Why didn't I die?

[CharleyH]

You might as well live.

Best sentance yet.

 

[CharleyH]

I'm sorry Charlie but i have seen many threads on the AH where people are just asking for a little support. I understand and respesct your feelings but i just don't agree with you on this one.
No hard feelings

No hard feelings taken, Joey - I have been thru this bullshit before and first hand and people like this need help - not writers on a sex thread who know nothing and cant really give the support that that person needs..

EDIT TO ADD: support comes from that person talking to a professional, and not you or me. Support comes from within.

 

[Liar]

Besides technical and medical explanations why you didn't die, there's just this:

Because you didn't. Rejoice and make the most of the rest of it.

 

[Liar]

Yes he does need a purpose to ask on an - oh an AUTHORS HANGOUT - what does this thread have to do with writing?

What does all the other threads that are not about writing but where you obviouslty don't feel the need to remark have to do with writing?

 

[Huckleman2000]

There is something that is bothering me.

A few months ago, I did something stupid. I was really depressed and things came to a head when I tried to kill myself. Hell, I tried the easiest method I could think of at the time: an overdose. My doctor had given a prescription for a two month supply of antidepressants (citalopram) and I decided to use them. One night, I swallowed 55 of them, one after the other. In a minute I had swallowed close to two months worth, I was waaay over the recommended dosage and was on lethal terms. I knew death would come.

But I didn't die. For some odd fucking reason I didn't die. This whole thing is really bothering me. Why the hell didn't I die? I have been racked with guilt for months now and don't understand why I didn't just collapse and die.

Two months of Celexa down the tubes!???

You clearly have an inadequate appreciation for the cost of modern psychopharmaceuticals. As such, you will not be allowed to die until the drug and/or insurance companies at least recoup the results of your financial indiscretion. I'm afraid you're in for a long and happy life, should you find the right combination of medical care and/or personal realization.

[edited out to top-post - not a good threadjack]

 

[Kain__Thornn]

We're all here for a reason, whether we feel it's because fate has something in store, because God wants us here, because things just happened the way they did. Going out by one's own hand screams out for help. Some of us got that help, others are waiting, a few have given up. In any case, when shit looks too thick to combat, get help!

 

[English Lady]

*hugs* love. I'm glad Dr M posted with an actual, medical type answer, as I think that may be what you were looking for.

I go with the angle that your time just wasn't up, love. I man it's obvious, if life is pretty good now, that you dying would have been a waste and a damned shame.
I believe in a higher power (everyone knows I'm a Christian round here by now *L*) and I believe your life was meant to continue.

And don't mind Charley, She seems not to realise this is a community, a place where people go for faceless comfort (most of us do not know the others in real life)when we're not sure what else to do. Her suggestion about finding professional help may be relevent, though. But you know if it is or not.

Glad you're around, really glad.

 

[S-Des]

*hugs* love. I'm glad Dr M posted with an actual, medical type answer, as I think that may be what you were looking for.

I go with the angle that your time just wasn't up, love. I man it's obvious, if life is pretty good now, that you dying would have been a waste and a damned shame.
I believe in a higher power (everyone knows I'm a Christian round here by now *L*) and I believe your life was meant to continue.

And don't mind Charley, She seems not to realise this is a community, a place where people go for faceless comfort (most of us do not know the others in real life)when we're not sure what else to do. Her suggestion about finding professional help may be relevent, though. But you know if it is or not.

Glad you're around, really glad.

I thought about suicide when I was a teenager (had a shotgun in my mouth), but chickened out. Probably never wanted to do it, just had some silly notion that doing something that extreme would alert someone to the pain I was in. I'm with Charley that our opinions are irrelevant to your specific situation, if you have a problem with depression, just because you're happy now isn't sufficient to assume everything's Ok.

I'll side with English Lady that I hope (although I often have my doubts) that when fate steps in, there is a reason. Whether there is or not, maybe the way to answer your "guilt" is to find something worthy to do with your second chance. Lots of people need help, kids need mentors, volunteers for all sorts of charities, etc... Maybe why you got your chance isn't as important as what you do with it.

Maybe I'm full of shit, I never can tell. But I'm glad you made it and hope you find your answers. To make this post remotely about writing, I know writing about my personal issues takes a lot of the stress out of my life. There's nothing I can do about my ex and how she uses my kid against me, so I write about things (some true, some not), that help me get past what's bothering me. My friends have noticed a definite change in my temperment and stress level since I started writing. I don't know if it's a long-term solution, but for now it feels really good.

Good luck,

 

[CopyCarver]

If all else fails, try to remember that survival is the best way to piss off the people who want you to check out, as well as the best way to beat depression--and life itself--at their own sick games. Cliche though it is, living well truly is the best revenge.

 

[vampiredust]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I you all