Why are you back here?

[Deleted member 6789170]

time flies on here!

Def does

 

[baihoven]

I honestly only discovered recently that Literotica has online forums haha. I've been reading stories on the site intermittently for years but ever since I discovered the forums I started coming here to read the different stories and discussions people are sharing here.

 

[joe432]

I do get the feeling that my current cycle on Lit is soon to come to an end, in the same way it often does. There is the intensity that comes from signing up again, and while the boards are interesting, I feel I struggle to get the same engagement with people that I did 10 years or so ago when I used to be here more. Things change, I get that, and I am not being critical of anyone whatsoever. It is, what it is.

I’ve noticed that too, it seems like back ever a few years ago people were more interested in sharing and talking. Now it seems like many people just want to be entertained, like sit back and let the person your chatting with do all the work to carry the conversation.

Maybe Lit now has a different audience? Maybe I’m in the wrong section of the forums?

 

[sammyIammy]

I’ve spent too much time in my own head haha.

It’s sort of annoying, being so emotionally intelligent, because I know that my reaction to possibly viewing this as an addiction is obviously a sign it’s more true than false.

Risk management, harm reduction, small little micro doses. That works for awhile, until something sparks. Sometimes I think it’s crazy that people can’t see what’s happening behind my eyes, because it gets so loud. The loudest music, the busiest crafts, the most enthralling book can’t drown out the static that draws me here.

I’ve resigned myself to a relapse as long as it can lead to sweet relief one more time can’t hurt much, right?

Is it as simple as the dopamine of a new connection?

 

[Deepdesrp]

Yep - only a very few stay as long term connections

 

[EvaLane]

Is it as simple as the dopamine of a new connection?

I see this interaction between us a quick fix of dopamine The notification, being seen and responded to. It is nice and it does feel good, but…

I think I’m realizing that maybe what I’ve been chasing is acceptance within a partner that can help me actually be ok with letting go of whatever preconceptions I had going in to the experience.

I think by chasing that blindly, it led me to feeling more empty than satisfied - no matter how many orgasms I gained out of the trial and error

That’s why I’ve never blamed any of my past connections for the ways things panned out - I would never expect someone to know me better than I know myself.

Apparently that takes time, who knew?

 

[sammyIammy]

I see this interaction between us a quick fix of dopamine The notification, being seen and responded to. It is nice and it does feel good, but…

I think I’m realizing that maybe what I’ve been chasing is acceptance within a partner that can help me actually be ok with letting go of whatever preconceptions I had going in to the experience.

I think by chasing that blindly, it led me to feeling more empty than satisfied - no matter how many orgasms I gained out of the trial and error

That’s why I’ve never blamed any of my past connections for the ways things panned out - I would never expect someone to know me better than I know myself.

Apparently that takes time, who knew?

Those sinister little receptors . But yes. A lovely zing.

And yes. It’s a band-aid at best. It can feel empty if the connection is t mutually respected. It can feel unfulfilling. But at the same time I’ve made some amazing connections. Ones I miss but would never wish didn’t occur.

 

[sammyIammy]

Do you feel like you’re lacking acceptance?

 

[EvaLane]

Do you feel like you’re lacking acceptance?

Always

The tricky thing is that I’ve split who I am in half. Even someone who intends to fully accept me, really won’t ever be able to do so.

So I have people who accept and cheer for the hypersexual degradation bunny I am and I have people who accept and cheer for the motivated aspiring woman I am. There is not much (any) overlap.

Even in my (limited) long term relationships when I’ve really tried to be fully myself, I get compartmentalized into just being “girlfriend” or “wife”. I’m still split between me and bedroom me. No understanding, no acceptance, no connection.

Just longing.

 

[sammyIammy]

You are wonderfully complex.

I do believe it is possible to find acceptance of the whole you. It sounds like an intoxicating mix. One just can’t drink too much too quickly.

 

[sammyIammy]

You seem complex. I don’t know you well to be so definitive

 

[EvaLane]

You seem complex. I don’t know you well to be so definitive

A mystery wrapped up in middle class suburbia, a cliche and a tragedy

It’s alright, I welcome and challenge any assumptions made about me

 

[sammyIammy]

A mystery wrapped up in middle class suburbia, a cliche and a tragedy

It’s alright, I welcome and challenge any assumptions made about me

I actually like that dichotomy. Maybe that’s my connection radar pinging.

At least here you can exercise all three parts.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

It’s alright, I welcome and challenge any assumptions made about me

Okay.
I assume you fantasize and masturbate when you are on LIt.

 

[KyleR215]

It’s alright, I welcome and challenge any assumptions made about me

When you let go being concerned by what others think of you, you become free.

 

[sammyIammy]

Year after year, time after time, I come crawling back to this place. Jekyll and Hyde, but it’s just me with my eyes cast low and my hand between my thighs and my phone in the other again, because maybe this time is the time I’ll find someone who can hold a mirror up in a position I can actually see myself in.

Because that’s really it, isn’t it? We want to be seen, heard, known, understood. Dissected and analyzed and broken down and figured out. We want to know why we are the way we are and why we don’t want to change. Why does it make me feel this way?

The definition of insanity is… blah blah blah.

That’s why I’m back. Why are you back?

Dissected and analyzed and broken down and figured out. That’s beautiful.

Fuck

 

[sammyIammy]

Oh they accept me they accept me, encourage me, and press on my desire to continue down the path of dangerous behaviours.

Eyes cast low not due to shame, but fear, because I know I’ve already succumbed to everything yet to come. I can’t play pretend anymore, I’m here, inviting in the worst of the worst into my inbox.

Lit does have some of the nicest people though, you’re right. I’ve always thought that

Wanting to be seen and dreading being noticed at th same time. Just having others understand that is a relief.

 

[PantsAndPencils]

First time I was here as a virgin, learning to open up to my sexuality

I’ve been away for a while, but atm im really fucking horny, and my current fwb has been letting me down pleasure-wise so I figured I’d pop back in to see how things are going with folks on here!

 

[Firedog78]

I keep coming back for many reasons. Sometimes it's to look through the forums, sometimes it to see what kind of connection I can make. Like @PantsAndPencils said, sometimes I'm just horny and looking to see what I can get into.

 

[Dadoftwo87]

I come back because every time I swear I'll leave, I can be brave for a day, a month or half a year... but then my blood starts boiling for that kick again, to show myself, to find someone in tune with me, to hear the voices of my fellow kinksters... to simply enjoy my sexuality.... that hunger sleeps sometimes... but it never dies

 

[EvaLane]

Okay.
I assume you fantasize and masturbate when you are on LIt.

Did you mean while I consume the stories, or when I browse the forums, or when I whisper back dirty things to strange men?

Yes of course

To be fully honest, I usually only touch myself after I’ve been doing all of those things for many hours. The actual act itself only takes… seconds, sometimes.

Gosh forbid a girl enjoys herself

 

[Dadoftwo87]

Did you mean while I consume the stories, or when I browse the forums, or when I whisper back dirty things to strange men?

Yes of course

To be fully honest, I usually only touch myself after I’ve been doing all of those things for many hours. The actual act itself only takes… seconds, sometimes.

Gosh forbid a girl enjoys herself

only seconds??!?? I mean... I am absolutely fan of a slow build-up.... but that just seems a waste of good sexual energy no edging for you?

 

[Firedog78]

Did you mean while I consume the stories, or when I browse the forums, or when I whisper back dirty things to strange men?

Yes of course

To be fully honest, I usually only touch myself after I’ve been doing all of those things for many hours. The actual act itself only takes… seconds, sometimes.

Gosh forbid a girl enjoys herself

This is why I keep coming back; hopes of being one of those "strange men," for some lady, that receives whispers of dirty things.

 

[EvaLane]

only seconds??!?? I mean... I am absolutely fan of a slow build-up.... but that just seems a waste of good sexual energy no edging for you?

As long as my mind is stimulated, so is my body. I basically edge myself all day without having to touch myself. When I finally do give in and I use my toy, it usually doesn’t take very long. If it is taking longer than normal, it’s a bad sign.

That means I’m not stimulated enough and I jumped the gun. I’ll have to escalate my sources of stimulation and if that doesn’t work, well… I’m not afraid to ask for help

 

[Dadoftwo87]

As long as my mind is stimulated, so is my body. I basically edge myself all day without having to touch myself. When I finally do give in and I use my toy, it usually doesn’t take very long. If it is taking longer than normal, it’s a bad sign.

That means I’m not stimulated enough and I jumped the gun. I’ll have to escalate my sources of stimulation and if that doesn’t work, well… I’m not afraid to ask for help

I respect that very much! I also like to let the stmulation buld without touching... But I don't think I've gotten to a state where I could co to cumming in literally seconds...

Also.... *digs in his nightstand* I'm sure I have that old help-line cellphone hidden in here somewhere