What's Your Diagnosis??

[rosco rathbone]

Perhaps if we used premature ejaculators this problem with the protocol might be avoided.

 

[Marquis]

Wouldn't that introduce sampling error?

The integrity of the data must be maintained!

 

[Killishandra]

I've heard that semen, like celery and some other foods, is anti-caloric. Meaning, it takes your stomach more calories in work-energy to break it down the chemical bonds than your body receives from the break-down.

Just thought I'd chip in with that.

 

[laurel-marie]

Pssst...for the dietitian at the institute:

According to the Re/Search Guide to Bodily Fluids (Paul Spinard, 1994), the average man produces about 3.5 mL of semen per ejaculation whose nutritional value is:
less than 1 calorie
150 mg. protein
11 mg. carbohydrates
6 mg. fat.
3 mg. cholesterol
7% US RDA potassium
3% US RDA copper
3% US RDA zinc
300 million spermatozoa
(Someday men will have to have all this tattooed to the side of their hip, like a can of Coke or a box of Wheaties.)

It looks healthy enough per serving size, but when compared to breast milk (which has about 170 calories per cup), semen has about 40% more calories (about 230 calories per cup). High levels of fructose (fruit sugar!) is normal in the semen and this sugar comes almost entirely from the seminal vesicles.


More Fun Sperm Facts

For the "average" man, the ejaculate contains over 80 million sperm. In addition to the little wiggly things, semen contains (taken from several web sites):
water
ascorbic acid (vitamin C)
blood-group antigens
calcium (yes, just like milk!)
chlorine (add your own little contribution to cleanliness!)
cholesterol (Is this the "bad cholesterol" or "good cholesterol"?)
citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium (what do you know, these are good for fertilization too!)
prostaglandins (fatty acids that, while not a hormone, perform hormone-like functions)
purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid
sodium (good to have, especially if you've been sweating a lot)
sorbitol, spermidine, spermine
vitamin B12 and zinc (you would think it's a multivitamin)

Can anyone say....'Mmmmm, good to the last drop"?

 

[rosco rathbone]

I think all these variables will become statistically invisible once something on the order of 2x10 data points have been collected.

 

[Marquis]

LMFAO

This man brought out the scientific notation with actual exponents.

The day is yours Rosco, I can't keep up.

 

[rosco rathbone]

"character map"

 

[Marquis]

Very good.

I suggest we use the Σ method to analyze the p-value of our results.

 

[Killishandra]

If you'd like to do your own studies, I know how to run various tests for biochemical pathways as well as tests to determine the components in semen.

Not that laurel-marie hasn't already provided a wealth of data.

*off to bed*

 

[Marquis]

If you'd like to do your own studies, I know how to run various tests for biochemical pathways as well as tests to determine the components in semen.

Not that laurel-marie hasn't already provided a wealth of data.

*off to bed*

This gives me a fun idea.

I want you to get a hold of a test tube for when I come to Hawaii on Sunday. A labcoat and some 0 prescription glasses would be good too.

On second thought... just borrow someone's glasses, the higher the prescription the better.

 

[Killishandra]

This gives me a fun idea.

I want you to get a hold of a test tube for when I come to Hawaii on Sunday. A labcoat and some 0 prescription glasses would be good too.

On second thought... just borrow someone's glasses, the higher the prescription the better.

I can't use my own glasses?

I have two labcoats.
Also have dorky, green safety goggles and assorted lab gloves.

I think I can guess what you're idea is...


You're gross; I like you.

 

[Marquis]

Go To Bed!