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Fred - I have admired your work.
You have healed me of many ills - the two-punch combo of sex and silliness cures my blues time and time again.
Vacuum cleaner sex story please! :)
- Thread starter vacuumfucker
- Start date
Fred - I have admired your work.
You have healed me of many ills - the two-punch combo of sex and silliness cures my blues time and time again.
GratefulFred
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2004
- Posts
- 2,038
Fred - I have admired your work.
You have healed me of many ills - the two-punch combo of sex and silliness cures my blues time and time again.
A song for babygrrl...
A catagory 5 could be coming my way...
A 10 ton meteor could drop by earth to play...
1000 nuclear bombs could be exploding right now...
But none of that could slow me down...my baby grrl's in town...
I could take on a thousand worthless trolls...
Battle the grammar fools, heads will start to roll...
My brain won't stop creating silly erotic tales
Just hanging with my babygrrl, my Fender starts to wail...
(insert heavy distortion jam here for the next few hours)
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GratefulFred
Literotica Guru
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Play this song with a Dm on the 5th bar chord dropping down to a Bbm on the first. Do so 4 times than switch to Am and back...Sonds great with a siren.
Part of my song "Real World Blues"
(Dm) Met her in France I want to (Bbm) know her better...
(Dm) I drive like a maniac in this (Bbm) crazy French weather...
(Dm) Arrive at her tits as I (Bbm) pull down her pants...
(Dm) Staring at one bigger than mine (Bbm) is that how girls are like....(Am) in France....
(Dm) Caught in Real World Blues (Bbm)
(Dm) Real World Blues (Bbm)
Part of my song "Real World Blues"
(Dm) Met her in France I want to (Bbm) know her better...
(Dm) I drive like a maniac in this (Bbm) crazy French weather...
(Dm) Arrive at her tits as I (Bbm) pull down her pants...
(Dm) Staring at one bigger than mine (Bbm) is that how girls are like....(Am) in France....
(Dm) Caught in Real World Blues (Bbm)
(Dm) Real World Blues (Bbm)
I thought I wass a rare breed in using a vaccuum for jerking off.
Have done it for years. I find the acutal cleaner hole the wrong size so I get a paint roller and attach it to he cleaner hose with duct tape,
it works for me, have tried to think of some way of having the thing go in and out but not thought of anything yet.
Like to hear from others on this.
Have done it for years. I find the acutal cleaner hole the wrong size so I get a paint roller and attach it to he cleaner hose with duct tape,
it works for me, have tried to think of some way of having the thing go in and out but not thought of anything yet.
Like to hear from others on this.
The Magic Sucking Maid
“Charlie, I’m sorry to tell you that your vacuum cleaner is broken. I think you’ll need a new one,” my maid’s note said. Annie had been a wonderful weekly maid for me for about 15 years, so I had no doubt that she was telling me the truth. In fact, the only frustration I ever had with her is that she -- as blonde, busty, curvy and gorgeous as she is -- wouldn’t wear a frilly little French maid’s outfit while she was working. She said it made her too self-conscious. Still, even that was no big deal.
“If I were you, I’d call that Sucking Maid company for an in-home vacuum demonstration,” her note continued. “Their vacuums are expensive, but they’re worth it, and I’d sure appreciate having a nicer machine to use around here. I hear their demonstrators are sexy ladies, too. You might actually have some fun inviting one over! JK. See you next week.”
This was proof that after 15 years, Annie knew me even better than I knew myself. I’m a single executive. Money is no big deal for me, but time is. So Annie’s suggestion made perfect sense. I could skip shopping and buy Annie the vacuum she deserved.
The in-home demonstration came that Saturday. And It was an experience I’ll never forget. The doorbell rang at my penthouse apartment. When I opened the door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. There stood Annie.
But this time, Annie wasn’t wearing her unflattering stained house maid’s rags. She wasn’t wearing her hair up in a ponytail with a do-rag over top. She wasn’t wearing worn out, dirty sneakers. Annie’s hair now was curled. She was wearing makeup. She was wearing high heels. And she was wearing a form-fitting blue dress covered by a matching coat that boasted a thick, white fox fur collar.
“Annie, you look amazing!” I said. “I wasn’t expecting you again until next week, and as luck would have it, I’m awaiting that in-home vacuum demonstration you suggested.”
“Good afternoon, sir!” Annie responded in her smooth, sexy, smoky voice. “Are you Mr. Jones? I’m here to show you how a Sucking Maid can suck your dirty troubles away!”
She winked and smiled. I was a little confused, but it was obvious that she was trying for some supplemental income with a sales job that certainly suited her expertise. I returned her smile and welcomed her in.
I admired her form from front to back as she walked through my door, trailing an impressive-looking upright vacuum with her. It looked like something a hotel maid would use. It had a metal façade and a cloth dirt bag that said “Sucking Maid Heavy Duty” on it.
Annie also had a small suitcase with her. She reached into the suitcase with a gloved hand. When she pulled out her hand, she had a fist full of down feathers, dust bunnies, potting soil and filth. I could only imagine what all was in her hand. She dropped the dusty mess on my floor.
“This mess would choke and kill a normal vacuum cleaner,” Annie said. Her smile got bigger and bigger as she dumped more and more fistfuls on my floor. It was obvious now that she was having fun messing up the penthouse she normally cleans. “But it’s no match for a Sucking Maid and its ultra-superior suction that no other vacuum can beat!”
She plugged in the Sucking Maid. I was so turned on from seeing her all dressed up that my knees were weak. She gave me a solid shove with her dusty hand and I fell into my recliner. She took off her gloves, her coat and even her dress, revealing a skimpy French maid’s outfit. It was just like the one I’d always dreamed of seeing her wear! Eat your heart out, Katie Perry! Your cleavage has nothing on Annie’s!
With the flick of her wrist, Annie turned on the vacuum. The dirt bag puffed out leaving little doubt of its incredible suction. I grew hard just looking at her. I began stroking my crotch through my pants with the collar on her fur coat. And she was right! The dirt was no match for the Sucking Maid! She vacuumed up all of it with a single pass.
But to my pleasurable surprise, her demonstration wasn’t done. She opened the suitcase to reveal even more dirt and debris. “Wait until you see how well the hose can suck!” Annie exclaimed. She dumped Cheetos, rice, popcorn kernels and grass clippings on the floor … and “accidentally” onto my pants.
“Oops! I’m so sorry, sir,” Annie said. “Don’t worry! My Sucking Maid will suck up all that dirt in no time.” She proceeded to attach the hose to the vacuum. It quickly cleaned up the mess on the floor, leaving my penis twitching with anticipation.
She tested the suction on her hand, making the cleaner whine. It nearly sucked her hand up the hose!
“Now then. Where was I?” she asked with a smile.
She stuck the hose in my lap. “SSSSSUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!” The mess quickly disappeared. I nearly came the moment the vacuum touched my pants.
The mess was cleaned up, but she still wasn’t done. “We better undo your pants to make sure none of the dirt got inside your boxer shorts,” Annie said. “And just to make sure we get all of it, I’ll switch the Sucking Maid to Super Suck! Normally, I'd reserve this setting for messes like broken glass and fireplace ash, but I think you need a good sucking!”
She pushed a button and the vacuum began to suck even harder! The vacuum instantly swallowed my hard member, causing it to gush with the strongest orgasm I’ve ever had. “SSSUUCCCCKKKKK! SSSUUCCCKKKK! SSSSSUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!” went the vacuum as it consumed every last drop of my sperm.
When I was done cumming, I struggled and struggled to pull the vacuum hose off my dick. When I finally did, Annie smiled. “Have I convinced you to be a member of the Sucking Maid family, Mr. Jones?”
Not only did she get the sale, but she got a huge raise for being such a terrific maid. And I’m now her only Sucking Maid client because I buy a vacuum from her every week. It never gets old to hear the words, “Good afternoon, sir! Are you Mr. Jones? I’m here to show you how a Sucking Maid can suck your dirty troubles away!”
Hooray for sexy maids and Sucking Maid vacuums!
“Charlie, I’m sorry to tell you that your vacuum cleaner is broken. I think you’ll need a new one,” my maid’s note said. Annie had been a wonderful weekly maid for me for about 15 years, so I had no doubt that she was telling me the truth. In fact, the only frustration I ever had with her is that she -- as blonde, busty, curvy and gorgeous as she is -- wouldn’t wear a frilly little French maid’s outfit while she was working. She said it made her too self-conscious. Still, even that was no big deal.
“If I were you, I’d call that Sucking Maid company for an in-home vacuum demonstration,” her note continued. “Their vacuums are expensive, but they’re worth it, and I’d sure appreciate having a nicer machine to use around here. I hear their demonstrators are sexy ladies, too. You might actually have some fun inviting one over! JK. See you next week.”
This was proof that after 15 years, Annie knew me even better than I knew myself. I’m a single executive. Money is no big deal for me, but time is. So Annie’s suggestion made perfect sense. I could skip shopping and buy Annie the vacuum she deserved.
The in-home demonstration came that Saturday. And It was an experience I’ll never forget. The doorbell rang at my penthouse apartment. When I opened the door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. There stood Annie.
But this time, Annie wasn’t wearing her unflattering stained house maid’s rags. She wasn’t wearing her hair up in a ponytail with a do-rag over top. She wasn’t wearing worn out, dirty sneakers. Annie’s hair now was curled. She was wearing makeup. She was wearing high heels. And she was wearing a form-fitting blue dress covered by a matching coat that boasted a thick, white fox fur collar.
“Annie, you look amazing!” I said. “I wasn’t expecting you again until next week, and as luck would have it, I’m awaiting that in-home vacuum demonstration you suggested.”
“Good afternoon, sir!” Annie responded in her smooth, sexy, smoky voice. “Are you Mr. Jones? I’m here to show you how a Sucking Maid can suck your dirty troubles away!”
She winked and smiled. I was a little confused, but it was obvious that she was trying for some supplemental income with a sales job that certainly suited her expertise. I returned her smile and welcomed her in.
I admired her form from front to back as she walked through my door, trailing an impressive-looking upright vacuum with her. It looked like something a hotel maid would use. It had a metal façade and a cloth dirt bag that said “Sucking Maid Heavy Duty” on it.
Annie also had a small suitcase with her. She reached into the suitcase with a gloved hand. When she pulled out her hand, she had a fist full of down feathers, dust bunnies, potting soil and filth. I could only imagine what all was in her hand. She dropped the dusty mess on my floor.
“This mess would choke and kill a normal vacuum cleaner,” Annie said. Her smile got bigger and bigger as she dumped more and more fistfuls on my floor. It was obvious now that she was having fun messing up the penthouse she normally cleans. “But it’s no match for a Sucking Maid and its ultra-superior suction that no other vacuum can beat!”
She plugged in the Sucking Maid. I was so turned on from seeing her all dressed up that my knees were weak. She gave me a solid shove with her dusty hand and I fell into my recliner. She took off her gloves, her coat and even her dress, revealing a skimpy French maid’s outfit. It was just like the one I’d always dreamed of seeing her wear! Eat your heart out, Katie Perry! Your cleavage has nothing on Annie’s!
With the flick of her wrist, Annie turned on the vacuum. The dirt bag puffed out leaving little doubt of its incredible suction. I grew hard just looking at her. I began stroking my crotch through my pants with the collar on her fur coat. And she was right! The dirt was no match for the Sucking Maid! She vacuumed up all of it with a single pass.
But to my pleasurable surprise, her demonstration wasn’t done. She opened the suitcase to reveal even more dirt and debris. “Wait until you see how well the hose can suck!” Annie exclaimed. She dumped Cheetos, rice, popcorn kernels and grass clippings on the floor … and “accidentally” onto my pants.
“Oops! I’m so sorry, sir,” Annie said. “Don’t worry! My Sucking Maid will suck up all that dirt in no time.” She proceeded to attach the hose to the vacuum. It quickly cleaned up the mess on the floor, leaving my penis twitching with anticipation.
She tested the suction on her hand, making the cleaner whine. It nearly sucked her hand up the hose!
“Now then. Where was I?” she asked with a smile.
She stuck the hose in my lap. “SSSSSUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!” The mess quickly disappeared. I nearly came the moment the vacuum touched my pants.
The mess was cleaned up, but she still wasn’t done. “We better undo your pants to make sure none of the dirt got inside your boxer shorts,” Annie said. “And just to make sure we get all of it, I’ll switch the Sucking Maid to Super Suck! Normally, I'd reserve this setting for messes like broken glass and fireplace ash, but I think you need a good sucking!”
She pushed a button and the vacuum began to suck even harder! The vacuum instantly swallowed my hard member, causing it to gush with the strongest orgasm I’ve ever had. “SSSUUCCCCKKKKK! SSSUUCCCKKKK! SSSSSUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!” went the vacuum as it consumed every last drop of my sperm.
When I was done cumming, I struggled and struggled to pull the vacuum hose off my dick. When I finally did, Annie smiled. “Have I convinced you to be a member of the Sucking Maid family, Mr. Jones?”
Not only did she get the sale, but she got a huge raise for being such a terrific maid. And I’m now her only Sucking Maid client because I buy a vacuum from her every week. It never gets old to hear the words, “Good afternoon, sir! Are you Mr. Jones? I’m here to show you how a Sucking Maid can suck your dirty troubles away!”
Hooray for sexy maids and Sucking Maid vacuums!
Horneyhorney68
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2023
- Posts
- 2
me too.. many many years
Horneyhorney68
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2023
- Posts
- 2
been doing it for as long as i can remember
ElliottEden
Literotica Guru
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- Dec 4, 2014
- Posts
- 5,943
Todd had the house to himself for the afternoon. The kids were at play dates and his wife Marcy had made plans to shop the hours away with her friend Tina. His plans - well - he'd told his wife he'd be puttering in his workshop. She'd rolled her eyes - "guy things" she'd muttered. Then gave him a look. "Don't go overboard with the beer hon while you're - doing whatever."
He'd given her a wink and a smirk and a quiet "Yes ma'am" and watched her lush ass sway as she walked to her mini-van. After he waved her goodbye, his heart starting to beat just a bit faster, and went to his shop. It of course was in the garage - and he went to the cabinet where he stored the various attachments for his shop vac. There was one - the special one - he'd almost had a raging hard on in the aisle of the big box store when he'd first saw it. Long, black - the circumference was ideal. Not too wide nor too narrow. It now gleamed as he removed it from it's place - the faint whiff of carnauba wax teased his senses. The overhead door closed, the room dark and cool - he removed his jeans, sat in the old beat up recliner he'd salvaged. Pushed the attachment onto the hose of the shop vac, leaned back into the chair. His semi-hard cock inserted into the attachment he turned the vacuum on and oh god bliss...
The noise of the vac covered the sound of Marcy's return. She had Tina with her - had left something she was going to return to the store behind. Todd's attention was on the porn video playing on his phone, his free hand moving the wand attachment, altering the sensations and intensity of the vibrations playing along the head of his cock. He didn't notice the door from the kitchen to the garage open - it was Marcy's choked "Oh my god TODD!!" that caused him to look up - but it was the pure delight on Tina's face. Her giggle. Then the way his wife turned to her friend - "Holy shit you see what he's doing?!?" That sent him over the edge. His orgasm was epic, mind blowing.
He sank back into the recliner, eyes closed. Drained. Embarrassed. Humiliated. The quiet in the room after the vacuum was turned off - it was strangely deafening. He cringed realizing someone was next to him - probably his wife. He shook as he felt a hand on his arm. "Hey dumbfuck" and his heart sank. The voice, it was Marcy he'd realized, continued. "Hon..." it stopped and he'd realized that Tina had giggled. He'd never live this down he realized. "Hon" his wife continued. "The good news is - Tina and I've been doing the same - well not exactly the same but - just use your imagination okay - for a couple of years now." His eyes opened and he turned to stare at his wife. "Now the - probably better news? You can join us - but first?" He nodded - confusion keeping him from comprehending what his wife had just told him. Tina tugged the hose and the wand pulled away from his soft cock. She appraised his manhood openly. Then peered into the wand, grinning as she saw the remains of his cum inside it. "But first Tina and I are getting some wine. And then you are going to tell us about what other weird kinks you have." She grinned down at her husband, enjoying his discomfort. "We want all the details - and hon? Stay just the way you are."
He'd given her a wink and a smirk and a quiet "Yes ma'am" and watched her lush ass sway as she walked to her mini-van. After he waved her goodbye, his heart starting to beat just a bit faster, and went to his shop. It of course was in the garage - and he went to the cabinet where he stored the various attachments for his shop vac. There was one - the special one - he'd almost had a raging hard on in the aisle of the big box store when he'd first saw it. Long, black - the circumference was ideal. Not too wide nor too narrow. It now gleamed as he removed it from it's place - the faint whiff of carnauba wax teased his senses. The overhead door closed, the room dark and cool - he removed his jeans, sat in the old beat up recliner he'd salvaged. Pushed the attachment onto the hose of the shop vac, leaned back into the chair. His semi-hard cock inserted into the attachment he turned the vacuum on and oh god bliss...
The noise of the vac covered the sound of Marcy's return. She had Tina with her - had left something she was going to return to the store behind. Todd's attention was on the porn video playing on his phone, his free hand moving the wand attachment, altering the sensations and intensity of the vibrations playing along the head of his cock. He didn't notice the door from the kitchen to the garage open - it was Marcy's choked "Oh my god TODD!!" that caused him to look up - but it was the pure delight on Tina's face. Her giggle. Then the way his wife turned to her friend - "Holy shit you see what he's doing?!?" That sent him over the edge. His orgasm was epic, mind blowing.
He sank back into the recliner, eyes closed. Drained. Embarrassed. Humiliated. The quiet in the room after the vacuum was turned off - it was strangely deafening. He cringed realizing someone was next to him - probably his wife. He shook as he felt a hand on his arm. "Hey dumbfuck" and his heart sank. The voice, it was Marcy he'd realized, continued. "Hon..." it stopped and he'd realized that Tina had giggled. He'd never live this down he realized. "Hon" his wife continued. "The good news is - Tina and I've been doing the same - well not exactly the same but - just use your imagination okay - for a couple of years now." His eyes opened and he turned to stare at his wife. "Now the - probably better news? You can join us - but first?" He nodded - confusion keeping him from comprehending what his wife had just told him. Tina tugged the hose and the wand pulled away from his soft cock. She appraised his manhood openly. Then peered into the wand, grinning as she saw the remains of his cum inside it. "But first Tina and I are getting some wine. And then you are going to tell us about what other weird kinks you have." She grinned down at her husband, enjoying his discomfort. "We want all the details - and hon? Stay just the way you are."
ElliottEden
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2014
- Posts
- 5,943
The meeting with the marketing team was the make or break moment for the small company. Their design had received awards - it was innovative, light, efficient - but sales were lacking. Investors were grumbling, things weren't dire - yet. But soon would be. The head of the marketing team was a prim looking middle aged woman.
The CEO sat and the presentation began. The marketing team had been in talks with his R&D people, along with sales and manufacturing. He'd been aware of course of a new feature the R&D team wanted to try out - a way to allow the vacuums to deal with liquids - essentially trap them. As the new marketing scheme unfolded he wanted to laugh and walk out, but the more the prim looking lady talked, the more he found himself getting sold to the idea.
It boiled down to small changes to the vacuum line but a new line of accessories. Clear plastics used in the body of the vacuum and hose - and a line of... his face had reddened when he'd realized they'd be specifically designed and sold as sex toys. "Now of course these - special - attachments would not be sold by your company sir. An entirely separate firm would be formed to handle that line - and here." She handed out ad copy of a campaign where his vacuum company would disclaim any ties with the sex toy side - but curiously and so craftily done one could not avoid reading that using those attachments for - well - would not void the warranty on the units. "And we've already lined up a number of well known, and shall I say attractive, porn talent who'll feature this new line in a number of videos we'll be producing as well?"
The CEO sat and the presentation began. The marketing team had been in talks with his R&D people, along with sales and manufacturing. He'd been aware of course of a new feature the R&D team wanted to try out - a way to allow the vacuums to deal with liquids - essentially trap them. As the new marketing scheme unfolded he wanted to laugh and walk out, but the more the prim looking lady talked, the more he found himself getting sold to the idea.
It boiled down to small changes to the vacuum line but a new line of accessories. Clear plastics used in the body of the vacuum and hose - and a line of... his face had reddened when he'd realized they'd be specifically designed and sold as sex toys. "Now of course these - special - attachments would not be sold by your company sir. An entirely separate firm would be formed to handle that line - and here." She handed out ad copy of a campaign where his vacuum company would disclaim any ties with the sex toy side - but curiously and so craftily done one could not avoid reading that using those attachments for - well - would not void the warranty on the units. "And we've already lined up a number of well known, and shall I say attractive, porn talent who'll feature this new line in a number of videos we'll be producing as well?"
