Who owns you?

[Edward Teach]

Take a look at who's happy this morning and you'll know who bought this election.

Oil stocks up
Defense stocks up
Drug stocks up


Ed

 

[shereads]

Karl Rove owns me. He owns them too.

Remember how even Republicans got nervous when GWB blurted out the gay marriage amendment? They misunderetimated Rove, who correctly predicted that this election would be decided by new voters - and that the best way to fight the Democrats' new-voter registration drive was with the help of evangelical Christian churches. Everyone else thought the deciding factors would be Iraq and the economy.

Rove is a genius. An evil genius, but a genius just the same.

 

[shereads]

Yes, drug stocks are up but not for the reason you're thinking. The pharmaceuticals industry has its reasons for supporting GWB, but the stock rise is based on rumors that I plan to develop an addiction to painkilling narcotics that would numb a dozen Rush Limbaughs. I'm on the phone with Rush right now, begging for the names of his doctors.

 

[Edward Teach]

Yes, drug stocks are up but not for the reason you're thinking. The pharmaceuticals industry has its reasons for supporting GWB, but the stock rise is based on rumors that I plan to develop an addiction to painkilling narcotics that would numb a dozen Rush Limbaughs. I'm on the phone with Rush right now, begging for the names of his doctors.

I've already gotten a running start. I'm taking a handfull of Valium and going back to bed. Nightol.


Ed

 

[OhMissScarlett]

This made me think of a song by the brilliant John Wesley Harding.

The People's Drug

Got a stupid job, but it's fair money
Got a brand new car but I can't drive
I've got a sweetheart, I call her honey
And I've also got a wife
People say that they're depressed
But they go out, they're so well dressed
What is it that makes them feel that way?
Can't get it in no drug store
No man's an island, that's for sure
And it looks like the world just ran out of things to say

So, give me some of the people's drug
Give me some of the people's drug
Whatever makes you feel that good
I'll take it like I know I should
So, give me some of the people, people's drug
Give me some of the people's drug


Pick me up and take me to a movie
Give me an ending that I can understand
Sell me a rocking soundtrack, make it groovy
Give me backstage passes to the band
People always whine whine whine
Shut up and pay the fine fine fine
What's the difference anyway
Between being safe and being rad
When the big joke is we've all been had
You won't get to read the news in USA Today

God, it's a whacky race we're running
And I must atone for all my sins
God grant me some of what you're giving
Heard you don't need needles, don't need pins
I'll pay prescription where's the bill
I thought it was a bitter pill
But what's it matter what I feel
Take the dog and take the wife
Show me how to lead a better life
The price you people pay well it's gotta be a steal

 

[sweetnpetite]

Take a look at who's happy this morning and you'll know who bought this election.

Oil stocks up
Defense stocks up
Drug stocks up


Ed

See, its not all about oil.

Its about oil *stocks.*

 

[cantdog]

And anal sex is still very good!

 

[Edward Teach]

And anal sex is still very good!

Brace yourself, you've got four years of it coming.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

 

[Guest]

My man owns me.

 

[minsue]

Brace yourself, you've got four years of it coming.

PMSL!!!