Using given names of friends and relatives

[GemmaGemmaGemma]

Not any of my closest family. Friends I would probably use their name, pretty sure I have done that a few times. Don't think I've used my partner's name yet but I might do that soon to freak him out

 

[iwatchus]

So if no-one will use their own name (or maybe their partner's name either), do you eventually out yourself if you write enough because of the missing name? Kind of like one of the flaws in the Enigma code the Brits were able to exploit.

 

[Writer61]

So if no-one will use their own name (or maybe their partner's name either), do you eventually out yourself if you write enough because of the missing name? Kind of like one of the flaws in the Enigma code the Brits were able to exploit.

I have used my own name for a character, so I think I'm safe.

 

[Britva415]

I avoid it.

The people in my stories, including the MMC's, aren't supposed to represent myself or the people who might have been there in real life, anyway. They're supposed to be fictional characters. Though, a couple of the scenarios in my stories are VERY recognizable as real-life occasions which would tickle the Spider Sense of anyone who was there.

I have one story which is autobiographical enough that the MC is pretty much me, but none of the other characters are intended to "be" anyone in real life. Though, two of them are basically fictionalized versions of two real people.

I have absolutely no moral or social conflict, nor any emotional inhibition, about anyone who knows me reading that story and matching it to me, or to theirselves, personally. They are not sex characters, in the story.

Names were changed, of course, but if either one of those people were to read the story, they would probably know the exact occasion described and who the MMC is - and wonder whether the sex really happened and who the FMC was. She's imaginary, but

 

[StillStunned]

So if no-one will use their own name (or maybe their partner's name either), do you eventually out yourself if you write enough because of the missing name? Kind of like one of the flaws in the Enigma code the Brits were able to exploit.

I've used my name in a story.

No, not "God". That's just a nickname.

 

[Britva415]

So if no-one will use their own name (or maybe their partner's name either), do you eventually out yourself if you write enough because of the missing name? Kind of like one of the flaws in the Enigma code the Brits were able to exploit.

People are more likely to identify me based on stuff I've written in the Forum than in my stories.

I mean, it would have to be someone who knows me pretty well IRL AND reads enough of my posts to connect quite a few different dots, but it's probably do-able by a small handful of people.

I think it's extremely unlikely that it would happen, but even if it did, it's no big deal.

Nevertheless, I have one or two stories where the right reader could crack the Enigma. But since they weren't the sex-partner in the story, but more of a chaste side character, it would most likely just lead them to wonder whether the story and my part in it were true.

 

[designatedvictim]

For given names? Yes, sometimes I'll randomly pick names from people I've known, but not family names -where used at all. They get changed to 'protect the innocent.'

 

[ElectricBlue]

My current WIP includes two characters who share their given names with members of my family (both long dead). They are perfect for the story's era, but I am finding it a bit weird.

Do you use names of people you know?

Fairly often, but then, I've been around a while.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I think it's extremely unlikely that it would happen, but even if it did, it's no big deal.

And to do so, they'd need to be a Lit regular, so there's that. It's a bit like hiding in plain sight.

 

[Erozetta]

I know like:
Mike: 7
James: 4
Mark: 5
David: 7
Richard: 5
Jeff/Geoff: 5


Donna: 8
Emily: 10
Rachel: 4
Kate/Katie/Katherine/Kathy: 11
Crystal: 5


I would have a real problem if those names were off limits in writing, but also, I don't use them unless the name fits the character and then I'm deeply uncomfortable about it.

 

[IWroteThis]

I had to pull up my name spreadsheet to verify, but I have not used the given names of my parents, siblings, or children. However, I have used my own name and my spouse's name. I've also used the names of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and in-laws.

I try to give the characters whatever names feel right while I'm writing, but I had to create my spreadsheet because my high school crushes were getting used too many times. My actual girlfriend from high school, not so much, and only as the bitch in Loving Wives…

 

[KittyOfSteele]

I know like:
Mike: 7

 

[designatedvictim]

- NaNoWriMo 2K25: 45183/50000 words

Spotted that in your signature... I forgot all about it.

Never actually considered doing NaNoWriMo, I'm no writer.

But if I add the 7800 words of my totally sidetracked ex-WIP to the 22K words of my new,-exciting-WIP, I still couldn't make 50K happen, even at the pace my new one is expanding.

You have 5K left... go get'em!

 

[MillieDynamite]

I've used friends' first names many, many times.

 

[Erozetta]

One's a pro wrestler.

 

[UnexpectedLuggage]

A few people on my stories share the first name of who they are based on (or a name vaguely adjacent to it)

That's how I do it. I usually try and use a name that starts with the same letter as their actual name, or a name that sounds similar but won't get someone doxxed or whatever.

 

[EmilyMiller]

That's how I do it. I usually try and use a name that starts with the same letter as their actual name, or a name that sounds similar but won't get someone doxxed or whatever.

Yeah - with some exceptions, mostly from when I was even more naive than now

 

[Katie_Mae]

David: 7

I would have a real problem if those names were off limits in writing, but also, I don't use them unless the name fits the character and then I'm deeply uncomfortable about it.

I have a major character called David, and it's only just occurred to me how many "Davids" I know IRL. I have this one group of friends that has 5 men named "David."

But, I've never made the connection between my character David and any of these IRL men (until now... )

-----

I don't typically name characters after people I know. However, I do choose names based on setting and what the parents would have chosen and so forth, and sometimes there's a cross-over.

Eg, it would be hard to have a story set at a school in England in the 1950s without a single "Mary." (And, this wasn't asked about, but same goes for family names. Depending on the setting, it can be very hard to avoid a family name of someone you know.)

I have a story set partially during basic military training. Also, it's set during the time I'd have been in my late teens/early 20s. Meaning, I have a whole big group of young men to name, who are of the same age as me. Given the setting, this includes giving them family names. It's very hard to avoid cross-over there! But, none of them are actually named after people I know.

I haven't named a major character who has sex-scenes with the same name as immediate family.

 

[NuclearFairy]

I'm a bit name blind. It's not as bad when I name the child/animal/character, but I do forget names easily. Which led to me giving one of my characters the same name as my SO's sister. XD I realized halfway through the story before even asking him to edit, so I went back and changed it. But still that could've been awkward.

 

[iwatchus]

Does she read your stories? Does she have an unusual name? (Not asking for the name, btw.)

My mother has a truly unique name; my grandfather made it up. It turns out it is a word in a minor language still spoken, so maybe someone else has been named that. I do know of one thing that has her name. It kind of freaked her out when she discovered it.

Of course, I am not going to name any character in any erotic story after my mother. Just in case anyone got any ideas after my slip of writing a mommy sat in my lap story.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I did one where I used pretty much every family name I remembered including cousins and their spouses. Almost all have been dead for at least 10 years, some a bit over 30 years. I think only two or three remain and they are in their 70s or more.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Does she read your stories? Does she have an unusual name? (Not asking for the name, btw.)

No, I just thought it'd be awkward for my SO.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

Spotted that in your signature... I forgot all about it.

Never actually considered doing NaNoWriMo, I'm no writer.

But if I add the 7800 words of my totally sidetracked ex-WIP to the 22K words of my new,-exciting-WIP, I still couldn't make 50K happen, even at the pace my new one is expanding.

You have 5K left... go get'em!

Thanks! I've been doing NaNo since 2017, though I skipped a few years because life got in the way. Nevertheless, I haven't stopped since 2020, though I had to skip 2022 because I wasn't able to make it, and the one I did for 2021, which was a sequel of 2020's, got destroyed due to a faulty hard drive the moment I was going to back it up.

Since 2023, I've been reaching the 50K goal on Day 25, according to my spreadsheets. This year might look the same, or it might be earlier. Who knows?

I won't be posting this one here though since I believe it breaks Lit's guidelines. Maybe it doesn't, but if I have doubts, I rather consider that maybe as a yes instead of asking questions. I never published a NaNo before, but I do want to publish this one.

If you want to go for 50K, you can build yourself up to it by lowering the bar and reducing the target number to something more achievable. Writing is like weightlifting or running; you just don't go and start lifting the heaviest weights or running a double marathon from zero. You build yourself up to it first.

Anyway, not the thread to speak about this.

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

Of late, I've mostly been using lists of baby popular names around the character's birth year. Never from very high on the list, but say#6-#15. Exceptions are made when unusual or extremely common names are needed for the character conception of the story. The only names I won't use are my own, my ex-wife's, or my current love's. For the last two, I will not tell stories inspired by them.

 

[MrPixel]

The only names I won't use are my own, my ex-wife's, or my current love's.

I had to laugh at this. I use my ex's slightly uncommon given name as the MMC's ex in one multi-part story where there is cause to discuss the emotional damage she inflicted on him (me). She has lived on the other side of the Atlantic for forty-five years, and I'm completely certain she's not going to stumble into LitE, much less stumble across the two episodes where she's mentioned. In the one-in-a-trillion chance she does, she'll get the message.