ColtonWrites
Secret Romantic
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2025
- Posts
- 503
Yes, there's the obvious. Sex with a (cis) man involves his dick. Sex with a (cis) woman does not.
But I'm in a more unusual situation and it got me thinking about how sex is different according to the gender of the people involved, even outside the mechanics.
I'm married to a (trans) woman who currently has a vulva and a vagina; has for most of the time I have known her. I've recently gotten involved in a FWB situation with a cis man.
So, anatomically this means that I've had sex with men with penises, women with penises, and women with vulvas.
The sex I have with my FWB is "anatomically" identically to sex that I've had with my wife, prior to her surgery. It is absolutely not the same feeling. And while I have not had sex with a man with a vulva, as a man(*) with a vulva I can say that I treat sex differently than women do. (Many trans masculine people identify/identified as lesbians/lesbian-adjacent. I do not.)
So if it's not the dick, what IS the difference?
(* wibbly wobbly gender bendy stuff, close enough for purposes of this discussion)
But I'm in a more unusual situation and it got me thinking about how sex is different according to the gender of the people involved, even outside the mechanics.
I'm married to a (trans) woman who currently has a vulva and a vagina; has for most of the time I have known her. I've recently gotten involved in a FWB situation with a cis man.
So, anatomically this means that I've had sex with men with penises, women with penises, and women with vulvas.
The sex I have with my FWB is "anatomically" identically to sex that I've had with my wife, prior to her surgery. It is absolutely not the same feeling. And while I have not had sex with a man with a vulva, as a man(*) with a vulva I can say that I treat sex differently than women do. (Many trans masculine people identify/identified as lesbians/lesbian-adjacent. I do not.)
So if it's not the dick, what IS the difference?
(* wibbly wobbly gender bendy stuff, close enough for purposes of this discussion)
