Who Do You Reach For?

[unfoundiamond]

I reach for T or my friends.

I cannot trust or rely on anyone anymore...

I trust T to tend to me as he has tended to me following my major surgery 2 years ago.

I don't however trust him with my depression, Im more likely to reach out to a friend for mental support...

Sorry I cannot be there to take care of you, as I know you care for others all the time, it saddens me to know you're not feeling well, hope someones making you soup...

I miss you.

 

[minx1]

Who do I trust and reach out for?

My mum, my D, my friends....though more often than not, for numerous reasons I reach out and find that I'm usually the only one there. lol

When I am feeling poorly I often crave reassurance and that feeling of being looked after and cared for. But more often than not I just have me.

 

[twysted73]

Who do I trust and reach out for?

My mum, my D, my friends....though more often than not, for numerous reasons I reach out and find that I'm usually the only one there. lol

When I am feeling poorly I often crave reassurance and that feeling of being looked after and cared for. But more often than not I just have me.

I hate that.

It really kicks the "knight in shining armor" reaction/trait in me.
It's the only thing that does it actually.

So he's a very dimunitive knight. Quite small actually.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Oddly enough...the sikness that started this thread turned into full blown strep which inflamed my tonscils and occluded my throat to where I was unable to eat and breathing was fast becoming a challange.
It ended me up in the ER where my "trauma nurse" pierced my vein, mistook the muscle tissue beneath as a "port" and proceeded to push (yes, she kept pushing) the needle into my muscle tissue thinking she'd "jimmy" her way into her imagined "port". (the bruise was finally faded after two weeks)
Finally got smart, realized she couldn't fake it anymore and went for the median cubital where I was infused with antibiotics and, more importantly, massive amounts of pain medication.

I am much better. Thank you for stopping in.

People fascinate me sometimes.

Just...sometimes.

WOW I missed this... I am glad you are okay.... YOU know that.... I know what you mean about missing a vein.. I have so many times been poked and prodded not to a point of uncomfortableness but to the amount of pure dying.... So I know what you mean..

 

[DreamSensualist]

......

 

[greeneyed_Lady]

Depends on how sick I am really. Mostly I want to be left alone. Sometimes if there's a great deal of pain involved I want someone else there. I recently tore a disc in my back, so have had some moments of excruciating pain. The boy was here one of those days and I've never seen someone looking so helpless. He couldn't really touch me 'cause I hurt too much. He was great at fetching the ice packs, the drugs, making sure I had food and drink... he just couldn't do what he wanted to do most. Make the pain stop.

I ended up going for an MRI. One of the questions they asked was "are you clausterphobic?" I said no. I climbed up on the table, she explained things, handed me the panic button, put the headphones on me, and said.. ok.. don't move (I adore verbal bondage like that!!!)... and slide me into the machine. I was fine at first... then suddenly I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing, I broke out in a sweat... and this was all before the test started. What got me thru it?? I could hear the boy's voice in my head.. could feel his arms around me.. heard him whispering in my ear... "It's ok mistress, you can do this.. it will be over soon.. " Funny how it was him in my head comforting me... out of all my friends and all the people I know, it was him that got me thru it.

 

[SubKekiLee]

Nice bump timing SKL..

I know that some have mentioned reaching when they are sick vs when they are depressed .......

At times I find myself reaching only to then push away. I do this with my freinds, those I love .. pretty much everone around me. I feel that if I do reach, get that love that I need then the wall will come crumbling down, the tears will start & I don't know when it will all stop. And unfortnately I don't really know anyone who can take the time out of their life as and when they woudl like to have a decent meltdown so taht they can pick themselves back up, brush themselves off & kick start their life agin.

I even went so far a few months back to look into what commitments I had for the coming months & set aside a week to have a melt-down ... the week arrived and I couldn't have it. There was no trigger to set it off, and if there had of been there was no-one physically close enough to pick up the pieces. So, as I tend to do in my life I pick up all my stresses, hurt, pain & desolation & put them in a little corner of my mind without dealing with them. I think I'm fine. Ithink I'm coping. I am strong. I have a little support. I do NOT need my meds ... so I go off hem... Only to have my negative & irrational thoughts rear their ugly little heads when I have no-one close to me & a commitmemt to stay off meds. On top of that I keep thinking that "It's OK. I'll cry in a week and I'll be held", but now I've gone & fucked up so have a dreaded punishment coming as well as teh fact that I know myself well enough to know that by a weeks time from now I will have shoved all my issues back into the black hole in my heart and so by the time I can cling I will most likely be in a "I just got myself back together" tyle mood and want to be left alone because I am so protective of myself when I am newly temporarily mended....

I need to find that Depression / Meds thread ... or maybe just put another hole in the wall.....

Ill just say this.. NO Mountain High enough, No river high enough, no valley low enough YOU know Id do whatever I had to help you DS....

Im a phone call away 24/7

I<3U

 

[minx1]

I hate that.

It really kicks the "knight in shining armor" reaction/trait in me.
It's the only thing that does it actually.

So he's a very dimunitive knight. Quite small actually.

*smiles*

I believe the saying, size doesn't matter also pertains to knights

Even the most diminutive knight can have massive impact with the right words or actions.