Topic: Guardianship

[Guest]

Just go into court and repeat what you said here. You won't have to worry about it because they will make the decision for you.

Foster care would not be a bad thing if your Dad is out in February, it's a month or so, but better than you taking on the child and not coping and anything, god forbid, happening to him.

Don't be selfish and think about yourself, think about what's best for the baby and sorry, but after what you've written, it's not you.

 

[SilverVeil]

From further postings you have made, it seems as if this would be temporary. You would be amazed at what you can find inside yourself when called upon to love and care for a child who apparently has no one else in the family.

If you do get guardianship, it WILL be difficult, but inside you there is loving that this child needs, and you will find it.

There are lots of places that you can get assistance for the child and YOURSELF while he is with you. WIC, AFDC, community programs, the court should help you find a list of them. And it might be for just a little while if your dad might get out in Feb.

Whatever decision you make, be sure that it is the best for both you and the child. Please let us know what happens.

I know it is hard to ask for support and not hear the things you want to hear. But you have to see that just by replying to your post, people DO care. And are concerned both for you and your baby brother.

No matter what, good luck today. ((((( hug )))))

 

[Mistress]

I just wanted to take a few moments and post a Thank You for all those who have shown concern and support for me. I let myself get a little overwhelmed with the realization of what might happen. I had a 'thought bomb' dropped on me with no time to prepare for it. I let myself get too unnerved about it, but now I'm ok. Thank you everyone for offering what all you did, I appreciate it. Freakygurl you have a PM hon, thank you. Lavy does too

Now, to unregistered: If your trying to upset me by your post, guess what it didn't work. I happen to know I AM the best thing for that baby if I get guardianship. And before you even think to go there again, I am not mentally unstable enough to harm a child. Nor myself in that matter, I think its pretty damn good I have gone a year without medication and haven't had any fall backs. I have Cyclothymia, it can be treated, it's genetic but it can be treated. I AM not crazy, or anywhere close, I just have a varity of mood flux, it happens. On a second note, my grandparents would help out but I can not depend on their help alone. We watch my 4 year old cousin during the day, I'd hate to have to add a one year old into that, so of course Day care and babysitting would come in for my brother. I'd rather pay money for that then meds. I am not that dependant on medication, it just helps.

Once again thank you everyone, I'll be home later this afternoon and let you all know something. Like I said I let myself get overwhelmed, I was looking more to the bad aspect of what can happen, and not focusing on the fact that everything should be ok. And if it does not turn out ok, then I have a ton of people who will help and give me support. Thank You.

 

[SilverVeil]

 

[Guest]

What I said was not meant to upset, but perhaps to show you the reality of it.

I never said you were crazy or anything even close to it. You stated yourself that you should be on medication and arent' and are subject to mood swings. The thought of this whole thing had you depressed and almost in a panic mode. Just the thought of it.

I doubt that you are the best thing for the baby and I'm sorry if you don't wish to hear that. You've laid all your fears and problems out in the open and if you want lies that's fine, but you need to face reality.

You can't afford your meds, who is going to pay to clothe/feed this child? Who will look after him while you're at work? Mentally you aren't strong enough, you've admitted it.

Now be honest and do what's best for the child.

 

[Cheyenne]

I don't believe any court would grant custody today without some kind of order to have the person checked out first, just like any foster parent would have to be checked before children are placed with them. But I'm not a lawyer so I don't know for sure.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Whatever happens, it'll happen. I think you'll be just fine as his gaurdian. I honestly don't think that you would be the kind of parent that is a danger to her children. You have a soft heart, and a genuine affection for kids. Everything will work out. And we're always here for advice.

 

[Georgia Girl]

I agree that within yourself you will find all that you need to be able to take care of your brother. You have shown yourself to be strong and if that is what it comes down to then you stand a little straighter and you move forward.

As a side note: I will be in KY in not very long and have lots of boys infant/toddler clothing. They are all ready to take to Goodwill but if you would like them I don't mind bringing them up with me when I come up. Just an offer, take it or leave it.

Dawn

 

[ShortStuff]

Mistress,

I was unable to post this last night, for one reason or another, but I just wanted to let you know you're in my prayers and I hope all goes well for you today.

And though Im new here, I just wanted to let you know that if you ever wanna talk or need anything, you can PM me.

 

[texas_guy]

Hope everything works out for you Mistress. Not much else can be said then that.

 

[Gilly Bean]

I don't believe any court would grant custody today without some kind of order to have the person checked out first, just like any foster parent would have to be checked before children are placed with them. But I'm not a lawyer so I don't know for sure.

My guess from reading what she has written thus far, is that the parents are giving her custody until such time as they are fit to take over. In a case where both legal guardians are unable to take over the welfare of a child, so long as the child is not in danger, they are allowed to name who will take over the welfare of the child.


In short, the mother may go to jail, but has already named the sister as next of kin. She would automatically get guardianship, unless she asks the court not to give it to her. Its not a ruling on whether the child is best with this person or that, but a ruling as to where the mother will be for the next X amount of days/weeks/months.



Mistress- i hope you make the desicion you know is best for both you AND the child. Short term help is available for both you and the child in cases such as this. Department of Social Services/Family Independant Agency (whatever they call themselves where you live) can get you help with food, daycare costs, and medical coverage. If you choose the road of taking over, even temporarily, look into these options. It will help out the finachial burdens considerably, and leave your mind a bit more at ease for the emotional burdens that will follow.

I know parents complain quite a bit about the misadventures of thier children, but you may be suprised at how capable and ready you really are, once it happens. No one is fully prepared to be a parent, acting or standing. Some of the most likely canidates to be parents turn out to be the least likely, while the least likely stand out as very good canidates. Things may not turn out to be the best they can be, but it would give both you and your brother an oppertunity to get to know each other. An oppertunity to show you what kind of a parent you might be some day.

Good Luck, and please, if you ever have any questions, concerns, or just need to vent about parent-hood, let the board know. That's what alot of us use it for.

 

[SweetBrat73]

Mistress I really hope all goes well for you and am looking forward to the update...good luck with everything...you're in my prayers too...


Georgia Girl...LoL if she doesn't need those clothes I'll take em
I've got a 8mo. old boy and another on the way

 

[Georgia Girl]

Not a problem on the clothes. In the process of moving I went through Noah's things and ended up with over 300 things that don't fit anymore, but then his infant stuff never did fit. He weighed 10 lbs. 12 ozs. at birth - left the hospital in a 3-6 mo. outfit.

Mistress, keep us posted please. As Gilly said there are lots of parents here and we do what we can even if it is only to listen.

Dawn

 

[Nigel]

Mistress:

I can offer neither insight nor advice. It's a tough decision, and not one to be made lightly. All I can offer is my support, a shoulder to cry on, and a lot of cyber hugs. I know it's not much, but it is what I can do.

Hugs,

Nigel

 

[Mistress]

Three hours.

WE waited three hours for them to talk to my dad's girlfriend and nothing. That baby is such a good baby, he was not fussy that whole three hours but he damn sure kept me on my toes! LOL! I got to see him WALK! He took 5 steps to me, I was thrilled! Even though she talked to someone during each break, she was still not called in. Finally the judge was like, 'I didn't know you were here and that you were waiting!' Riiiiight, it must have been the lawyers fault for not telling them! LOL! Anyways nothing happened, it'll all have to be done another day....

And Gilly is right, they have named me as guardian, so there won't be a ruling. If you want to use a minor mental illness as an excuse for me to not have a baby then there are a hell of a lot of people out there who don't need their kids. My sister's mother is one of them, constantly put into the VA hospital since both sister's birth and yet they still take the kids back to her regardless of the abuse they go through dealing with a nut case mom (Who actually IS a nutcase)

When they were babies and she was wacked out she would put bottles in the stove and diapers in the fridge. I think that qualifies as possible harm to a infant, but guess what they never did anything. She went into the hospital for a week and when she felt better she came back out. And considering I'm the only family this baby has if both parents are in jail then I will get it. And I'll handle it one day at a time if that does happen.

 

[ShortStuff]

I liked the outcome of this

Im so glad things worked out OK for you, Mistress. Thats a good attitude to take about life, one day at a time.

*cheer*

 

[Wanderer D]

Thank you all.

Yea even you, Trollregistered. For letting Mistress show the strength I know is within her.

 

[Cheyenne]

If you want to use a minor mental illness as an excuse for me to not have a baby then there are a hell of a lot of people out there who don't need their kids.

I'm glad it all worked out for you. But I didn't want to let this thread go yet if you thought that people were posting you shouldn't take the child only due to your minor mental illness. No one here said that.

What you did say was that YOU thought there were quite a few issues, as you stated in your first post. You said you weren't able to fully take care of yourself. You work second shift, don't drive, and depend on others. You said there was no room in your house for a baby room. You said you were suffering from depression (and a broken heart, although I wouldn't think that would necessarily affect you taking care of the baby.) You said you couldn't afford $300 per month for medicine for yourself, but you would have to use daycare and babysitters to help with this baby if you got him. So, where were you going to live with the child and what were you going to use to pay for daycare and babysitters? It was the PRACTICAL problems you listed that I based my comments on, not just your mental illness. You didn't seem to have any logical plan as to how to handle the situation, and also didn't seem to have the confidence that you could do it. The list of issues you posted is the reason I asked you to think about it and say"no" if that was the answer that was best for the child.

 

[Guest]

Cheyenne got it in a nutshell and I believe that is the same point I made.

But of course, you would take it as a slight, when in fact it was based on the facts that you yourself posted.

I remember along time back stuff being posted by KidCock that I won't repeat or get into, but I'd say doing stuff like that to yourself means you do need your medication.

If you can't deal with day to day on a regular basis, throwing a child into the mix won't help. I do see a good example of an extremely dysfunctional family, except for your grandparents, who you haven't said anything bad about. Maybe they should be the guardians.

 

[Mistress]

I remember along time back stuff being posted by KidCock that I won't repeat or get into, but I'd say doing stuff like that to yourself means you do need your medication.

If you can't deal with day to day on a regular basis, throwing a child into the mix won't help. I do see a good example of an extremely dysfunctional family, except for your grandparents, who you haven't said anything bad about. Maybe they should be the guardians.

You obviously don't listen too good either, or you just like to hear what you want to hear. That is all old news...like when I was 14 years old, you can not hold that against me, I was a kid. I wasn't even diagnoised (sp) with my Cyclothymia until I was about 21, I apparently was able to go that long without too many fallbacks as well before medication.

Like I said I have done very well without meds this past year. And no family is perfect....
I never said I couldn't deal on a day to day basis, I just get a little over whelmed sometimes, everyone does. Extremely disfunctional family, not exactly, just not a perfect one....