Totally Useless Information

[Que]

NASA had to rename the sizes of the early condom like apparatus used for male astronauts to pee in from small, medium and large to large, gigantic and humongous because no one was willing to pick their true size.

Trojan has done the same thing. 15 years ago it was regular, large, and magnum.

Now it is Trojan, Magnum, and Magnum X- to make amply, but not porn-ly endowed men feel better about themselves.

 

[oggbashan]

A duck's quack doesn't echo.

French ducks' quacks are different from English ducks' quacks, even if they are the same variety of duck.

The English for the sounds a duck makes is 'quack, quack' (you knew that anyway!); the French is 'coin; coin' - pronounced 'qwa-ann' a more metallic sound ('orrible pun!) than a quack.

 

[oggbashan]

Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc was tried and condemned by French clergy (admittedly paid by the English).

She was burned at the stake for 'heresy'. What was her 'heresy'?

Cross-dressing - wearing male attire. But she resumed a dress and repented. Why then was she condemned?

An English Lord tried to rape her in her cell. She resumed male clothing to make it more difficult for her to be raped. It is also thought that her jailers took her female clothing away so that all she had to wear was male clothing.

But even that was not heresy if there was a reason for cross-dressing. As a single female in the middle of an army, dressing as a male was prudent. In her prison she only had male guards - illegal under Canon Law.

Joan of Arc was betrayed by Frenchmen, condemned by French clergy and the main role of the English was to provide the fire to burn her (and to take the blame!). Yet she is a heroine of France.

 

[warrior queen]

Snails are territorial. If you pick them up and dump them less than 100 metres from where you got them, they will (eventually) make their way back to your garden.

 

[Sean]

A duck's quack doesn't echo.

False.

 

[Tryharder62]

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

 

[Lorilei]

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

 

[pointless]

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

that's not actually true. i mean they can't, but they're not alone.

 

[Tryharder62]

that's not actually true. i mean they can't, but they're not alone.

I guess you are right. The sloth can't jump either. A rhino and hippo can't jump but can get all four "legs" off the ground at the same time. I don't know of any others. Thanks google and pointless.

Edited statement: Elephants can't jump!

 

[RobDownSouth]

A fly without wings is called a "walk".

 

[Lorilei]

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

 

[Que]

A fly without wings is called a "walk".

Why am I not surprised that you pulled wings off of flies?

 

[JohnnySavage]

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

The covering that surrounds a wall or door penetration is called an escutcheon.

 

[RobDownSouth]

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

There's an "I wanna stick my aglet in your grommet" joke in here somewhere, but I haven't had enough coffee yet.

 

[Tryharder62]

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

 

[oggbashan]

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

Air can be fatal if injected.

 

[cowslinger64]

Sounds about right


http://33.media.tumblr.com/3bd1cab2c1812413b8419987668fce76/tumblr_n8xbo9Kxwc1roqv59o1_500.png

 

[RobDownSouth]

Sounds about right


http://33.media.tumblr.com/3bd1cab2c1812413b8419987668fce76/tumblr_n8xbo9Kxwc1roqv59o1_500.png

Perfect.

 

[DooleyDarter]

Suck me off with a breast pump

 

[gotsnowgotslush]

How George Takei's Star Trek character, get the name of Lieutenant Sulu ?

Roddenberry did not want a nationally specific surname, so he looked at a map and saw the Sulu Sea. "He thought, 'Ah, the waters of that sea touch all shores'," the actor recalled, "and that's how my character came to have the name Sulu."

(I am watching NHK news, and George Takei said pretty much the same thing, on the program.)

http://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/english/tv/asianvoices/archives201406280300.html

 

[fma20fma]

hi

Suck me off with a breast pump

My ex bf said he used flashlite-whatever that is-when he was away from me.

 

[Queersetti]

Air can be fatal if injected.

That's not actually useless information.

 

[oggbashan]

Sounds about right


http://33.media.tumblr.com/3bd1cab2c1812413b8419987668fce76/tumblr_n8xbo9Kxwc1roqv59o1_500.png

Koalas are nocturnal. If you are in a Zoo and offered a chance to hold one - make sure it is after dark.

Koalas can be irritable if woken during they day. They can scratch and bite...





But their usual method of expressing their annoyance is to piss and shit on the unfortunate person holding them.

 

[Queersetti]

Koalas are nocturnal. If you are in a Zoo and offered a chance to hold one - make sure it is after dark.

Koalas can be irritable if woken during they day. They can scratch and bite...





But their usual method of expressing their annoyance is to piss and shit on the unfortunate person holding them.

But won't you just smell like eucalyptus then?

 

[oggbashan]

Elephant hairs are coarse and strong.

If offered a chance to ride bareback on an elephant, make sure you are wearing thornproof clothing, or sit on a cloth pad. If the elephant has just been bathing in a river, or has been hosed down, the hairs stand out more than usual.

If you are not protected, the hairs will puncture your skin like many needles.

I speak from personal experience - Ouch!

If you must ride an elephant bareback with nothing between you and the elephant's neck hairs, do not lower yourself vertically. Slide backwards a couple of inches as you sit. That will flatten the elephant's hairs.