Why would a girl who has no romantic or sexual interest in me continue to lead me on?

[Stopokochac]

If you saw my other post in this thread, then you already have an idea of what's going on, so I probably won't give examples to keep it short.

Basically, I'd been talking to this girl online for years. I asked her about midway, maybe little less, if she has feelings towards me and she said she only likes me as a friend, mainly because of my face.
But as the years progressed, her behavior and comments suggested otherwise. She made many comments suggesting that her feelings might be changing, and some of my female friends felt the same.

But a few nights ago, we had a major falling out and when I had my friend message her, she told him I had been creepy with her in the past and send her disturbing and delusional messages about how I don't believe that she isn't romantically attracted to me.

But mind you, during this period she was constantly leading me on and even assured me I had never said anything creepy to her.

She finally send me a pic and said she'd been putting it off because she was afraid what I would think of her.

If I'm completely honest, she's a bit narcissistic. She always talks about how hot she is, how she's the model wife/girlfriend and how she can't even step out of her house without guys making advances towards her.

And she only said I was acting creepy and need to find a girl who finds me attractive and leave her alone, after she got mad a me. Because she didn't think I was creepy before and she didn't want me to talk to other girls because she was afraid I'd connect with them and discard her. So basically, she wanted me for herself even though she didn't reciprocate my feelings and would engage/be flirty with other guys, especially if they met her physical criteria.

So it seems to me that she just loves attention and compliments and men showing interest/being attracted to her in general, because it reinforces the high opinion she has of herself.

Am I wrong?

 

[LoneMilf]

To be honest, it sounds like it could be one of two:
1) You have been completely misreading her and she really isn't interested in you at all
2) She is interested, but only because it gives her the attention she seems to crave

Either way, you'll probably save yourself a lot of trouble if you just walk away now and don't look back.

 

[Stopokochac]

To be honest, it sounds like it could be one of two:
1) You have been completely misreading her and she really isn't interested in you at all
2) She is interested, but only because it gives her the attention she seems to crave

Either way, you'll probably save yourself a lot of trouble if you just walk away now and don't look back.

I have a tendency of to misread people, so it's highly likely. But if you knew the details, you might also think she was leading me on.
A while ago she got giddy when I asked her if she wants to see me shirtless and later said it's considered sexual in her country.
I also told her I shaved my body because I know she likes hairless men and she seemed totally into it.
And before she was stubborn about the guy having blonde hair and being younger then her, but later said she's become more open minded.
I also mentioned to her our age gap and she basically said it's not a problem even though she said she wanted a younger man.

The only thing that suggested otherwise was I said I wish she found me attractive and she said, "we can't choose who we find attractive." But I still thought she might've become more open because of our intense emotional connection.

I think it's a little of both though. There was definitely an emotional attraction.
The second might be possible, considering I was the only friend she had and the only person she trusted outside of her family. She said she liked making me happy, but I'm wondering if it was to feel better about herself.
Especially considering she sort of implied that she would abandon me if she got a boyfriend even though she didn't want me to do that to her.

 

[Escierto]

Dude, you are in the friend zone!

 

[LMWM321]

You need to move away from on-line relationships. ..Sure, make your intitial connections with someone online (via a dating app, etc.) but then meet in person.

What exactly were you expecting of this relationship? That it would become a full-fledged, exclusive romantic and sexual relationship all without seeing each other in person?

 

[Saint_Ann]

Keeping her options open and I made my point in 4 words.

 

[Stopokochac]

You need to move away from on-line relationships. ..Sure, make your intitial connections with someone online (via a dating app, etc.) but then meet in person.

What exactly were you expecting of this relationship? That it would become a full-fledged, exclusive romantic and sexual relationship all without seeing each other in person?

I had planned to meet her in person regardless

 

[Deleted member 1215945]

Dude, I’ve read your comments and it seems to me she’s simply FUCKING WITH YOUR HEAD! She probably has a big black daddy in real life and is fucking with you in cyber space. Don’t seem so pathetic man move the fuck away from her. Get on with someone else. If your only romantic escape is her then you are a looser. There’s too many other people in the world to fuck.

View attachment 2508367

I guess you are a dude, right? Grow some nuts.

 

[Escierto]

I had planned to meet her in person regardless

She is never going to meet you in person.

 

[Stopokochac]

Dude, I’ve read your comments and it seems to me she’s simply FUCKING WITH YOUR HEAD! She probably has a big black daddy in real life and is fucking with you in cyber space. Don’t seem so pathetic man move the fuck away from her. Get on with someone else. If your only romantic escape is her then you are a looser. There’s too many other people in the world to fuck in the world.

Yeah, I'm a dude. She definitely doesn't have big black daddy, but I told our mutual friend about it who's a guy, and he also said she sounds like she's playing games.

That "looser" part was a bit uncalled for. But no, I wouldn't call her my only romantic escape. I have plenty of other reasons for talking to her.

 

[Stopokochac]

She is never going to meet you in person.

She actually wanted to, but after what happened a few nights ago, she probably won't.

 

[Britva415]

I had planned to meet her in person regardless

For how long? It's already been "for years" and you never moved in the direction of meeting her in person.

 

[Britva415]

I have plenty of other reasons for talking to her.

Like what?

It seems to me that whatever they are, you should forget about them.

 

[SPARTAN047]

If you saw my other post in this thread, then you already have an idea of what's going on, so I probably won't give examples to keep it short.

Basically, I'd been talking to this girl online for years. I asked her about midway, maybe little less, if she has feelings towards me and she said she only likes me as a friend, mainly because of my face.
But as the years progressed, her behavior and comments suggested otherwise. She made many comments suggesting that her feelings might be changing, and some of my female friends felt the same.

But a few nights ago, we had a major falling out and when I had my friend message her, she told him I had been creepy with her in the past and send her disturbing and delusional messages about how I don't believe that she isn't romantically attracted to me.

But mind you, during this period she was constantly leading me on and even assured me I had never said anything creepy to her.

She finally send me a pic and said she'd been putting it off because she was afraid what I would think of her.

If I'm completely honest, she's a bit narcissistic. She always talks about how hot she is, how she's the model wife/girlfriend and how she can't even step out of her house without guys making advances towards her.

And she only said I was acting creepy and need to find a girl who finds me attractive and leave her alone, after she got mad a me. Because she didn't think I was creepy before and she didn't want me to talk to other girls because she was afraid I'd connect with them and discard her. So basically, she wanted me for herself even though she didn't reciprocate my feelings and would engage/be flirty with other guys, especially if they met her physical criteria.

So it seems to me that she just loves attention and compliments and men showing interest/being attracted to her in general, because it reinforces the high opinion she has of herself.

Am I wrong?

Yes. Any woman like that is a narcissist. If a guy did this he'd automatically be a toxic narcissist.

I made the same mistakes here and otherwise with men and women. Don't repeat them. Please. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.

This is not uncommon especially with teenage women and the ones in their 20s - but it can be any woman of any age when she gets a little attention. The women here gave you the right advice. Don't listen to any woman who tells you to try harder. You'll just play into her hands.

The correct reply is to withdraw your attention. Don't mind anyone who tells you to be a real man and this and that - that's your call. She's leading you on and it's her fault, not yours - but you do need to read the signs of being used.

 

[adlon]

"I'd been talking to this girl online for years. I asked her about midway, maybe little less, if she has feelings towards me and she said she only likes me as a friend"

You've answered your own question, to keep asking for options from others would appear to be an attention seeking exercise by you.

Move on.