Try This & Report Back

[Don K Dyck]

oh dear, im so sorry i didnt want to upset anyone, i thought i was in the best place for asking questions and getting some help, i thought perhaps something we where doing was wrong and causing this,

as i really do have such a hard time with sex and lack of any sensation at all where else can i ask then? ive tried all the other ways i could think, and yes sexualy im very niave and have no real way for getting the info, as nowhere addresses the problems that i have, it tends to make assumptions that i could feel stuff the rest of you all take so much for granted

sorry once again

Hi orgasmless . . . there is nothing to be sorry for . . . the solution for sexual niavity is education . . . read everything and anything about sex . . . OK, some good titles from personal experience:

1. The Masters & Johnston research from the 1960s;

2. The Karma Sutra, especially the Sir Richard Burton translation;

3. Henriques 3 volume History of Sex (if it is still available);

4. Alex Comfort (forgotten the title, but it was written in the 60s).

Here in Oz the 'girl' magazines have become the social vehicles for sex education; such titles as Cleo.

Then there could be value in professional counselling to sort out any impediments created by your previous experiences.

Learn about your body; what parts go where, what they do and and how they work. There are many pleasure points apart from the nipples and clitoris, and some don't turn on until a level of sexual arousal is reached.

Then, as always, a caring lover is a great asset. Take your time, relax, tell your partner what pleases/pleasures you and what does not, establish and patrol the boundaries of what you consider to be acceptable sexual practice, but be prepared to expand those boundaries as you gain confidence and want to experience other positions, practices or things.

Remember that in the Indian society after a wedding there is seven days of preparation for the first intercourse. It is a slow progress commencing with massage of the feet and slowly progressing by traditional stages to coitus. Western society could learn a lot from the East, as they did with the Karma Sutra.

Take the time to read this whole thread; it contains the distilled wisdom of many people who have learned how to pleasure their partners to ecstacy, much to their partner's and theri own satisfaction.

Female orgasm can be a difficult thing to initiate but masturbation is always an acceptable way to learn how your body works.

 

[orgasmless]

thanks for your comments and support on my quest for info.

i really didnt mean to hi jack the thread but well when he read mr ggg how to's and tried it out and we got the reaction that we did then where else was i going to post?

we are trying to get better informed etc but it isnt that easy, and doesnt help when we get comments such as before, education is seriously lacking in the uk, and availability of reliable resources very limited, i thought i was doing the best thing, perhaps not?

however, in this search i have found that most info relates to someone having the normal response to sex and when such as me i could read all i like but i dont feel even aroused then just where can i turn, because of this expectation within reading matter/info, its so frustrating as there arent any help pplaces for people such as me that just dont even get aroused in the first place.

 

[orgasmless]

dont click on this unless you dont mind being hacked!!!!

just thought i would warn you all

 

[MR.GGG]

Just to explain ...

Between Msg #2253 and #2254 some moron posted a link. O-less clicked on it and then posted her warning. Thanks. I notified the WebMeisters and they were kind enough to delete the msg with the bad link within about 20 minutes.

********

No need to apologize O-Less. I'm sorry nobody here has been able to help you. Quite a few tried but I thought it was getting a bit ridiculous when the advice deteriorated to "have happy thoughts and it might work for you."

I would say you need to do a LOT of research, stand up for yourself a bit more. By that I mean don't let your SO TELL YOU when you're having a good time when you're not and that includes telling you you ARE orgasming when you're not. I mean don't blow his masculinity completely but he has to know that what is happening ain't makin it.

I suspect there are some mental / emotional issues that have to be remedied before you allow yourself to enjoy sex but keep playing, keep doing your research and most of all keep up the communication with your SO so that he can help rather than make you feel worse for not having the reactions he sez you're having.

I wish I could "fix" what's ailing ya but the one thing that bubbles to the surface all through this thread (and others) is that we are all individuals and where some are freaks that they can orgasm during a sneeze you unfortunately have the opposites where vibrators, tongues, intercourse ... NUFFIN seems to work. I feel good about sharing the GSpot technique with so may people and I feel bad that some people have not made it work (I'm hoping) - YET. Keep trying but I know fershure that if nothing worked for me (yet) when it came to sex the LAST thing I would want to be thinking about is fuzzy puppies and old movies.

 

[kaledonia]

exception, not rule

just back from making love under african skies..everyone should try that, altho' the universe is a bit distracting! can't imagine how orgasmless managed to grow up in the uk and not find out about the joys of sex. every newspaper and magazine for the last 30 years has been explicit to the point of overkill! every gp can dispense advice, or refer to specialist clinics on the NHS. I went to one to have myself checked out after months of experimenting with g stimulation to little avail (except I learnt how to ejaculate). all normal, must be in my head. I'm about to try a g spot toy and will report back.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I in general had issues being pleasured during sex, no penis involved as im a gay female.

with regards to future sexual encounters, i wonder if this will help me, and how tired does it make you? like...coz i'd have to reciprocate if it was done for me. i wouldnt want to be too tired now!

so my question is, does it tire both parties out too much to keep going at other sexual activities shortly after?

 

[MR.GGG]

You say you "had" issues being pleasured during sex. What were they? Probably the most common is loss of concentration on the sensations you are feeling and that sometimes interferes with achieving your orgasm. Having to reciprocate shouldn't be an issue. Like a really nice backrub it's only fair and the decent thing to do to make your partner feel as good, yes?

The Technique is, like anything else you do - completely dependent on how far you go with it. Under the right circumstances and intensity you can make your partner pass out. To expect immediate reciprocation as soon as your partner passes out is obviously a dumb thought. Can you imagine regaining consciousness and your partner is in a snit because you didn't do anything back? Doiih!

Not having a GSpot myself (prostate IS different) I can't say how good this could be if done at the same time to your partner as your partner is doing you. From my "research" though the speed at which the orgasming party becomes MUSH is fairly quick so if you were both doing it you would likely both stop around the same time through sheer intensity and exhaustion. On most occasions that is "good enough."

What I find so much fun with this technique is being able to take a partner from being simply satiated like never before to what has been described as a SuperNovaGasm. If you can time the stimulus properly and keep your partner cuming for an hour or more (or a LOT more) and I'm talking HUGE body wracking screamers ... then your partner will be complete mush - a PUDDLE for at least 24 hours. You even have to help them to the can because their legs fold up on them. I suggest if somebody is so fragged and exhausted from G-Gasms that they can't even walk to the loo this is NOT a time to be expecting them to come back to bed and do you for the next 2+ hours.

Moderation will alleviate this "problem." Keep the marathons and the SuperNovaGasms for weekends and just make it a "your night and my night" kind of thing. You do her first - one or two nice Os and then she does the marathon on you. That's Friday night. Sat. night reverse it. Days off are a must though as spontaneous G-Gasms can persist for 48 hrs and most guys at a big corporate meeting WILL notice if a woman starts cuming during a presentation. Unless you've offered to test a new line of batteries or something, having a massive orgasm or three during a meeting may NOT be considered good business etiquette.






OH BTW, thanks for the kink test. I thought I was rather normal. I may have a dark side though with more secrets yet to be revealed ... I scored 585 and I was (mostly) honest even.

This is fun.

http://www.hotlanta.com/KINKTEST.ASP

Everybody should register and post their score.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Well i 'had' issues because i am no longer with my partner, so no sex atm.

I think it was more to do with the fact that she had no idea what she was doing and wouldn't take instruction. I was a virgin before her aswell but i guess maybe i had explored my own body more, and kind of had an idea of what to do. That and she was very very sensitive.

I think you mistook me for thinking that i or my sexual partner would expect immediate reciprocation, i amaware that this is probably not possible if this stimulation works as well as you and others have reported. I merely wanted an idea of timing, thought i guess this is dependent on individuals as well.

Ahhh, if only i was able to get away for a whole weekend with a potential sexual partner and devote the whole weekend to mind blowing, roof raising orgasms. God knows i certainly missed out on that with my 1st partner. I came mildly close when she went down on me.

Alas let's hope my next sexual encounter is far more rewarding, i am a very sexual person with a high sex drive and can come off not having felt much!

Thanks for your help ;-)

Ps. you are very welcome, i stole it off someone else earlier so i posted it though i fiind that it doesnt really account as well for lesbians/gay men as it tends to assume heterosexuality!

 

[MR.GGG]

more research is needed

""I came mildly close when she went down on me.""

Combining the two ( a GOOD tongue lashing AND the Technique) can tear ligaments, pull muscles, break bones, cause you to pass out from the intensity - neat stuff like that.

If you do both of these moves on your next partner don't be surprised if she doesn't believe you when you tell her you've only had ONE previous (and not terribly suckcessful) sexual relationship. You WILL become popular though.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

""I came mildly close when she went down on me.""

Combining the two ( a GOOD tongue lashing AND the Technique) can tear ligaments, pull muscles, break bones, cause you to pass out from the intensity - neat stuff like that.

If you do both of these moves on your next partner don't be surprised if she doesn't believe you when you tell her you've only had ONE previous (and not terribly suckcessful) sexual relationship. You WILL become popular though.

Maybe i should sell myself on the gay market as the onewith the magic touch? ive not got much else going for me in terms of hooking up!

Thanks for the sugegstions! i shall most definately report back, but you could be waiting a while!

 

[kaledonia]

we haven't heard from...

.......the team down under lately. maybe its the Big Event that takes up their time. I'd be interested to know if they feel any different about each other after they get hitched. and once again this important thread is on the second page! doesn't everyone realise how important a contribution it makes to world peace?! and , orgasmless, I printed the technique and passed it on to some recently 'out' gay gals, and will let you know when I hear anything (although its likely to be much screaming, if my instincts serve me well!).
good luck to evereyone out there : I for one will be persevering with the great experiment very soon again.

 

[orgasmless]

thanks to all that have tried and commented but after my trip to new york i have been diagnosed with vestibulodynia, i am now starting the search for a competant and reputable doctor to treat me and get me atleast painfree, and hopefully perhaps able to have a normal sex life as at the moment this is impossible for us, i can do so many things for him that he likes without penetration, but im human, i have feeling to and just how long can i do this without feeling jealous and left out and still carry on? its not an alternative that i want to continue with i want fixing!!!

 

[Bandit58]

.......the team down under lately. maybe its the Big Event that takes up their time. I'd be interested to know if they feel any different about each other after they get hitched.

LOL why would we? We've been living together for almost 3 years and I don't see a marriage certificate making any difference to the way we feel about each other - if anything it'll probably make the mushy factor go up!

thanks to all that have tried and commented but after my trip to new york i have been diagnosed with vestibulodynia, i am now starting the search for a competant and reputable doctor to treat me and get me atleast painfree, and hopefully perhaps able to have a normal sex life as at the moment this is impossible for us, i can do so many things for him that he likes without penetration, but im human, i have feeling to and just how long can i do this without feeling jealous and left out and still carry on? its not an alternative that i want to continue with i want fixing!!!

I had to google vestibulodynia, found a link that explains it for those who don't know what it is:

Vestibulodynia

There are some suggestions in the article which may help you. I am hoping your partner is supportive of you at this time - by the sounds of it this is not easily fixable and you will need love and reassurance and intimacy (not necessarily sexual). At least you now have a name for the condition you have and hopefully can work towards a solution. Best of luck to you

 

[Gil_T2]

.......the team down under lately. maybe its the Big Event that takes up their time. I'd be interested to know if they feel any different about each other after they get hitched. and once again this important thread is on the second page! doesn't everyone realise how important a contribution it makes to world peace?! and , orgasmless, I printed the technique and passed it on to some recently 'out' gay gals, and will let you know when I hear anything (although its likely to be much screaming, if my instincts serve me well!).
good luck to evereyone out there : I for one will be persevering with the great experiment very soon again.

well the sex is slowing down now only average 1 a day !!! na joking we do have a very healthy sex life & I do so enjoy G spotting her to watch the faces she pulls, the rolling eyes when i change speed & or intensity, the splutting incoherant vocals, the forgetting who is with her i hear her calling Oh God, Oh Fuck, Oh Jesus, Oh shit etc etc etc. I do get pleasure from showing a lady what she has missed, we are also waiting for a lady to join us in play (BANDIT is Bi) & I'm so looking forward to showing one of her lady friends how to get her squirting ( so far no lady has been able to get her to squirt ).

 

[emptynester]

Bandit58, thanks for the site regarding the explanation of her (orgasmless) condition.

Oless, at least now you understand the problems you have been having. Sounds like over time it is treatable. Take time to heal both mentally and physically. Satisfying your SO is important but so is your healing. From what I read, it will take his being patient and active participation in your healing process to speed things along. Hope all goes well and my thoughts are with you both.

 

[Amonara]

Hehe. Just saying thanks again for this thread. I've been having fun experiementing over the last year. I also have posted this link on several other message boards (gotta enlighten the masses). I noticed my FB must have read the link I posted, because he definitely tried out some of your tips.

I'm still working on acheiving the orgasm part. Not that G-spot stimulation doesn't feel great, but I feel like I have to stop him after a while because it gets too intense for me. And for some reason squirting all over the place and orgasming don't quite seem to correlate. Not that I mind, hehe, I just wish the gigantic wet spot would dry faster in this cold weather.

 

[brandis_man]

I tried this last week after reading the technique, and have a question or two:

I did the ass up/bent over pillows position with her and she did orgasm, but just once. It was similar to when she orgasms from clitoral stimulation. She did get very wet, but no "squirting" per se. The main thing is she was unable to cum again. When we first met I could give her multiples both from going down on her and from intercourse. Now its a rarity for her to cum twice in one session. I'd love to give her multiples again, but she gets very sensitive after her first one, making it hard for her to cum again. She says the orgasm is so intense that one is all she can muster. She is satisfied, but I want her to experience this.

I wonder if I found the right "spot"? It was just inside and up, basically right behind the clit, and there was a very small hump I could feel with my thumb. If I went higher it hurt her and would have been beyond my reach anyway. Like I said, she orgasmed, but she can also orgasm from me just fingering her, although when I do finger her I use 2 fingers and try to stimulate the G-spot.

Is it possible she cannot have multiples again? Could her high level of stress be an issue? If I give her a break (like a few hours or more) she can orgasm again, but I want her to feel them all in a row as described. Shes a great lady and deserves all the pleasure I can give.

Thanks for the help!

 

[MR.GGG]

I'll try and get this point by point.

""She did get very wet, but no "squirting" per se. The main thing is she was unable to cum again.""

I like to point out and have over and over again that this is technique is to assist people who have never or rarely and only by accident hit the GSpot but want to learn to give her a series of GSpot orgasms any time they want to. The squirting is something that some do sometimes but what we've come to expect from some of the porn sites is NOT something you want to happen every time you do this. GAWD what a mess!!

""When we first met I could give her multiples both from going down on her and from intercourse. Now its a rarity for her to cum twice in one session. I'd love to give her multiples again, but she gets very sensitive after her first one, making it hard for her to cum again. She says the orgasm is so intense that one is all she can muster. She is satisfied, but I want her to experience this.""

Stress, age, diet, physical and mental shape and condition ALL play a huge part in how and when a woman orgasms. It may be that she equates what's happening with her G the same as she does when her clit is bopped right after a huge orgasm. It may be that she is wired a little differently and that even repeating a G-Gasm become intense to the point of being painful. Again - EVERYBODY is different.

""I wonder if I found the right "spot"? It was just inside and up, basically right behind the clit, and there was a very small hump I could feel with my thumb. If I went higher it hurt her and would have been beyond my reach anyway. Like I said, she orgasmed, but she can also orgasm from me just fingering her, although when I do finger her I use 2 fingers and try to stimulate the G-spot.""


It sounds like you were in the correct location. The ASpot is on the opposite wall and much deeper into the vagina so unless you can pick up TWO basketballs in one hand chances are most people will never hit that spot with a finger.

If it hurt then you were either off the Gspot or it hadn't really vas-o-congested yet. As the tissue gets engorged with blood and then becomes hyper sensitive you can feel a definite ridge, bump, spot or
swelling. If you don't feel that she needs more foreplay. Return to it periodically and you'll know it when you feel it and so will she. Did she have the "gotta go pee" feeling?


""Is it possible she cannot have multiples again? Could her high level of stress be an issue? If I give her a break (like a few hours or more) she can orgasm again, but I want her to feel them all in a row as described. She's a great lady and deserves all the pleasure I can give.""

It is possible but unlikely that at one time she could have multiples and now she can't. Of course the multiples from before were clitoral based, correct? The GSpot is different because its sensitivity (usually) is based on a different set of nerves built for a different purpose. That is why repetitive G's are possible even when the clit becomes too sensitive to even look at sometimes right after she's cum.

There are all kinds of factors which will inhibit orgasm in women but with the right circumstances it shouldn't be hard to do it again. I would keep trying the Technique and see if she begins to feel differently. DON'T PUSH it tho. Let her feelings guide what you're doing, how hard, fast deep etc etc because the last thing you want to do is make her feel like she has to perform or she's being forced to act a certain way simply because some other people do. Have you shown her this thread? It's fun to surprise a lover with a new (to her) technique but if she knows what is happening and the theory behind what you're doing she may loosen up a bit more and "let it happen" VS feeling like she should pull back because it may be too intense.

The more feedback this thread gets the more it becomes obvious that there is NO "normal" out there. This technique, I think, has managed to show many many couples how to achieve the multiple G-Gasms that I find such a turn on. It is frustrating to know that many women do react very differently to this. Hopefully MOST can achieve the repetitive G-Gasms as described but the ones who don't illustrate how different we all are. Hyper sensitivity seems as inhibiting as no sensitivity. The solution? Keep trying but take it slow. COMMUNICATE lots and hopefully you'll achieve that **EUREKA!!** moment.

Good luck to you both.

 

[brandis_man]

Thanks for the reply!


Yes, she did have the "gotta pee" feeling, and she said she did let it go, so maybe she just doesn't have the volume some women do. I haven't been with a huge number of women and the few I have sexual experience with were very closed minded to things of the sexual nature. She does get very wet though, enough to make a mess, so maybe thats just how she is.

I explained the "technique" to her before doing it and she may have read this too. She understands what the goal is here I guess. As long as she is satisfied I am happy, I would just like to make her have a "wow" moment like she used to have. Its not that I don't satisfy her as much as I used to, I think she has just changed over the years. Or maybe the mulitples she had before were partially mental, because we had just gotten together and were more comfortable with each other than either of us had been before with other partners. I don't think she enjoyed sex as much before me, guys didn't treat her right. So maybe her being able to actually enjoy and experience sex like that made her orgasm differently.

She is also very tired most of the time right now, and stressed out. Too much work, not enough sleep.

 

[Mr.G]

Oh DUDE

""maybe the mulitples she had before were partially mental..."

They're ALL mental.

 

[Gil_T2]

is it just me or are many females unable to enjoy G spotting because they haven't taken the time to explore their own bodies?
Yes i know that there are medical, mental etc but from my experience the ladies who haven't explored their own bodies to find what works for them & some who know but don't say " Oh yes that's nice there, just a bit firmer/softer etc" or "up a bit Oh yes that's it"
I have truely taken great joy in showing several ladies that they do have a G spot & they can have multi Os.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I don't like 'directing' my partner during sex, its awkward, even though i know full well what i like and whats nice.

 

[Mr.G]

How's he gonna find out what you REALLY like?

""I don't like 'directing' my partner during sex...""

I don't think you have to "direct" in a nasty way. "FAAWK what are you DOING? Not there!!! HERE!!!" Would be taken badly by most guys even if they deserve it.

You CAN communicate what is good and not so good by either saying what is good and what is better or making appropriate sounds and movements. If he's paying attention he'll pick up on it. If he's not then you have to be a little more explicit.

The problem is that neither men or women KNOW what the other likes. We have an idea but seeing as every person IS different what we find works for one may be boring / too intense / too kinky for the next SO you're with.

The other thing is when you're with someone new it does take awhile to clue in on their feedback even when they think they're being obvious. All you want to do is make them feel good based on what you know your last SO said felt good. That is usually so different for a new lover that we really have to pay attention ... not the easiest thing to do if you're busy doing something you hope is going to drive him / her out of their gourds.

An attentive lover will ask, "How do you want to cum?" if there are many options based on a long time together. Depending on your mood and state of exhaustion (seems to be endemic these days) making her cum one way may be her biggest turn-on one night and feel boring, long or messy the next. We NEED the feed-back. Our brains are changing all the time so being silent can cause resentment too. Women have this DEFECT where they imagine their lovers KNOW precisely what they want and when. When he does something else it reflects, in her mind on his commitment and love - not on her inability to simply say something as clearly as, "I need to feel your tongue tonight."

As it pertains to the GSPot - as I've mentioned in here - it is FUN to surprise a lover who has never experienced that level of intensity or that particular technique. If it works the results can be spectacular. If it doesn't work you may be left trying to explain to her what you were doing when to her it just felt like you were trying to poke a hole in her bladder. Further attempts NEED that communication. Further attempts NEED feedback too so you BOTH work towards the goal and it isn't a hide and seek kind of lame attempt to follow some directions off a weird web site where some dude has described driving women mad with and just with his thumbs!

The communication between lovers can be direct, precise even detailed and if it's done right can be a turn-on not a put-down. If you are human and things aren't going EXACTLY as planned (welcum to the human condition) then the way to get her cranked the way she needs to be or he needs to be is done through communication. MAKE it a turn on and the best way to do that is use your imagination. Make the words or sounds obvious to your partner but remember she may NEED something entirely different 8 hours from now when she wakes up and you wanna go at it again. The only way to zero in on where your lover needs to be is time, experience and a desire / willingness to share ideas, wants & desires.

Which is pretty much why I started this thread in the first place.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

my partners tend to be female btw, and yeh i guess, though i made all the right sounds, my ex was so thick sometimes and just continued doing something that meant i would fall asleep- not be aroused.

i dont remember ever having an orgasm.

She on the other hand, was really bloody silent- as though she were in a library not naked in bed with her gf...so that didnt help when i wasnt sure what she wanted or liked.

 

[Mr.G]

""""...my partners tend to be female btw...""""

Whatever. I speak from the perspective of a hetero but obviously everything I say pertains to how one acts / interacts with their partner / lover - whatever combo that happens to be. As loong as ONE of them has a GSpot, I'm talkin to you.

One long time lover would go completely silent right before she came. It was spooky sometimes. I wondered for years if I was doing something wrong because she simply didn't ACT like a woman about to cum or at least my idea of what that should look, sound and act like. When our communication improved she told me that for a minute or so before she came it was like she was paralyzed. Nothing moved - just her tummy started to tense which is what I used to pick up on anyway.

I've had lovers who thrashed and screamed (probably fake) and ones who made whimpering sounds - kinda sexy - especially if you're doing something a "bit" kinky and they are reacting to something new. As long as you know they ARE cuming anything is cool. Even silence if you know that is how she gets off. BTW I think a LOT of women go silent because when they masturbate at home when they are young they HAVE to be silent or everybody in their family would know. For half the women on this planet that could mean a death sentence! For the rest it would just be embarrassing as hell.

The thing I love about the GSpot Technique is that it seems to be impossible NOT to go more or less BERZERK when she cums that way. The intensity is such that she thrashes like crazy, her legs, tummy, back all spasm and her breathing goes ragged. You can slow down and stop your thrusts and hear her gasping for breath and then when you start again she will almost have a convulsion it can be so intense for her. On top of that there is the delightful feeling on your thumb (my way but any digit(s) that you're using you can feel the same) of her vaginal walls pulsing and throbbing. A woman can fake a lot of the vocals and physical thrashing but she can't make her vaginal muscles clench like an electric ram air pump going off. Only one thing that will do that and that's a real live orgasm or a bunch of them. The feedback one gets from a thumb or forefinger when GSpotting your lover is how you can time the thrusts, vary the intensity and KNOW exactly what it is doing to her. Her vaginal muscles do not lie and it is such a turn-on to feel those walls clench and pulse as you work your magic on that G-thang.