Using D/s to overcome addiction

[amy34]

Update:

It was 3 years ago that I put the now erased post on Lit. I haven't been on Lit for a LONG time. I feel a bit foolish for exposing myself like that. I can hear my desperation. Even though no one is here I feel my face burning red hot with embarrassment. I found my way to recovery simply by showing up and doing the work. Didn't cost me a dime! Oh, I struggle and that's life. Everyone has struggles. At this point I'm not sure if I'm even ready for a D/s relationship. I don't know how to go about finding one. It's not like you can bring it up when you first meet someone let alone someone you currently date. My experience has been I tell him and then he makes a minor attempt which just makes me feel stupid and that's it. Now that I am present inside myself I feel very shy which is the complete opposite of how I was which was very outgoing confident friendly. Anyway I wanted to erase this post. If anyone knows how to stop a thread please let me know.

Thanks
Amy

PS - I read the replies and was very moved the time each person took to reply. All comments were very much appreciated. Thank you.

 

[roscho]

Support systems are tantamount to success.

It sounds like your support systems may have been negative, so your results end up negative.

Its like the old Eddie Murphy movie "Trading Places". Virtually anybody can be wildly successful or a miserable failure, depending on the support that they receive.

Your desire to walk away from life as you know it is common, but will likely result in returning exactly where you are today unless your support system is properly focused on putting you in that greatest place, whatever that may be.

And then there is sabotage. Often people get chances to get to a better place but sabotage themselves. You have to want it bad enough to not self-sabotage.

Good luck in your journey.

 

[Fidelisani]

It sounds like you are very committed to overcoming your addiction, and that's the first step.

I have helped someone in the past, but considering my RL circumstances I doubt I have the time that you require. That and I'm a female Domme, which may not be what you are looking for.

Wishing you luck in your search.

 

[niv78]

I believe D/s can be used to break addiction as long as the Dom/me knows what they are doing. With any D/s relationship, there needs to be 100% commitment on both sides. With that said, if you get involved with a Dom/me that is ignorant or is bad etc, then it could have very bad consequences. So while I think it can help and work, it's something you have to be very careful about.

 

[sardoniclaugh]

Think of it as a kink that is both demanding and dangerous. It is a huge commitment of time and energy from a Dom, it has the potential to be very destructive psychologically if it's done wrong, and it may not be successful. You should be very careful who you ask to do something like this. Whoever attempts it will have their reasons, and you'll want to be able to trust them to take care of and reprogram you.
All of that said, when do we start?

 

[Primalex]

I'm interested in hearing any thoughts or ideas or comments or experience on using D/s as a tool to overcome one's addiction.

I don't believe that Doms have an innate ability to cure addictions.

This doesn't mean it's not possible; just the methods would be the same whether it's a D/s or non-D/s relationship.

 

[Wyldfire]

This is an almost laughable concept. Aren't there addictions to sex and the lifestyle? Isn't using D/S simply trading one addiction for another?

I don't know about anyone else here but I would never trust anyone who is not a licensed and trained professional do anything in this regard. Period. Even then I don't think I'd try it, as I enjoy D/S recreationally. Yes I use it in the same regard as I say I drink recreationally. To me there's no difference. Alcohol gives me an externally based chemical high where D/S gives me a natural but still a chemical high none the less.

 

[fulvius]

I honestly don't think that licensed and trained professionals are that much more reliable to help than someone you can be intimate with. I don't know that a relationship has to be of a d/s quality to help with conquering an addiction... but I do think that an intimate relationship can help a lot. But your partner has to truly be committed to helping you overcome whatever addiction it is that you may have, and the relationship has to be healthy... so finding someone you really click with who will help you overcome your addiction(s) might be difficult. In such a situation though, d/s might help even a little extra on top of just romance because there is such a wonderful spice to being submissive to the right person... you feel like you can give yourself up for them, like they fill you in the best way.

It's true that you might be filling the void your addiction used to fill with the new relationship. But there's nothing wrong with that. If you find the right person, and put forth the effort to make a relationship work, then it's a much healthier food for the hunger inside than what you would call an addiction. I personally wouldn't analyze it too much or insist that you have to give up all the need you feel inside. Letting go of some of it might be good and feeding the rest with sex and love is healthy. Just my two cents

Kevin