'sponge-worthy' to merely 'spongy.'"
10> "Dear Christine: By the time you read this I'll be a
woman..."
9> "I have early-onset onanism."
8> "You're no longer the wealthy, gullible, and desperately
lonely man I fell in love with."
7> "My penis, uh, fell off, and I, er, lost it... yeah -- on
the subway, I think."
6> "Less filling? LESS FILLING??? I don't even know who you
ARE anymore!"
5> "My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in
order to train them to attack your picture."
4> "It's not *you*, it's me. Specifically, me would like to
sleep with your sister."
3> "I had lunch at the Hunan Palace today and according to
the place mat, you're a snake and I'm a mongoose."
2> "We just don't have anything in common anymore -- you're
a morning person, and I want to see your severed head
impaled on a steel railroad spike."
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Worst Breakup Excuse...
1> "I'm holding you back from all the other lives you could
be ruining."
16> "Ow... I banged my head! That really hurt!
Hey... who are YOU?"
15> "I'm sorry, but there just isn't room in my life right now
for both you and my vibrator."
14> "I've got this disease... it's called herpigonasyphalaids.
Very contagious."
13> "You're too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the
same age? Well, that doesn't work for me, either."
12> "We're just so different, you and I. You're an extrovert,
I'm an introvert. I like classical, you like heavy metal.
And of course *I'm* not a physically repulsive raving
psychopath."
11> "You've gone from 'sponge-worthy' to merely 'spongy.'"
10> "Dear Christine: By the time you read this I'll be a
woman..."
9> "I have early-onset onanism."
8> "You're no longer the wealthy, gullible, and desperately
lonely man I fell in love with."
7> "My penis, uh, fell off, and I, er, lost it... yeah -- on
the subway, I think."
6> "Less filling? LESS FILLING??? I don't even know who you
ARE anymore!"
5> "My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in
order to train them to attack your picture."
4> "It's not *you*, it's me. Specifically, me would like to
sleep with your sister."
3> "I had lunch at the Hunan Palace today and according to
the place mat, you're a snake and I'm a mongoose."
2> "We just don't have anything in common anymore -- you're
a morning person, and I want to see your severed head
impaled on a steel railroad spike."
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Worst Breakup Excuse...
1> "I'm holding you back from all the other lives you could
be ruining."
