Up Your Vocabulary with MG - A Daily Contribution

[MathGirl]

Peeeeeeedroooooo!!!!

I'll take the RSox tomorrow with PMartinez pitching.

hissing Sid n. The name of the one eyed trouser snake (qv).

hitch-hiking under the big top v. Of wanking chariots (qv) and their owners, to shift into sixth gear; polish the tent pole.

hoeing the HP v. Uphill gardening (qv) on the brown sauce allotment.

hockmagandy n. The one day of the year when Scotsmen shag their wives.

homosexual n. A man or woman sexually attracted to members of his or her own sex. Often at bus stops. A man who glides whilst walking (light in the loafers). From the Greek homos ecsuralos meaning ‘lifter of shirts’.

hop n. acronym Hang Over Poop. Giant, exceedingly loose stool, the noisy passing of which is a significant milestone in the recovery from a hang over. As in “Ahh! I feel much better after that hop. Anyone fancy a pint?”

horatio n. Posh Latin term used by doctors for oral sex on a man.
MG

 

[A7inchPhildo]

hockmagandy n. The one day of the year when Scotsmen shag their wives.

Wow I am glad I am not scotish. Of course I never realy paid attention to Scottish females. You know with the whole Kilt bag pipe thing going on that might have something to do with it and yup looky here homosexual is right next door following the scotsman.

 

[MathGirl]

Monday AM elucidation

horizontal horticulture n. Opposite of uphill gardening.

horse’s doofers n. 1. superlative Mutt’s nuts; dog’s bollocks; bees knees; donkey’s knob. 2. Snacks served at posh cocktail parties (see Hoover Doovers, Horse Ovaries).

hot adj. Condition which, in conjunction with horny (qv), is often used to describe non-existent women waiting on the end of expensive telephone sex lines, e.g. “Hot and horny bitches thirsty for your love seed”.

hot lunch n. See Cleveland steamer. Or better still, don’t.

hum 1. v. To ming; stink. 2. v. To sing with the lips closed, or as near to closed as possible during a hum job (qv).

humdinger n. 1. A fart which makes the wallpaper peel. 2. A bee who rings the doorbell.

hum job n. Vegetarian oral sex involving no meat, just two veg., accompanied by simultaneous humming of the musical variety. "God Save the Queen" is usually appropriate. The French usually hum their anthem, "The Mayonnaise"
MG

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Math Girl you have a good idea here I hope you continue when you reach the end. Sad to report I actually have heard and know many of these words. "I am sick, worse than I thought." I must admit I have seen a couple terms I use out of context. Thanks I think, for keeping my sick mind educated and working properly.
Phildo

 

[MathGirl]

Live and learn

Originally posted by A7inchPhildo Math Girl you have a good idea here I hope you continue when you reach the end. Sad to report I actually have heard and know many of these words. "I am sick, worse than I thought." I must admit I have seen a couple terms I use out of context. Thanks I think, for keeping my sick mind educated and working properly.
Phildo

Dear Ph,
I do my best. It's never too late to learn new words and the proper use of old favorites.
Pedantically,
MG

 

[MathGirl]

Peeeeedrooooooo

hung like an Arab stallion adj. Donkey rigged; well endowed.

hung like a Chinese mouse adj. Opposite of hung like an Arab stallion (qv).

hungry arse n. Condition afflicting women in tight jeans whereby a crease in their pants appears to disappear up the crack of their arse. Compare camel’s foot.

hurl v. To hoy (up); call Huey.

I can’t believe it’s not batter Possible advertising slogan for KY Jelly. See fanny batter.

ICBM acronym Of modern day state of the art trouser weaponry, Inter Cuntinental Ballistic Missile. See also meat seeking pissile, guided muscle.

iced fingers n. Bakers confectionery-speak for the results of glazing the knuckle (qv) or bashing the bishop (qv).

I.B.M. . Inches Below Muff. The units in which a skirt is measured.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

Tuesday AM lesson

Irish . n. Heterosexual anal sex, supposedly as a means of contraception. Compare Vatican roulette.

Irish shave n. A bee emm.

Irish toothache n. Erection; bone. As in “Is that a gun in your pocket, or have you just got Irish toothache?”

I.R.S. Itchy Ring Syndrome. Irritating anal affliction caused by insufficient wiping of the chocolate starfish (qv), or by inflammation of the farmers (qv).

itch n. The feeling of sexual attraction towards his wife which a married man gets on average once every 7 years.

Itchypoo Park n. The area around the chocolate starfish (qv) during a bout of I.R.S. (qv)

Attention Class: Todays homework assignment: Ask your boss for a raise . During the conversation, use the terms "Itchy Ring Syndrome" and "chocolate starfish" in consecutive sentences. Please inform the class as to the outcome of the conversation.
Miss Girl, Teacher

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Attention Class: Todays homework assignment: Ask your boss for a raise . During the conversation, use the terms "Itchy Ring Syndrome" and "chocolate starfish" in consecutive sentences. Please inform the class as to the outcome of the conversation.

Teacher, Miss Math
I wanted to say how pretty you look today. The inflamation of your ass seems to be doing quite well.
The Problem is I do not have a boss teach. That would be me! It is not like the kitty cat ate my homework? [Not that she could stomach eating this assignment.] Can I please be excused from this assighnment Ma'am? I'll wash your eraser like nipples for you?

 

[MathGirl]

Tuesday pee emm

jack off v. Whack off; choke the chicken; jerk the gherk-in. Compare jill off.

jacked up adj. To be celibate whilst suffering from a venereal disease.

jack shit n. Bugger all; sweet FA; zero; zilch.

jacksie n. Polite word for arse, especially in the recep recepticular context. e.g. “You can stick your fucking parking ticket up your jacksie, mate. I’m not paying”.

jacksie rabbit n. Muddy funster; Hershey highwayman.

jack the beanstalk See jiggle the jewellery.

jail bait n. Worms dug up by tunnelling prisoners and later, after their escape, used for fishing.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

More! More! More!

jam raid n. Crimson tidal movement which leaves tuna town (qv) inaccessible by skin boat (qv) at certain times of the month.

Jane n. Primarily a ladies lavatory, but being the opposite of John (qv) in all senses.

Japanese flag n. Appearance of the arsehole when blighted by ring sting (qv). As in: “Aaagh! Ooyah! I’m sitting on a Japanese flag”.

Jap’s eye n. Male urethral opening; hog’s eye.

jarred adj. Pissed; sloshed; wankered.

jelly hammock See drip tray.

jelly roll n. US 1. Fanny; muff; totty. 2. Sex; roll in the hay.
jerkin’ the gherkin v. Masturbatory variation on the rhyme plus cucumber/cock similarity theme.

jerkwad n. US Tosser; fuckwit; wankipants. Adaptable insult, literally a ‘masturbation bundle’.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I look forward to the Swe- part of this dictionary... I look forward to it with fear...

 

[MathGirl]

I look forward to the Swe- part of this dictionary... I look forward to it with fear...

Dear Svenska,
If you have any special Swe... words you would like to have included, just PM them to me and I'll add them to the lexicon. I already have:
Swedish flopper
Swedish steamer
Swedish meatball sandwich
Swede in the blanket,
so you needn't duplicate these. I'm sure you already know what they mean. Probably been there, done that, invented the term.
Kissy-Huggy,
MG

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Giong to raise my hand to ask a question. I think why she never calls on me.
Phildo, Quietly slithers out the door to skip class with the others.

 

[MathGirl]

Assignment

jiggle the jewellery v. See jerkin the gherkin.

Jill off v. Female equivalent of Jack off (qv); paddle the pink canoe. Until it leaks.

jit gel n. US The contents of a used condom once it has floated across the Atlantic.

jit gel rag n. US Any available object on which you wipe your cock after sex, e.g. tissues, curtains.

jittler n. Helmet cheese. Helmetdale. Smegma.

jobby jouster n. A lunchbox lancer who jousts with another man’s jobs (qv).

Johnny See rubber Johnny.

josser n. 19thC Fuckwit or parasite. The ideal name for someone who is both.

jubnuts n. Bead curtains; dangleberries; dags.

Julf acronym Jumped up little fucker; pushy twat.
MG
Assignment for students: Write a short letter to your Grandma using the following terms: Cleveland steamer; jobby jouster; hissing Sid; I.R.S.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=139439

 

[Seattle Zack]

Fromunda cheese: Usually found after extended physical activity; that delightful crumbly residue that comes "fromunda" a man's balls.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Dear Grandma,
I know Gandpa would have wanted me to share these things with you. The boys at the new job site were laughing and calling out your name as they role played a fond memory. One of them was portraying a jobby jouster, not as I remebered it. The others encouraged Mike to act out the moment. Mike grabbed hissing Sid and proceeded to the nearest saw horse. I think he may have over acted when he pretended to grab your back hair.
I have an opiontment later today it is that I.R.S. thing I hope my finances can cover the ordeal. You know you cheat once and BAM the I.R.S. is all over your ass never letting you forget to wipe your tracks better next time. The dr. will know what to do.
I need to go now, I placed some new flowers at your stone I do hope you like them. If you promise to keep it a secret next time I write I will tell you all about the Cleaveland steamer. Good luck down there be with you soon.

Love, Phildo



WTF is Cleaveland Steamer? That was not in the text Miss math.
Phildo thinks it might have been said oraly while he skipped class today?

 

[MathGirl]

kahoonas (ka-hooo-naaaz) n. Large wobbly breasts; golden bodangers; kermungers; Gert Stonkers.


kak . ka ka See cack.

kak klaxon n. Rectal hooter from which loud anal honks are emitted, together with the occasional follow through (qv).

kakpipe cosmonaut n. He who prefers to dock in the rear unloading bay.

kangaroo shagging a spacehopper sim. Energetic sex or a promiscuous woman. As in “Bloody hell! I bet she goes like a kangaroo shagging a space hopper”. Also shithouse door in the wind.

kecks . kegs n. Shreddies; trollies; underpants.

keck cackler n. He who cackles in his kecks. See keck cougher.

keck cougher n. He who burps backwards; emits under thunder (qv).

khaki buttonhole See chocolate starfish.
MG
Ps. Phildo: Terms like "Cleveland steamer" are such a part of the universal language that they are not formally defined. It is assumed that everyone knows the meaning thereof. If further information is required, please ask Perdita. She will, of course, deny every reading this thread and plead ignorance.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

MG
Ps. Phildo: Terms like "Cleveland steamer" are such a part of the universal language that they are not formally defined. It is assumed that everyone knows the meaning thereof. If further information is required, please ask Perdita. She will, of course, deny every reading this thread and plead ignorance. [/B]

~Ha, haha, hahe, Ah, Ha, ha! That was so funny I forgot to laugh.~

 

[A7inchPhildo]

What! No words tonight? Someone is slacking and it aint me.

Come on MG the only thread I will post on in the AH and you left me like a jelly hammock. Check back later.

 

[MathGirl]

Sorry, sorrieeeeeee

What! No words tonight? Someone is slacking and it aint me.
Come on MG the only thread I will post on in the AH and you left me like a jelly hammock. Check back later.

Dear Phild,
I'm terribly sorry. I went to bed with a feeling I'd forgotten something. I feel very bad about letting down the only person who admits to reading my daily offering. Won't happen again. Go out for a Cleveland steamer. You'll feel better.

kick with the left foot v. What players who arrive on the other bus (qv) tend to do; football equivalent of bowling from the Pavilion end (qv).

kipper n. Billingsgate box; minge; captain’s pie.

kipper for breakfast n. To rise early and go for a horizontal jog (qv); ideal cure for dawn horn (qv).

Kit-Kat shuffler n. Masturbatoress; weasel buffer; gusset typist.

kling-ons n. 1. Winnets; dangleberries; anal hangers-on. 2. One of numerous races of Star Trek alien with bumpy foreheads.

klutz n. Thickhead. orig. German meaning ‘block of wood’.

knackers (na-kaz) n. Balls; nuts; testicles. As in: “Ooyaah! I’ve knacked me knackers!”

knee trembler n. Intercourse while both parties are standing up. Often in a shop doorway.

knicker bandit n. Raider of washing lines
MG

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Go out for a Cleveland steamer? Yeah, I am still working on that one.
I know someone is looking at the post other than me unless you view it 75 times before each post. 896 views is that all you do each day. lol

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by A7inchPhildo I know someone is looking at the post other than me

Dear Phi,
Oh, yes. There is something of a following out there. It's just that nobody will admit it. Can't say I blame them.
MG

 

[OldnotDead]

Dear Phi,
Oh, yes. There is something of a following out there. It's just that nobody will admit it. Can't say I blame them.
MG

Dear MG,

I feel a note of sympathy for someone whose team is not playing as mine so rarely is. Therefore I will kneel and say 'I confess' that I have subscribed and follow your posts, even if I do not memorize them all.

2 1/2 hours to first pitch . . . Think I'll use the time here and then maybe even edit a story to see if it is need of some of your vocabulary.

 

[MathGirl]

In honor of the Cubbies.........

Chicago whim job n. A contortionist method of voiding a mud shark (qv). Best not tried at home.
MG
Ps. OnD, I'm right with you through this series.

 

[OldnotDead]

Re: In honor of the Cubbies.........

Ps. OnD, I'm right with you through this series.

Mmmm, like the thought of being with MG.

Thinking I better not tell her I'm rooting for Yankees-Cubs to be the next one.