What's next, Spork Control?

[IrezumiKiss]

Teenager Slashed with Sporks in Vicious Attack at a San Francisco Denny's

According to NBC Bay Area, on early Thursday morning, an 18-year-old woman was hospitalized after receiving several injuries to the face by a group of women armed with sporks.

Police said the woman was dining at a 24-hour restaurant in the 800 block of Mission Street in San Francisco at approximately 3:50 AM when she got involved in a fight with a group of at least four other women, the news station reported.

During the fight, the teenager was allegedly held down by the women, who slashed her face several times with the plastic utensil and then ran off with the victim’s cell phone.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/59vzzn/teenager-slashed-with-sporks-in-vicious-attack-at-a-san-francisco-dennys

http://giphygifs.s3.amazonaws.com/media/tpwwhv1BLd31e/200.gif

 

[rae121452]

we had an incident here not too long ago-2 women got into an argument in the middle of the night at an ihop over one talking on a cellphone. one threw her pancakes at the other one and then proceeded to rip off her wig and beat her over the head with the coffeemaker. no one is safe.

 

[BotanyBoy]

San Francisco......what a shithole.

 

[ryan8558]

did they have concealed/carry license for the sporks?

 

[Paul_Chance]

I want a high capacity spork.

(LOL - one of the most vicious stabbings I ever saw when I was in high school decades ago was done with a common table fork. I do not ever want to get stabbed by a fork. That is just a dull piece of metal being plunged into you with brute force.)

 

[Shadwell41]

did they have concealed/carry license for the sporks?

No, but witnesses saw several napkins and lemon-scented, moist towelettes, which authorities confirmed were found at the scene. An investigation is underway to determine whether or not these belonged to the sporkers, and if they were obtained legally.

 

[HisArpy]

No, but witnesses saw several napkins and lemon-scented, moist towelettes, which authorities confirmed were found at the scene. An investigation is underway to determine whether or not these belonged to the sporkers, and if they were obtained legally.

We need a background check law before possessing sporks, napkins, and towelettes. Also they should be micro-stamped and serialized so that law enforcement can trace them. And, to make sure that they stay out of the hands of criminals, we should limit them to 1 in 30 days. Plus a $39 recycling fee at time of purchase, or use if dispensed.

 

[TwinkleStars]

we had an incident here not too long ago-2 women got into an argument in the middle of the night at an ihop over one talking on a cellphone. one threw her pancakes at the other one and then proceeded to rip off her wig and beat her over the head with the coffeemaker. no one is safe.

I feel sad for the pancakes.

 

[Aglaopheme]

I was forced to eat my lunch with a plastic knife.

 

[TwinkleStars]

I was forced to eat my lunch with a plastic knife.

10 years from now people will be saying. "When I was a kid, I remember when we had REAL cutlery. None of this plastic crap."

 

[Aglaopheme]

10 years from now people will be saying. "When I was a kid, I remember when we had REAL cutlery. None of this plastic crap."

I hope you’re wrong. I think there is a big trend to get rid of the plastic. I am happy
To see folks using metal straws everywhere I go. Then of course there’s this

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thecut.com/amp/2019/07/woman-dies-impaled-metal-straw.html

Death by Metal Straw Is a New Thing to Be Paranoid About


I have lovely flatware I just neglected to bring any with me to the shop today.

 

[thør]

https://obbop.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/spork-notesjpg.jpeg

 

[von_Bismarck]

I'm hoping more work will be done on bioplastics. They're better in some respects to ordinary plastic, but not without drawbacks, and in some cases their benefits may have been overstated.

 

[TwinkleStars]

I hope you’re wrong. I think there is a big trend to get rid of the plastic. I am happy
To see folks using metal straws everywhere I go. Then of course there’s this

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thecut.com/amp/2019/07/woman-dies-impaled-metal-straw.html

Death by Metal Straw Is a New Thing to Be Paranoid About


I have lovely flatware I just neglected to bring any with me to the shop today.

Any time I see things such as this thread mentions I always think, 'This is why we can't have nice things.' Hell, a kid can't even bring a fork to school so he/she can eat that wonderful piece of cake mom let him/her have.

 

[Adre]

San Francisco......what a shithole.

^^^Angry that he can’t afford to live there.

It's no surprise that San Francisco tops the list of most expensive places to live. Residents have been lamenting the high cost of living for a long time, and yet the city's charm, Asian influence, and status as a hot high-tech locale packs a lot of appeal. On the other hand, the city has far and away the most expensive rent in the country, averaging $3,300 a month for a one-bedroom. Groceries are also more expensive than they are elsewhere.

According to GOBankingRate


It seems almost no one agrees with you.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Let us lament the high cost of sporks. Doubtlessly the result of vast liberal conspiracy to deprive us of these easy to carry, easy to operate instruments of death and destruction.

 

[adrina]

Let us lament the high cost of sporks. Doubtlessly the result of vast liberal conspiracy to deprive us of these easy to carry, easy to operate instruments of death and destruction.

Yes because liberals live to make your life more difficult. It's our thing. We have lots of conspiracies. Almost as many as Alex Jones and Rush Limbaugh. Almost.

 

[FukLuk]

Is "sporking" when you have a semi and you spoon with your girls?

 

[butters]

Is "sporking" when you have a semi and you spoon with your girls?

only if it's plastic or a metal, folding affair for camping trips

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Honestly, when I think about it design wise, the spoon/fork ratio of spork reliability in its function is like, maybeeee....90/10.

It's adequate for rending foods (takeout mainly) that are otherwise somewhat resistant and needs a bit of separation...but when was the last time you actually used a spork for its spearing ability?

https://media1.giphy.com/media/j2B91F5p9ywdWjmtsc/giphy.gif

 

[Aglaopheme]

Honestly, when I think about it design wise, the spoon/fork ratio of spork reliability in its function is like, maybeeee....90/10.

It's adequate for rending foods (takeout mainly) that are otherwise somewhat resistant and needs a bit of separation...but when was the last time you actually used a spork for its spearing ability?

https://media1.giphy.com/media/j2B91F5p9ywdWjmtsc/giphy.gif

Sporkability ought to be a poll. Ratings should be included in every recipe.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Sporkability ought to be a poll. Ratings should be included in every recipe.

This should be a word. Or a hashtag. Or both.

Whatever. It needs to be fetch.

And if we get it trending, we are giving you due credit.

unless...you...nabbed it off someone else...in which case, errr...

 

[Aglaopheme]

This should be a word. Or a hashtag. Or both.

Whatever. It needs to be fetch.

And if we get it trending, we are giving you due credit.

unless...you...nabbed it off someone else...in which case, errr...

I have not to my knowledge, but now I am going to google it.

 

[Aglaopheme]

http://www.sporkability.org/

 

[IrezumiKiss]

http://www.sporkability.org/

Huh.

https://media2.giphy.com/media/5nogzlGlxw7jIEHZuG/giphy.gif

What a cool site. I shoulda guessed someone would've done something with that term.