Widower finding purpose in loss

[Houstonguy30]

Candace nods. She brings over one last suit for you to try on. I wait patiently.


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdGh9P-XMAE62ag?format=jpg&name=medium

 

[Becaa57]

I shake my head

"No this one will cause me to have a weird tan line if I spend much time in the sun"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I nod. That makes sense. I offer an idea, "Perhaps this is just your evening bathing suit? The other one for daytime?" I smile, hoping you say yes.

 

[Becaa57]

"Are you sure??? The deal was a dress and bathing suit, I don't want you going crazy on this"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I smile, glad at your insistence about the 'deal'. GOOD, you're in this for the right reasons. Not a Gold Digger.

But I also need you to get used to being spoiled if you are to become something more in my life.

"Deals can be renegotiated." I smile. How can you brighten my day so dramatically?

I turn to Candace and speak with her. I tell her to box up the dress and the two black bathing suits for you, and to secretly box up the other tan dress and cream bathing suit in gift boxes, out of sight.

I watch as Candace hands you a bag. I look at my watch. It's 3:30. I smile at you. "I have a few more things to attend to with this blow-up at work. I've ordered the food to be delivered at 5:30 pm. How does a 6pm arrival at my place sound?"

 

[Becaa57]

"That sounds perfect!!!! I will be there around 6:00, remember I'm cooking!!!"
You walk me to the car and make sure i'm in

Another kiss goodbye from you as I drive off, you watch until you think I can't see you, then I see you go back into the store. Wonder why, maybe something you have to straighten out with Candace.
Better not be your cock!!!! God where did that come from????

I get home, take the dress out, hang it on the closet. I've never worn such an expensive dress in my life!!!!

Planning out the dinner I'm going to be making, waiting until it's time to go

 

[Houstonguy30]

I walk back into the dress shop and speak with Candace. I grab the cream bathing suit and the tan dress. Candace scolds me about how young you are, but I can tell she's joking. She's jealous.

Candace and Helen were good friends, so she knew all about the house we were building and the play-areas that we were planning. So Candace asks if I intend on getting you into the "red room." I shrug and honestly say that I hadn't really thought about it yet. I'm just so dumbstruck at my luck to re-meet you that I'm running with the punches.

Candace hands me one final box and says it's on the house. She promises it is a lingerie set "made for playtime" and that you will look stunning in it.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GcdS9IkXwAAoVOK?format=jpg&name=large

I leave the store and pack the boxes in the trunk. I head home and make sure the house is perfect, clean, and ready for our date. I take a shower, groom myself closely, and put on my standard slacks and business shirt outfit.

About 5:30 the food delivery arrives. At 5:45, unfortunately, my lawyer calls me with the bad news. The CFO has embezzled and/or squandered over $24 Million of company funds. I'm LIVID.

As you walk up to the door, promptly at 6pm, you hear my voice raised as I'm speaking to the lawyer.

I hear you ring the doorbell. "Dammit Steve, I have to go. Just DEAL WITH IT, okay? You have full fucking authority! Yes. Yes, Send over the documents and I'll e-sign them."

I walk to the front door from my office and open it to see you, stunning in your black dress. "Oh, Rachel. You look GORGEOUS. Please, come in."

 

[Becaa57]

I hear you telling at someone named Steve, backing away from the door as you yank it open. Almost starting to cover my face from being hit. When you say something

"Oh, Rachel. You look GORGEOUS. Please, come in."

I come in trembling, never having seen you like this.
"Are you sure we can reschedule for a better day?"

You shake your head saying it's ok.

I carefully come in and put down the things.

Keeping a close eye on you, I take the steaks and asparagus out to the grill.
Seeing that you had started the coal, saves time.

"Thanks for starting the coal, this shouldn't take long. I brought a bottle of wine if you'd like one"

Cooking the meat gives me something to think about. Some very memories unfortunately.
when you bring me a glass of wine

Moving a bit away from you

"Thank you, I couldn't help overhearing you are having some serious problems?"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Yeah, It's work stuff. I really don't want to burden you with it. In short, a trusted employee of mine has been stealing. I have people on it now and it will be resolved." I watch you as you look at the wine almost suspiciously. I take a sip of my glass and set it down.

"I'm really sorry that our first... uh... that you are seeing me like this. It's all hitting a bit closer to home than it should, given the last two years. I do apologize." I smile, feeling really guilty for my tumultuous emotions today.

I suddenly realize I'm being terribly rude. "Wait here." I rush off to the laundry room and grab a freshly washed cooking apron. I rush back to you.

"I wouldn't want you to stain that gorgeous dress." I hold it out to you, hoping you'll let me put it on you, but not expecting you will.

 

[Becaa57]

"Yeah, It's work stuff. I really don't want to burden you with it. In short, a trusted employee of mine has been stealing. I have people on it now and it will be resolved."

"Ok, I just don't want to be in the way"
Taking a sip of the wine

"Wait here." I rush off to the laundry room and grab a freshly washed cooking apron. I rush back to you.

"I wouldn't want you to stain that gorgeous dress."

"Thank you, another gift from your friend Candace she had it delivered"

It's a cream colored dress, sexy but not nearly as fancy as the ones you bought me.

After a few minutes I announce the food is done. Grabbing a serving platter I bring it into your dining room.

Serving the steak and asparagus. Getting more wine for us as we sit down.

Before we start to eat

"Have to tell you, hearing you yell like that brought back a lot of unpleasant memories, something I hadn't planned to mention for a while if ever. But I think you need to know"

Taking a sip

"In a not so far away past. I was in an abusive relationship and raised voices like that would mean that I'd be sporting at least a black eye, maybe split lip or more. No matter who the anger was directed at, it was always me who had the repercussions"

"He was always careful that I didn't end up in the hospital, but still"

 

[Houstonguy30]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdlWFjLWYAEktZ7?format=jpg&name=900x900
I continue to watch your amazing form as you cook dinner. So sexy yet so focused. I wonder if that's how you are in bed too.

I hear your words during dinner. I stare at you, aghast. Immediate guilt washes over me, and the good mood that I've been in since you arrived washes away with it. "Oh, Rachel. The memories I must have trudged up with my anger must have been awful. I am so sorry." I reach my hand across the table towards yours but you pull it back.

"I have to admit. My anger today is rather out of the norm for me. It is just that the CFO's actions aren't just out of greed. But they are personal." I decide to hold back the complex and seedy points for now. Helen's name doesn't need to be dragged through the mud right now.

I've never hit a woman. Even at my angriest, I never laid a hand on Helen, or anyone. I always preferred to use the focus and energy from my anger for lustful actions. If I was angry, Helen was going to have a night of orgasms topped with orgasms.

But how do I explain this to you? How can I make you understand and believe?

"You are NOT in the way, Rachel. In fact, your presence has calmed me all day long. It's been quite the rollercoaster. Down due to work, then WAY up because of you. Back and forth." I smile. "With over 25 years of marriage to Helen, I learned to use my anger FOR our relationship, not against it. I never laid a hand on her, unless she asked me to." I smile, bringing back an earlier conversation you and I had. "I would really like you to enjoy yourself tonight, so no more discussion of work."

I pause a moment, thinking about your comment about not going to the hospital. "So, no 'permanent' scars, except for the most permanent? I want to apologize just because I'm male. I'm sorry you went through that."

 

[Becaa57]

I can see in both your face and your body, that you aren't like him. You are truly sorry for what happened, both the part you did, but also what you had no control over.

"With over 25 years of marriage to Helen, I learned to use my anger FOR our relationship, not against it. I never laid a hand on her, unless she asked me to."
I can't help but smile at the unless she asked me too, guessing what that might mean.

Thinking back at what happened last night at dinner and today at the dress shop, I realize that this is not a man who would hit a woman, anyone really in anger. He isn't like that guy.

He had reached for my hand, and I had pulled it back.
Reaching out taking your hand in mine.

"It's ok I just didn't think I KNOW you would never hit someone out of anger, and I'm sorry for your problem at work and the terrible timing it meant for us"

Looking in your eyes seeing only concern for my feelings, something I've not seen in forever.

"Trust me, I'm past thinking you might hurt me"
smiling a bit
"Unless I ask"

"So, no 'permanent' scars, except for the most permanent?"

"Honestly, yes I have some scars from that relationship, the kind that are visible. They are small and most all of them in places that don't show"

"Eat your steak before it gets cold!!"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Yeah, unfortunately those most permanent scars, the emotional ones, are the easiest to hide." I nod.

"I'm sorry again that I triggered something. I'll try to keep that to a minimum in the future. As I said, this is a quite unusually personal attack I'm dealing with."

I feel your hand in mine. It feels GOOD. Your skin is so soft and warm. I could get lost in you.

You command me to "Eat your steak!" Something in the way you say it makes me imagine you ordering me to eat YOU because you need to cum NOW. My cock swells again with my lustful thoughts.

How can you so easily cause my emotions to sway up and down so rapidly?

"The steak is fantastic. You cooked and seasoned it perfectly. Anytime you want to cook, you're welcome to use the house." I smile. Having you here is really good.

The food is SO good, we mostly eat in silence, looking at each other and smiling. Once we are done, I make sure to pick up the plates and start cleaning them at the sink. I motion for you to sit and enjoy your wine at the end of the large counter while I clean.

"You look amazing in that dress. Although, the black one was even sexier. I noticed you brought in a clothes bag. Care to share your planned change in attire with me? I enjoyed the fashion show this afternoon, but I'll be honest, I didn't get to truly look at you for long enough in anything you wore."

 

[Becaa57]

"You look amazing in that dress. Although, the black one was even sexier. I noticed you brought in a clothes bag. Care to share your planned change in attire with me? I enjoyed the fashion show this afternoon, but I'll be honest, I didn't get to truly look at you for long enough in anything you wore."


"The black one is for our dinner date, Candace thought you'd enjoy this for steak at home?? I'm guessing you had a hand in it"

It's nice to sit and drink watching you clean up the dishes. Something else that never happened. Making myself stop thinking about the past and think about the future

"Yeah, unfortunately those most permanent scars, the emotional ones, are the easiest to hide."

"In a way the emotional scars even though not visible to others are the hardest to put behind. Especially this type the betrayal of someone you though cared for you, and giving him chance after chance to prove that he didn't mean it, although it was always somehow my fault, never his!!!!"

"God I hate him!!!!!!!!!!"

"But enough about him and my past. We need to come up with a word to stop me when I start off on that"

"The physical scars, are there, but hurt less"

"Helen had you well trained, doing the cleanup?? I like that"

 

[Houstonguy30]

“Yes, Maybe I didn’t verbalize it correctly, but that’s what I meant. The emotional scars are the ones that are deepest and heal the slowest.”

I smile, although a little disappointed. “I have to be honest. I had hoped to see you in every one of those outfits tonight.”

I continue cleaning the dishes.

“I always enjoyed cleaning up. Helen liked that about me.” I let the innuendo linger.

“I’m being quite rude. I haven’t given you a tour yet. With all the work drama I just jumped right into the prime time dinner, didn’t I? Tell you what. Let me finish the dishes and then I’ll take you on a full tour and then we can hit the hot tub.”

 

[Becaa57]

“I have to be honest. I had hoped to see you in every one of those outfits tonight.”
"Well maybe two of them tonight!! That one dress is special and will have to wait until our dinner date"
“I’m being quite rude. I haven’t given you a tour yet. With all the work drama I just jumped right into the prime time dinner, didn’t I? Tell you what. Let me finish the dishes and then I’ll take you on a full tour and then we can hit the hot tub.”

"Sounds good to me, this place is so much hmm not necessarily nicer, but you've obviously spent more money on it"

"And the hot top sounds great!!!!!"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I finish washing the dishes and putting them into the dish washer. "Helen and I designed this house after the kids moved away for college. It was to be our final house. Everything designed for us to enjoy." I leave out that much of the house was built for us to enjoy each other. The 'red room' and the sex bed out by the pool as two of the key elements. But furniture was sprinkled throughout the house that was purpose designed for sex, like the Liberator Esse in the family room.

"Let's start at the front door, that's probably the easiest." We walk to the front and I point out my office and the exercise room, both with windows out the front of the house.

"You've already seen the kitchen and the outdoor grilling area." I point out two guest bedrooms and the family room. I see your eyes settle on the Liberator Esse in the family room area, probably wondering how odd it looks. https://www.liberator.com/media/catalog/product/cache/13d664f25587980a9024ebf6c8cd9ec7/e/s/esse-lounger-2-d-iron-product-1-234-3000x3000.jpg

We walk down a hall, passing a red leather door as I completely ignore it. We enter the master bedroom. It is huge with a double-king four poster bed and another Liberator furniture piece in a kicked-out corner overlooking the backyard.
https://www.liberator.com/media/catalog/product/cache/13d664f25587980a9024ebf6c8cd9ec7/s/u/supervio-chaise-maple-saddle-product-02-234-3000x3000.jpg

"The master bathroom is through that door."

I watch as you walk through the door and into the master bathroom. It's huge with a double-jacuzzi and a shower that looks like it could fit four people easily with multiple spray jets and rain-style showerheads. I hear a "wow" from the bathroom and closet area as I wait for you to return.

 

[Becaa57]

The house is unlike anything I've ever seen before. It's obviously comfortable. But no or hardly any chairs for just one person. Looking like it was all designed for two or more people. The shower a perfect example of that. You could fit maybe a half dozen people in it, easily.

Some of the furniture while looking comfortable also looks unlike anything. I've ever seen pillow in some strange spots. I didn't remember Helen having back issues, and it doesn't look like you do.

I decide I will wait to ask about them.

"Wow!!!! You went all out on this house!!! Amazing!!! I love that shower!!!! Mine is just barely big enough for me!!"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I hear you speaking from the bathroom as you take it in. I speak loudly back at you. "Yes, we really did. It was meant to be our house to enjoy everything about each other through retirement. Sadly, Helen never got to live here. The house was finished about 2 months after she passed." I'm suddenly hit with grief again. Then you walk back into the bedroom from the bathroom and my heart skips a beat again. You are so fucking beautiful.

"Let me show you the backyard and then we can enjoy the hot tub." I motion out the door and follow you out as you pass the red door with a glance. I retake the lead and walk out the back door. It's dusk now, so you can see the entire back yard, but the light of the late evening won't be around long.

We walk down a roof-covered path and down a few steps. Off to the right is a huge gazebo with a large circular bed, meant to be our 'play bed'. In the gazebo is a fireplace and a cabinet full of drawers. A few more steps away is the large pool and hot tub. The entire back yard is completely private with a view of the downtown area from the hill the house was built on. The nearest homes on either side are a nice distance away and their view hidden by bushes and trees. Helen and I planned to spend the majority of our time back here, naked, playing, making love all day.

I point out the different areas of the backyard, not commenting on the play bed area. I point out the fire pit, hot tub, pool, and the hidden grill area that you already cooked at.

 

[Becaa57]

"Your house is beautiful. I'm so sorry that Helen passed before she got to enjoy it, seems too big for just one person"

Wandering around your yard with you,

"This seems to be setup for entertaining. I don't remember you two throwing a lot of parties, did that start after I moved away?"

"Smiling, you figured once that bothersome girl was gone it was safe to enjoy life?"

"Hot tub before or after we eat?"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Yes, it certainly isn't set up for a lone man in his mid 50's, is it?" I see you look back at the huge round 'play bed' a few times. I wonder what's going through your mind right now.

"Oh yes. Once the kids were out, the plan was for Mom and Dad to have THEIR play-time finally! Unfortunately..."

"Hot tub now, definitely." I want to see you in that bathing suit again, don't you realize that?

"I assume you brought your suit? The back yard IS set up so suits aren't necessary, with the complete privacy, in case you didn't." I smile in a flirtatious manner, making light of the fact that I know you have NO intention of hot tubbing with me naked right now.

 

[Becaa57]

"Oh yes. Once the kids were out, the plan was for Mom and Dad to have THEIR play-time finally! Unfortunately..."

With that comment a lot of what I'm seeing clicks in place. You were setting this up as a swingers house. I only know about them because my last lover wanted us to do that. But I got the feeling it was more so he can be with other women.

"I did bring my suit, thank you for that. And while you have a very private backyard, I think best if I wear it. Wouldn't want you to have wasted your money"

Looking around

"Is that where I change?"
Point at a small building back a bit, looks to me like shower changing area

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Yes, that's the pool house. Or you can change in the main house. I made up the guest suite just in case you decided to imbibe a little too much tonight. Didn't want you to feel pressured to drive home."

I watch as you nod and you head back into the residence. I follow and point out the guest suite on the opposite side of the main floor.

"The guest suite is over there. We kindof bypassed it during the walk through. You'll find fresh linens, towels, soap, new toothbrush and all the fixings. Feel free to make yourself at home and you can change in there."

As you walk away from me, I take a moment to take in your beauty and how damn sexy you look in that dress.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GdlWFjLWYAEktZ7?format=jpg&name=900x900

 

[Becaa57]

"The guest suite is over there. We kind of bypassed it during the walk through. You'll find fresh linens, towels, soap, new toothbrush and all the fixings. Feel free to make yourself at home and you can change in there."
I go into the guest suite and again amazed at the quality and arrangement of everything. Even in here a very nice king sized bed

Taking off my dress and underwear. I stop and looking at myself in the full length mirror on the wall.
Thinking, I guess I look ok, but not beautiful

Putting on the suit, I look again. Wow this does look good, although sexier then I normally wear

I take towel from the bathroom and go back out to the hottub area, you are already there

"Hi, sorry for taking so long, just amazed about your house"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I grab my smartphone as you walk into the guest suite and I make sure the hot tub is set to the right temperature. I then go into my bedroom and change into a pair of baggy swim trunks. I walk by the red door on the way out, wondering why you didn't ask me about it.

I head out to the hot tub with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. Tonight is certainly turning out to be a wonderfully pleasant night. You are gorgeous, funny, intelligent and most important, NICE. I could have you around anytime. All the time.

I slip into the hot tub and set the champagne and glasses down. The water is a perfect temperature. Hot but not too hot. I see motion in the house and then you walk out. You're even more gorgeous than when you tried on the bathing suit in the shop.


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GcsvkjHXsAAD9fQ?format=jpg&name=900x900


"Rachel. You look.... gorgeous."