Visitation Rights.

[heartofcourage]

Chelsea ducked her head slightly, knowing that her father was serious when he spoke to her about things like that. Her mother was the one that usually scolded her. This was a whole new world, however.

"I promise, daddy." Chelsea said as conversation turned towards the meal that Jessica had prepared.

Jessica laughed softly, looking up at her ex-husband with a grin on her lips. "The way to your father's heart has always been a good meal, Chel. He especially likes chocolate cake after a bad day. That's how he found out we were going to have you. He'd had a really hard day at work, I was a weeping mess in our little apartment, but he had an amazing chocolate cake waiting on him."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"A chocolate cake and the best news in our marriage, that we had made a life together," Mark remembered, "how could I not be ecstatic? And sure enough, several months later, here you were, sport."

"I'd recall another incident, but it's not for Chelsea's innocent ears," he winked at Jess, recalling when they conceived Chelsea.

Yeah....that night in the apartment hot tub, a few beers, and the shower that followed....how could he forget? How could she?

 

[heartofcourage]

Jessica smiled at her ex husband as he mentioned the night they had gotten drunk, had wild sex in the shower and hot tub, and found out they were expecting Chelsea just weeks later. It was one of her favorite memories.

"Mark." She said with a warning tone in her voice, her eyes telling him that they could talk about this later if he wanted to reminisce. "Chel, why don't you go and get ready to go. I'll let you have the car tonight."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Yes, as your mother said, you get the car for the night. Run along now and be careful. It's dangerous out there," Mark smiled, mouthing to Jess, Don't worry, I wasn't going to say a thing around her.

"Give us a hug, though, both of us," he added quickly.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Thank you, Mom." Chelsea said with a huge smile as she kissed her mother's cheek and hurried up to get ready for her night out.

When she came back down, the adults were still at the table finishing their dinner. She hadn't seen her mother that happy in a very long time, she thought to herself as she stopped first at her side and hugged her tightly and then did the same to her father.

"Midnight curfew, Chel." Jessica said as her daughter nodded. "And please be careful."

"I promise, Mom. Good night, Daddy." She said with another kiss to her father's cheek before she was gone, leaving the two of them alone.

"How do we have a sixteen year old?" Jessica asked with a baffled tone. "I remember when she was still a newborn. It doesn't seem possible."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Father Time can be such a tyrant that way. Doesn't listen to any of us. Doesn't give a rat's ass what we want," Mark noted, "Yes, I would much rather that she was still our little girl, but she is growing up no matter what."

"I really wasn't going to recall those events in her hearing, I assure you," he confirmed, "She has, I hope, some innocence left. No need to steal that from her."

 

[heartofcourage]

Jessica hoped that Mark was right in his guess that Chelsea was still innocent in some way. She thought about meeting Mark and how quickly everything had happened between them. Perhaps one day Chelsea would find a guy who made her feel the same way.

"We each lost ours at her age. I guess it isn't so hard to think that she'll lose hers as well." Jessica commented as she took a sip of her wine. "You were a smooth talker, Mr. Prentiss. You could get into my pants faster than I could think about it."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Yes, I suppose that I was. Though I think that you came to resent me for that. I think that you felt that I had stolen your opportunities at other things, which in fairness, perhaps I did. Such things aren't foremost on the mind of an adolescent male of the red-blooded sort, you know," Mark confessed.

"I think that might have been at the root of some of your resentment of me toward the end," he added.

 

[heartofcourage]

Jessica was a little stunned as Mark told her that he felt like the root of her problems. She let out a little sigh, looking at him across the table as they prepared to have a heart to heart about what had really ended their marriage.

"Mark, things happened so quickly for us. We met, we fell in love, we got married, we had Chelsea all b before I was 21. It was so stressful and I didn't know how to deal with any of it. I loved you so much, but I always wondered what else there was out there for me. What was I missing?" She said softly, feeling a little ashamed that she had been so selfish.

"Then, after the divorce, I realized that there wasn't much out there for me and I had a pretty damn good life with you." She admitted.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I meant in the sense that you thought that you were deprived of a chance and forced to shoulder a heavier burden than you wished at the time. I figured that you blamed me for that. The truth, of course, is that we were two young and dumb kids going into the Great Wide Open without any real knowledge of what we were doing.

"Given that, it's amazing that we did as well as we did, if you think of it. We were both immature, but it was so great in many ways. Things were tough, but we had each other, faced them together. I felt back then such love for you because you had gone through it with me and I felt that we had a bond together," Mark explained.

"I was a bit shell-shocked when you seemed to feel differently about it and I had invested so much in my life with you that there was literally no Plan B. There was never a plan or preparation for life without you. There were plans for many things on my part, I'm an insurance guy, after all, but I just couldn't imagine life without you until it happened. I was at such a loss, so dazed and shaken up, so uncertain of the future, that I really became angry and hostile, even bitter. I just didn't cope very well at all with it.

"I'm not saying this to make you feel worse. Just telling you where I was. It was such a sudden, traumatic event, especially the manner in which it happened, that I was in free fall for months at a time, and even years later, I had no desire to date anyone seriously. My friends pushed me into some blind dates, but my heart was never in it and it wasn't fair to the women, so I dropped it, and they finally took the hint and decided to let me handle it on my own.

"Some people gain weight when they lose someone. I lost it. I stopped eating at various times, just because the nausea wouldn't go away. I even took up smoking pot, though never when Chelsea was around, just to get rid of the nausea and regain my appetite. It was never a lot, mostly when I was so sick at my stomach that the sight of food was intolerable to me. I don't know how you reacted to that, if you noticed it at the time.

"I also took up smoking cigarettes again and threw myself into my work. Social life was a thing of the past, if it ever existed. I was always something of a homebody, as you recall. I enjoyed no one's company better than yours and Chelsea's, after all. On Friday nights, I sometimes went out just long enough to hit on some girl and try to get laid if desperate enough.....and a couple of times, I slept with some colleagues at a business conference. One of them really wanted something further, and I felt horrible about breaking her heart. I even secured her great references so she could get away from me and heal. She deserved those references, anyway.

"Then she miscarried and that really threw me for a loop, knowing that I had gotten her pregnant and also lost a child in the process. I hadn't even known that she was pregnant. I blamed myself for that, and I didn't touch another woman for months. Well, it really was my fault, after all. It was the last time that I ever did anything without a condom on. Found out that she had lied about the birth control pill in order to snare me into marriage or at least a relationship, so I never believed a woman about that again. I took charge of making sure that I would never cause that kind of pain anymore.

"I started drinking very heavily for a while once I quit going out on Fridays and that became my new routine. Deep Space Nine, at least partly because I liked Major Kira, some beer or hard liquor, and a chain of cigarettes longer than a mile. I was never drunk when picking Chelsea up, but I was a bit ragged and hungover beforehand, though I always took those hangover remedies and finally discovered that if I used water or sports drinks as a chaser, the hangover wasn't as bad. Less dehydration, something like that.

"I was past the worst of it and finally settling into a new routine when you told me that you wanted to reconcile. It totally stunned me as much as the other surprise, but this time much more pleasantly, and I admit that I jumped at it. Why wouldn't I? I was always in love with you.....have been since I took you out while you had your learner's permit and I already had my license. You remember driver's ed? I fell in love with you during that period, believe it or not."

 

[heartofcourage]

Jessica listened as he told her just how he had felt after she had left him. It broke her heart. She had been so misguided in her attempt at freedom. She had broken his heart and nearly lost him for good. Not that things for her had been so happy. She had been in a string of relationships that had ranged from strained to awful. They were good men but none of them had been Mark.

"I'm so sorry, baby." She said softly as she reached across the table and took his hand on her own. "I know how much you wanted a big family. Losing a baby...even if it wasn't planned is still hard."

Then he talked about how he had loved her since he met her in driver's ed. She smiled at him, squeezing his hand tightly in her own.

"How about instead of a movie...we go walk the river?" She suggested with a youthful smile on her face. "I bet our old make out spot is still there."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Yes, thank you, I like that idea. Might bring back some of our happier memories. Don't feel too bad. I made my share of mistakes, too. I didn't tell you things to make you feel worse, though apparently they have made you feel that way. Just explain how things have been for me. Maybe I should listen to what you have to say about your life, too. It could be part of getting to know the new you....the one that has been shaped by our lives apart. So I can love that you instead of a memory.

"And thank you for the condolences. I trust that he or she is at peace. I don't know if or when we should tell Chelsea about her baby brother or sister that was never born. Not sure how she would take it. But for now, did you want to tell me anything before we head out to that spot? Or wait until we get there. Anything about your life?"

 

[heartofcourage]

"You really want to hear all of the dirty details?" Jessica asked him, leaning back in her chair slightly. "I never got to have the wild parties that I wanted and wished for. Chelsea was still young enough that she was my sole focus."

"There were other guys. A few that I really liked, but at the end of the day, they weren't you. No one could make me laugh like you did. No one made me feel special the way that you did." Jessica looked down at her empty plate and let out a long sigh. "Our friends hated me. They wouldn't speak to me. Even Chelsea hated me. I know with you it seemed like everything was fine, but she was a holy terror when she was here. She screamed and cried and raged and I know that was all my doing. I had sent her Daddy away. She needed you around so much."

"So I just focused on setting up my own business. It was the only thing that made me happy and that I had control over. You have no idea how much I needed you, Mark."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Wow....we both really needed each other, and both of us needed Chelsea, and she needed us. And we were both too damn stubborn and proud to admit it. And, in my case, even a little too bitter. That's fading, I think. I think that there is plenty of egg on both of our faces to get around. I certainly needed you, just held back because I didn't want to admit that I needed what you didn't, as I knew it, want to give me," Mark sighed.

"For what it's worth, I appreciate that you took the risk first. That took guts. It couldn't have been easy. I couldn't have done that yet....I was sure that you no longer wanted me, so I had determined to make my life as best I could on my own. It seemed my only option. It never occurred to me that the need was mutual. You taking that chance gave me the opening to risk my heart again, to be open and vulnerable with you again," he admitted.

"Anyway, if you're ready, I can take us to the spot in question..what did they use to call it....Make-Out Meadow?" he chuckled at that memory as the pain faded to happy memories.

 

[heartofcourage]

Jessica laughed softly as she stood from her seat and quickly put the dishes and leftovers away. "You might find yourself getting lucky tonight, Mr. Prentiss." Jessica teased as she grabbed her purse and her phone and let him lead her towards his car.

Once she was settled in, she buckled her seat belt and looked across the car at him as he started the engine. "After all of these years, you still make me smile. I hope that you always know that."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

Mark chuckled at that idea and helped out a bit with the dishes to spend more time with her. He wouldn't mind that idea at all....

"I do know that....Well, that makes two of us, Jess. You've made me happier than you can imagine, ever since telling me that you wanted to try being together again."

"Ladies first," he opened the door for her, of course, "Just like old times, but better, I think. I've missed this....I've missed you, baby."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Definitely better. You have a nicer car and I don't have a curfew." Jessica said with a laugh as she leaned across the car and kissed his cheek. "And I have to say that I definitely think my body is way better now then it was in high school."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Certainly, and you know what to do with it better than you did back then. As do I with mine. You're a woman now, not a girl. That's far more attractive, not that you were unattractive before, that you're a woman, not a girl, now," Mark grinned and kissed her lips lightly.

"Plus, to be honest, the love that I feel makes a huge difference for me. There is nothing better than being with the woman that I've always loved, who built a life with me....did so much together with me," he admitted, "the one who was still very lovely and sexy when she carried Chelsea in her belly, though I failed to tell her that. I thought, but should have said it, too."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Well, if I'm honest with you, we're both still young enough that we might have another chance at all of that." Jessica said with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "Who knows where the future might take us. Maybe the next time we can both take a deep breath and enjoy that we have instead of worrying about the future."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"Well, I admit that does have its appeal, seeing new life grow inside you again, giving Chelsea a baby brother or sister. I bet that she has wished for that at times. But as you say, let's live in the present and enjoy ourselves for now. See what comes. We stressed ourselves out and ran ourselves ragged. Let's enjoy each other and what we have instead. If anything more comes, so be it. I know that sounds funny coming from an insurance manager, but that's the best thing right now....living in the here and now," Mark smiled, touching Jess's hand lightly as they reached Make-Out Meadow in the car.

"Well, here we are. Time flies when you're talking about relationships and the past," he smiled.

 

[heartofcourage]

Jessica gave Mark a smile as he took her hand when they reached the meadow. It hadn't changed since the last time they had been there. It was deserted but the field was a beautiful as ever with wildflowers growing in abundance. She remembered the first time that Mark had taken her there. It was before they had sex, but it didn't stop them from getting hot and heavy in the front seat of his car.

"I use to love coming here with you." Jessica said, giving his hand a squeeze. "I gave you a blowjob for the first time here. It was horrible, but you didn't seem to complain."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

Mark chuckled again at that memory, confessing, "Well, to be fair, I'd never had one before you. I bragged of them, but that was my own feverish imagination. The most that I had before that was eating out Ms. Haines. You remember her, right?"

He didn't need to add that Ms. Haines was now serving 10 years in a state prison for statutory rape. Her past had caught up with her.

"Besides, what you lacked in experience....and so did I, we made up for in passion and enthusiasm. Give yourself credit....you got into it. One of my friends told me that was a bad sign of your character and I told him flat out that you only did that because you were in love. I still think so to this day."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I'll admit that I got the idea from watching porn. I know I was terrible at it but I wanted to make you happy." Jessica admitted to him as she looked across the dark interior of the car. "Although you were pretty good at going down on me. You had practice, though."

"I'm still in love, Mark." Jessica said as she leaned across the center of the car and kissed her ex husband with a long sigh. "I've always been in love with you."

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Mark Prentiss

"I know, honey. I'm very much still in love with you. I've never stopped loving you, not once. It's hard to explain, but I couldn't stop it. I could never cease, no matter what. And thank you, you're right, though, I did have practice. But for a raw talent, trust me, you did better than you think. Though you got a lot better with time," Mark admitted as he kissed her eagerly, "there is a lot to be said for enthusiasm, too. And you've always shown that."

"Remember that time when I was home sick all day and you were sure to catch what I had if you did anything with me, but you still sucked me while I rested, so I woke up to your lips around my dick? I never properly thanked for you that. Sorry about that. You getting the flu afterward made me feel guilty as sin."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I could think of worse ways to get the flu." Jessica said with a smile, laughing at the memory. "And you took care of me so well over the next few days. The best nurse that I've ever had."

It felt really good to be with Mark again, talking about old times and thinking about what they would do in the future. This was what she had been thinking about and needing for so long. It was like a dream come true to be there with him that moment, about to take a huge step in their reconciliation.

"Want to move to the backseat?" Jessica asked him almost shyly, giving him a smile as she hoped that he would say yes.