Where to Find Older Men?

[DinglyDangly]

Hi! I’m in college but not really interested in guys my age. I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but if I want to try flirting with older men, like 40+, where should I go for that? I’m super shy, so dating seems like too much for now, and I want to be safe. Any advice? Thanks! <3

I'm on the wrong continent

 

[Britva415]

Reddit.

I'm just very content in myself/not looking to force a conversation. If a woman happened to sit next to me at the bar, and is attractive, I might spark a conversation with her. But approaching someone from across the room is almost out of the question, especially if she looks much younger.

It didn't occur to me until your post that when OP said "I want to go flirt with >40yo men" she may have really meant she wanted to be approached by them, rather than go do the approaching, herself.

But that's probably what she meant, when I think about it.

Sounds like you understood that all along.

 

[lovethebeach2007]

It would depend on the locations you frequent.

Obviously teachers are probably off limits. What about people that work in administration or maintenance on campus?

Do you live off campus? If in an apartment building, what about your landlord? Any older neighbors?

Do you have a job? A restaurant you frequent? Im sure you actually go places where those men fit your qualifications. Identify one or two that you are attracted to physically and start flirting.

Good luck!

I did just get a part time job, but all of my coworkers are my age, mostly.

I live off campus, and some of my neighbors are older men, so maybe that’s an option? There’s this really nice older man who likes to come keep me company sometimes when I go sit in the hot tub for our condo complex at night. He seems fun and sweet.

I appreciate your advice, this is helpful!

 

[lovethebeach2007]

It didn't occur to me until your post that when OP said "I want to go flirt with >40yo men" she may have really meant she wanted to be approached by them, rather than go do the approaching, herself.

But that's probably what she meant, when I think about it.

Sounds like you understood that all along.

I could try to do the approaching, but I’m so shy! Especially with older men, I just don’t know what I have to say that they’d want to listen to. I can talk about books and movies and current events, and I’m sweet at least. I like asking people about themselves. Will that work?

 

[lovethebeach2007]

Get yourself a job at place where older guys go, golf club, country club, or something that you have an interest in just look around we are everywhere but you gotta show interest

This is a great idea! I just got a job somewhere with a bunch of young people, but maybe I should go work somewhere like you mentioned. We have a local country club with a golf course, so that would literally be so perfect!

 

[lovethebeach2007]

Your professors?

One of them’s actually been kind of flirty with me, but I don’t want to get in trouble. He’s cute, too!

 

[lovethebeach2007]

And think of all the loose change you could get out of their pants pockets.

Lol! I know it might seem like that, but I’m not interested in anyone’s money. I like to work hard for my own things.

I’ve only been with one person before, and it was an older man, so I’m not really interested in boys my age. I don’t know? They just don’t seem right for me. My body and my mind aren’t excited by 18 year old guys. Men in their 40s, 50s, and even 60 year olds though, they’re what’s driving my mind crazy and making my body ache.

 

[AnomalyLady]

I don’t know about the old man musk. That’s a lot of hype.

Are you asking me if people smell or not?

Ok. Regardless of age, the best men smell like this:
Snow even when it’s summer
The river
Gunpowder
Wood
Bear
Flannel
1A / Liberty

When someone comes out with a cologne that encompasses all of that, I will be the first buyer.

 

[AnomalyLady]

Speaking from experience??

Sure

 

[jonesinforfun82]

One of them’s actually been kind of flirty with me, but I don’t want to get in trouble. He’s cute, too!

Lol! I know it might seem like that, but I’m not interested in anyone’s money. I like to work hard for my own things.

I’ve only been with one person before, and it was an older man, so I’m not really interested in boys my age. I don’t know? They just don’t seem right for me. My body and my mind aren’t excited by 18 year old guys. Men in their 40s, 50s, and even 60 year olds though, they’re what’s driving my mind crazy and making my body ache.

we do good things

 

[jonesinforfun82]

One of them’s actually been kind of flirty with me, but I don’t want to get in trouble. He’s cute, too!

Go for it

 

[Utmale48]

I could try to do the approaching, but I’m so shy! Especially with older men, I just don’t know what I have to say that they’d want to listen to. I can talk about books and movies and current events, and I’m sweet at least. I like asking people about themselves. Will that work?

Yes it will. If you say hi they’ll talk with you. Amd typically ask about you. That’s what I’m would do anyway.

 

[hiker1976]

This is a great idea! I just got a job somewhere with a bunch of young people, but maybe I should go work somewhere like you mentioned. We have a local country club with a golf course, so that would literally be so perfect!

You could be the concession cart girl, that way you meet lots of golfers. You’ll also get great tips.

 

[BillyWalrus]

You could be the concession cart girl, that way you meet lots of golfers. You’ll also get great tips.

Almost every golfer flirts with the beer cart girl especially if she is attractive.

 

[Britva415]

Your professors?

One of them’s actually been kind of flirty with me, but I don’t want to get in trouble. He’s cute, too!

It's more likely to get him in trouble than you.

 

[phunkyphresh]

Hi! I’m in college but not really interested in guys my age. I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but if I want to try flirting with older men, like 40+, where should I go for that? I’m super shy, so dating seems like too much for now, and I want to be safe. Any advice? Thanks! <3

i'm 49 and my DMs are open to you. you can flirt all you want with me

 

[SouthByWest]

One of them’s actually been kind of flirty with me, but I don’t want to get in trouble. He’s cute, too.

Just do it. It's safer for everyone if you make the first move.

 

[13Fantasies]

I did just get a part time job, but all of my coworkers are my age, mostly.

I live off campus, and some of my neighbors are older men, so maybe that’s an option? There’s this really nice older man who likes to come keep me company sometimes when I go sit in the hot tub for our condo complex at night. He seems fun and sweet.

I appreciate your advice, this is helpful!

Sounds like this guy would be a good test case. Clearly he likes what he sees or he would likely not be there all the time when you are.

The next time you two tub together, ask him if he'll join you again next time and tell him when you plan to be back. It may not lead to immediate flirting as he will probably be cautious, but the more you invite him, the greater the chance.

Worst case scenario, ask him what it would take for him to flirt with a girl like you and where you should go to meet older men. If be doesn't get the hint, he might offer some good advice.

Good luck and keep us in the loop!

 

[LookN2Talk]

Oh yes! I forgot about sporting events.

This is a great idea! I just got a job somewhere with a bunch of young people, but maybe I should go work somewhere like you mentioned. We have a local country club with a golf course, so that would literally be so perfect!

You could be the concession cart girl, that way you meet lots of golfers. You’ll also get great tips.

I agree with these as being great ideas, especially the cart girl. The conversations will come due to the job. Sporting events are definitely great as well but you will have to open up and talk, asking the questions that you mentioned about them is a great way to do it.

Sounds like you are well on your way.

Much success!

 

[LostHorizon]

One of them’s actually been kind of flirty with me, but I don’t want to get in trouble. He’s cute, too!

You’re smart to stay away from that one. As a college professor I can personally tell you the risk is never worth reward.

It doesn’t mean don’t flirt with them though lol.

 

[LostHorizon]

I could try to do the approaching, but I’m so shy! Especially with older men, I just don’t know what I have to say that they’d want to listen to. I can talk about books and movies and current events, and I’m sweet at least. I like asking people about themselves. Will that work?

And yes, that will work with the right older guy.

 

[Mike198042]

I’m in the northern midwest area of the USA.

I know where I need to plan my next trip now.

 

[LostHorizon]

Are you asking me if people smell or not?

No, I was saying that old man musk seems to be a lot of hype.

Ok. Regardless of age, the best men smell like this:
Snow even when it’s summer
The river
Gunpowder
Wood
Bear
Flannel
1A / Liberty

When someone comes out with a cologne that encompasses all of that, I will be the first buyer.

My man musk is the Bill of Rights and liberty securely protected with a hint of gun powder.

 

[AnomalyLady]

No, I was saying that old man musk seems to be a lot of hype.


My man musk is the Bill of Rights and liberty securely protected with a hint of gun powder.

Wear some flannel, go to the river, and then call me.

 

[LostHorizon]

Wear some flannel, go to the river, and then call me.

You want me to meet you down by the river?