Where do you meet girls?

[redbull5000]

Im a single guy (never had a gf or been on a date for that matter). I was wondering where you are supposed to meet girls? Theres not many girls in my classes at school, and the girls at my work are already taken. (dont know if i would want to go out with someone at work anyways.) So, where can I go to meet some single girls. (Age 18-23)

 

[Volz]

Get involved in some activities, take classes, etc.

You'll find women who are interested in the same things as you are. And it will give you chance to get to know them before so you know whether you would want to take them out or not.

 

[sxylegs]

Im a single guy (never had a gf or been on a date for that matter). I was wondering where you are supposed to meet girls? Theres not many girls in my classes at school, and the girls at my work are already taken. (dont know if i would want to go out with someone at work anyways.) So, where can I go to meet some single girls. (Age 18-23)

Why havent you been out on a date before?

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Hey I'm in the same boat. Never been on a date or had a girlfriend...Why you ask. My city is very shallow. Cars, money and looks goes all the way. Nice guys here finish last. You have no chance with any attractive girl because like 6 guys with a better car are after her.

So I simply say, wait and see what is outside the city your in. Sometimes it's just not there.


Ravin

 

[redbull5000]

Re: Re: Where do you meet girls?

Why havent you been out on a date before?

Ive never asked a girl out, and have never been asked out by a girl. I dont want to get turned down, so i just dont ever ask..

 

[zhukov1943]

Best way is to take some classes - even if they're just "community learning" kind of stuff. You'll automatically have something in common, and something to talk about. I'm shy, and HATE getting shot down, too (yeah, I know nobody likes it, but it REALLY gets under my skin), so I know how you feel. Just strike up a conversation before or after class ABOUT class - see if they want to get together for a cup of coffee outside of class to "study" or something. If they give you the polite "brush-off", smile, and exit gracefully. There will be other girls, and other opportunities.

Just be confident, friendly, funny, and don't give 'em the 'desperate puppy-dog' approach - it scares 'em off!

 

[xDonkeyxPunchx]

Hey I'm in the same boat. Never been on a date or had a girlfriend...Why you ask. My city is very shallow. Cars, money and looks goes all the way. Nice guys here finish last. You have no chance with any attractive girl because like 6 guys with a better car are after her.

So I simply say, wait and see what is outside the city your in. Sometimes it's just not there.


Ravin

a shallow attitude like that will get you nowhere. Just because the rich guy is 'after' the girl doesnt mean squat. If he's an ass she will see him for it. Its FEAR that gets most guys, fear of rejection, fear of saying that first hello. Dont be affraid, get up and do somthing about it. You cant expect everything to just up and fall into your lap. Women especially.

 

[dollface007]

a shallow attitude like that will get you nowhere. Just because the rich guy is 'after' the girl doesnt mean squat. If he's an ass she will see him for it. Its FEAR that gets most guys, fear of rejection, fear of saying that first hello. Dont be affraid, get up and do somthing about it. You cant expect everything to just up and fall into your lap. Women especially.

Word up, Donkey. The best way to ensure never finding a girlfriend (or a date) is to spew that "girls are shallow" crap around town and act like you're better than everybody else. Girls (like me, who are not shallow) hate guys with such superiority complexes. Pretty, rich people hang with pretty, rich people. Get over it, Ravin. If you're living in Palm Springs and can't stand pretty, rich people, maybe you need to move. If you're living in Everytown, U.S.A. than open your eyes to women who are more your speed and stop chasing after shallow people.

As for redbull's original question, I agree that you should get out and get involved in different activities. Even if you're not entirely sure you want to be involved in something, or you're afraid a social event will be a drag, go anyway. The point should be to meet lots of new people, not necessarily just women.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I meet girls at school. But I don't care for girls. I want women.

Women are capable of looking beyond the car, the clothes, the perfect looks, to find a person worth getting to know.

Where do I find them? In places that I go to for purposes other than meeting women, that I go to enough to get to know the regulars. (this applies to both real life and online, though real life is preferable, as it means you are geographically close to each other, which is most times not the case online)

The fact that they are regulars means that they have a common interest with you, and thus you have an ice breaker, something to start a conversation with them about.

Once you get them talking to you, you find out more about them, and they about you. Oftentimes, this leads to an attraction, as you two have now become kindred spirits on at least one level, by having a shared experience.

This can lead to friendship, or to romance. You should be open to and happy with either. If friendship, the sheer fact that you are seen with her tells other women, on some level, that you are worth gettting to know, and raises the odds that they will be willing to meet you and get to know you.

If romance, hey! you have your first girlfriend.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

I meet girls at school. But I don't care for girls. I want women.

Women are capable of looking beyond the car, the clothes, the perfect looks, to find a person worth getting to know.

Where do I find them? In places that I go to for purposes other than meeting women, that I go to enough to get to know the regulars. (this applies to both real life and online, though real life is preferable, as it means you are geographically close to each other, which is most times not the case online)

The fact that they are regulars means that they have a common interest with you, and thus you have an ice breaker, something to start a conversation with them about.

Once you get them talking to you, you find out more about them, and they about you. Oftentimes, this leads to an attraction, as you two have now become kindred spirits on at least one level, by having a shared experience.

This can lead to friendship, or to romance. You should be open to and happy with either. If friendship, the sheer fact that you are seen with her tells other women, on some level, that you are worth gettting to know, and raises the odds that they will be willing to meet you and get to know you.

If romance, hey! you have your first girlfriend.

Forgive my cynical, overtly pessimistic nature, but... I've seen women act just like if not worse that your definition of girls. Not saying it's true for all of them... but women can be just as materialistic. But hey like I said... I'm feeling extremely cynical and pessimistic right now.

J

 

[human_male]

The thing that stops me approaching women isn't the fear of rejection it's the fear of them feeling threatened. If I got chatting to someone at the checkout in a supermarket or something like that (which is the only contact I have with women) and I asked her if she'd like to have a coffee with me what would she think? Even if she said no would she think it's nice, or wonder what the hell this guy is doing asker her out and feel all freaked out and threatened.

There was a girl at a burgerking I used to go to and we'd chat a bit and I always thought she liked me. What would have happened if I'd asked her out? It was the thought of her thinking it was really inapporpriate of me (which it would have been) that stopped me.

As for the question... have you tried singles websites?

 

[sxylegs]

The thing that stops me approaching women isn't the fear of rejection it's the fear of them feeling threatened. If I got chatting to someone at the checkout in a supermarket or something like that (which is the only contact I have with women) and I asked her if she'd like to have a coffee with me what would she think? Even if she said no would she think it's nice, or wonder what the hell this guy is doing asker her out and feel all freaked out and threatened.

There was a girl at a burgerking I used to go to and we'd chat a bit and I always thought she liked me. What would have happened if I'd asked her out? It was the thought of her thinking it was really inapporpriate of me (which it would have been) that stopped me.

As for the question... have you tried singles websites?

Hun....you think too damn much........most women feel good about someone being interested in them.......most flattered.....now if you hang around after getting a no...then they might feel threatened......
Most people dont think that much about stuff. If a customer of mine asks me out, I politely thank them and tell them Im seeing someone and usually smile and tell them if it doesnt work out I will let them know.... Then they know it isnt them......I have never felt threatened or anything negative. And it happpens tome a lot.....
So chill out and just ask and if you get a no, the move on.....dont stand around just say thank you and go......

Good luck.....

 

[phoenix1224]

It sounds like your real problem is that you are either too shy or too afraid of rejection to approach women... You're going to have to try to work on building up your confidence.

One thing that women can just SMELL from a man is a lack of confidence... And they tend to stay away from those types of guys.

So, you just might have to take a little advise from the twelve step groups and 'fake it til you make it'.

When you walk into a room... Hold your head up high, pull your shoulders back, and don't avoid making eye contact (even with the most beautiful woman in the room)... Act like you BELONG, even if you don't feel like you really do.

You'd be surprised at the results.

Hell... I used to be painfully shy... I couldn't appraoch a woman to save my life. But then a freind gave me the same advise that I just gave you... And everything began to change... Women began to approach ME.

And also... You say that you work with a lot of attractive women... Ever thought of asking them if they have any freinds that they could set you up with?

 

[ReadyOne]

There was a girl on another floor at work who I really hit it off with. Eventually, I asked her out, and she said angerly, "Oh no, Tony wiould kill me!"

Later she shows up with bruises and several people, including a boss, get looking into things and -- you guessed it -- she's living in fear to some guy who abuses her.

And - needless to say -- nothing could get her to leave him.

 

[Distortion]

sigh, im the same as redbull, i cant get myself over the fear of them not saying yes. I got close to trying one time, but gave up in the end. I guess the only relationship i had was a short one with a girl i met at a party.
She made it pretty clear to me that she liked me, but i left for college soon after and so thats gone.

kinda sad too, because i really liked her. She's smart, artsy, cute, and she likes anime too :3

 

[Zergplex]

Re: Re: Where do you meet girls?

Why havent you been out on a date before?

Well once upon a time I was in the same boat, I didn't have my first date until I was nearly 19. I was waiting and searching for that special someone, and I chose well. Now, 2 years and some odds later we are still together, in love, and with no signs of either ending anytime soon ^_^ sometimes waiting for the right person instead of dating the first person that says yes is a good thing...

Any guy can find a date, but not every guy finds love.

-Zergplex

 

[human_male]

It's amazing how many of us are in the same boat. Pefectly nice men that for some reason just don't meet or get women. Yet there's some asshole who beats up women who's probably never had trouble attracting them in his entire life.

 

[potatohead]

Re: Re: Re: Where do you meet girls?

Ive never asked a girl out, and have never been asked out by a girl. I dont want to get turned down, so i just dont ever ask..

Sad dude. Just sad.

So like, even if you meet girls in your classes or something you'll never ask any of them out because you don't want to get shot down?

Think about that for a minute...Does that make ANY sense?

 

[redbull5000]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Where do you meet girls?

So like, even if you meet girls in your classes or something you'll never ask any of them out because you don't want to get shot down?

Think about that for a minute...Does that make ANY sense?

I know it doesnt really make sense, but its just what i do. I really have this thing about feeling stupid.. I dont like it. I would just feel like an idiot if I asked out some girl I liked and she turned me down...

 

[potatohead]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Where do you meet girls?

I know it doesnt really make sense, but its just what i do. I really have this thing about feeling stupid.. I dont like it. I would just feel like an idiot if I asked out some girl I liked and she turned me down...

Uh huh.

But you ok standing there saying nothing right?

I bet your the kinda guy who would rather piss his own pants rather then telling the driver to pull over so you can whiz.

Your rejecting yourself before she even HAS a chance to reject you.

lol

 

[sxylegs]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Where do you meet girls?

I know it doesnt really make sense, but its just what i do. I really have this thing about feeling stupid.. I dont like it. I would just feel like an idiot if I asked out some girl I liked and she turned me down...

My boyfriend hates me when I say this.....but Im going to say it anyway......

You are being stupid when you dont put yourself forward and do what you want........You are not stupid when they say no......

You have to go after what you want of you will go back home and berate yourself.......If you wait that long.....


take the plunge.....the worse that can happen is that they will say no.......big deal......that never killed anybody....

Good Luck.....you seem like a nice guy.....so go out there and let somebody else realize it too....

 

[zhukov1943]

>>>the worse that can happen is that they will say no.......big deal......that never killed anybody....

I know y'all are trying to help him, and the crowd at Literotica is one of the kindest and most giving that I've ever seen - but believe me, some people take rejection A LOT HARDER than others...

I've seen my friends having fun intentionally tryng to get "shot down" - and laughing about it afterwards. Whenever I get the "brush-off", my emotions range from slightly embarassed to absolutely mortified - and often, I'm unable to rid myself of the memory or the humiliation for a LONG time afterwards...

Yeah - I know that I and other people like me are probably mis-adjusted or something. Maybe we need some sort of "I-don't-give-a-shit" prescription pill - but the truth is that I miss a LOT of great opportunities because I won't "stick myself out there" unless I'm pretty darned sure that I won't get shot down.

Red bull - you do whatever you gotta do, man. If you don't feel comfortable approaching women "cold", then don't do it. Just try to set things up so that you have opportunities to talk to women in a setting that you DO feel comfortable approaching them. In my experience, bars and nightclubs are the WORST places for shy guys to meet women. Classes, clubs, and doing volunteer work are much, MUCH better.

 

[Goldie Munro]

You meet girls (or boys for that matter) everywhere! Just be open and go with the flow - even the net is a good place!