Vent out

[BunnyM25]

Hi everyone reading this. Hope you are doing this?

I don't the best portal to convey this. But I wanted to tell this to someone. Hope you don't judge or be rude if it's not the best thing expected here.

So here it is. I am a Man aged 25. I love exploring myself sexually. Yes I am a virgin so I didn't get luck enough to within the lovely embrace of a woman. Also I can't just go ahead with real life sex directly as my society here has a taboo over sex. But my curiosity and brain has always dwelved and explore sex. Hence I enjoy mastrubation and porn as a result. From when I can recall I have experimented with masturbation from understanding how to jerk to see nude images online and books to gradually finding porn. I have come to explore Femdom and JOI and many more kinks.

I have been caught too in home, got scolded, explained and what not. But I always find my way back to sexual exploring.

Currently I am less satisfied from porn and JOI. I want a real interaction with a lady.

That being said I want to add another aspect of my personal life. That I am currently working for 4+ years for a company. I haven't switched yet. And it's completely work from home. So only interaction I have is with my family and weekly once with few friends. I am also not so out-going in real life. I have improved on my communication skills but I still can't talk directly to a complete stranger especially girls. I also had crushes on some I couldn't confess during my schooling and college. Then last year I also tried dating, I was hiding and going out. But I got caught and honestly she wasn't liked by my family and somewhere I wasn't also that too close I guess so we broke up. It was a painful time for both of us.

I was not jerking of at that time when I was with her as well had decided that if intimacy comes it would be when we are actually well togather. Which never happened.

Before this I was frequently watching JOI. Sometimes daily, sometimes twice or thrice a week, but it continued didn't stop. Except for those 6 months. Then after breakup I again fell into that loop.

Sometimes I understand that with all that's going on the porn is a escape from that. A Quick dopamine hit. But now a days I am not getting that from JOI all the time. When I get to any other sites where we can talk to strangers. Most of the time in them either people fake themselves or are too toxic or even if you get luck to chat with someone good and you share some interest or start to have fun it's not reliably connected and the connection is lost. Then I again turn to porn to get down my arousal. In Lit also there have been similar experiences. I might have been an unlucky case. Or there might be others who also face such.

Well also I am not comfortable everytime with my body. When I am clothed I look good. I am fairly decent looking I call myself handsome. But I am bit fat from belly area and due to pimples on my face and many of my body parts, I usually don't like myself naked. Also I do have phimosis (which I got to know the name when searched online) that my foreskin doesn't go back that usually happens. That also creates some uncertainty in myself that will I ever get accepted sexually. Though I know all that if I can build my body well then I can get confidence, but somehow I start and quit. I am not able to bring myself to exercise.

Well a lot of thoughts. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel I should quit watching porn and joi so much. Focus on self development, improvement, gaining more knowledge, be monetarily more strong. Get my dreams of opening my company. Where I get distracted here in these matters. I know I can't do sex in real probably till I get married. So why even try? But then again after all this I return to same thing. I guess I am too addicted and going way down into a hole I can't gauge.

Although with all this sexual fantasies and needs. I haven't been disrespect or looked a lady in a bad way. Ofcourse as a man I get attracted by their beauty. Sometimes I do imagine that what if she and I got to date and maybe get intimate but I mean I never imagined them into any forceful activities or other lewd way.

I have written it in very random manner. If you have reached so far. I am thanking you. I would like to hear about what you think? Am I in need to show doctor for my addiction to porn? Am I a wierd case? Any tips I can improve?

If you have your precious time to my post, I am greatful to you. And sorry if you think I just wasted your time. I would like your genuine opinion and a discussion on this. Please don't answer using AI.

Wishing you a good day, good afternoon or good night wherever you are.

 

[Magesthicc]

This is an absolute personal opinion, there is no Medical study here or "what the 99% of the professionals think" crap.
Porn addiction is as bad as drink or cigarettes. If you can't get hard or jerkoff using only your imagination or prefer to be inside home watching pics or videos instead of knowing real people maybe you will need to vent this with some professional who can help you. Not being able to achieve real life experiences could guide you to a very dark place.
I watched close friends enter that path and they weren't pretty good after a while.

Hope this message doesn't offend you, is not an attack, is just a commentary based in first hand experiences that I saw.

 

[BunnyM25]

This is an absolute personal opinion, there is no Medical study here or "what the 99% of the professionals think" crap.
Porn addiction is as bad as drink or cigarettes. If you can't get hard or jerkoff using only your imagination or prefer to be inside home watching pics or videos instead of knowing real people maybe you will need to vent this with some professional who can help you. Not being able to achieve real life experiences could guide you to a very dark place.
I watched close friends enter that path and they weren't pretty good after a while.

Hope this message doesn't offend you, is not an attack, is just a commentary based in first hand experiences that I saw.

I totally understand. Right now it's not like I can't get hard only with imagination or can't come off without relying on something. But yes ofcourse I agree that I have been doing it frequently and nearly all of the time relying on a video gets much more easier than imagination.

That being said I am tired of relying on videos or audios or erotic texts. I want a relat life interaction. I want to feel the wetness of the kisses, warmth of the body, tenderness of the skin, the romance of pleasure give and take. But right now without a long term relationship or an actual life partner, I think I might not be able to get that feel. The society and taboo related to sex here would shame me or shame my family if anything goes sideways during the sex.

On top of that I am not confident on my body as I have described. And I don't know why though I think about hitting gym and getting fit, it always end up being in thought. Totally my fault I know.

But hey thanks for your reply. I don't expect a 99% expert opinion. I just need a genuine opinion, like you are my elder brother or a elder sister or a friend or some well wisher. So again thank you. I understand what you said.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

Wow this post didn't go as planned

 

[BunnyM25]

Wow this post didn't go as planned

What do you mean?

 

[Thomas_Hardy]

Here my tuppence of advice, coming from a place 40 years ago that was not unlike yours, albeit in a different century: don't worry about the porn, don't worry about the uncertainty and pimples. I lost my virginity in my mid 20s, I had pimples, I struggled to talk to women or meet one that was interested in me. Until I learned to be my own best friend and to be on my side, and that things will be OK.

From what you write you are decent, kind, self-reflective and you know how to communicate. Time is on your side for the next decade and more. here's what to do: find some kind of group activity after work or for the weekends, something that brings together men, women, anybody, but in a group setting. Could be anything, as long as it gets you in touch with new people and their friendship networks. Just by interacting and relaxing you become interesting to others including women. Also, it's ok to be with yourself and learn become your own best friend and wingman.

 

[BunnyM25]

Here my tuppence of advice, coming from a place 40 years ago that was not unlike yours, albeit in a different century: don't worry about the porn, don't worry about the uncertainty and pimples. I lost my virginity in my mid 20s, I had pimples, I struggled to talk to women or meet one that was interested in me. Until I learned to be my own best friend and to be on my side, and that things will be OK.

From what you write you are decent, kind, self-reflective and you know how to communicate. Time is on your side for the next decade and more. here's what to do: find some kind of group activity after work or for the weekends, something that brings together men, women, anybody, but in a group setting. Could be anything, as long as it gets you in touch with new people and their friendship networks. Just by interacting and relaxing you become interesting to others including women. Also, it's ok to be with yourself and learn be become your own best friend and wingmate.

Thank you. I hope you are doing good.

Since I work on night shift in all the weekdays. I guess weekend are only way to socialize. Let me see if I can join any group. And I will try to be my own best friend and wingman.

Thank you for your advice.